Day 1 : I have been doing self harm for 3 years now...

i started because I fell depressed and those -_- emotions.... because of my father, and court stuff/ custody

day 2: umm, gonna sound cliche, but my wrists, and my sides

day 3: my motivation to recover is my baby sister... she's two, and she adores me... i don't want her growing up asking "where's my sissy?"

day 4: i mean..... somewhat.... i cut at least once a month, but that's because of how i feel at that time.... i wouldn't necessarily say yes, but i also wouldn't say no....

day 5:ummm, the part i dislike the most about it isssss... even though i do it to myself, i don't think anybody ( unless that person purposely hurts an animal) deserves to hate themselves that much....

day 6: my "favorite" part would bbeeee... it helps me take my mind off of what happened to make me that depressed... if it makes sense, i like the burn/sting it makes, or how the blood pools and falls

day 7: 10 activities to calm me down

a cold bath with ice cubes ( it numbs)

drawing

crying

watch anime ;3

uhhhh, talking on wattpad

reading webtoons

watching videos

yeah, can't think of 10....

day 8: the most important thing someone has said to me about self cutting.... no-one has really said anything about it to me...

day 9: uh, no, i haven't taken pictures of my cuts.... i actually try NOT to talk about my cuts... that's why i'm doing this... i only talk/show about it with my close friends.. ummm... here? i know it's not super much, but i cut them deep...

day 10: how do i feel about my scars??  every one of my scars is a story i wish i could forget... but because of my actions, i'll never be able to forget them... that's why they're scars...

day 11: strangest place i've ever injured myself isssss, actually school, i was hiding in the bathroom.....

day 12: place i hide my "tools" i keep my knife by my bed, another knife in the barn, scissors in my art stuff ( by my bed) another pair of scissors in my drawer/ nightstand

day 13: biggest relization about self harm... it's not just teens that hurt themselves... parents/ adults, 8 year olds, everyone does.... we think we are the only ones that deserve what we are doing....the more you cut, the more you get closer to meeting death....

day 14: uhh, i already answered, my sister

day 15: do you visit any websites about self harm? haahah, i mean, i looked up how to hide scars on WikiHow... a long time ago i was doing research and here...   https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/features/cutting-self-harm-signs-treatment#1

https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/self-injury/10-ways-people-self-harm-self-injure

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/cutting-and-self-harm.htm

day 16: uhhhh, don't do it... though some of the articles above say cutting isn't an attempt at suicide... mine is, soooo, THEY LIE!!! but, the higher up the cuts get, the closer it gets to death, i'm being serious... i almost killed myself by slicing my throat... i also cut really deep, and lost a ton of blood...... it was MY pov.. bu please try not to do it... it's not always worth it, if you have kids later on in life, and they ask yu about the scars on your body.... what are you going to say?

day 17: yes, yes i do my best friend alex/ lance cuts him/her/theirself (she's also genderqueer) and 

NightFURY___  GIVE THIS CHILD SOME LOVE

firefoxloaFf GIVE MAH SPAGURT LOVING SPOODER SOME LOVE TOOO!!!

anddddd   sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many more!!

in fact, almost all my friends on wattpad are depressed, LGBTQ+ 'community'(i hate labels so that's why i put parenthasis around community), likes anime, or musicals XD

Day 18: uhhhh, i think this is my letter XD okie

"Dear Casey Harber,

YOU SUCK! i'm just kidding... ummm, i don't know what to put, congratulations if you 'got over' your depression.... put a shit ton of makeup on your scars if you don't want them to show....

yeah, bye"

day 19: 5 reasons why recovery is worth it..

1) you never know what the future holds ( such as the love of your life)

2) yeah, i got nothing else

day 20: the most vivid memory.... i can remember each and every time...  my most recent               * cough, three days ago* was when i took the knife from my barn and sliced my side, and i also perfectly aligned 2 cuts on my palm...

imma do the next 10 in the next part