Isla didn't know what to expect about the shopping trip with Lilli. She didn't want to look like a nun. For years, she lived at the convent hoping to hear a calling. She prayed and followed everything the Church taught. Instead of feeling a stirring to serve the Lord, she longed for a different kind of family. Living with the Nelsons helped her to cement her dreams. At first, she thought her fascination for the men in the magazines was pushing her towards sin, but then she felt the lure of babies and pregnant women. She wanted to be a mother.

She ran away from the security of the sisters in search of a different life. The distance was so she wouldn't be tempted to go back. If only she had been better prepared for the world. New clothes scared her. She had dressed to look like she fit in at the convent, but in the world, she stood out, especially on her date.

Paul wanted to take her out again. She shut her eyes and remembered his lips on hers. She wanted marriage and family but was ill prepared for the steps necessary to get there. Talking to Leo still made her nervous, more so than talking to Paul.

When Paul had asked her to dinner again on Saturday, she didn't know how long shopping would take. He sounded disappointed. Isla didn't feel any urgency in her pursuit of a husband. Although she didn't think she could afford to be picky.

After Riley apologized for her bad day, Isla hugged her. "It's okay. We all have bad days."

Riley looked up at her. "Do you?"

Isla nodded. "I had a lot of them before you found me."

Riley smiled. "We needed a nanny." Her face morphed into a frown. "Are you going to leave us?"

"Not unless your father tells me to go."

She didn't worry as much about going back to the shelter. Even the night he went out for the ink, he had said it was nice not to drag the children.

"But you have a boyfriend. Zach is Lilli's boyfriend, and they have the same condo. We went to visit them."

"It's a sin to live with someone without being married." As Isla said those words, Leo walked into the kitchen and looked at them.

"Daddy are Lilli and Zach sinning?"

He stared at Isla before turning to his daughter. "Sweetie, there are some rules, but they are God's rules. Lilli will need to talk to God about her choices, just like I'll have to talk to God about mine. And you will need to too if you fight with your brother."

Isla watched a shadow fall over his face as he spoke to his daughter. She appeared satisfied and ran off to watch TV. Isla said, "Sorry. It's confusing."

"What's confusing?" His face softened.

"Church rules and good people not following them."

"Lilli will be glad to know you think she's a good person." He smiled. "The world has changed. Everyone has to decide for themselves what they can live with."

"Like divorce?"

He nodded. "It was not a simple decision for me. Faith is personal and mine has been challenged. Having you here so full of faith has inspired me."

Isla looked at him but didn't know how to help him. "Father is very nice. He would listen."

Leo nodded, but left the room. He left Isla wondering what his faith challenges entailed, but she would respect his privacy.

When Lilli arrived alone on Saturday morning, Leo let her in the house. "What's Zach doing today?"

"What else? Working. Reading."

Leo smiled. "That's my plan too."

Lilli winked. "You're welcome."

Isla wanted to be as natural as Lilli. She felt uneasy, especially with Leo.

Lilli looked at the children. "You ready?" They nodded. "Just Easter?"

Riley pouted. Leo shook his head. "Some spring clothes too. Don't bankrupt me."

Lilli said, "I'm frugal, I shop bargains." She pointed to Riley. "You got that? We're looking for deals."

Isla needed deals. She had money, but wanted to save as much as possible.

Once in her old car, Lilli rubbed her hands together. "This is going to be fun."

Isla didn't think it was fun. Cody rebelled against everything Lilli picked. She gave up on the boy's section once Cody had a nice shirt and pants for Easter. Riley wanted everything, and Lilli told her no.

By the time they took a break for lunch, Riley had a shirt and skirt for Easter and four more outfits. The kids picked pizza. As they waited, Riley turned to Lilli. "Isla says you sin."

Lilli laughed. "If only she knew the truth." She looked at Isla. "My friend's grandmother was the most religious person I knew before you. She has lots of grandchildren and many lived with their boyfriends and girlfriends. One even got divorced and remarried. I figure if the Taylors do, then it will be okay.

Isla thought about talking to Father about her confusion. "But do you plan on getting married?"

Lilli smiled. "Yes, but Zach hasn't asked me yet."

Isla felt a pang in her chest. She wanted love.

Riley said, "Isla has a boyfriend."

"I went on one date."

Lilli smiled. "Was it fun?"

Isla shook her head. "I was nervous the whole time."

Lilli laughed. "Did you spill, or worse, choke?"

"No, not really. I just felt jittery inside."

"I know that feeling. I loved Zach for two years before he asked me out, but I couldn't talk to him."

"You? You're so pretty and everything I'm not."

Lilli shook her head. "I bet some new clothes will do wonders. Who wants to help Isla find some new clothes?"

"Me." Riley bounced excitedly. Cody looked less enthused.

Isla looked at the boy. "Maybe we shouldn't. They'll be bored."

"They'll be fine. It's only one more store. Cody can play a game on my phone." Riley pouted. "We need you to help find clothes for Isla."

Lilli's clothing looked expensive. She wanted to trust her, but away from the shelter of the convent, it was hard. For years, they taught her to rely on God, but everyday Isla relied on other people. As the others ate pizza and talked, she worried about changing. More than just her clothing. Who was the new Isla? She still struggled to understand people, like sweet Lilli's choices. She also wondered how any woman would divorce Leo. Isla knew nothing about men, but thought he was near perfect. His looks weren't perfect like Zach, but she liked his face better than Paul's. She wondered what his lips would feel like. Stop! Divorce was still married in the eyes of God.

"Are you okay, Isla?" Lilli looked at her.

She nodded. "Fine." She covered her mouth. She lied.

Lilli drove away from the mall and turned into a shopping center with a Stop & Shop supermarket and a few other businesses.

"Where are we going?"

Lilli smiled. "My favorite store."

She pointed and Isla read, "Consignment Shop."

Inside were racks of clothes. Lilli pointed to a bench towards the back and handed Cody her phone. The boy sat; Ilsa would keep an eye on him while she shopped.

Lilli pursed her lips. "I can't tell what size you are."

"My sweater's a large."

"And it is too big for you."

It was Sister Agnes' and Isla kept it after she passed on. She saved her first, and Leo saved her again. Sister Agnes used her influence to keep Isla employed, although she made very little compared to what Leo paid her. When Sister became sick and weak, Sister Daniel took over and told Isla if she wanted to stay, she had to work toward her vows. She tried, but it was a struggle. Then she went to the supermarket and saw the men, and she wondered. She no longer had to wonder what it felt like to be kissed.

"Here are two different sizes. Try them on." Lilli handed her two pairs of denim jeans and pointed to the dressing room. She hadn't worn jeans since foster care. Lilli grabbed a pink shirt. "This too. You need color."

"Yes." Riley clapped and disappeared in the racks.

Inside the small closet with a mirror, Isla looked at herself. There were no full-length mirrors in the convent. She looked like a washed out nun. After she pulled her sweater over her head, she looked at her threadbare bra. She had hid her breast for so long, but the shirt Lilli handed her hid nothing with its plunging neckline. She didn't know she could look like that and wasn't certain she wanted to. Because she had mastered obedience, she slipped off her skirt and pulled the jeans on over her tights.

"Lilli, the pants are too big."

"The smaller pair?"

"Yes."

"Those were my size. Here." Jeans appeared over the door. "Come out so I can see."

She snapped the pants and looked up. She didn't recognize herself. How could she step out looking so different?

"Isla come on." Riley whined. Slowly, she opened the door. "Wow!" the girl said.

"You look great!" Lilli smiled.

"I feel uncomfortable." She pointed to her neck.

"Okay. No low neck, but the color is perfect on you."

Isla had never been perfect.

Riley handed her a dress. "For Easter."

It had flowers all over it. Had she ever worn flowers? She tried it on because Riley wanted her to. She liked the high neck. The sleeves were short and her elbows looked red and chapped. They probably didn't like hiding inside oversized sweaters.

The others handed her pants and shirts and she tried each on. They commented, and she handed them back to Lilli. Lilli said, "One more outfit."

Isla looked at the skirt. It wasn't heavy like hers. The navy fabric felt soft. When she put it on, it hung to her knees. Her skirts were much longer. When she stepped out, Lilli smiled.

"It's perfect for church or a dinner date. You need to get rid of those black stockings. It's warm enough for bare legs." Isla froze. She always covered her legs even in the summer. "Take them off."

Isla reluctantly closed the door for privacy and rolled the knitted tights down her hairy legs. She opened the door and frowned.

Lilli's eye widened, and then she snickered. "You need a razor. We'll stop for some. Here, put these on."

Isla took jeans and a pale pink tee shirt. She put them on and wondered who the imposter was in the mirror.

Lilli carried a pile of clothes to the register. The total was more than Isla wanted to spend. Lilli said, "We can charge them to Leo. He can take a little out of your pay."

Isla felt embarrassed enough wearing new clothes. "No, I have money." She took her change purse out and counted the bills.

"Come on, Cody!" Lilli waved.

Isla felt unsure walking out of the store in jeans, while holding her old sweater and skirt, but she was afraid to speak up to Lilli.

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