— One week later —

Monday, June 28th, 2021.

12:20 pm.

'JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V'

"Jungkook," Luca calls my name as I was cleaning the counter, and I glance up at him. "Yeah?"

"You're not taking your break?" he obviously waits for me with a paper bag of food in his hand, so I stop what I am doing and take my apron off. "I'm coming."

He stays where he is to not go without me, and I head in the backroom to leave my apron there and join Luca. He leads the way outside, avoiding the cafeteria where Emilia is, and we both walk to the spot we usually spend lunch at to be alone and no bothered.

"You didn't get any food?" he notices, and I shake my head. "No, I'm not really hungry."

"Y/n didn't cook for you?" he understands the reason why I am not eating without knowing anything at all. "No, she didn't come this weekend."

"Really, why?" he sits down on the bench first, and I get right by his side. "I was a dumbfuck last Monday, I told her not to come on the weekend if she misses school just for me, and I think she kinda took it like 'He's tired of seeing me so often', so she ended up not coming. I thought she would though, but this time, she didn't, and I didn't dare ask her why."

"You're still afraid to show how she makes you feel?" he takes his Tupperware out to dig in while I am holding back from smoking right when he is eating. "I don't know. Kinda. I feel like, I show her, sometimes, but then when I do it a little too much, I'm scared and retreat as if I had done something to be ashamed of. Just like I did last week when I was sick. I was so clingy with her, I wasn't afraid to tell her that I needed her close to me because I just felt so good with her, but then...I hate myself for it."

"Well, it's good that you're slowly opening up and letting your emotions a bit more on display. It's a good step forward, but there's no need to be scared or to feel ashamed. Look at her when you say those words, doesn't it seem to affect her?" he cheers me up and makes me feel much better about myself when I thought I was only doing wrong. I straighten my back and fix my hair into which some wind blew. "She seems happy, and I love it, but when I'm not with her anymore, I regret acting that way."

"Tell me if you don't want to talk about that, but in the past, when you were with you ex, would you feel that way too?" he tries to find the reason behind this feeling I have and cannot get rid of, and I shake my head, knowing where this is going. "Not at the beginning. It started a bit because of her. She'd constantly make me feel like I was too childish and clingy, so I felt ashamed and changed to try and not let my emotions show too much. Then...I just stayed like that because I was scared that she could not love me anymore."

He listens carefully and thinks about everything I tell him, always taking a moment to stay silent and know what to say.

"Go back to that person you were before her, but without forgetting the lessons you learned from those mistakes. You should never change for anybody, if they don't love you the way you are, they're not worth it," he gives one of the most meaningful advices, and I look at him. "Listen. I'm twenty-six, and I've been where you are right now. I was exactly like you at this age, so you're like my little brother. I know you're a good guy, you love that girl, and she loves you too, so don't let her go. Fight against those voices in your head that hold you back from showing your love and emotions, and I can assure you that you won't regret it. Be someone good, be yourself, no matter what, and even if you get hurt, you won't regret it because you'll never have to ask yourself whether you tried your best or not."

"I know but like, to this day, I still believe that if she cheated on me that first time, it's only because I wasn't good enough, so that was my fault," I explain the way I still feel because of her, but he stares at me and does not move anymore. His dark brown eyes remain fixed on me, and I nearly feel intimidated. "You better not mean that, boy."

I nervously smile and glance away. "I wish I didn't."

"The only acceptable reason a cheater could have is abuse or their partner is the one that cheated first, but even in this case, it's not really cheating to me, so you know exactly what that means. She was nothing but a bitch, who played with you, took advantage of your innocence and vulnerability because she knew she was your first, and manipulated you into thinking you were at fault for her wrong doing, so you hurry up and clear that crap from your brain before I do it myself. You were more than enough, alright?" he does not mince his words but affirms, with no hint of hesitancy.

He does not know. He does not know about the falsehood she spread about me, so him bringing the 'abuse' up makes me feel very uncomfortable.

"I really feel like a little brother you're scolding for being insecure," I chuckle, and he does the same. "I'm not scolding you, but I just want you to realize you're not what she tried to make you. You're a good guy who deserves to be loved, so accept what y/n gives you, and give the same in return without being scared. She's a loving person, and it's hard to find devoted girls like her who won't hide her feelings or ask for anything other than your love and well-being."

"Yeah, that's true," I acknowledge. "And take care of yourself," he slaps my arm in one of the kindest manner. "I was worried about you. I swear, if y/n wasn't there, I'd have taken her place and made sure you were okay. Don't ever get sick again."

"I won't, I don't want you to get mad at me," I grin and see him do so, but he hands me his dish that has been half eaten. "Eat the rest, I'm full already."

"What do you mean? There's so much left," I do not take his food, but he does not retrieve it, he holds it near me. "Eat. Don't make me say it again, or I call your girl to scold you."

I grab it and change my mind, admitting that I need this after the days I spent near death.

"Eat everything, I don't want to see anything left in it," he orders me to finish it, and after only one bite, I agree to do as told. "Your food is delicious. Did you cook it yourself?"

"Yeah, I love cooking, and it's not like anyone could do it for me, so I learnt to enjoy it," he opens a bottle to drink. "By the way, you never told me how you met y/n. What's the lore?" he frames his sentence in a way to make me laugh, and I swallow.

I have never talked about this with anyone, but this is a subject I love more than any other one.

"It's gonna sound very cringe, but I used to take the bus to come here. It was like, eight months ago? I can't count, but it happened in October. We'd often be on the same bus in the morning, but I didn't notice her at the beginning, I didn't pay attention to anyone, but one day, she sat next to me," I stop eating to describe the moment, smiling at the memories. "And I think I looked at her but briefly, and after a few minutes, 'cause we'd be on the bus for around half an hour I think, I felt her body leaning towards mine, and I checked what she was doing and saw her sleeping, so I didn't move, I just let her rest, and she woke up at some point but apologized. That was the first time," I speak with my hands and see him smile as well while listening to this story.

"The day after that, I just caught her staring at me and pretending not to be doing it. Then, I remember one day, she was sitting on the seats in front of me, so she had her back turned to me, but I noticed her head, like, banging against the window a few times, so I woke her up and told her about it because I didn't want her to hurt herself, and she was like 'Thank you, I'll stay awake', but not even five minutes after, she fell asleep again, so I slid my hand between the window and her so that her head wouldn't hit it anymore," I take another bite of the amazing food that reminds me of y/n's one. "Aw. You're such a sweet boy under all those tattoos."

I smile but cannot comment on this, so I just continue my story. "She didn't even notice I did it until she woke up, and the day after that, I caught her staring again, and the next day, she sat by my side, so we talked a little, and that's how it started. She even came to the coffee shop to visit me once, but she was with her friends, and I heard the girl she was with kinda tease her because she probably knew. I just always found it so cute, but never told her about it."

"Dude, she sounds so adorable. You should let her know from time to time, like, I'm gonna be honest with you," he raises his hand up while talking, and I focus on him while eating. "When I came to your house to get the car and that she gave me the keys, since you were asleep, I kinda talked with her for a minute, and I told her about the fact that you mention her a lot, and I swear," his smile grows bigger. "You won't ever imagine how bright her eyes became. She was so happy about it, you could tell from miles away that it made her feel good to know it from another person. You're both cute together, that's why I really want it to work because you both deserve each other."

"She is cute, that's one of the things I love the most about her. She also has this habit of calling my name before asking me something," I finish the food that filled me up. "What do you mean by that?"

"Like, if we're just silent while watching something or eating, she'll randomly call my name, and I don't know if she does it on purpose or if she even realizes it, but it's always in a cute tone of voice, kinda like a kid who asks their parent for something they're not sure to get, you know?" I close the empty Tupperware, and he nods. "Ah, yeah. I see what you mean. That must make you so soft. I bet you can't say no to her when she asks it that way."

"I can't. I'll pretend that I can, but inside, I'm just so fucking weak for her, I hate it," I take a sip of water to hydrate myself, and he puts the container back in his bag. "Don't hate it. It's a great feeling you should cherish. Trust me. I wish I could feel like that for somebody again too."

"You will. If I can find a girl like her, you'll find ten like her, I know it," I speak with confidence, and he scoffs. "Sure. If you say so," he takes his phone out, probably to check what time it is, and I do too but only to text y/n.

[ have you eaten yet? >

"When you'll see y/n, don't forget to tell her you missed her and wanted to see her last weekend, alright?" he tells me to do something I already had on my mind, so I show him I agree. "I will. I thought about doing it anyway," I put my phone back in my pocket and stretch. "And ask her to come this time. If she's always the one asking, she'll probably try and wait to see if you also want her to come, so don't be afraid to do it, this will make her happy to know she's not the only one hoping to see you."

"I will too," I smile and take all his advices seriously. I do not want to lose her, so I will do my best to make not make it happen. "On top of that, it's a stressful week for her because of her exams, so I kinda want to be there for her too. Even though she's spending a lot of time with her best friend to study."

"Ah yeah, it's the last week for her, isn't it?" he sets his eyes back on me, always seeming interested in what I talk about. "No, she still has to go next week too, then it's over, but she's very studious, so I don't know if having her at my house is a good idea because she tends to focus on me more than anything."

"Ah, I understand then," he tilts his head. "Maybe try to tell her you want to see her, but she'll only be allowed to come to your house when her exams over."

I chuckle at this idea that I know will never work with her. "If she knows I wanna see her, she'll only memorize that and not care about the rest of my sentence, so she'll come."

"Aw. Well, study with her then. If you think her best friend got a crush, he could be taking advantage of those exams to see her more often, so do it with her instead," he forgets one thing about me and forces me to remind him of it. "I dropped out of school when I was fifteen...How do you want me to help her with her studies? It's her last year, so if she succeeds, she'll graduate. She's smarter than me. That guy must be more helpful than me for this."

"Don't say that. You're smart too, and honestly, I graduated too, but don't even try to ask me to understand what they do in twelfth grade, I forgot everything not even one year after leaving school," he obviously attempts to make me feel better about myself, but this is not efficient, I will always feel like a stupid failure who stopped growing up at fifteen. "I'll cheer her up and try not to be jealous about the fact she's more with him than with me."

"It won't last long anyway, she'll probably want to see you every day once she's done with school," he grins, and I check my phone at the feeling of it vibrating. "Yeah. That will feel good to see her more often."

< I did, and you better have too:< ]

[ I did, don't worry<3 >

"We should probably go back to work, otherwise, one person in particular is gonna complain to the boss that we were two minutes late," he points at one colleague, and we both know who this is without the need to specify the name. "Yeah," I stand up, and we both head back to the shop.

— Four days later —

Friday, July 2nd, 2021.

12:10 pm.

'YOUR P.O.V'

The minutes passing but not seeming to get closer to four p.m, I rest my head on my fist and eat my rice crisps while staring into space, Matthew and I sharing a bench outside to enjoy the weather and calmer area than the schoolyard.

"What's wrong?" Matthew notices, eating his lunch more slowly than usual. I turn my head towards him, and I shrug. "Nothing."

"Nothing means something with you," he does not believe my lie, and I give in. "I'm just feeling sick since earlier."

"Sick? Are you in pain?" he does not take another bite of his sandwich anymore, and I move my head up. "Yeah. My head's been aching so hard, my body feels weak, and I'm unable to focus. My period is coming, but I forgot to take a pad, so I'm scared."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Does Jungkook know?" he mentions my boyfriend, expecting me to always warn him about my state. "No. He's busy today, and if I tell him I'm not okay, he's gonna leave work again."

"He leaves work for you every time?" he drinks some of his peach juice, and I nod. "Yeah, that's why I don't want you to tell him when I'm not doing fine."

"And are you fine right now? You think you're gonna be able to go through the rest of the day?" he knows what to ask in order to make me tell the truth. "I think, yeah."

"You think? But what if you can't and end up feeling worse?" he prepares for the worst that I know will not happen, and I fake a smile. "It won't. I know my body more than you do."

"Uh. We'll see," he brings his food back to his mouth to feed himself, and I do so.

I feel like he will be right.

•••

2:10 pm.

My state worsening the more I am staying here without doing anything about it, I decide to rise from my chair and go up to the teacher. "Sir," I lean over his desk and ask for his attention, feeling on the verge of collapsing.

"Yes?" he glances up at me. "Can I leave the room for a minute, please? I'm not feeling good," I nearly beg him, but instead of saying yes with no hesitation, he checks his watch. "There's only ten minutes left before the end, wait a little bit, would you?"

"Sir, I can't—"

"Ten minutes left. You didn't seem sick before the exam, so go back to your table and wait for the bell to ring like the others," he refuses to listen to me, so I give up and walk back to my desk.

However, right when I turn around, I notice some guys raise their eyes up my body and hide behind their hands to scoff, and in just a matter of short seconds, I understand I got my period and probably have a stain, so I hurry to go back to my desk.

I sit down, my entire body hurting, the shame and embarrassment engulfing me, I set my eyes back on my test but feel some anger and tiredness overwhelm me.

It only takes a few seconds for my tears to flood my eyes and roll down my face, and I cannot hold back from crying anymore, so I try as hard as I can to be silent but cannot stop thinking about those guys who laughed, and the other one who must have seen the stain too.

10 minutes later...

As soon as the bell rings, I grab my bag and use it to hide my butt as much as possible, and I hurry outside to go to the class right next to mine and wait for Matthew while sobbing.

"Hey!" a loud male's voice directs most of the attention over him, and I fall upon the two guys that made fun of me. "You're gonna leak everywhere, you want some help?" he yells in front of everybody, so I ignore him but feel the pain in my chest tighten once he comes closer with his friend. "I can prevent that from happening for nine months if you want," he laughs and walks away after humiliating me, but someone's hand cups my chin, and I come face to face with Matthew, who I could not even notice.

Not a single word escapes his mouth, he peeks into my teary eyes, and nudges his way through the students to reach the guys. I shout his name to stop him, but he does not hear or listen to me, he pushes one of them violently enough to make him hit the floor. One of Matthew's friends runs to see what is going on once he hits the other guy and starts a fight with them both.

This does not help at all but only makes me sob even more. I do not want him to get hurt, so I hurry towards him.

"Stop!" his friend hurls him away and stands before him to make sure the other guys do not try to punch again. "Tell those fucking bitches to shut their fucking mouth then!" he yells again, his voice sounding so powerful and scary whenever he raises it. I hold his arm and check the other guys, who insulted him but walked away. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did," he abruptly grabs hold of his bag he dropped on the floor to hit them, and he looks at me. "What happened? Why did they say that to you?"

"I don't want to say it here," I do not speak about it with so many students around us, but he takes my hand, explains to his friend he will text him, and he leaves with me. "I can't walk too fast," I slow him down, his wrath making him stride. "I'm sorry."

I take my hand away from his to wipe my tears away, and we both walk down the stairs and reach the outside soon after.

"I need to go to the restroom," I warn him, and he follows me towards it, getting us to drift apart from everyone which gives me an opportunity to talk to him. Since pretty much every student is leaving at this hour, I do not care about the fact that this is supposed to be the girl's restroom and ask him to come inside.

He closes the door behind us, and finally, we both are alone. "Tell me," he checks outside and opens a stall to hide together and not get caught. "I think I have a stain. I got my period, but I didn't see Jungkook this weekend, so I don't have any pads."

"Oh. You want me to check?" he does not speak with disgust or annoyance like most boys do, and with some slight discomfort, I still ask him to check. I take my bag off my shoulders and hang it on the hook at the door, and I turn around.

"Yeah, it's stained," he confirms my worst fear, and I turn around but find myself breaking down. "I had to walk up to the teacher to ask to go out, but some of them saw it and laughed. This is so embarrassing, I don't want to come back..." I hide my face in my hands. "Hey, don't say that. Those assholes are just fucking immature kids who probably don't even know what periods are, do not let them get to you like that. It happens, there's nothing to be ashamed of," he pulls my arms down and wipes my tears away but opens his bag. "I'm not sure I still have one left, but I'm gonna check," he looks through his stuff, and I pray for him to find a pad or tampon, even if I never worn one.

"There, I knew I didn't take it out," he relieves me with good news and hands me a pad, so I take it. "Do you want to come to my house? I'll give you a pair or sweatpants I got so you can go home without the stain."

I nod without thinking twice. His house is only five minutes from here, so I would rather have clean pants to take the bus and not embarrass myself even more or feel horribly uncomfortable.

"Alright, I'm waiting for you outside, do you want me to take your bag?" he touches it, and I say yes. He grabs it and closes the stall's door, so I lock it and hear him close his bag.

20 minutes later...

I lie down on his sofa, feeling more relieved now that I am here. "Do you want something to eat, drink, or a pill?" he drops our bags on the floor. "Just a painkiller, please," I close my eyes, and he heads to the kitchen. In a few seconds, he comes back with some flavored water, and a pill. "Here," he squats down in front of me, so I sit up and swallow what should alleviate the acute pain.

"Do you really not want to tell Jungkook about it?" he comes closer and sits down next to me, and I shake my head. "No, I know he's gonna be worried and leave work, but I don't want him to lose his job because of me."

"It wouldn't be because of you, stop saying that," he lays his hand over my back and rubs it, showing a lot of physical affection today.

I cannot tell if this is only because he knows I am not feeling well and nothing else, but I hope this is the case.

"I'll wash your pants and give them back to you tomorrow," I tell him, feeling bad for wearing his clothing when I could not even change my underwear that I had to cover with one pad on top and underneath in order to protect his sweatpants from any stain. "I don't wear them anymore because they're too small for me so don't worry. You can honestly keep them."

"Really? They're so big though," I look down at them and the strings I had to wrap around my waist two times to make sure they would not fall. "Yeah, I got a bunch of them anyway," he smiles and grabs a bag of chips he brought from the kitchen, and he opens it, takes a few of them, and holds it before me to ask if I want some.

For a moment, I pretend to hesitate, then dive my hand in the bag but notice his smile widens, so I peek at him. "What? I'm on my period and dying in pain, you can't expect me to say no," I lie down by his side to curl up into a ball and stay here, feeling much better with him than at my house where no one will care about me.

"I didn't say or expect anything. It's just cute the way you did it," he explains himself, and for some reason, I slowly begin to believe what Jungkook said.

It is hard to believe, but I cannot ignore or pretend not to see that his behavior towards me is very similar to Jungkook's one. Their personalities are very different, but they do treat me the same way, and it worries me. I do not want to break his heart, so I hope he will never confess but actually end up showing that he is like that with other girls.

"Do you want to watch some videos?" he leans forth to grab the remote control, and I nod. "Yeah, pick what you want. Do you have a heating pad though? It's really painful right now, and I can't stand it without any warmth on my stomach..."

"Uhm, I don't have that, but I think my mom got some cream you can apply on your stomach, and apparently it works well," he talks about something I have never heard of but which sounds very interesting. "Some cream? I never tried that."

"I'm gonna get it," he drops the bag of chips on the table before us and grabs a tissue to wipe his hand, and he walks away, so I bend over and steal some of his snack to not be seen eating, and I take my phone out to check if Jungkook sent me a text.

He did not, so I send one myself to tell him how the exam went like he asked me to do every day.

[ I'm done with today's exam, but it didn't go very well bcs I was too stressed out:c >

I put my phone down to eat some more of the snack, and Matthew comes back. "Here it is," he steps towards me and sits down at my feet, so I take a look at the tube. "Do you want to try?"

"Is your mom okay with me using it?" I make sure this will not bother her first. "Yeah, it's for you, so she won't mind," he opens it and turns towards me, so I roll on my back and undo the bow I made with the strings. "I think you just need to apply some of it on your lower stomach and rub it in like any other cream," he waits for me to expose my skin where only this is necessary, and he leans over to pour some of the cream over it.

I gasp as soon as it touches my stomach but unwittingly cause him to stop and glance up at me. "It's so cold. Was that in the fridge?"

"No," he chuckles but puts a little more. "There, it should be enough. Do you want me to rub it in?"

I smile and kindly refuse, and I do it myself. "I hope it will help," he closes the tube without seeming awkward, and he goes back to eating but takes a peek at what I am doing. "Does it hurt when you rub your stomach?" he shows some adorable curiosity.

"A little bit, but any pressure feels more uncomfortable than painful, to be honest," I tell him but feel weird. I cannot tell why, so I am going to blame it on my period. "Oh. Is it because you're bloated when it happens?"

"Yeah, it's mostly due to that," I nod and stop rubbing the cream in, but he notices and gets me a tissue to wipe my hand. "Thank you," I use it and tie the strings together around my waist and put my top back properly. I go back into my fetus position and let him lean back in the sofa, and we both watch a video while sharing a snack.

I will wait for the pain to be gone to go back home.

•••

5:40 pm.

"Y/n?" someone whispering my name wakes me up. "Hey, I'm sorry for waking you up, I just wanted to make sure you're okay because you've been sleeping a lot and Jungkook's worried. He wants to talk to you."

"Uh?" I squint my eyes, not understanding what is happening. "What time is it?"

"It's five forty. You've been sleeping for a few hours now, and I think Jungkook sent you a few texts that you didn't answer, so he told me to ask you to check your phone," he gives more details, and I nearly lose consciousness. How can it be so late already? I hope Jungkook is not upset and will not misunderstand.

I hurry to grab my phone and sit up.

He sent me six texts and called me twice. I am so scared.