"I told you I did not want her in this house!" Millie threw her empty glass across the room at Adam. He ducked. The glass smashed and scattered across the floor.

Jessica didn't want to watch this display of drunken behaviour from the woman she had once considered her best friend. In a way she understood and didn't know how she would react if Louis had moved Rachel and all her belongings into the bedchamber beside his as Adam had done to her. She had insisted on returning to her old bedroom on the floor above but he'd said she needed to be close in case she went into labour.

Millie threw another glass. Adam dodged the tumbler and strode toward her. "Perhaps it is you I should move into the gatehouse!" he yelled as he forced her into a chair. "She will live in this house with my children!" He pointed behind him as he glared down at his wife. "And you shall behave yourself. You were once friends if you remember!"

Jessica watched tears roll down Millie's face. Her heart went out to her. To be so in love with him and yet so rejected. Jessica wondered what had gone wrong. She hadn't seen Millie since leaving school and she certainly hadn't known Millie and Adam had been in a tryst until the night they had framed her. Whose idea was that? Had Millie gone along with his plan or had she manipulated him? In past fights she had listened to them have, when coming to the big house to collect supplies from cook, she had heard Adam ask for a divorce but Millie had refused. Jessica wondered why. She had family, money and support. The means Jessica herself wished she had. She couldn't sit back and watch the two in their private war any longer so she stood and moved quietly to the door.

"Jessica! Sit down!"

She hesitated for a moment in thought with her hand on the knob. Jessica took a breath and stepped out through the door. She closed it behind her and ran down the hall. She felt sure he would come after her. Perhaps he would beat her for not obeying him. He might even do her the honour of killing her so she would no longer have to live with the ache of regret and loneliness that was buried in her heart. As she slowed to a walk, she realised that as yet Adam had not hit her. In fact, she hadn't seen him hit Millie but the memory of him striking her the night he took her to the old rookery was still fresh in her mind. Hannah had said he'd changed and she herself had certainly witnessed this but he still intimidated her with his threats.

He didn't follow her. She reached the garden, wiped her eyes and walked to the graves of the people she loved. Her father and mother. The mother she never knew. Jessica walked between the stones towards Edna's, her stepmother's grave. Adam's mother. Jessica wondered who his father had been. What sort of man was he? Edna had been a drunk. Jessica discovered this a long time ago, but her father tried to conceal it. She suspected that was why Adam had never lived with them. Perhaps he'd had enough of taking care of Edna and when Jessica's father married her, Adam was no longer needed and decided to stay away. Her father then sent her away to boarding school. Jessica was sure Edna's drinking had something to do with his decision. She thought about Millie. It seemed she was taking the same path as Edna. Perhaps this was why Adam despised her so much.

She sat in the shade of one of the trees and thought of Mary and Alice. Jessica smiled when she thought of Robert. He would have had his first birthday by now. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop her tears as memories of Louis flooded her mind. Was he happy? Would he and Rachel's child be born? Jessica rubbed her stomach. If she had known she was pregnant, she would never have left to come back to this life. She would have swallowed her pride and stayed. Had become his mistress and have loved him, as she still loved him. Jessica lay on the grass under the tree and looked up to the sky. She imagined Louis was with her and smiled. He would touch her face, kiss her gently and tell her he would never leave. She could see his hair as it hung into his clear blue eyes; thick and soft. His arms hard and strong; his lips warm and tender. Tears flooded her eyes and poured down her face. Jessica cried for her empty soul knowing she would never know that kind of love ever again.

*****

She had been at the Hall for a week when her pains began. It was dark and she had no idea what time it was. Jessica struggled to get up from the bed. Pain like she had never felt before seized her stomach. She must have wet herself. Her nightdress was saturated. A puddle of water pooled at her feet. Fear gripped her. Hannah wasn't here to help her understand what was happening to her body though she realised her baby's birth had begun. When the next pain caught her she cried out and staggered to the door. She made her way down the hall holding onto the wall for support.

"Do not worry girl, ye are not the first and ye won't be the last to 'ave a baby. Breathe slowly girl, breathe deep!"

At the onset of her third pain, Jessica bit on her lip as she groaned. Once she got her breath back she shouted, "Adam!" She heard movement in his room and waited for the door to open.

He stood stunned in his trousers holding a candle. "What is it?"

"My...baby." Jessica held her hand out toward him. "It's...my baby."

Adam put his candle on the hall table and scooped her up. She put her arms around his neck as he carried her back to bed.

Once he'd laid her on the covers, he lit the lamp and pulled the servant's bell. He knelt beside the bed, and then took Jessica's hand in his with a smile on his face. "You'll be fine, Jessica. Don't worry, by the end of your pain there will be another life."

Jessica smiled uncertainly back at him as he stroked her cheek with his finger.

He stood when a knock sounded on the door and called, "Come!"

Jane dressed in her nightclothes and cap stood in the opened doorway. "You rang, My Lord?"

"Yes. Lady Jessica's time has come. I'll send cook up to help you and I expect to be kept informed."

"Oh!" Jane rushed to the bed. "Certainly, My Lord." Jane beamed down at Jessica. "What a grand day this will be. You will make a beautiful mother, My Lady."

When Adam left the room Jane helped Jessica undress. She told Jessica in gentle tones of what she should expect to happen. "Don't worry. Cook and I have helped deliver quite a few babies." She swept her hand up over Jessica's forehead and into her hair. "Cook has had four children of her own so she can tell you better than me of it completely. Everything will be fine. You're very healthy."

Jessica smiled up at her, grateful that Jane was with her. At the sound of the door opening, she looked over to see the tall thin figure of Cook holding cloths and a bucket of water with a big grin on her face as she said, "Well, Miss Jessica. Let's bring this child into the world, shall we?"

Her labour was long and hard. Jane stayed close, rubbing her back and sponging her forehead. She sang to her, comforted, and encouraged Jessica when she felt she could no longer carry on while cook handled the rest.

At noon, Jane knocked on the study door and opened it when she heard Lord Loxton tell her to enter. Samuel was on the rug playing with blocks, baby Jack laid on his tummy with his head lifted watching his brother intently. Jane looked from the children to where her master sat behind his desk. She curtsied. "My Lord. The child has been born."

"And?" He stood up giving her an expectant look as made his way around the desk.

Jane beamed. "Tis a girl, My Lord." She watched his face light up like she'd never seen before. She wondered if he was the child's father.

"Are they both well?" he gushed as he stepped toward her.

"Yes. Miss Jessica is very tired. If you wanted to see them both, you should go now as she needs to sleep, My Lord."

"I would like that. Thank you, Jane. Please stay with the children until I come back."

Adam tapped lightly on the door and caught Jessica's eye as he came quietly into the room. He sat on the edge of the bed and caressed her face. "You have a daughter."

Jessica nodded and smiled at her baby snuggled against her. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" Adam whispered.

She could only shake her head in answer to him.

"Why are you crying?"

"I am sorry sir, it just came over me."

"You are safe here, and yes, I am sure that I am not always agreeable but I want you to be happy."

Adam leaned closer and pulled the blankets away from the baby so he could see her face. "She is beautiful," he said as he looked at her affectionately.

Jessica could see no malice on his face and his words sounded sincere. "I do not understand you," she murmured. "Often when I'm near you, all I feel is fear, and at other times you show me so much tenderness. Why are you as you are?"

He looked away from her intense stare as he drew in a long slow breath. Then he lay on the bed beside her. Adam placed his arm protectively over her and the baby. "I know when you fear me. Something clouds me when I feel most tormented by your rejection of me. A furnace rages in the pit of my stomach. I'm trying to be a better person. I'm trying to understand you but often my own wants control me. At the moment I feel bonded to you. I have an almighty urge to protect and care for you. As you are now, and on the night, Hannah died you have no fear of me so I feed on this and it soothes my tormented soul."

"Adam you must...."

He placed his fingers on her lips. "Shh...." Adam stared into her eyes. "You were twelve, a child, when we first met. I, eighteen, a man. When I saw you next, it was at my mother's funeral. You were seventeen, a woman. I fell in love with that woman but you could never see me as a man, only as your cousin. I have always felt rejected by you and because of that I became bitter. Still, I am bitter." He paused and when he spoke, again his tone became harsher. "I am sorry for my bitterness but while you continue to reject me, I don't think it will ever leave me."

Jessica bit her bottom lip. "I'm sorry."

Adam touched her lips with his fingers and kissed the tears from eyes. "This man. The father of your child. Do you love him?"

"Yes." Jessica nodded.

"You must forget him." He gently brushed hair from her forehead. "You will forever live in misery if you carry his memory within you. There is a reason you have returned to me. It is fated. I am your child's father now and when you are well, we will get to know each other better. We will become a proper family. You shall conceive a child of mine. This child will be the link to bond us all."

Jessica started to shake her head, to speak, but he stopped her.

"We need each other, Jessica. The child's father will never come looking for you. Millie has always been a wretched wife and she will divorce me eventually. I promise to love this little girl as my own; to take care of you both, as a husband and father. This is what I desire, what I have always wanted. I will no longer take no for an answer." He put his lips to hers. Jessica pulled her face away. Adam kissed her cheek and whispered, "As you wish for now." He stood and left her in tears. 

Copyright © 2019 Donna Fieldhouse. All rights reserved.

It's a girl!!!!! ♥♥♥

Perhaps when she grows up she might marry Robert, Samuel or Jack. What do you think?  xoxo

Is Adam a really bad man or is he just desperately in love with Jessica?

Is it the era that dictates his outlook?

He does have some points. They have no idea if Louis will come looking for her.  Adam would be a better option than living on the streets and prostituting herself, surely??

Thanks again for reading, voting and commenting. Your support means so much to me and this book. ♥♥♥