I'm really curious.

What's your favorite shot here in ChanBaek Cravings? :) 

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To every ChanBaek shipper out there,

I've been scrolling through different sites these past few days, especially tumblr, smtown.com and instagram. So many questions and comments are thrown to me everyday, i don't know what to make of them. Sometimes, i answer them in my mind, as i seat on the backseat of our car. Or as we eat as a group.

But it's surprising cause more than 90% percent of questions are about Park Chanyeol and me. Why do i always get paired with him anyway? And why the number of ChanBaek shippers outnumber SeBaek and BaekSoo shippers combined? Do we really look like a real couple to you? Am i supposed to get married with him in the future?

I've come across few questions in the said sites that i would like to answer. This is because i am quite bored now and it's nice having the room to myself. That Chanyeol went jogging with Sehun. Guess what? We'll talk about him in this secret letter i'm writing. And yes. This is awkward.

So, question number 1: What do you think of Park Chanyeol?

This is like the supposed-to-be easiest question to answer. But my pen was hovering above this paper for a while. Well, Park Chanyeol is noisy and annoying. He likes to talk nonsense and call me into his jokes. Sometimes i would like to just walk away and ignore him but i really can't. He has this kind of laugh that's so contagious i just find myself laughing with him. It's silly. But it happens. All. The. Time.

I also like that he doesn't care if he looks ugly when he laughs. You know? That boisterous laugh matched with his deep voice, it's not even pretty! But i don't know why I like it. So much.

Park Chanyeol is also nice. He's really nice especially when it comes to his friends. I remember when i left my wallet during a trip (stupid, right?) and he insisted on paying for a jacket i like. I turned him down, so many times but when we left the mall, he handed me a paper bag. And yes. It's the jacket.
I also like it when he brings me food to our room when he knows i don't want to eat. Or when he knows i'm sick. He takes care of me. I like that.

But i would never forget how he stays behind or beside me when we're in large crowds. This happens in airports and concerts. He's always so near and sometimes, he would tug on the hem of my suit. I glared at him once when he tried to put his arms around me because we're in PUBLIC. But this was what happened when we're in the car already:

Me: Why were you clinging to me? That was annoying.

PCY: I wasn't clinging, Baekhyun. I was just walking close.

Me: And tugging on my suit?!

PCY: We're in a large crowd.

Me: ...AND?!

PCY: I was worried you'll disappear.

And i just ignored him that night. What would i say right?! I was practically blushing when he said that and my heart was doing that cliche fast-heartbeat.

And god. This is so gay.

Anyway, moving on... question number 2: What is Chanyeol to you?

I've read this question too many times i lost count of how many ChanBaek shippers are asking them.

Really? What is Chanyeol to me?

Right now, he's my co-member in EXO. We're friends. We're buddies. We're traveling together. We're roommates. And... we're flirting. Yes. We're flirting, ok?

I get the feeling you're not contented with my answer but it's all i got. For now.

(This answer makes me sound like head-over-heels for him. LOL.)

For question number 3: Do you like Chanyeol?

I can't even... *sighs*

What do you think? Do i like him? Or maybe love him?

I like Park Chanyeol in so many ways. I really do. And after everything i mentioned above, do you really think i don't like him? He's gorgeous and i know him better than the fans and our co-members (remember, we're roommates. and flirting.). He maybe really silly sometimes but i like him like that.

Besides, there was a time when he grabbed my hand as we're traveling through plane ( i don't know why he did that). It was night and the plane was dimly lit. I squeezed his hand back.

Since then, he's been kissing my forehead before i go to sleep. Or before he goes to sleep.

Kissing. My. Forehead.

And i was like a teenager again. Damn.

Fine. I like him. Period.

I'm getting tired from writing this long but here's question number 4: Do you get jealous when Chanyeol makes movies/shows with other girls?

Do you guys really have to ask?

OF COURSE I GET JEALOUS!

I was glad i was part of EXO Next Door and i am comfortable with Ga-young. But every time there are sweet scenes, i always get uncomfortable. I just want to get out of the set and sometimes i really do! Glad the director and the staff doesn't notice that. But when i don't, i just torture myself by watching. And frowning.

I don't want him getting partnered with anyone. It bothers me. and hurts me too. but what can i do, right? we're in this industry. I guess, i'll just have to understand.

But it still PAINS me, dammit. *heavy sigh*

Ok. This is so gay. And sissy.

Why does jealousy even exist?

(i'm suddenly missing Chanyeol right now. where did they jog btw? at the nearby country?!)

Errr... question number 5: Who's top and who's bottom?

I would love to skip this question because you guys prefer "ChanBaek" than "BaekYeol". Meaning, Chanyeol has to top and i am the bottom. But can we at least use other term for this?
Maybe "man" and "girl". Or "dom" and "sub"? ("top" and "bottom" is like... during sex, right?)

So why do you like Chanyeol being the guy?! I could be manly too, right? And just because he's taller doesn't mean he has to be the guy in this ship!

But on second thought, i basically understand. Okay fine. Chanyeol has the deep voice, manly figure, tall height, and he's boyfriend material. And i'm this slender smurf with a high pitched voice and bubbly attitude. So it's "ChanBaek"? Not "BaekYeol"?

I want to "dom", too. You guys are so mean to me. :(

(then i remembered Chanyeol's biceps whenever he's wearing a sleeveless shirt... and... well... he's... he's really a "dom"-material. FINE.)

But you're still mean to me. :(

LOL for question number 6: Did you have sex already?

This is absurd. And unimaginable. I don't even know what to feel about this.

(I swear i am laughing while writing this. LOL.)

But to be perfectly honest, i am thinking of this at times. Me and Chanyeol... having sex. WOAH. That's something. And then i remembered that you guys like me to be "bottom". And i'll have second thoughts.

He's the one entering me?! And i'm the one being... penetrated?! You guys want that?! Why are you even... *sighs again*

OKAY FINE. since this is a secret letter for all ChanBaek shippers, i admit having erotic dreams. With him. And it's hot. Really.

(*reminiscing past dreams*)

Question number 7: Do you want to marry Chanyeol?

He's husband material. I wouldn't deny that fact.

After all these things and when we're older. Maybe i'll marry him. Or ask him to marry me.

If tomorrow's the last day of the world, i'll spend every remaining second with him.

Question number 8: Why did you hurt him in the past? (You know what i mean.)

Guys, i don't want to dwell on this question. It's in the past. We just have to... move on, right?

And i'm not even sure if he was hurt about me and Taeyeon. I'm not even sure if he really like me the way i like him.

So again, it's in the past. Let's just forget about it now.

Okay. This is tiring. Question number 9: Are you reading ChanBaek fics? 

Yes, i do.

But i skip the bed scenes because you guys are so... imaginative. WHY IS THAT?!

But i like when Chanyeol is the sweet type. And he's taking care of me. (WOAH. Gay Baekhyun is on.) And i hate when he's a Park F*cking Jerk Chanyeol. And sometimes i'm the one getting hurt in the end. And even making him choose Kyungsoo over me?! OVER ME?! Are you guys serious?!

So yes. I am reading ChanBaek fics. Sometimes in Asianfanfics.com. Do you know that site?

BTW, thanks to those writing them. You guys are pretty great. ;)

Phew. Last question! Question number 10: What can you say to all ChanBaek haters and shippers?

To the haters, well, ok. Haters gonna hate anyway, so what can i do with you guys? just do what you want. but leave me and Chanyeol out of it.

To the shippers, well, i am writing this secret letter for each and everyone of you. I just hope i answered your questions well enough and i swear, i thought hard for this.

Just continue to believe in what you think is real. Cause it might be.

So right now, i can hear Chanyeol downstairs already. He's talking with Suho. I might as well end this letter now before he even sees it because he'll tease me to death, i know.

Wait. He's calling my name.

And oh. Did i hear him right? He bought me a cake.

Lol. That's adorable. And sweet.

(Haha. I am practically blushing this is stupid.)

So good bye guys. Enjoy your day.

Remember that i love you all.

Sincerely,

Byun Baekhyun

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This is a three-part story.

I'll update as soon as i can. ;)

Thank you for reading! MUA!

Godbless! xoxo~