– One week later –

Wednesday, August 18th, 2021.

4 am.

The sound of my phone ringing wakes me up, taking me out of a restful sleep. I reach out for it and see Jungkook's name on the screen. He has not called in days. My heart races as I answer the call.

"Jungkook?" I struggle to say his name, still half asleep. "Y/n..." he responds in a slow, groggy voice. "I need...Can you come? Please..."

It is four in the morning, I still go to work, unlike him, so I need to wake up in three hours, but I cannot say no to him.

"What's wrong? Are you not feeling good?" I sit up on my bed but keep my blanket over me, doing one step at a time. "I...No...I miss you..." his voice cracks over the phone as I can hear the tears in his voice. "I don't know what to do anymore..."

I do not find the right words to say, so I simply listen. He is drunk again, so he probably means what he is saying.

"I know I messed up...I did something wrong, and I shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm sorry," he said, stumbling over his words. "I need to hold you in my arms..."

"I miss you too, Jungkook," I reply, my heart aching with longing. "Can you come here? I need to see you."

"Yeah," I stand up and take the first clothes I see, making myself quiet in the house. "Have you drunk or taken pills?"

"Yeah...I'm sorry...I'm in so much pain, I can't- I can't...I don't even know," he barely makes sense. I can tell he is in a bad state. His voice is trembling, he is crying, and his words are slurred. "You didn't mix them together, right?" I lower my voice as I walk out of my room.

"I...I can't remember..." he says, not reassuring me at all. I am so worried. "I'm coming, just stay on the phone with me," I rush outside and do not hang up the phone to call an Uber, I walk as fast as possible to his house. "How are you feeling? Physically? Is your heart beating fast? Are you feeling sick?"

"Uhm...I don't know...My heart's beating fast, but like usual...And I'm feeling a bit nauseous, but I haven't eaten much these days," he replies, showing bad signs of a potential overdose. "How is your breathing? Is it slow or fast? Normal?"

"It's normal...I think, I can breathe, I'm just struggling a little because I've been crying a lot," he admits. "But...no...wait...I," he struggles to finish his sentence, which is absolutely not normal. "I think...I didn't take pills. A friend...he gave me something...smoke. Yeah, I smoked or something, maybe sniffed. I can't remember what it was, baby, but I saw you here, then you were gone. At first I felt good, then...I was so scared and lost. I know I don't deserve you, but I need you to come back..."

This hurts me so much to see him like this. This is heartbreaking.

"I'll be here in a few minutes. I promise," I remain as calm as possible. "Do you hate me...?" he sobs, his voice quivering. "No, I don't hate you. Jungkook...I need to know if you drank and consumed that drug at the same time."

"I...no...I don't think I did. I drank last night- I mean, this morning, and...and then...Yeah, no. I just took that, and I drank Coke," he does his best, his voice trailing off as he tried to recall the events. "Coke? Like, Cola or the other kind of Coke?"

"No, Cola...I hate Coke...It-I get panic attacks when I tried..." he stutters, exposing the fact he tried that type of drug. "Okay...How are feeling right now? Are you still feeling sick?"

"I'm hot...I'm sweating a lot...a-and there's...it's so loud. I'm craving you...I don't know how to explain y/n, I'm sorry," he breathes out. "I can't stop thinking about you. It's not enough anymore...you keep leaving."

"What do you mean I keep leaving?" I never put an end to our conversation, keeping him awake and conscious. "I...when you're near me. When I take that candy...I see you. I can hear you, feel and touch you...and it feels so good, b-but then..." he pauses. "Then you're gone, baby...every time."

I have no idea what kind of drug he took, but this has to be the most intense trip I have ever heard him go through before.

"Jungkook, it's just in your head. We haven't seen each other in a week. I don't know who gave you that 'candy', but you need to stop taking it because it's hurting you," I try to explain to him, getting closer to his house. "No, it's not...You're here. I can feel you. You're real when you're here," he claims, his voice full of desperation and longing.

This is really bad, I need to hurry.

15 minutes later...

As soon as I face the front door of his house, I unlock it and rush inside. I head upstairs, where he is, and walk into his bedroom without knocking on the door. He is sitting on the edge of his bed, shirtless. He looks up at me and stands up. "Y/n," he wraps his arms around my body and collapses onto me, pushing my body into the door out of lack of balance.

"Don't go, please," he whispers, his voice filled with desperation. His hands grip me tightly, begging me to stay. "I won't go. I promise," I hug him back but feel shocked by the blazing heat of his skin.

"You need to sit down and drink water," I urge him, his body unable to stay still.

"Y/n," he holds the back of my neck and stares into my eyes, his gaze seeming detached. He stares at me and touches my cheek, his movement making it seem like it is hard to discern my features. "I..." he bites his lips and tumbles on me, his hand landing on the door behind me. He cups my face and leans in to kiss me.

I close my eyes and surrender to the intimacy of the moment. I longed for his touch, his voice, his smell. I cannot control it. It is overwhelming and comforting all at once.

"I don't...I don't wanna let go..." he whispers, breathing hard. "You...Your touch..." he sighs against my lips and lowers his chin, his hand sliding under my crop top. He grabs me and pulls me in closer, and he kisses me again.

"No," I stop him, knowing this is not right. "Please. Sit down."

"You're gonna go if I move..." he refuses to listen, squeezing my waist. "No. I won't go. Look," I take his hand into mine, turn the air conditioning on to make sure he will not overheat, then slowly bring him to his bed. He drops his body on it and stares blankly at me. His hand going back to my exposed skin as I let go of his hand, I turn a lamp on to see a little more clearly, but once I set my eyes back on his, I realize his pupils are very dilated.

His eyes are puffy and red.

"Turn it off, please...It hurts," he leans forward to hide his face in my chest. I put us back in the dark and hold him tight. "I'm so sorry," he mumbles into my top, his voice barely above a whisper. "I never meant to hurt you."

"It's okay," I move and sit by his side, grabbing the bottle on his nightstand. Before making him drink it, I check and make sure this is not alcohol, and I hand it to him. "Drink. You must be dehydrated."

He shakes his head and nestles his head in my neck, sneaking his arms around my waist and touching my skin again. "Jungk-"

He pushes me down on the sheets and stares at me, rubbing his fingers over my stomach. "This...It feels different..."

"What?" I ask, worrying. "When...I touch you...it's- it feels..." he slips his hot hand under my top and traces circles on my bare skin. I heave my hand up to his face and comb his hair back gently. "You're high. Probably even drunk too. Just drink some water," I give him the bottle again, and this time, he does as asks but swallows everything quickly.

He leans over me, drops the empty bottle on the floor, but acts weird. He grips the edge of the bed, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. His body slightly tips over. "What's wrong?" I run my fingers through his hair. "Are you okay?"

"Yes..." he rests his head on my chest and nestles his face in the crook of my neck. "Are you sure I don't need to call an ambulance?"

"I'm okay...I feel better now," he gradually rubs his thumb more slowly over my ribs. "You make me feel good..." his lips brush my skin, his warmth breath tickling my neck. "You're still too hot, Jungkook. Your body needs to cool down, it isn't alright."

"I'm okay," he yawns, his body sticking to mine. "I"m sleepy, baby...but I'm scared you won't be here when I wake up..."

"I'll be here, I promise you," I reply, toying with his hair. He remains silent, slowly drifting off to sleep in my arms. He seems much calmer now, his heart is beating steadily. His body temperature and dilated pupils are the only things worrying me.

"I love you..." he whispers softly.

I have not heard those words in so long.

A faint smile grows on my face. "I love you too."

– Next day –

Thursday, August 19th, 2021.

6:30 am.

My alarm waking me up, I hurry to reach out for it and turn it off.

As soon as everything is silent again, I check up on Jungkook. He is still sleeping, his head resting on my stomach. I gently stroke his hair, missing the days when this would be a regular morning.

I know he will not want me close when he wakes up, but I still want to cherish this moment with him.

At the feeling of his body moving, my thoughts disappear. Hoping he does not wake up yet, I stare at him and remain quiet. He groans and wraps his arms around me, staying asleep. I just want this to never end.

25 minutes later...

Jungkook moving again and waking up, he heaves his head up from my chest and looks at me. "Y/n," he mumbles in a hoarse voice and hides his face back where it was. He sighs and sits up.

"I'm sorry. You called me and asked me to come. You were high and needed help..." I move up and gaze at him, hoping for him to understand and not get mad. He rubs his face and sets his regretful eyes on mine. "I'm..." he does not say much. "Thank you for being here, y/n, but you should go home," he leaves the bed. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this mess."

"I want to stay here...I miss you, and I know you do too, otherwise, you wouldn't have said it to me last night," I speak without doubting, and he turns around after picking up some clothes on the floor. "Y/n...I'm sorry," he apolgizes to me, looking into my eyes. "I'm so sorry for what I've done to you, for hurting you, and causing you so much pain. I never meant to hurt you, but it has to stop."

"No..." I feel the wave of sadness take over me again. "We can work this out. We can go more slowly to give you time to heal and-"

"No, baby- I...Y/n," he lowers his head and drops his clothes in the basket. "I can't stand to see you getting hurt like that because of me. You're the sweetest person I've ever met, you're...you're so precious, and loving, but I'm not a good person. I can't...You deserve much better."

I shake my head without saying a single word, disagreeing with him.

"Please, you know I'm right. I don't deserve your love. Staying with you and seeing the pain I cause you because I can't control my emotions and fears hurts me more than anything. I love you, I truly mean it, I wish I met you when I wasn't such an asshole, but I fuck it up every time. This won't work, and you know it..." he looks away and heads towards the door, but I go a little faster to stand before him and put my arms around him.

"I don't care how much you hurt me...I'll handle it until you get better. Breaking up with me will only make it worse and destroy me more than if you sometimes make mistakes..." I cannot let go. "No, y/n. Go home, please."

"I'm home," I glance up at him, crying my heart out. "You told me you'd always be here for me, and you know there's no way I can go live without you..." I struggle to breathe, desperately praying for this agonizing reality to be just a cruel nightmare. I know I should not do this, but it feels like I am dying. It terrifies me to think of living my life without hearing him tell me he loves me, without him holding me, kissing me, and making me feel safe and loved.

His eyes glisten as he lifts one hand up to my face and softly wipes away my tears. "I promise you'll be fine. You'll find someone better who'll make-"

"No, I won't. You don't understand how much I love you, Jungkook..." I make my embrace more snug around him, my heart racing. "I'll do everything you want me to. I won't talk to Matthew or Luca anymore if-"

"That's not what I want. Stop saying those types of words. This isn't how a good relationship works. Just listen to me," he cups my face with both hands and looks deep into my eyes full of tears. "It's gonna be okay," he softens his voice as I am breathing heavily and fast, my throat hurting from the tightness my grief causes. "I'll take care of myself so that you don't have to worry about me. I'll text you from time to time to let you know I'm doing alright."

I cannot hear his words anymore. I do not want to.

"Calm down, please. I hate seeing you in this state," he caresses my wet cheeks with his thumbs., the tears in his eyes ready to fall. "We can be friends if you don't want me as your girlfriend anymore..."

"We can't," he disagrees. "You know it's only going to make it harder. We won't be able to act like friends," he says the words I cannot accept as the truth. "I just need you to remember that you're the best girl I could ever have asked for. You've never done anything wrong, I've always been the one to make up some stuff and misunderstand, but you're the best girl. You helped me so much, you managed to make me happy-"

"Jungkook...Stop, please," I bury my face in his chest, and he tangles his fingers in my hair. He strokes my head and drops a kiss on it. "I'm sorry."

I do not speak but stay in his arms, knowing this might be the last time. He puts his arms around me and holds me tight.

"Are you gonna go to work or home?" he asks, waiting for my response. "I don't know...I don't care."

"Come on, give me your hands," he slides his bigger ones over my arms, so I listen and let him grab them. He only keeps one in his and intertwines our fingers, and he walks out of the room. I reluctantly follow him, feeling like my life is about to end.

I never experienced this feeling before. It is so horrible.

"I'm gonna ask Luca to come pick you up," he brings me to the kitchen and grabs his phone. "I'm still feeling drowsy and lightheaded, so I'd rather not drive," he puts his eyes on his phone screen, not letting go of my hand. He texts him, despite how cold it still is between them.

I stare at him without ever glancing away, not believing this is actually happening.

"He'll be here in a few minutes," he drops his phone on the counter and looks at me. He grazes the back of his empty hand over my cheek, and I cannot hold back from sobbing again. A faint, sorrowful smile spreads across his face, and he pulls me in a hug and holds both my hands.

I let my body melt into his arms, feeling the warmth and comfort of his embrace. None of us speak, knowing that words are not necessary in this moment of shared pain. I close my eyes and breathe in his familiar scent, this one I will maybe never smell again.

"Will you not work at the shop anymore?" I wipe my tears away. "I got fired. So, no."

"What?" I glance up at him, realizing the only opportunity of seeing him is now gone. "After what I've done last week, it's pretty understandable."

"But...I don't want to keep working there if you're not here," I say. "Luca will take good care of you. Thomas is gone, and Luciano is a good guy you can count on, so keep working hard to make me proud."

"I'm sorry about not telling you about what happened," I apologize about this as we did not have the chance to talk before. "It's okay. I know why you didn't say anything. I know Luca beat him up, but I'd have done worse if I knew about it when he still worked at the shop. I just wish I had been there to protect you."

"You couldn't have. Don't feel bad about it," I reassure him. His eyes softening, he rubs his thumbs over the back of my hands and gives me a small smile. We both stare at one another, his heart beating hard as mine is racing just as fast.

No words being said, he leans in and kisses me gently on the lips. Passion, sadness, and a sense of longing all mixing together in that one moment. He tenderly keeps going, his hands sliding away from mine to hold my waist, pulling me closer to him. I lose myself in this meaningful moment and kiss him like there is no tomorrow.

He wraps his arms around me without breaking the kiss, keeping it slow, loving, and full of love. A rush of emotions overwhelms me, and he slowly ends this intimate moment. I open my eyes to look at him, his gaze diving deep into mine. He whispers softly, "Just one last time..." before holding my face and crashing his lips right back against mine.

The sensation is bittersweet, knowing it will not happen again.

As I can feel through the kiss that he missed me, the doorbell rings and interrupts. I stop and open my eyes, but he pushes forward to not drift apart yet, savoring the moment before it is gone. He presses my body against his taller and warmer one, possessively grabbing my hips. He gives me one last long, lingering kiss before pulling away.

He gazes into my eyes in one of the loveliest way, and presses his lips against mine one more time. "You should go. Luca's here."

I shake my head, refusing to leave him, unable to bear the thought of parting from him.

He sighs and caresses my cheek. "Wait here," he says, before walking up to the front door. He opens it and faces Luca. The two exchange a few words before Luca nods and goes back to his car to wait for me.

Jungkook closes the door and moves up to the living room, heading towards one of the cabinets. Inside, he retrieves something and comes back to me. He hands me a small, velvet box. "I never had the opportunity or courage to give it to you for your birthday. I want you to wait and open it when you're home. Okay?"

"Why?" I ask, holding the box close to my heart. "Just wait till you're home. Promise?"

"Okay. I promise I'll wait," I give him my word, and he places his hand under my chin to press a kiss on my lips. "Come on, now. Don't make Luca wait."

I stay still in front of him for a few more seconds, and I put the box down. I reach out for the clasp of my small chain, and I take it off.

"Don't, please. Keep it," he refuses, but I insist, grabbing his hand to place the chain in it. "Y/n..."

I kiss him again. "I love you," I look into his eyes for the last time, his beautiful but sad ones fixed onto mine. "I love you too."

I get back hold of the box and walk to the front door. I grab the handle and turn around to look at him again, his expression breaking my heart into a million pieces. "Come on," he gulps down and clears his throat.

"Take care of yourself for me, okay?" I slightly open the door, and he nods, faking a smile. He breaks eye contact as I saw him give way to tears, and he pretends to be rubbing his lips and walks away.

Knowing this must be hurting him too, I leave and close the door behind me. I walk up to Luca's car, trying my hardest to empty my head, and believe there is a positive side to all of this. That it is meant to be that way for a better future.

I enter Luca's vehicle, taking a deep breath as I settle into the passenger seat. As I put my seatbelt on, he does not say a word but starts the engine and turns the radio down.

"Do you want to go to your house or work?" he asks as I cannot even look at him. "Work."

"Sure? You can take an a day off if you need," he says with concern in his voice. "Staying home alone will only make it worse."

"Alright," he does not press the issue further. He drives away from Jungkook's house.