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Chapter 23
Mistaken

The SUV entered the huge gates and revealed a modern and contemporary mansion inside. It wasn't as big as our mansion before, but it was way more than enough for me and my mother to live in. The whole exterior of the two-story mansion was painted with white and highlightened by rustic stones and glass. If you'd actually take a look at the glass, you'll see the chandelier gracing the living room and as well as the glass staircase, connecting the first and second floor of the house. It looked simple and elegant―just like my mother.

"Let's go inside, Clem." My mother held my hand and led me inside the house where two women were waiting for our arrival.

They were standing just in front of the main door. Agad kong namukhaan ang isang kasambahay. She looked way older now, but I could still tell who she was. Walang masyadong pinagbago ang kanyang mukha.

Mukhang nakita niya sa aking mukha na natatandaan ko siya kaya ngumiti siya sa akin, hindi kagaya ng katabi niyang hindi makatingin nang diretso sa akin.

"Ate Sally?" I tried calling her, hoping that I got her name right.

Mas lalo siyang napangiti sa akin at ang luha sa kanyang mga mata ay bumuhos na. "Maligayang pagbabalik, Clementine."

Moved by her tears, I approached and pulled her into a hug. I suddenly felt slightly comfortable in this huge home just by seeing someone familiar to me, aside from my mother.

Mayroon man akong yaya noon, pero mas madalas akong alagaan ni Ate Sally. Lagi niya rin akong pinagluluto ng mga paborito kong pagkain lalo na tuwing meryenda. She was basically like my mother too. That's how much she cared for me before.

"Masayang-masaya ako nang nalaman kong buhay ka," iyak niya at kumawala sa aking yakap para matingnan ako nang maayos. "Sabi na't hindi ka Niya papabayaan. Napakabait mong bata para kuhanin ng maaga..."

Mabilis niyang pinalis ang kanyang luha at saka lumingon kay mommy.

"Pasensya na po, Ma'am Caroline. Nadala lang po ako ng emosyon ko," pagpahingi niya ng paumanhin kay mommy.

My kind mother smiled. "You don't have to apologize for it, Sally. I know there's a special place in your heart for my daughter," she told her. "Clem..."

Nilingon ako ngayon ni mommy. Hinawakan niya ang aking kamay at iniharap kina Ate Sally at sa katabi niyang dalaga.

"Of course, you already know Sally, but I'm sure you don't know her daughter yet."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni mommy. Hindi ko alam na mayroong anak si Ate Sally. Pero ilang taon na rin naman ang nagdaan kaso ay mukhang hindi nagkakalayo ang edad namin ng kanyang anak.

"You might not know before, but she has a daughter. Her name is Steffie. She's 5 years youger than you," mommy introduced me to Ate Sally's daughter. "Nalaman kong binubugbog pala sila ng asawa niya tuwing umuuwing lasing kaya inaya ko silang dito na tumira noon. I hope you don't mind that, Clem."

Agad na umahon ang galit sa aking puso para sa asawa ni Ate Sally, pero napalitan din agad ng awa para sa mag-ina na nakaranas ng kalupitan.

"Syempre, mommy, ayos lang po. Mabuti nga po at inuwi ninyo po sila rito," sabi ko at saka nilapitan si Steffie. "Alam mo, may nakababatang kapatid din ako sa San Isidro, pero mas matanda ka sa kanya ng iilang taon. Matutuwa ako kung tatawagin mo akong ate."

Steffie looked slightly surprised when I said that. She just smiled a bit and bowed her head.

I realized that she was a shy kid. Or maybe, she's traumatized to meet strangers―which could be one of the effects from being abused by her own father. She's afraid that she'd be hurt, too, by other people.

I knew how it felt to be traumatized and it wasn't a good feeling. It's like you're being robbed of your senses and making it hard for you to breathe. Unfortuntely, up until now, I still suffered from time to time. Any sound similar to a gunfire could trigger my trauma.

After the simple introduction, we ate late dinner first before my mother gave me a quick house tour. Huli naming pinasukan ang aking kuwarto dahil iyon daw ang pinakaimportante.

My room's interior palette was made up of three different colors; gray, white, and lavender. There was an elevated part of the room where a king sized bed was placed. Mayroon ding mini living room sa loob ng kuwarto. Ang pintuan sa kaliwang parte ay patungo sa aking walk-in closet. It was filled with branded stuffs which my mother bought for me. Sa loob ng walk-in closet ay may pintuan ulit at nandoon naman ang banyo na kasing laki ng kuwarto ko sa San Isidro.

I picked up the picture frame on the side of my bed. It was a picture of me and my mother which my father took during my last birthday that I celebrated with them before the tragedy. Even though we have lot of family pictures of us three, no signs of my father could be seen in the whole house, and even in my room.

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang mararamdaman ko tungkol kay daddy. The only thing I knew was that they separated legally. I had no idea why. Wala akong maisip na dahilan para maghiwalay silang dalawa. They loved each other so much.

Noon sa San Isidro ay pinigilan ko ang sarili ko na alamin ang dahilan ng paghihiwalay nila. I wanted to be considerate with my mother's feelings. It was too much for her to contain her feelings when she met me that night. Ayoko nang pahirapan pa siya. Pero ngayon, gusto kong malaman ang dahilan.

Honestly, I wanted to meet my father now that I was back. Kahit sandali lang ay gusto kong makita si daddy. I wanted to know how he was doing, and I also wanted to say sorry for leaving him and my mother.

"You must be thinking of your father, right?"

Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang frame habang nililingon si mommy. Papalapit siya sa akin ngayon.

Her lips were tightly pursed like she was suppressing herself to release anger. I'd never seen her this mad. Ngayon lang... at para pa sa ama ko ang galit na ipinapakita niya.

"Siya ang kumuha ng litrato na 'to..." mahinahong sabi ni mommy kahit na nagpipigil ng galit. "We went to Disneyland that time to celebrate your birthday out of the country. You told us that you want to have a family vacation for your birthday gift."

A smile touched my mother's lips as she reminisced, however, it was a bitter smile.

"Your father loves you so much that he immediately moved and rescheduled his meetings for you," she continued. "He loves you so much. He'd do anything for you... for us. I believed that he loved me, too. I felt that. That's why I was so angry when I found out that he cheated on me... on us."

My heart dropped because of that one word―cheated.

I couldn't believed what I just heard. Parang pinaglalaruan ako ng aking pandinig.

My father cheated? He who loved his family so much cheated?

"To be honest, I was looking for a right time to tell you why we separated," mommy told me. "But I realized that there will never be a right time for it. You deserved to know as soon as possible. That's why when I saw your face longing for him while staring at our picture that he took, I wanted you to know why we couldn't be with him anymore... why we couldn't be a complete family again."

Until-unting kinuha sa akin ni mommy ang frame at ibinalik ito sa pagkakaayos sa tabi ng aking kama. Tinitigan niya 'yon hanggang sa mayroong luhang nakatakas sa kanyang mata.

"I hate him so much..." she whispered, but it sounded so firm. "Alam mo... kaya ko pa sanang patawarin siya. When he cheated on us, it wasn't recent anyway. You were still a baby when he committed that sin. But he had a child with his woman and that's what I couldn't take! I hate him so much for being happy to know that he still had a child with another woman, while you were lost and dead in the eyes of other people! He suddenly became happy, while I was still mourning for you..."

I have a half sibling?

"I'm sorry, Clem..." my mother apologized. "Even though I wanted you to have a complete family, I'm sorry but I couldn't do it. I despise your father so much that seeing him made me feel so disgusted."

Umiling ako. Bumubuhos na rin ang aking luha pero inuna kong punasan ang luhang rumaragasa sa pisngi ng aking ina. All this time, she was mourning by herself. She was all alone. Now, that I'm here with her, I wouldn't make her feel like that again.

"Clem, I don't want to be selfish..." she said. "If you wished you meet your father, as he is still your father no matter what we do, I can make arrangements for you."

"Mom, you don't have to do this for me. I can wait 'til you're fine."

"Clem, I'll never be fine... I don't want you to worry but that's the truth. Your father's affair will forever haunt me. The wound he gave will never heal in my heart," she admitted how she truly felt.

She held my hand that's wiping her tears and brought it down to her lap. She smiled with stains of tears on her cheeks, showing me how strong she was.

"You take a shower and rest now," she told me. "It's late already. Sigurado akong napagod ka sa biyahe."

My mother kissed me on my forehead, bid me goodnight and went out of my room.

Napabuntonghininga ako nang sinuyod ko ng tingin ang napakalaking kuwarto. Pakiramdam ko'y mahihirapan akong sanayin ang sarili. But I had to live with it.

This is my life now.

I'm no longer Linette Afia Hernandez. I'm back into being Clementine Laureen Guillermo.

Naging mahirap para sa akin ang matulog sa napakalaking kama nang mag-isa. I slept past midnight and woke up earlier at dawn. Halos wala rin akong naging tulog. I tried to fall asleep again, but I couldn't. In the end, I just gave up. Bumangon na ako at naligo bago bumaba sa kusina.

Tahimik pa ang bahay dahil mag-aalas-sais pa lang ng umaga. I checked the fridge and decided that I'd cook our breakfast for today. Wala pang kalahating oras ng aking pagluluto ay nasa kusina na si Ate Sally.

"Nako, Clem! Ako na dapat diyan." Para bang problemadong-problemado siya dahil ako ang nagluto ng umagahan namin ngayon. "Kung nagugutom ka na, dapat ay ginising mo ako. Medyo tinanghali kasi ako ngayon."

Shaking my head, I smiled at her. "Ayos lang po," sabi ko. "Sanay po akong nagluluto ng umagahan. I can also do housechores now. Hindi na po ako bata na dapat pagsilbihan."

"Pero trabaho ko 'yan..." Iyon na lang ang kanyang nasabi.

"Kahit ngayon lang po, Ate Sally," pakiusap ko. "Matatapos naman na po ako at gusto ko rin pong ipagluto si mommy."

Bumuntonghininga siya. "Oh sige, sige!" pagpayag niya kaya napangiti ako. "Tulungan na lang kita mag-ayos ng lamesa."

"Thank you po!"

I cooked a simple breakfast for all of us―fried rice, sunny side ups and bacon. I also toasted loaves of bread, just in case my mother didn't want to eat rice for breakfast.

A few minutes later, my mother finally arrived in the dining hall. She was wearing a white halter top paired with gray suit and slacks. Her Louis Vuitton bag was casually hanging on her arm. Bihis na bihis na siya at mukhang aalis na kaagad pagkatapos kumain ng umagahan. Naalala ko tuloy na sinabi niya kina nanay at tatay na may kailangan siyang importanteng gawin ng Miyerkules.

"You cooked our breakfast?" She smiled as her eyes feasted at whatever's on the table.

"Opo, maaga po kasi akong nagising," sabi ko at ipinaghila siya ng upuan. "Upo na po kayo, 'mmy. Kain po muna kayo bago umalis."

She kissed me on my cheek. "Thank you, my darling."

Inaya na rin ni mommy sina Ate Sally at Steffie na kumain kasama namin. Steffie was wearing her school uniform. Sinabi ni Ate Sally na first year high school pa lang si Steffie.

"Speaking of school, you can't take an entrance exam yet because I still need to get all the necessary documents from your schools in San Isidro. Madami pang kailangang asikasuhin dahil sa pagpapalit mo ng pangalan. It might take a little bit time, but rest assured that you'll be able to transfer next semester."

I nodded and smiled.

Alam kong mahihirapan dahil sa mga dokumento, pero ayos na sa akin ang alam kong makakapag-aral pa rin ako sa normal na unibersidad.

"Also, I'm sorry if I wouldn't be able to spend the whole day with you today," she apologized. "I promise that I'll finish everything today and bond with you for the next days. We still have to plan the welcome party for you this weekend. If you want, we can invite your father. That way, you two can see each other again during the party."

"Welcome party?" I was slightly taken aback. "Kailangan po ba talaga no'n?"

"Of course, darling. You are Clementine Guillermo," she said it like it was an enough explanation that I'm Clementine Guillermo. "Anyway, I'd like you to meet someone. He said that he's already ten minutes away before I went down."

"Sino po 'yon?" pagiging kuryoso ko.

"I'm pretty sure you know him," sabi niya. "Magiging panatag lang ang loob kong hayaan kang mag-isa kapag kasama mo siya."

The smile on her face made my brows furrowed.

Who was she talking about?

Before I could even voiced out my question, I heard heavy footsteps against our marbled floor, nearing the dining room.

"He must be here already."

Mom grabbed the table napkin to wipe her lips after she drank her juice. Nalipat naman agad ang tingin ko sa bukana nang mayroong dumating.

I was too stunned when I saw the man I thought I would never see again ater leaving San Isidro. The feelings I was trying to bury since that night―when I confessed through a text message about my feelings―were starting to heat up my chest, slowly crawling all the way up to the surface of my heart.

He didn't even look at me. He was just looking straight at my mother who's already approaching him.

"Clementine, this is Kalcifer."

My lips parted simultaneously as my eyes went wide open.

Kalcifer?

My mother must be mistaken!

"I know you know him as Alastair, but his real name is Kalcifer." Mom must've seen the confusion in my face that's why she explained right away, but it only made me even more confused.

What did she mean by that?

The Alastair I knew and fell in love with wasn't really that Alastair?

"Kalcifer, please take care of my daughter while I'm gone," mommy asked him for a favor.

"No problem, Tita Caroline," he said. "It's my job to protect her, anyway."

It's his job to protect me?

Gulong-gulo pa ako at madami akong gustong itanong pero lumapit na sa akin si mommy para humalik sa gilid ng aking noo at magpaalam.

"I'll be going now, darling. If you want to go somewhere because you're bored at home, just tell Kalcifer. He'll accompany you anywhere you want to go," malambing niyang sabi sa akin bago nilingon si Steffie. "Steffie, sumabay ka na sa akin. Madadaanan namin ang school mo."

Since Steffie was already finished with her breakfast, she followed my mother on the way out. Nagsimula na ring maglipit si Ate Sally nang ilang pinagkainan at pumunta sa dirty kitchen.

Ako naman ay nanatiling tutula habang nakatingin kay Alastair―na siya pa lang si Kalcifer talaga―na hindi pa rin ako pinapaunlakan ng tingin.