#ChainedtothePastWP

Chapter 1
Lia

My head was throbbing in pain the moment I woke up. It was hard for me to see clearly after I opened my eyes. Everything was blurry. A minute had to pass before my eyes were able to adjust.

Saktong paglinaw ng aking paningin ay ang paglapit ng isang batang babae na mukhang kasing edad ko lamang. Bakas sa kanyang bilog na mga mata ang pagkagulat nang magtama ang aming tingin sa isa't isa.

"Na-nanay!" Nataranta na siya at saka tumakbo palabas ng silid. "Nanay! Gising na 'yong babae! Gising na siya!"

While she was out to call her mother, I took that opportunity to let my eyes wander around the small room. The walls were made up of semented bricks. Kung titingnan mo ay mukhang hindi pa tapos gawin ang kanilang bahay dahil wala pa itong pintura. Sa taas naman ay kitang-kita mo ang mga dos por dos na kahoy na nakasuporta sa bubong.

Sa labas ay naririnig ko ang pag-ihip ng hangin at pati na rin ang pagkaluskos ng mga dahon at sanga ng puno. Hindi ko na kailangang sumilip pa sa labas ng bintana para malaman na nasa isang probinsya ako. Wala ako sa siyudad.

It was all a very unfamiliar sight and feeling for me. Pakiramdam ko ay wala ako rito dapat ngayon. Kahit na hindi ko maisip kung saan ang aking pinanggalingan, nararamdaman kong hindi ganito ang aking kinalakihan na kapaligiran.

"Diyos ko! Gising ka na nga!"

Nilingon ko ang bukana ng pintuan. Nakatayo roon ang isang may katandaan na babae na naka tee shirt at saya. Ang batang babae kanina na una kong nasilayan kanina ay nakasilip mula sa kanyang likuran at tila natatakot sa aking presensya.

Habang pinupunasan ang basang kamay sa saya ay lumapit sa akin ang babae nang may ngiti sa kanyang labi. Sa sobrang rahan ng kilos niya, hindi ko alam kung bakit medyo napaatras pa rin ako sa kaunting takot na naramdaman.

"Huwag kang matakot..." mahinahon niyang sabi. "Hindi kita sasaktan."

Because of her reassuring voice and smile, I was able to keep myself calm for a bit. I let her touch my forehead as she was trying to feel my temperature.

"Mabuti naman at wala kang lagnat." Napangiti siya at saka nilingon ang anak na nasa may pintuan pa rin. "Dia, kumuha ka nga ng tubig na maiinom."

Her daughter dashed her way out to obey her mother's order, while she continued to check on me for any possible pain that I was feeling on my body. However, aside from a throbbing headache, I was feeling surprisingly fine.

Hindi nagtagal ay bumalik na ang kanyang anak na may dalang isang baso ng tubig. Nagmamadali siyang iniabot iyon sa babaeng nasa aking harapan at saka patakbong nagtago ulit sa pintuan ng kuwarto. Ayos na sa kanya ang sumilip lamang sa loob.

"Heto..." Maingat na binigay sa akin ng babae ang baso. "Uminom ka muna ng tubig."

Even though I was feeling very hesitant, I accepted the offer and slowly drank the glass of water while being wary of my surroundings. Agad akong nakaramdam ng ginhawa nang makainom. I suddenly had the urge to speak now. Ang dami kong gustong sabihin, ngunit hindi ko alam kung saan at paano ako mag-uumpisa lalo na kung wala akong maisip na dapat sabihin.

My mind was completely blank.

I tried to search for information, but I couldn't provide myself what I needed. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang nangyari o kung bakit ako nandito ngayon. Hindi ko kilala kung sino ang mga taong nakakaharap ko ngayon. And the moment I realized I didn't know my own identity, I got so terrified.

Napaawang ang aking labi at nabitawan ko ang plastik na baso. Umalingawngaw sa maliit na kuwarto ang tunog ng pagbagsak nito sa sementong lapag.

"Ano'ng nangyari? Ayos ka lang ba?" nag-aalalang tanong ng babae. "May masakit ba sa'yo? Sabihin mo sa akin."

I started crying, feeling terrified and hopeless. They tried to comfort me, but my emotions couldn't be tamed. My tears were streaming down my face endlessly.

Ang takot para sa sariling kaligtasan ang nananaig sa aking sistema. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang pagkatiwalaan ang pamilyang kumupkop sa akin. I was very conscious and scared about everything.

In the end, they weren't able to properly speak with me. Hinayaan nila akong mag-isa sa loob ng kuwarto. They brought me food inside when it was time for dinner, but I wasn't feeling hungry, so I didn't even touch it. Nakatulugan ko na ang pag-iyak at pag-aalala hanggang sa inabot na naman ako ng panibagong umaga na puno pa rin ng takot.

Suddenly, I heard the doorknob rattled as it was being opened. I became alert and pulled the blanket up to my neck with my both hands.

Ang akala ko ay iyong babae ulit ang papasok sa loob ng aking kuwarto, ngunit nagulat ako nang isa iyong lalaki na dahilan kung bakit mas lalo lamang akong binalot ng takot. He looked slightly old and vulnerable, but it didn't mean he couldn't do anything to harm me.

Due to my reflex and instinct, when he stepped closer to me, I covered my ears and closed my eyes. Once again, tears escaped and I started crying.

"No! No! No!" I screamed, feeling extremely terrified.

"Ano'ng nangyayari rito?!"

Sumabog ang pintuan at pumasok ang babaeng nag-aalaga sa akin kahapon. The man who was approaching me earlier was shocked from my sudden outburst. He froze, staring at me, while his wife tended and comforted me as much as she could.

I couldn't remember how long it took to make me calmed down, but the woman didn't leave me alone when she ordered her husband to get the doctor from the lying inn established on their barangay. Medyo matagal din bago nakabalik ang lalaki kasama ang doktora.

"Kailan pa siya nagising?" bungad na tanong nito sa mag-asawa nang tumama sa akin ang kanyang mga mata.

"Kahapon lang, doktora."

"Dapat ay dinala ninyo siya agad sa clinic para natingnan ko agad."

"Pasensya na ho't nawala sa isipan ko," paghingi ng paumanhin ng babae. "Kaninang umaga lang din po nakauwi ang asawa ko galing biyahe at wala akong katulong kung sakali."

Dahan-dahang tumango ang doktora bago lumapit sa akin.

I moved closer to the wall like it was already an automatic reaction when someone's trying to approach me. My body wanted to avoid them so badly.

The doctor stopped halfway when she saw my reaction. Her eyes narrowed as she examined me with her observing gaze. Matapos ang iilang sandaling pagtitig sa akin ay tuluyan na siyang lumapit. I did whatever defensive stance I could to prevent her from closing our distance.

"Huwag kang matakot sa akin..." kalmado niyang sabi at ngumiti sa akin. "Hindi kita sasaktan. Isa akong doktora. Tutulungan kita..."

Those words weren't enough to make me fully trust her. I didn't know how she managed to calm me, but the next thing I knew, I was pretty collected while she did a quick check-up on me. Because she was touching me so gently, it didn't trigger any violent emotion from me.

"Siguro ay hindi mo alam kung ano ang nangyari sa'yo nitong nakaraang walong buwan..."

Napaawang ang aking mga labi.

Did I just hear her right? Eight months?

The doctor explained how I was in coma for eight months since the married couple found me almost lifeless and covered with my own blood. They said I fell down from a cliff, and it was a miracle that I was still alive and breathing.

Dahil malayo sa sibilisasyon at walang sapat na pera ay hindi nila ako nadala sa pinakamalapit na ospital na iilang kilometro pa ang layo. Ang tanging nasa isip nila ay madala ako sa pagamutan upang matingnan ako. They settled taking me to the lying inn, but they took me home as soon as I became stable. Fortunately, the doctor assigned to this rural and uncivilized area has a good heart. She volunteered to check on me every two weeks just to make sure that I had a stable recovery.

"Natatandaan mo ba kung bakit ka nahulog sa bangin?" kuryosong tanong sa akin ng doktora.

I bit my lower lip and lowered down my head. I didn't have to voice out my answer. Alam kong alam na nila ang gusto kong sabihin.

I had no recollection of any memory that happened before I woke up yesterday. My mind was like a representation of a blank canvas—a tabula rasa.

"Kung ganoon, maaari ba naming malaman ang pangalan mo?" sunod niyang tanong sa akin, nagbabaka-sakali na mayroon nang makukuhang sagot mula sa akin.

However, I failed them the moment I shook my head.

Their lips parted. Mukhang kahit inaasahan na nila ang aking sagot ay hindi pa rin sila makapaniwala. Agad namang nakabawi ang doktora at saka tumango-tango. She smiled to assure me that everything would be fine eventually.

"Sana ay madala ninyo siya bukas sa aking clinic. Kulang man sa gamit, pero gusto kong mas matingnan siya nang maayos," bilin ni doktora nang kausapin ang mag-asawang kumupkop sa akin. "Mayroon siyang amnesia at hindi ko alam kung panandalian lang ba ito o permanente na. Nagpapakita rin siya ng mga senyales na mayroon siyang trauma. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi basta-basta ang dinanas niya. Kailangan pa natin siyang tingnan nang maigi. Masyadong delikado ang kalagayan niya ngayon para hayaan na ganito lamang."

Matapos akong bigyan ng gamot pampakalma, agad ding umalis ang doktora dahil mayroong pa siyang mga naghihintay na pasyente sa pagamutan.

Ang babae naman ay nanatili sa aking tabi matapos utusan ang asawa na maghanda ng hapunan. Marahan at nag-iingat niyang inabot ang aking kamay. Her warm and soft hand brought me comfort. And when she smiled at me, it was like a heavy feeling inside me was lifted up.

"Hindi ako nakapagpakilala sa'yo kahapon nang maayos dahil alam kong nahihirapan ka pa..." sabi niya. "Ako nga pala si Aling Marissa. Marissa Hernandez."

Marissa Hernandez...

"Iyong batang babae na nakita mo kahapon ay ang anak ko. Dia naman ang palayaw niya, pero Lydia ang buong pangalan niya," pakilala niya sa anak. "Ang lalaki kanina ay ang asawa ko, si Vito. Siya ang nakakita sa'yo na walang malay noong pauwi siya galing biyahe."

Lydia... Vito...

Even though I knew I would fail myself since the doctor said that I was suffering from amnesia, I still tried to find a sense of familiarity through their name. But of course, I didn't get want I wanted.

"Ayokong masamain mo pero hindi mo ba talaga maalala ang pangalan mo?"

Kagat-kagat ang aking labi ay umiling ako. I tried remembering my name from time to time, but I couldn't really remember even a single letter from my name.

Bumuntong-hininga siya bago ngumiti at pinisil ang aking kamay. "Kung ganoon, mahirap naman na wala kaming itatawag sa'yo habang nandito ka kaya..." Saglit siyang natigil upang mag-isip, ngunit agad ding lumiwanag ang kanyang ekspresyon. "Lia!"

My eyes narrowed a bit. I had no idea what she just screamed, but she looked so proud of herself.

"Lia muna ang itatawag namin sa'yo hangga't hindi mo pa naaalala ang pangalan mo," paliwanag niya. "Ayos lang ba 'yon sa'yo, Lia?"

It wasn't even my real name, but I felt so emotional when she used that name to address me. Siguro ay kahit papaano, nawala na ang pakiramdam sa akin ng pagiging isang estrangho dahil binigyan niya ako ng pangalan.

"L-Lia..." I stuttered, reiterating the name that was given to me.

With eyes opened wide because of surprise, she gasped and let go of my hand to cover her mouth. I saw tears starting to form inside her eyes. She was suddenly getting so emotional.

"N-Nagsalita ka..." mangiyak-ngiyak niyang sabi. "Nakakapagsalita ka na!"

That was when I realized that I hadn't been saying a single word since I woke up yesterday.

I tried to speak yesterday, but I became so terrified when I couldn't find something to talk about. Wala akong kaalam-alam. Ang tanging nagawa ko lang ay ang umiyak. I felt so scared and helpless at the same time.

Suddenly, I envied those individuals suffering from amnesia who woke up being surrounded with their family. They were lucky not to be in the same situation as me. It was very frightening to wake up with no recollection of any memories, but it was more frightening to know that no one here knew who I was.

Walang makakapagpanatag ng aking loob. Walang may alam kung ano ang pangalan ko; kung ano ang nangyari sa akin; kung nasaan ang pamilya ko.

But the familial affection she was showing me made everything fine. Pakiramdam ko ay wala akong dapat ikatakot dahil mababait ang mga taong nakahanap sa akin. I should be thankful because I was still lucky. They took care of me for eight months that I was still in coma. Kung sa kamay ako ng mga masasamang tao napunta, baka hindi na ako tuluyang magising. Baka hindi na ako nagkaroon pa ng pagkakataong maidilat ang aking mga mata kagaya kahapon.

"Nagsalita ka na talaga!"

Habang umiiyak ay lumapit siya sa akin upang balutin ako ng mainit at mahigpit na yakap.

I was slightly caught off guard with her sudden embrace. I froze for a moment, but then, relaxed when I felt comfort.

Ilang sandali pang nagtagal ang kanyang pagkakayakap sa akin bago siya bumitaw. Marahan niyang pinunasan ang kanyang luha habang nakangiti sa akin.

"Vito! Vito!" tawag niya sa kanyang asawa.

Her husband, still holding a stainless ladle, ran into the room looking panicky. His eyes immediately searched for his wife.

"Ano'ng problema?! Bakit ka umiiyak?"

"Nakapagsasalita na siya!" masayang-masaya si Aling Marissa. Sa sobrang tuwa ay nilapitan niya pa ang asawa upang yakapin.

The image of them embracing each other brought joy and warmth to my heart. I never thought that she would be this happy just because she finally heard my voice when I spoke.

Unti-unti ay nakita kong napangiti na rin si Manong Vito at sinuklian ang yakap ng asawang nagagalak.

Unconsciously, I smiled to myself. I hope everything would be fine from now on.