He sent me six texts and called me twice. I am so scared.

< I'm pretty sure you've done well, don't be worried. I'll be proud of you no matter what ]

< what are doing now? Are you gonna study with Matt today too? ]

< you usually answer in a few minutes, is everything alright? ]

< baby? ]

< if I said or did something wrong tell me please but don't ignore. I wanna make sure you're safe ]

< y/n im begging you answer your phone pls I'm worried rn ]

I hurry to send a text before talking to Matthew. I messed up.

[ Jungkook I'm so sorry I was sleeping because I got my period and something happened at school, I didn't see your texts or calls I apologize, don't be mad please I didn't mean to >

"What did he send you?" I look at Matthew, my heart pounding into my chest as I cannot help but be worried about Jungkook. He must have had a panic attack, or he could be assuming some bad stuff if he knows I was with Matthew this whole time. "Look," he unlocks his phone and shows me the texts they both sent to each other.

< hey is y/n with you rn? ]

[ Hey, yes she is. Why? >

< She is? Then why tf is she not answering my texts or calls? ]

[ She's been sleeping for almost three hours because she got her period at school and she was in pain, but she's only at my house bcs I live five minutes from school and she had to get changed and get some pads so it was better for her. I didn't hear her phone ring sorry >

< tell her to check her phone ]

I heave a sigh and look at my phone again. I feel so bad, and I am so worried at the same time.

"I have to go to his house," I stand up and grab my pants but hear someone else open a door in the house, and I come across his brother. The one who betrayed Jungkook, so someone I do not want to be friends with.

"Hey," he talks to me, so I answer out of respect but head towards the front door. "Wait, do you want me to drive you there?" Matthew rises and follows me. "No, thank you, Matt. I'm sorry for sleeping for so long here—"

"No, don't apologize. My brother brought some pads by the way," he walks up to a plastic bag left on the coffee table and brings it to me. "Here, he also bought the cream you used earlier, I don't know if it helped."

"It did. Thank you," I take it but notice his brother looking at us from afar, so I turn around and put my shoes back on. "Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?" he keeps worrying, kindly, so I reassure him.

"Yes, thank you for what you did, Matt. That's really sweet of you. I'll see you next Monday," I tell him goodbye and head fast towards the bus stop, and I check my texts on the way but see that Jungkook has not answered me.

I know for sure he saw what I sent him, so I call him. I sit down at the bus stop since no one is here, but Jungkook does not answer.

The bus better be here soon.

'MATTHEW'S P.O.V'

"Are you really chasing after a girl that's taken?" my older brother cannot keep his mouth shut about it, but I send him packing. "It's none of your business," I walk back to the sofa and grab the empty bag of chips and the cream. "It's the girl who's with Jungkook, right?"

"Yes," I throw the trash out and go back to the bathroom to put the cream back where it was. "That's crazy to know he managed to get another girl to fall for his fucking lies."

"She's happy with him, so unless the opposite happens, I won't believe anything you say about him," I look up into his eyes and refuse to listen to what he tells me about him. "Ah yeah? She's so happy that she was fucking scared when she understood he could be upset. Did you even see the way she reacted?"

"It's because she knows he's jealous and scared that she could cheat on him since that girl he dated in the past, stop making up some horrible stuff," I do my best to not think the same way as he does, and he sneers. "I know this fucking guy, and let me tell you that he's really good at manipulating people and acting like a baby, a victim that's been so hurt by everybody and shit that he can't function properly. I almost lost my job from protecting him, and this fucking asshole still preferred to be mad at me and go back to his alcohol and drugs when I tried to help him."

"Why do you even care anyway?" I stand in front of him, and he shrugs. "Cause this girl's just gonna break your heart. If you think there's a chance she could ever fall out of love with that manipulator, you're gonna be very disappointed."

"I'm not hoping for that. I just want her to be happy because she's my best friend," I head towards the kitchen but notice y/n's bag. "I don't believe you. It's the first girl you're so in love with, you're doing way too much to not hope for more."

I do not speak about this anymore but text y/n about her bag she forgot.

30 minutes later...

After stressing out all the way up here, I knock on the door of Jungkook's house and hope for him to open up.

After a little bit, he does, but he does not greet me as usual, he makes it evident he does not want to see me and almost closes the door.

"Jungkook, you don't believe me, do you?" I stand before him with the plastic bag and my stained pants in my arms. "Why does it matter?"

I sigh and force my way inside. "I apologize for falling asleep and not telling you about it, but I had a horrible day, and staying at his house helped. I fell asleep before you even answered my text, so I promise I didn't ignore you or cared more about him," I give him my word and stare into his eyes, but he does not seem very trustful. "He was alone with you again, I guess?"

"His mom and brother were working, so yes, but his brother was home when I woke up," I put my plastic bag down and show him my pants, which is the best evidence to prove him I am being honest. "Here. Two guys in my class made fun of me for that, I was in pain, I cried until Matt was there," I move it down, hoping for him to believe me. He stares down at the sweatpants I am wearing, and I pay more attention to his eyes that seem bloodshot.

"Are you still in pain?" he asks, not focusing on anything else. "A little, but I'm feeling much better than earlier."

He snivels more heavily than someone without a runny nose would, and he glances away. "Change and put other clothes on, I'll get the heating pad ready," he moves forward to leave, but I touch his torso to stop him and make eye contact. "Did you cry or have a panic attack?"

"No," he brushes me off and leaves, so I do not hold him back but take care of getting changed into clean clothes.

I need to reassure him as much as possible after this.

20 minutes later...

"Have you eaten anything for dinner yet?" I hug the warm heating pad, sitting down next to him and wondering how I should talk to him. "Yes," he does not give his attention to me but his phone, not sounding very honest. "What did you eat?"

A few seconds pass in silence before he responds. "Pizza."

"Okay," I do not show how doubtful I am about the truthfulness of his answer, and I stay quiet, feeling like I am bothering, unwanted right now. I know why he is acting that way, why he is feeling that way, but I do not know how to prove him nothing happened with Matthew.

I feel like he will never trust me.

"You know..." I clear my throat and peek at him. "You can talk to me..."

"I'm tired, I don't want to talk," he locks his phone and drops it on the table, and he sits at the edge of the sofa to reach out for his pack of cigarettes, and I inch closer to him and wrap my arms around his waist, never taking my eyes off of him.

He does not react to the physical contact but takes a cigarette out and gets his lighter. "Not now, y/n," he stands up and does not return any of the affection, but shows some painful coldness.

I watch him walk out to get on the balcony, but instead of doing as I usually would, I stay where I am and leave him alone.

I have no idea how to get those thoughts out of his head. I hope he will act like he always does after a fight or argument, which means he will be aware of his behavior only the morning after and be willing to talk to me.

Understanding this is over for today, I grab my phone and heating pad, and I head upstairs to go to bed as I felt some tears fill my eyes. I do not enter his room but the other one, and I close the door behind me, drop my body on the bed, and wipe my tears away to check the text I received from Matthew.

< you forgot your bag ]

[ it's okay, I'll maybe come and get it tomorrow. If not, bring it on Monday please >

I leave my phone on the nightstand and tuck myself under the blanket. I have not eaten anything for dinner, and barely ate for lunch, but I am not feeling very hungry. I just want this day to come to an end and start a new one.

— Next day —

Saturday, July 3rd, 2021.

10 am.

After a long night of rest, and a morning routine that woke me up, I walk down the stairs and head towards the kitchen, but once I pass by the dining table, my eyes land on a sticky note, with a pill bottle next to it.

I stop myself and check what is written.

Take this for your period pain. You didn't even eat anything yesterday, so I cooked something for you to eat when you wake up. It's in the fridge.

Also, I'm sorry about my behavior today, but I couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened between you and Matt. It wasn't your fault. I love you. We'll talk about it tomorrow if you want.

I control myself not to tear up in front of this sweet and meaningful note I did not expect at all.

I know how hard it is for him to tell me he loves me, to talk about his feelings, or to admit he is in pain, whether physically or mentally, so this is very significant to me. This was enough to make my day.

I smile and grab hold of the pill bottle to take one out, and I go get some water to swallow it, and at the same time, I look for the meal he mentioned and know, with no doubt, where they are. I pick the two bentos with a heart note on them and put them down to check the inside.

One of them contains some small pancakes, but on which he placed some fruits to make cute animal faces, and the other is full with strawberry and banana slices, small cookies, and two pieces of chocolate.

He is so adorable and thoughtful. He knows how much I love chocolate on my period, and he never forgets to feed me with some. I love him a lot.

The hunger now resounding even more loudly in my stomach, I pick a cookie but put the bentos back in the fridge to cook for him too so that we can both eat together.

40 minutes later...

The sound of Jungkook leaving his bedroom to join me makes me hurry up as I was waiting for him this whole time. I turn the induction stove back on and pretend to be done with cooking only now, and I warm the savory food up in the frying pan.

He does not tell me anything but comes closer, and silently, he wraps his arms around my waist, presses his body against the back of mine, and touches the side of my face with his.

Despite the sweetness he is showing, the words he left on one of the notes, he does not speak but looks at what I am doing, and he runs one of his warm hands under my grey top. A smile grows on my face within a second, and I look at him, getting his eyes to end on mine.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask him in a quiet voice, and he shakes his head, his fingers grazing my stomach and ribs. "I wanted to hold you," he bends his head forth to drop a kiss on my shoulder, and for some reason, brushes his lips past my skin up to my neck. "Did you change of fragrance?" he notices, and I confirm. "Yes, I bought a better one. Do you not like the smell?" I turn the induction stove off, and his arms tighten their embrace around me as I can still feel the tip of his nose against my sensitive neck. "It smells so good. Keep this one, please."

"Really? It's expensive though," I smile and feel happy and satisfied. I was hoping for him to love it, and this seems even better than what I expected. "I'll buy it for you, but I love this one on you so much," he rubs his fingers higher up my skin and kisses my neck, and all the butterflies are back at it again. "I'll keep this one then."

I move the least possible to remain in his arms while serving him his food on a dish, and I enjoy the feeling of his touches on my skin. After yesterday, I truly feared this would not happen so soon again, so I am incredibly relieved.

"I'm sorry," he finally finds the moment to do it, his plump lips caressing my shoulder, and his hold onto me never loosening. "I didn't mean to act the way I did. I just panicked."

I put the frying pan down and turn around to look up into his eyes, and he pushes his hands up to my waist to grab it. "I love you a lot, Jungkook. You know that, right?" I lay my hands over his chest, and he nods to me, seeming calm and attentive. "You're my first boyfriend, the first person I fell in love with, and to me, it's still hard to believe I could be lucky enough to date you and be liked by you, so..." I think thoroughly about each and every word I say, willing to make him understand for good what I feel.

"I know it's hard for you to trust me when I say that, but I'll never do that thing you're so scared of. Matthew is a friend, I like him as a friend, not more, and I cannot ever imagine loving anyone else other than you. And I honestly never really talk about it with you, but I'm scared to lose you too, not just because of your health, but because of a lot more that could happen. It hurts me whenever I think about it, so I hope that, one day, you'll be able to tell your brain not to bring back those bad memories anymore and ruin the new ones I want to make with you..." I smile at him, nervously, afraid to not see him reciprocate those thoughts.

He does not respond, does not say a word. He pulls me in and holds me against him, so I hug him back and rest my head on his chest. "I love you too, I'm trying so hard to stop thinking of the worst, but I don't know how to control the things that I imagine and fear might happen."

"Did you really think something was happening between us? You didn't think of anything else but that?" I attempt to make him talk about it so that he can get everything off his chest. "That's the only thing that came to my mind when he told me you were at his house. I started panicking, I had a panic attack before you got here, and I was crying so hard because I thought that the only reason why you didn't answer was that you were having sex with him and couldn't do it."

"Jungkook," I touch his arm and make us look at one another. "Do you really think I would give my virginity to a 'random person' when I have been sending you the most obvious hints that I want you to be the one to take it?"

"No, but I don't know. He could have made you want it..." he thinks of every worst scenarios, only imagining the most negative things. "No, and he will never because I don't want to do it with anyone else but you. Alright?" I cup his face with both of my hands. "I just want you to promise me something."

"Tell me," I let him to go ahead, and he lowers his hands to my hips. "If you ever fall out of love—"

"This won't happen," I cut him off with an affirmation, but he sighs. "Please, just listen to me. If you ever fall out of love or end up realizing I'm not good enough, I want you to promise me you'll break up with me right away and never cheat. Just promise me that, please."

I muse on this request, convinced that I will never have to even think about this. I can tell this is very important to him though, so I put his mind at rest. "Fine, I promise I will, but I know this won't happen."

"You don't know that. You're a baby in love for the first time, so you think nothing wrong can happen or losing feelings for someone you're head over heels in love with right now cannot happen, but it can, so I just wanted you to promise," he embraces my body and kisses my lips, so I give him one in return and smile.

"Let's eat now," I turn around and grab his meal, and we both head to the table. "And thank you so much for the bentos, you're the cutest man ever," I show him how happy this made me, but he seems coy about it. "Let's not talk about this anymore. It's embarrassing," he sits down.

"What? It's not embarrassing, don't say that," I go and get them, and I join him but put the one with fruits between us. "Let's share this."

"I'm eating sausages, I can't eat fruits with that," he already digs in, hungry for sure. "Well, for dessert."

"Yeah," he chews and tilts his head, not seeming very sure. I do not annoy him anymore but eat to not starve anymore.

•••

1:30 pm.

After studying for three hours while Jungkook was caressing my thighs nonstop, I drop my phone on the coffee table and take a break.

"Jungkook," I whisper his name and ask for his attention, drifting it away from his phone, and he turns his head and focuses on me. "Yeah?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice," I smile and lean forth to hug him, and he puts one arm around me and combs my hair back, so I raise my head up, and his eyes go down to my lips.

He does not wait a second before kissing me, and he hovers his hand over the side of my throat. The kiss lasts for a few seconds, minutes full of passion and fondness, and I regain all the energy I lost in my studies.

"How are you feeling?" he brushes his thumb over my jawline and tenderly nuzzles the tip of my nose, and we stare into each other's eyes. "A bit in pain, but okay. How about you? Are you happy?"

A delicate smile turns his lips up, and with the most gentleness, he touches the side of my face and toys with my hair. "I am, and I'm feeling good."

"I'm happy too then," I rest my head on his chest to cuddle.

— Four days later —

Wednesday, July 7th, 2021.

11:20 am.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

After serving the last customer that was waiting for their order, I grab the cloth near me and clean the counter, and Luca comes up to me. "Hey, how many pastries have you sold yet?" he opens the display to add new freshly baked croissants, and I turn towards the screen to check the orders I took care of until now.

"Ten so far," I tell him, and he nods. "Alright. People don't often buy those vegan cupcakes, do they?" he closes the glass door and straightens his back, mentioning something I have been telling myself a lot these days. "No. How do you want them to sell good? They're tasteless and boring to eat, so no one wants them," I mumble so that the customers at the tables nearby do not hear me, and Luca chuckles. "I know, I tried them and thought the exact same."

"Glad to know I'm not the only one," I move the cloth away once the bell at the door rings to warn us someone came in, so I prepare the screen for their order. "I'm coming back with more donuts," Luca heads back to where he came from, so I focus on the customer who entered the shop but has not said anything.

"Good mor—" my heart drops at the sight of the man standing before me.