Wearing jeans instead of skirts made Isla's job easier. She didn't realize how cumbersome the long skirt had been. The worst part was the attention she received with her new look. It went beyond stares from parents at school pick up and her friends gushing. Men, strangers looked at her and made her feel uncomfortable. She had preferred to be invisible. It felt safe. The sisters taught her to treasure her body as a temple of God. Men should respect her temple.

When she mentioned her concern to Marcia the older woman laughed. "God created men to lust. The goal was procreation. With our life expectancy, if people procreated the way God intended, we wouldn't be able to feed half of them. Think of those already struggling from a lack of resources."

Everyone she met had a unique way of looking at the world. If for no other reason than to show him she didn't look like a nun, she agreed to another date with Paul. He was the only person who knew her past. Hopefully, he hadn't told his mother, but certainly, Helen would have said something given her experience with the convent.

Dressed in jeans, she waited for Paul to arrive. It was movie night again and Leo ordered pizza. She apologized for not cooking.

Leo shook his head. "You don't work seven days a week. I used to be alone on weekends. You'll miss the movie."

She didn't always like cartoon movies. The previous one was about a lonely old man who tied balloons to his house. She had cried and felt embarrassed.

"You should enjoy time as a family." As she said the words, she realized she felt a part of the family. One day, they wouldn't need her anymore.

She greeted Paul in the driveway with clammy hands, because she wanted to try kissing again. Hoping to avoid embarrassment, she had already told him about her purchases.

He looked at her jeans and said, "Look at you."

The heat spread across her cheeks, as she climbed in his car. He didn't speak until he drove out of the neighborhood. "I thought maybe we could have takeout at my place."

"Your place?" Her voice shook.

"Don't worry. I'll be a gentleman."

He had almost become a priest and came from a religious family. Even Sister Daniel might approve of Paul. Maybe. Isla trusted him. "You are a gentleman."

He laughed. "True, but not all men are. They take liberties."

Liberties? Why did he speak cryptic? Isla didn't respond hoping she would never meet any of those men. He drove in the direction of the diner where she met Riley around the corner from the shelter. A few miles further, he parked in front of a large house. Isla followed him in the door and up a flight of stairs. At the top there were two doors. He unlocked the door on the right. Inside was a medium size room with a tiny kitchen.

"This is my place. I know it isn't much, but teachers don't make a lot."

Isla looked around. The navy sofa looked soft and the wooden table dusted. His TV was smaller than the one they used for movie night.

Paul said, "Do you want to sit down?" She slipped off her cardigan because it felt warm compared to the chill outside. He smiled. "I like your shirt. You really changed your style."

The flower print top was made of thin fabric and had puffy sleeves. It gathered with an elastic at her waist and dropped straight below it. Every item she wore felt different to her.

"I'm not sure I have style. My friend Lilli chose my clothes."

"She did a good job. Pizza or Chinese or Chipotle or..."

"What's Chip-o-lay?"

"Chi-pote-lay. It's a restaurant that makes burritos and rice and bean bowls. It's Mexican, kind of. Maybe we should stick with Chinese. What do you like?"

She shook her head. "I've never had any."

"Seriously, you remind me of an old-old movie called Blast From the Past. A family hides in a fallout shelter for years. The character comes out and is lost in the real world. Your time in the convent sheltered you from real-life experiences."

"Tonight is movie night. I've seen Up and Toy Story."

Paul laughed. "Your innocence is refreshing."

"Are you insulting me?" She pouted.

"Not at all. Would you like some wine?"

She nodded and watched as he twisted open a bottle and poured two glasses. He was also in jeans. He didn't look like the magazine men. His pants were baggy and his belly wasn't flat where his shirt tucked in. His thinning hair looked dull even when the light shined on him. It occurred to her that Paul was the male version of convent Isla.

"Do you ever feel invisible?" She surprised herself by speaking aloud.

He walked over and handed her a glass with a lopsided smirk. "Invisible?"

She took a sip. "This is nice, better than sacramental."

He laughed. "I hope so. What do you mean invisible?"

"In a crowd, no one sees you. I had been hiding in plain sight."

"You aren't hiding now." He frowned. "I feel that way but not with my work. Socially. I'm not the guy in the bar all the women flock to. You, on the other hand, would have to fight men off."

"I don't want to fight anyone. I left because I wanted a different life. Everything they taught me to believe is different in the real world."

He took a sip and nodded. She crossed her arms in front of her. It felt like his eyes kept looking at her shirt. "You are the opposite of my students. They live in the real world and I attempt to teach them religion and social awareness."

"What do you teach them?"

"So many things. Some I don't believe. For example, if they were in public school they would learn about safe sex. In my class, I teach respect for yourself and others and therefore abstinence."

Isla's eyes grew wide. "You don't believe in abstinence?"

His cheeks had a hint of pink. "No. It's not healthy. The thought of celibacy is why I left the seminary. And I'm embarrassing you. I'm sure you were told repeatedly by the sisters how to stay pure."

Isla had been raised to believe certain things belong to married people. "I think I'm the wrong girl for you."

"Or you need to change your thinking. I can't imagine marrying someone I never slept with. I look at marriage as a lifelong commitment for myself."

Isla thought of Leo and his divorce. He didn't seem bothered by his status. He must have been interested in something since he dated. Did he not like celibacy either? She didn't want to think of him with the woman who smelled of too much perfume.

"Am I upsetting you? The church has lots of controversial topics which lead to lively debate. We recently talked about the scandal. I tried to convince them to separate the spiritual church from the sins of sick men."

"What sins?"

"You know about the ongoing accusations of priests who sexually abused young boys and girls, and the subsequent coverup by the Church."

"What? That's a sin!"

He nodded. "You never knew. Did you ever watch the news?"

She shook her head. "Not regularly."

"Those sisters didn't do you any favors by keeping you sheltered. What did they say when you left?"

Isla shook her head. "I left a note, but I didn't say goodbye. I'm not sure if I was afraid they would convince me to stay or if they wouldn't."

"They lost their housekeeper."

Was she more than that? She had thought so, but questioned it after Sister Agnes died. "What else do you discuss with your students?"

"So many things. We discuss life, and not just abortion. I like to focus on how other ways of respecting life are important. Some are complicated."

"Like what?"

"Capital punishment. If your loved one was murdered would you want to take a life for their life?"

Isla didn't have loved ones, but then she thought of Riley and Cody and felt a chill. "It wouldn't bring them back."

"No. The church teaches it is wrong. A difficult one is determining when to let a person die. The church teaching is complicated. It focuses on extraordinary means. There are clear decisions which involve assisted suicide that are outside of the church's teaching. It is okay to stop cancer treatment, but not to end a life early."

Isla said, "What if the treatment could make the person live longer?"

He shook his head. "It can be deemed extraordinary. With medical advances people survive, but not all. The treatments can ruin the life a person has left and leave a financial burden on their loved ones."

"Isn't that giving up?"

"No. There have been some famous examples over the right to life of people who will never recover and require modern medicine to breathe. If it is medically determined they can't recover, then the Church allows for the removal of the extraordinary means, the ventilator. The Church does not permit withdrawing nutrition."

"I thought all life was precious."

"But is that really life? I've had some great debates with seventeen-year-olds. I suggest I order food and hope you like it."

Isla nodded and felt unsure of their discussion. The world was so complex. "Can we talk about nicer things?"

He smiled. "How nice you look?"

She shook her head. "No, or I'll go back to my skirts."

"Don't do that!"

She discovered she liked some of the Chinese food. She wasn't a fan of the deep fried crispy food but liked the vegetables. They talked about Easter and holy week which would keep them busy. She had a lot of cleaning to do to get ready for company.

After they finished eating, she helped clear away the dishes and food. In his tiny kitchen, they bumped into each other. Each time, Isla couldn't decide if she liked it or not. Before she reached an opinion, Paul held her and put his mouth on hers. His mouth moved over hers, and she didn't know how to respond. Her worry over what to do blocked off her feelings. She hadn't decided if she like it when he pulled away.

"I could kiss you all night." He turned to place food in the refrigerator without waiting for a response.

When they sat on the sofa again with full glasses of wine. He kissed her again. Unlike when they were standing, he trapped her against the cushion. His body crushed her breasts. She felt his hands on her waist. Her new clothing defined it while her old sweaters hid it. His tongue pushed at her lips causing them to part. His mouth devoured her in a sloppy way that left her intrigued and disgusted at the same time. His fingers brushed her skin on her side causing her to push on his shoulder.

He looked down at her with dark eyes. "You are amazing." His gaze shifted to her shirt. "It's not a sin for a man and a woman to be together."

She quickly moved away. "Together. I don't. I can't." She shook her head. "I'm tired."

He frowned. "That didn't sound right. I didn't mean sex. I know you need more time since you're a..." He paused.

"A what?" She shut her eyes.

"A virgin."

She looked up at him. "You should be too. You're unmarried and teach religion. What would your mother say? You were going to be a priest."

His cheeks turned red. "I told you sex is the reason I left. I like it too much."

"You had sex before you went to the seminary?"

"I was twenty-two. I went to college and lived in the dorms. The world is not how you think it is. No man will marry you without knowing you first."

"Then I wouldn't want to marry him. I want to go home."

He moved away from her. "I'm sorry. I. It's just your different from the girls I've met. You are innocent, but you came over dressed like that."

Her head turned. "You told me I looked like a nun. I don't want to be a religious sister, so I bought clothes to look normal. I'll admit I'm still getting used to not having the security of my wool, but the only skin showing is on my arms." She held out her arms. "You don't seem to be happy no matter what I wear. Please take me home." She stood and put on her sweater. Neither spoke on the drive. She mumbled thank you before jumping out of the car.

Leo looked up from his reading. "Did you have fun?" She stared at him, unable to answer. He frowned. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Is something wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Leo shook his head. "I know Lilli and she probably pushed you out of your comfort zone. Still you are perfectly appropriate, and anyone who thinks otherwise is wrong. I think you should wear colorful shirts. You look younger than with your old colors."

She nodded. He didn't say more, so she slipped downstairs to be alone. She didn't know a lot, but she was certain Paul was not the man for her.

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