Leo had mixed feelings about his trip. Working on the movie deal and seeing Percy topped the list of positives. Being back in LA with his memories and Autumn so close were on the bottom except when they weren't. Leaving his kids was some place in the middle. He would miss them, but it was only one week, and he trusted Isla.

Isla. He didn't know where a break from her stood on the feelings spectrum. She continued to appear in his dreams. Although he preferred dreams of Isla over nightmares of Autumn, they made acting normal in the morning difficult. There was an intimacy to being dropped off at the train and picked up at the end of each day. Another commuter, a woman, commented about his family. "It's so nice your family drops you off every day. I love your wife's hair."

The words stung a moment. His wife wasn't his wife anymore, but she mistook Isla as his wife. She had beautiful thick, chestnut hair. It was much lighter than Lilli's darker hair.

As he rode to the airport, the memory of a recent dream filled his mind. He and Isla were in the pool together. When he hired the stranger in the heavy sweater and skirt, he did not know the garments hid a sexy body. Even in her modest swimsuit, he was glad the water was freezing, or he would have been the indecent one.

He went through the headaches of flying with long lines and the security checkpoint. Matthew was at the gate when Leo arrived. The men greeted each other with a handshake.

"How was your trip from Maine?" Leo sat next to the author.

"No traffic. I'm quite excited about our meetings."

"My goal is to protect your stories. It's personal, my daughter won't be happy if the movie isn't like the book."

Matthew smiled. "I appreciate it. So you know, I plan to stay on East Coast time. It'll allow me to wake and write for a few hours, and after our meetings. I'll call my wife and go to sleep early."

Leo nodded. "I'll want to call my kids."

Matthew looked at him with a slight tilt of his head. "No wife, Leo?"

Yes. No. "I thought Lilli would have filled you in on my single status."

Matthew shook his head. "Not me. Her best friend Lily perhaps. She talks about her wedding a lot. Women like those sorts of things."

Lilli was a sorcerer with Isla. She had helped transform her - jeans, shorts, swimsuit. With each transition, Isla appeared unsure, but she embraced her new styles and didn't go backwards. At times, she reverted back to the shy woman. It wasn't just Lilli because her two friends helped too. It was a good thing he brought plenty of work, because thinking about Isla confused him and it was a long flight across the country. The only perk was he upgraded to sit with Matthew in first class.

Once in Los Angeles, a car drove them to their hotel, close to the studio. Leo sat in the back glad to not live in the congested city anymore. His commute in and out of Boston took a third the time of his old commute. It had been just a part of life that he had accepted.

As if reading his mind, Matthew said, "I used to love living in London, but I'm happy to live quietly on the beach."

"I don't miss this at all." He looked up at the haze. The smog never left. In his backyard over the pool the sky was shades of blue, not gray.

Once at the hotel, Matthew shifted his feet. "I'm going to go write. I'll see you in the morning."

Leo nodded. "No worries."

They rode the elevator together, but when they stepped off, each turned in a different direction.

Matthew waved. "Have a good night."

It had been awhile since he traveled or been alone. In his house, after the kids were asleep and Isla went downstairs didn't count. One night, he went downstairs to organize his books, but she hadn't come out of her room. He wished she had, but then he remembered sleeping there over Easter and his nightmare.

He dropped his bag and flopped on the bed. Leo looked around his comfortable room. Smiling, he took his phone out and called his home line before bedtime.

"Dad! Hi." Riley answered. "Are you there?"

"Yes, sweetie. In my hotel room." The warmth in his chest comforted him. "How was your day?"

"Good. We swam, and we went with Isla to her friend's house. It was fun and a little boring. Cody wants to talk to you."

"Daddy!"

"Hi Code. Did you have a good day?"

"Yeah, I played with kids and ate some cookies and swam and..."

Leo laughed. Cody took on life with gusto. Losing his mother at a young age had protected the boy. He listened a while, before he said, "Put Isla on." Her hello sounded tentative. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine. We had a nice day."

He teased her. "Even though you worked on Sunday."

"Being with Riley and Cody is not work."

He could hear the smile in her voice. He felt confident they were in excellent hands. Not long after his call ended, his phone rang again.

"Hey. You made it?" Percy's voice boomed through the phone.

"I'm here. The room is nice. I checked in at home; the kids are fine."

"I can take you to see her. It's Sunday night so..."

Percy's mother always went to church on Sunday and Wednesday night. Leo was getting used to once a week.

"I'll get an Uber. I'd rather be..."

"Alone. I get it."

"I know." He had the sense of getting it over with.

He ordered an Uber and wanted the ride to last forever. He could never prepare himself for the shock of seeing her. As he entered the facility, he feared he would be turned away. The woman at the desk didn't care who he was as he signed in the visitor's log. She asked if he knew his way and he nodded. Only too well. The smell hit him first. It was like the hospital, but also unique. He occasionally smelled it in his nightmares.

As he walked down the hall, he heard the conversation of families visiting their elderly relatives. He slipped into her room without anyone noticing. Inside the door, he looked at her from a distance. The lamp left a shadow, but her eyes were closed. He hated when they opened to reveal the emptiness inside her.

He slowly stepped forward and sat next to her. It always surprised him that her hand felt warm. Her heart kept beating. Across from him was a picture of his Autumn with Riley and Cody. He had taken it just days before her weekend trip. They looked so young, and she looked so beautiful.

"Hi, Aut. I'm here. I know it's been a long time, but we moved. The East Coast, I know. Shocking! We love it! Riley really struggled at first. She's beautiful like her mother."

"Cody has grown up." Leo glanced at his picture. "He's lost his chubby cheeks. He has your expressions and smile. Odd how Riley looks like you but my mother insists she has my smile. Mom misses you too."

He continued by telling her the nanny saga. Without realizing it he morphed into a confession. Maybe he should have gone to a priest.

"I went on two dates. They felt wrong, but I had sex. I'm sorry. I never ever would have divorced you if things had been different. I didn't want to hurt you, but I want you to rest peacefully." It was the ultimate fuck you to her mother. They divided their meager savings, and because he had full custody, he kept the equity in their home. Financially, Autumn became her mother's burden.

Without thinking, he said, "I am attracted to our nanny. You would like her. You would also like Lilli and Zach. They are both agents and are really good friends." Not good enough to trust with the truth.

She continued to lie still with her eyes closed. For a man who was angry with God, he still believed. If only she were in heaven, she would hear him. Maybe her soul was and her body was just a shell. Tears dripped down his cheek, as he told her about Cody falling on his bike. He talked about Riley. She wasn't the little girl Autumn left behind. He heard a noise behind him and turned his tear-streaked face.

"Leo! It's been forever since I've seen you." A nurse walked to Autumn to check on her machines. Kelly had never made him feel guilty for his decision. "Did you move back?"

He shook his head. "Just here on business."

She gave a sad smile. "How are the kids?"

"Good. Getting big."

She smiled. "Can't keep 'em from growing." He shook his head. Her smile faded. "How are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Okay. Mostly. I wish... Well, it hasn't changed, so you know."

She mustered a smile. "You wish she had stayed home that day."

"Exactly. We'd be happy in LA. A family." He paused. "We've settled in and have friends, but I'd rather have Autumn and the traffic and smog."

"Have you? Are you still alone?"

He nodded, refusing to think about Reagan. She was a blip. Isla came to mind, because he felt less lonely with her in the house.

His voice cracked. "How. How is she?"

Kelly's thin smile said it all. "The same. Her mother sits with her every afternoon."

"Not in the evening?"

"No. Will you come back another night?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. I'm here until Friday. Does anyone else come?"

"Not that I know of, except on her birthday when her father and brother come."

Leo always struggled on her birthday and the date of the accident. It was the day he lost her.

He cleared his throat. "I should go. It feels late for me."

She smiled. "It was great to see you. Show me a picture."

He took out his phone and showed her a picture of the three of them from Easter. They looked nice dressed up, but the photo looked incomplete.

"Look at him. He's still adorable, and she looks more and more like Autumn."

He nodded, because it was a bittersweet reality.

"Take care of them and yourself. She would want you to be happy."

She left him alone. He stood over his wife and took her hand. Slowly he bent over and kissed her cheek. She smelled of the same shampoo. It seemed like a cruel trick. Wiping his eyes with his hands, he walked out straight through to the main entrance without looking at anyone.

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