Dear Old-Worn-Out-Notebook of Mine,

After years of being together, i think Baekhyun is still naive as i could tell. Since our debut, we've been sleeping in the same room in the dorm and most of the time, we sit together during travels. During our free times, we chat. You know the getting-to-know each other stuff? So yeah. It's like that.

So what i'm gonna telling you about, Mr. Notebook, is what i found out a while ago. Here's the thing. I have a sister and you know her, right? Her name is Yura and when we're younger, she use to teach me how to clean my room. Of course i hated it because i'm a freakin guy but she insisted and Mom scolds me about being messy.

And as a consequence, i'm the one cleaning my and Baekhyun's room.

And that's how i found that paper containing a letter Baekhyun wrote for the ChanBaek fans. He slipped it between the pages of a thick Korean-English dictionary here in our room over the bookshelf. The book is between my songbook and a Harry Potter book (Baekhyun was watching and reading that series before).

I think it was silly of him to put it there. Or maybe he thought i wouldn't be thinking of wiping that dusty bookshelf every time i clean. But anyway, i still found it. Hahaha. 

So when i found it, i think about answering it, too. Hahaha. I'm so sweet, right? Answering ChanBaek fans' questions which i would rephase so that they would refer to Baekhyun. And since Baekhyun already wrote a letter, i'll just write it in this notebook.

And this time, I AM SURE BAEKHYUN WON'T FIND IT.

Geez. I am feeling quite nervous now. HAHAHA~

x x x

So, um, first question is, "What do you think of Byun Baekhyun?"

To begin with, my first impression of Baekhyun is someone i could never approach. He doesn't look friendly when i first met him and he was looking at everyone with a smug look on his face. That was irritating, right?

But when we were introduced and i shook his hand, it was different. And then he smiled. Damn. His smile is really something.

God. I can't say the right words here.

What i think of Byun Baekhyun?

First, he's gorgeous. He's gorgeous in so many ways. Even the way he waves his hand in the air is pretty. When he turns his head to my direction and then he'll smile, it's stunning. When he bend down to pick his fallen pillow when he's hitting me after teasing him, it's graceful. When he wipes the bottom of his lip when he drinks from his mug, it's flawless. When he pouts and look away when i say something nice, it's beautiful.

Everything about him is wonderful. That's him.

Second, he's caring. He might be a tease most of the time and pretends like he doesn't care, most people know that. He might not even look at you when you trip or something, or most probably, laugh at you. But he cares. He really does. Maybe he doesn't like showing.

Okay. After i threw up during MAMA, he insisted on sitting with me during our way home. And he was holding a water bottle and barf bags. He keeps on asking me if i'm okay. And i keep on telling him that i am. Then he does this serious look and he'll stare at my face for more than a minute. I would be like, "Baek, what the hell?"

Then he said, "What? I'm studying your face."

I frowned at him. "And then?"

"You're lying." He said firmly. "Do you want to sleep? My shoulder's not feeling stiff tonight. You could use it."

See? He cares. And i accepted his offer. I sat a little low in the car and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt really nice. :)

Third, Baekhyun is emotional and expressive. I like that about him.

He cries when he feels like and sometimes, he doesn't bother hiding it. Only if he thinks that you wouldn't tease him about it. I like it that he knows how to cry. Some dudes think that crying would make them weak. I don't think that's really true. Crying would only make them more manly, i think. Because it means you're strong enough to express your pain.

So Baekhyun cries and i know EVERY TIME when he's lying, hiding something, uncomfortable, sad, happy, angry, irritated and everything. See. I know him. ;)

I could go all the way about what i think about Baekhyun but your pages, Mr. Notebook, is limited and my hand writing is quite big, don't you think?

(Baekhyun's answers on this question was so cute. Hahaha. I took a picture of the letter with my phone and i'll read it again, i swear.)

x x x

Question number two is, "What is Baekhyun to you?"

Geez. I think Baekhyun answered it quite nice.

I'll also admit that we're flirting. What kind of flirting? I don't know.

But i tease him about kissing him and sleeping with him. I always laugh when i say those things, but sometimes, i really mean them.

Okay. Was that so gay to you, Mr. Notebook?

I'm curious about kissing a dude. But i never liked to kiss anyone aside from Baekhyun. He's just so... appealing? I think that's the right word. He apeals to me more than anyone else and i like his lips. They're soft and really pink.

I can tell that they're soft because i did kiss him. Once. When he's asleep.

Okay. I am gay for Baekhyun. Fine.

x x x

"Do you like Byun Baekhyun?"

I like him. I do like him.

I like him when he smiles. When he sings. When he dances. When he walks. When he frowns. When he wrinkles his nose. When he comb his hair. When he eats. When he reads. When he ran his hand through his hair.

I like him in every way possible.

I like him every day.

I like him every second.

I think that's enough to answer this question.

And i never thought Baekhyun likes me. His answer made me feel a certain hope. I think i want to kiss him again. This time, longer.

x x x

Number four. "Will you get jealous when Baekhyun is partnered with another girl in show/movie?"

I've been through a more painful kind of situation. Mr. Notebook, i know you know what i mean. So Baekhyun being partnered with someone else in a movie would definitely pain me, too. But maybe not that much.

Besides, i think what's more important is "who" Baekhyun is thinking when he's doing sweet scenes, for example. Or "who" he's thinking when he's kissing other girl. (Okay. That stings.)

And i think you want to know, Mr. Notebook...

YES. I'll be thinking of Baekhyun during my upcoming drama. I will be thinking of him when i'm talking to my leading lady. I'll be thinking of him when i'll do those sweet scenes with her. If ever there'll be a kissing part, i swear i'll be thinking of Baekhyun's lips.

I swear my mind would be full of him.

(So Baekhyun, why get jealous when it's you that i like? Hm?)

(And Baek, we didn't jog at the nearby country. You're overreacting again.)

x x x

Here's question number five. And HAHAHAHAHA.

"Who's top and who's bottom?"

So obviously, I am "top" and Baekhyun is "bottom". Mr. Notebook, do you really think Baekhyun could be the "guy"? No, right? He's the "girlfriend" type. He's so small and adorable.

And when i think about this "bottom" label, i think about Baekhyun's slender body. God. I think i'm being sinful now but i can't help it!

The ChanBaek fans are so great at this. I am glad they know who's "dom" and who's "sub". Hahaha. And I am more than glad that i am the "guy" in ChanSoo, ChanSe, and ChanKai. But where did you get those ships, guys? Those are "bromance". ChanBaek is more like, "romance." ;)

Last thing, i don't like the KrisYeol ship. Grr. I don't like being the "bottom." *shivers" NO. NO. NO.

Last last thing, i swear Baekhyun is sexy. I often see him without any shirt on and i just want to hug that waist. You know that kind of waist, Mr. Notebook? Slender type of waist? And he looks like a GIRL! Most of his pictures is so adorable and he looks like a pretty young woman.

BTW, i'm keeping some of his cute photos in my phone. :)

x x x

"Did you have sex already?"

How I wish.

But no.

I respect Baekhyun, of course. And we're not even a couple. Yet. So why have sex?

And Baekhyun doesn't like to be the one being penetrated, eh? And i don't think i'll like being "bottom". So as long as he doesn't like being "bottom", we won't have sex. Hm. Hm.

But i wonder if ever we'll do it. Hehehehehe~

(Baekhyun, i swear i'll be gentle. ;))

x x x

We're near the end. Oh yeah.

"Do you want to marry Baekhyun?"

F*ck yes. Definitely yes.

A wedding with him... that would be wonderful. :)

And if ever, i swear i'll take care of him. And love him more than enough.

Meeting him was like... finding a piece of my heart. And i never knew i was missing that piece until i saw him smile.

(And Baekhyun's answer on this one made my cheeks burn, Mr. Notebook. I want to hug him really tight again.)

x x x

The original question number eight was "Why did you hurt him(Chanyeol) in the past? (You know what i mean)".

So... is this about Taeyeon and Baekhyun?

Well, i don't think Baekhyun wanted to hurt me. But i was hurt. I really was.

I am not happy that they're not together anymore. It only means something really bad happened and Baekhyun must felt real pain. I don't like him feeling pain. It makes me sad, too.

But everything's fine now. And i am ready to make him feel happy.

(So Baekhyun, won't you take a chance with me? I promise not to hurt you.)

x x x

"Are you reading ChanBaek fics?"

Hell yes! Hurray for amateur authors!

But unlike Baekhyun, i read at livejournal and sometimes, wattpad. I read the english ones but when i don't understand them anymore, i'll search for korean.

At first, i read them out of curiousity. But i found myself enjoying it so sometimes, i read the oneshots and short stories so it wouldn't take much time. I'm still a busy person, you know?

I don't like it when i'm a jerk. And i don't like it when i'm hurting Baekhyun. I want to punch that character. -,- But unlike Baekhyun, i'm reading some of the bed scenes. This may sound pervert but i like reading them. Especially because i'm the "top". ;)

And since then, i'm curious about the "Baekhyun's delicious and sexy moan".

I wonder when i'll be hearing it myself.

x x x

So lastly, "What can you say to all ChanBaek haters and shippers?"

Dear haters, get a life.

Dear shippers, continue shipping us. We like it when you're making those banners during concerts. I am quite thrilled about ChanBaek fans being happy when we're having photos together. And before i forget, you guys are editing pictures of us, right?! And even making fanarts!

Geez. You guys are something.

And... ChanBaek is near to be real. ehehe. ;)

x x x

I bought the cake because Sehun and I passed a cakeshop while we're jogging and there's that very nice red velvet cake and it suddenly reminded me of Byun Baekhyun. I am happy that he was grinning when he took it from me.

So right now, as i write this journal in this old notebook, Baekhyun is now snoring on his bed. I am still grinning because i found his letter. He's so cute.

And i am thinking about kissing him good night.

Mr. Notebook, what do you think?

Oh right.

I will.

Still loving Baek,

Park Chanyeol

x x x