My first kiss was technically when I was five. I was in kindergarden, and we were learning about the pilgrims in Mrs. Ruess's class. She had set up a "log cabin" in the corner of the room, and during free time we were allowed to go inside of it, two at a time. When it was my turn, I went in with Charles Cartman. Charles Cartman planted one on me, and then Matthew McDonald stuck his head inside to tell us to hurry up because it was his turn next. He saw Charles kiss me, and he told on us. Mrs. Ruess made us sit in time-out and sent a note home with our parents.

This kiss was not in a log cabin, and it was nothing like that first one.