January 1977.
❝ but right now I feel stable ❞

          ℑmogen Seagrave stood at the edge of platform nine and three quarters, the air was cool, carrying a sense of hope and unspoken freedom. Imogen was free—free from winter break with her family—a time when she never truly belonged. Christmas with her family was never the season of joy it was supposed to be; it was a time when Imogen felt trapped, locked behind a door when the key was out of reach. Imogen's holidays were always full of uncomfortable conversations about blood purity and harsh opinions about those with a less-than-perfect blood status. It made Imogen want to run, escape to a place where those opinions couldn't follow.

          Christmas of 1976 had been one of the hardest. Imogen, as always, was stuck in a house full of the same tensions and the usual harsh expectations. The war was brewing, and her family had been stricter and more aggressive when it came to enforcing their opinions. Imogen's parents, Kallista and Vincent, had been pushing for her and her brother, Callum, to prove their loyalty, their expectations were suffocating, leaving Imogen with no choice but to lie about her own thoughts. Going back to Hogwarts felt like she was being unleashed from her parents' harsh grip, like Imogen finally had some sort of control.

          Though, no matter what she did, Imogen had always felt like a disappointment to her parents, especially when it came to the people she hung out with. To Kallista and Vincent, Imogen's friendships were more than a 'poor choice.' They were a threat to the Seagrave image—the image they had worked so hard to protect. Her closest friends were what her parents called 'blood traitors' or people with 'dirty blood'— not that Imogen saw them that way.

          A 'blood traitor', Sirius Black was Imogen's closest friend, one she had known since before Hogwarts. The two had once been on the same sinking boat, both their families tried to steer their lives in directions they didn't want it to go. Though Sirius had abandoned the boat long ago, breaking free from his parents. Imogen often wished she could do the same, her mind always full of ways it could end up, though she knew she would never leave her older brother behind.

          The Seagrave girl clutched her trunk like her life depended on it, feeling a cold breeze of air against her face. Her hair was a mess, but she couldn't care less. Her trunk was stuffed with useless things, most of which she didn't even need—Imogen was quite the overpacker. With anticipation, she awaited the Hogwarts Express. Within her friend group, she had the role of claiming a compartment while the marauders—the four boys she tended to hang out with—were nowhere to be seen. Knowing them, they were probably fooling around without a care in the world. To them, nothing else mattered.

          The station was packed with students, a mix of uniform and casual clothes. Much to her parents' disapproval, Imogen decided to choose comfort over style and had worn her own clothes, deciding she would get changed on the journey to Hogwarts. Imogen could spot the scarlet train in the distance as it emerged from the mist of smoke. Its engine hissed as it slowed at the station. Students flooded the platform, shoving and moving like a restless sea crashing against rocks.

          "Imogen!" a voice called out from the crowd. The students continued to push and shove— not that the chaos mattered to Imogen; she was at the front and would definitely be one of the first on the train. The voice belonged to James Potter. He pushed through the crowd with grace, joining Imogen as she stepped off the platform.

          James and Imogen knew each other like the back of their hands. Even when he annoyed the crap out of her, James always knew what she needed before she said a word. Behind James came Peter Pettigrew, a larger, more mousier boy who was enjoying a large bar of chocolate, although at times Peter was stupid, he was one of Imogen's closest friends.

           Despite the two boys being another example what Kallista and Vincent Seagrave considered to be 'blood traitors,' Imogen wouldn't know Hogwarts—or life—without them. The three, joined by Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, became friends on the train in their first year and have remained friends ever since. Of course, Imogen had made her own friends outside of the four boys, but she would always cherish the memories with them for as long as time allowed.

          Imogen turned to the two boys with a smile, brushing her messy—newly dyed—blonde hair out of her face. The cool breeze had softened into a gentle whisper as they stood on the train just outside the first compartment they had found. Students pushed past them in all different directions, rushing forward like a flood. It was a war they had to fight and all for a private compartment.

          "How are you always so early?" James questioned as he opened the door to find the compartment empty. Immediately, he claimed the spot by the window, stretching his legs out along the seat.

          "I dunno, I suppose my parents just like me here early, but what would you do if I wasn't?" Imogen scoffed, thinking back to an old memory of the one time she wasn't early in their 3rd year. Her mother had delayed her, and Imogen had ended up at the back of the crowd, lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces. Much to James' disappointment, they ended up having to share a compartment with Severus Snape and his perfectionist best friend, Aubrey Evergreen. The atmosphere of the compartment was tense, like thin ice that could crack at any moment.

Peter was the next person to enter the compartment. The first thing he did was shove James' feet out of the way, making room for himself. The boy glanced back at Imogen, who remained outside the compartment so Remus and Sirius could easily locate them.

"You changed your hair, I like it" Peter pointed out. Right before Christmas, Imogen had gone behind her parents' back and dyed her hair blonde. It was far from the expectations the Seagraves had set, though the girl didn't care; she felt like herself, and to Imogen, it felt freeing to know her mother didn't agree.

"Thanks." Imogen smiled, playing with it to show it off.

The girl didn't know what else to say. Her mother's screams from the night she did it still played in her mind like a loop that wouldn't ever stop. "Anyways, how was your Christmas?" she asked. Both boys glanced at each other. They knew why she was changing the subject. It was her usual move when it came to anything about her parents or life back home.

Peter shrugged, a simple gesture to show that there wasn't much to be said. Although it didn't seem like it, the Pettigrew family was quite wealthy and tended to go overseas every break. Peter didn't really like to brag, so there were times his friends weren't even aware when he went away, though this break, he was unusually quiet. "We didn't go anywhere. Mum was worried about the war, she didn't want to risk it," he explained, leaving a heavy silence between the three. War. Everything was always about war.

Before Imogen could reply, a voice came from behind her. "Oh your hair, Immy!" it whispered in her ear. Imogen didn't hesitate to turn her head around, her hair flicking in Sirius Black's face. His grey eyes were as bright as usual, filled with the same old look of mischief and his hair was pretty much the same—though it had grown a bit—it was long and messy, sitting just above his shoulders.

"Why thank you." She smiled, opening the door so Sirius could enter. Remus Lupin followed right behind. Remus was what Imogen's parents called 'dirty blood' not because of the fact he was a werewolf—they would kill her if they knew she was friends with a werewolf—it was because of the fact his father was a wizard while his mother was a muggle. He was a half-blood, and Kallista and Vincent Seagrave found it disgusting.

"How were your holidays?" she asked for what felt like the hundredth time that day, closing the door behind her as she took the last seat between Remus and Sirius.

Sirius smiled. Christmas of 1976 was the first year he had spent the holiday with a welcoming family, the Potter's kindness had provided Sirius the light he needed in the darkness. The boy finally had found the feeling of warmth and joy that Christmas brought. Sirius used to have to deal with the harsh and violent punishments his mother had inflicted on him. He was the hier of his family, so his whole life was about the Black family expectations—expectations he would never be able to fulfil.

"Pretty good." He smiled, shuffling along the seat to bring himself closer to Imogen. Without hesitation, he swung his arm around her shoulder, bringing her into a hug. "How were your holidays?" Sirius asked.

"Fine," Imogen spoke softly under her breath. Deep down, she missed how things were before Sirius had run away. She would always be able to talk to the boy about anything, though Sirius had found a loving home, away from the stress of that—Imogen didn't want to burden him with her issues. Sirius, of course, understood that things weren't fine, so he didn't push it; he kept quiet and allowed the silence to fall over the group as the train finally set off for Hogwarts.

After the silence had drawn out between the group for far too long, James decided it was time to speak up, his voice as loud as ever. "And now, another semester of brilliance begins," he declared. "I've got so many plans for this year, it's gonna be incredible," he added with excitement.

  Imogen couldn't help but roll her eyes. As entertaining as it was listening to the marauders plan their mischief, sometimes she just thought they were as reckless as someone who left a potion unattended—this was one of those times. "Oh, and we need girlfriends, let's be more social, let's throw parties like my parents did for the new year," he added again, a large smirk spreading across his face, impossible for Imogen to ignore.

The girl let out a small sigh. She knew it was just about the time when the marauders would be all girl crazy. She had been bracing herself for it for months, knowing it was bound to happen at some point.

"But don't worry, moony, we won't let anything interfere with your perfect duties," Sirius teased Remus with a soft laugh, sending him a wink that promised nothing but trouble. On Remus' robes ( which he had arrived wearing ) was a gold pin, the word 'prefect' displayed on it. Imogen had also considered applying for the prefect role, but the idea of taking that away from her friend Lily Evans made her feel off—Lily was far more deserving of it.

Lily came from a muggle family, being another example of what Imogen's parents had considered 'dirty blood.' The redhead didn't know anything about magic or Hogwarts until she had received her letter. Of course, there had been things in her life that were out of the ordinary— strange things that happened that she couldn't explain, but despite everything, it was still a surprise when she found out. James Potter had been head over heels in love with Lily since the moment he first set eyes on her. With her perfect grades and adorable red hair, Lily was the only girl James ever wanted.

It was similar for Remus Lupin and Anaya Hassim. Although the two had no reason to talk, they shared classes and, on rare occasions, exchanged a few words. Just looking at the girl made Remus' stomach flutter with butterflies. Remus always got all flustered, being too caught up with how Anaya's gorgeous hair framed her face perfectly or the way her laughter seemed to echo like music. It was quite obvious Remus had a crush on the Slytherin girl, though most of the time, he tried to avoid her to avoid embarrassing himself.

Remus smiled to himself, readjusting so he could be more comfortable in his part of the seat. "I seriously doubt that," he said with a small smile. Though the boy was too busy looking through his bag, sifting through items like a detective looking for something important, he eventually pulled out a muggle book along with a small bar of chocolate.

After the group's quick talk of the break and plans for the semester, they usually ended up in silence, Remus would read peacefully, James would stare out the window, unable to sit still, Peter would sleep while Sirius and Imogen did whatever they wanted. Sometimes, there were small conversations about quidditch or past memories, though the train ride was usually full of silence, which was a rare thing for the marauders.

After what felt like hours, the knot in Imogen's stomach started to loosen as she left the stress of the holidays back at kings cross station and the rest of the journey to Hogwarts remained silent. Imogen watched as the hills raced past the window in a green blur. It wasn't until the sky was dark and the train started to get close to the school that Remus looked up from his book.

"What were your new years resolutions?" he asked calmly, glancing around the compartment as everyone looked at him. The other four had gotten changed in their robes— the five of them were all Gryffindor, so their ties were coloured red and gold like a lion's mane.

James sat up in excitement. The five of them always had a tradition where they shared their resolutions for the new year before going back to school. "Same as last year, win the house cup and convince Evans to go out with me." James explained. A satisfied smirk settled on his lips as he sat back down with confidence.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh at the boy. Of course, it was a known fact that James liked Lily—almost the whole school knew it. Unlike James, who let secrets slip like sand between his fingers, Lily was better at keeping a secret, guarding them like her life depended on it. It was only Lily's closest friends—including Imogen—who knew that she did actually like the Potter boy back. They too had to guard her secret like it was a treasure locked in a vault. "You've been trying for five years mate, you can always hope— maybe this year she'll come to her senses." He comforted the boy.

          The Seagrave girl snorted, from what she had heard Lily say, that seemed highly unlikely "Or maybe she'll hex you again." Imogen added. If she let anything slip about Lily's feelings towards James, she was sure Lily would curse her, not James. Although Lily Evans seemed like a lovely girl, the redhead had quite the temper, not scared to snap at whoever deserved it.

          GThe group continued to chat and talk, sharing their new years goals and resolutions as the train's engine hissed, signaling they were reaching Hogsmeade station. Imogen felt her stomach flutter with intense excitement. No matter how many times she stepped off that train, she always felt the same way, eager for the semester to begin, excited to stuff her face with food at the feast, and of course, ready to spend every moment she could with her friends at the castle.

          The five students made their way up to the castle, taking in the breathtaking view. No matter the amount of times they looked at it, the sight of the castle always seemed to stir something deep inside them. Each student was feeling the same way they did the first time they saw it. The magic of that memory would never fade. It was still fresh in Imogen's mind from back in first year when she had never seen anything like it. That beauty would never grow old. Although being quite wealthy, Imogen's parents never took her out like Peter's did; she was sure the boy had seen something like it on his travels.

          The ground was thick with snow, sending a harsh chill through Imogen's bones. Imogen absolutely despised the cold, though in that moment, she couldn't care less. Her eyes were still locked on the castle above as the group's carriage made its way to the school. The light of the castle cast a bewitching glow on the students and the grounds, the stone walls towered over them as stars flickered behind it.

          Imogen found herself willing to give anything so she could be able to look at the view everyday of her life.

          After what felt like forever in the painful cold of the night, the students rushed into the great hall, a stampede of anticipation and excitement. Each and every student was met with the warmth of the school and, of course, the smell of the welcome back feast—something Imogen had been waiting all holiday for.

          As always, the hall was arranged with the usual four long tables—one for each of the four houses. Some students already filled those tables, talking and chatting as they awaited the rest of the school; those were the people who stayed at Hogwarts for the Christmas break. Those few students included one of Imogen's friends, Marlene McKinnon.

          Marlene was yet another friend Imogen's parents considered to be a blood traitor. Just like Sirius and James, Marlene's blood was 'pure,' though just like the two boys and Imogen, Marlene thought past opinions on blood purity and said fuck it— she would be friends with whoever she wanted! The McKinnon girl had platinum blonde hair, so it was easy for Imogen to spot her seated in the middle of the Gryffindor table.

          Her other friends, Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald, were seated opposite her—they must've gotten an earlier carriage. Marlene turned her head, scanning the room to find their missing friend, a bright smile forming as she spotted Imogen.

          Imogen rushed over to the girl, leaving the four boys behind. Marlene stood up, bringing Imogen into a tight hug. Sometimes Marlene McKinnon seemed like an absolute bitch, though Imogen knew better than anyone that Marlene cared. She always worried when Imogen went home for breaks; she always took the time to make sure the Seagrave girl was okay.

          "Finally!" was the first thing Marlene exclaimed as she pulled away from the hug, sitting back in her seat. Imogen didn't hesitate to take the spot next to her, giving her other friends a small smile. "Your hair!" was the next thing Marlene let out, observing the girl's new look.

          Naturally, Imogen's hair was a darker brunette colour. Sirius always said he loved her natural hair—though Imogen hated it. "Gosh I thought you had been like killed or gotten frozen out there," Marlene spoke. Imogen couldn't help but let out a small laugh—a genuine laugh—not something she had to fake for a family dinner.

          The hall was filling up fast. Further down the table, the marauders had settled themselves in. Imogen could feel her stomach once again flutter with butterflies as she caught Sirius' eye— that meant nothing! "Yep I almost froze to death!" Imogen joked, watching as Sirius turned back to his friends. "So how was your break?" Imogen asked "As much as I want to, I don't understand how you can spend it here,"

          Marlene rolled her eyes. "It's the same old Hogwarts— without the classes, obviously. Practiced a bit of quidditch with Joe. How about you? Did you get my letters?" Marlene replied. Joe Henderson was a Hufflepuff in their year level. Marlene had been head over heels for the girl since Christmas break the previous year, though no one knew if the Hufflepuff girl felt the same way for Marlene.

Imogen sighed. "Don't even ask. Family was the usual. Ma was furious about my hair, she took most of my letters. At least there weren't any physical punishments, just a lot of screaming," she confessed. Imogen always knew that Marlene could keep a secret, so she always opened up to the girl whenever she could.

The Seagrave girl looked forward, spotting Mary and Lily, who were mid-conversation, giggling over something silly. Imogen couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief as she realised they weren't listening. As much as she loved the two girls, Mary was an open book, her pages on display for everyone to read—she was hopeless at keeping secrets! As for Lily, she too was horrible at keeping secrets, though only when it came to Mary. If Imogen were to tell Lily something, Mary would find out from the redhead in a heartbeat.

Before they could continue their conversation, Dumbledore's voice boomed over the loud chatter. Imogen only rolled her eyes. When was this old man going to shut up? Every year, Imogen sat there listening to him talk about the most useless things ever, and it drove her insane. Imogen Seagrave was not a girl that hated others, though when it came to their Headmaster, she hated absolutely everything about him— his annoying tone, his speeches, his ugly outfits and, of course, the way he didn't care about anyone but himself.

After what felt like forever, Dumbledore had finished his speech, signalling that the feast had begun. Before Imogen could start a conversation, Mary immediately jumped into a holiday recap—something she did every year. Mary's favourite thing was always sharing. She was horrible at keeping any information to herself, and would always share every aspect of her life. Imogen could never argue because that's always been how Mary was—and a lot of the time, it was useful.

From what Mary shared, it seemed like she had done something new every single day of the holidays—snowboarding, making cookies, building snowmen and more. Imogen had never spent Christmas break in the way Mary did. It was always spent trapped in the suffocating walls of her house—a place where her freedom was locked behind a closed door. Imogen did have an old memory of a time she made snow angels with her brother, but that was a one-time thing, a single spark of freedom that was followed by nothing but anger and screams from their parents.

"So, do you think you'll finally go out with James? He really likes you, Lils," Mary inquired, asking the question they all needed an answer to.

"Fat chance," Lily muttered under her breath, taking a sip of the pumpkin juice the welcome feast had to offer. Imogen could see the faint smile forming on the corner of Lily's lips. They all knew she liked him back, though the thing about Lily was that she had never been in a relationship, and going into one with someone who was utterly in love with her—that was horrifying for Lily.

The rest of the evening, the three girls listened to Mary talk. Whether it was gossip or random stories, Mary shared it all. Imogen felt at home. Finally, she was able to be happy without being punished. She didn't have to worry about blood purity or the war. It was just Imogen and her friends. Nothing else mattered.

Everything was peaceful, everything was stable.

( maeve yaps ! )

I'm a huge yapper but I'll try to keep these notes shorter, this is the prologue— super long I'm sorry. I'm so proud of this and a MEGA thank you to Riri ( eluxcastar ) for editing this for me— she is amazing so give her a follow 🙏

gif by penny / pemberlies !