22.Creeping Insecurities

Do let me know how you found the chapters. Cant wait for your beautiful comments and views. And extremely sorry for the delay. But a long chapter to compensate the delay

Lots of love

The alarm blared and Zoya woke up. She switched off the alarm and then looked at her beautiful husband beside her. Waking up next to him was the best feeling ever. Aditya was tossing in the bed because of the sunlight falling on his face. Zoya came close to him and tried to block the sunlight away. Aditya smiled. His fingers crept to silently to touch Zoya's hands. And then he woke up looking alarmed. Zoya said "Kya hua. Aap aise kyun uth gye?"

Without a word he checked Zoya's forehead and then said in a worried voice "Zoya tumhe toh bukhaar hai. 102○ toh hoga hi. Tumhe apni tabiyat kharab nhi lag rhi hai kya ?"

Zoya coughed a bit and said "Are aisa kuch nhi hai. Hum theek hai. Yeh toh choti moti bimari hai. Humne dawai le li hai."

Aditya said "Koi choti bimari nhi hai yeh. Kahin nhi jaa rhi ho tum aaj. Chup chaap so jaao."
"Are lekin humein jana hai." complained Zoya.
"Zoya tum hospital ki eklauti doctor toh ho nhi. Aur bhi doctor hai. Ek do din nhi jaaogi toh hospital gir nhi jaayega. Apne aap ko itni importance dena bandh karo aur let jaao." said Aditya.
"Hum khud ko importance de rhe hai...." said Zoya indignantly.

Aditya placed his finger on her lips and said "Shut up. Nhi jaa rhi ho kahin tum. Main tumhara boss hoon aur yeh mera order hai. Ab let jaao."

He got up from the bed and went downstairs. After half an hour or so he came up with a soup bowl in his hand and saw Zoya fast asleep. He thought "Pata tha so jayegi. Itni tabiyat kharab hai lekin Wonder Woman toh bannna hai ise. Soup pila ke fir se sula deta hoon nhi toh bohot weak ho jayegi."

He went and sat on the bed and gently woke her up. She groaned and Aditya said "Aaram se Zoya. Bas thodi der ke liye uth jaao aur yeh soup pilo." Within that half an hour her condition had worsened. Her eyes were red and she got up with difficulty. Aditya said "Ruko." He adjusted himself on the bed and then helped her get up. He put her face softly on his chest and then took the soup bowl. He then fed her small spoons of chicken soup slowly while gently caressing her hair.

Zoya fell asleep again midway through her meal. Aditya took her head and placed it gently on the pillow. Zoya coughed in her sleep. Aditya suddenly had tears in his eyes. He didnt like to see her that way. He always wanted her to be strong and healthy. He wanted to fight with her , to talk to her , to see her smile. He was missing her although she was right there with him. He said softly "Jaldi se theek ho jaao Zoya. Tumko aise dekh kar bilkul acha nhi lag rha hai." He held her cheeks softly and kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear "I love you Zoya." And he thought "Did I just say I love Zoya aloud? Did I just say it? Oh my God, I love her and now I dont even feel scared. Yes I love her. I love her so much. Once she gets well I will tell her. Oh my God, I am hyperventilating I think. I cant wait to tell her."

He looked at Zoya's peaceful face and caressed it and kissed her cheeks and then went away. He kept the medicines for her on the bedside table and left for work. By lunchtime he was fidgeting in the hospital. He couldn't concentrate on his work. He wanted to get back to Zoya. He couldn't eat his lunch because he kept thinking about her.

In the end he decided he would go back and stay with her. He drove back and hurried back up and saw Zoya still fast asleep. He went to her and said softly "Zoya utho aur yeh dawai le lo. She nodded weakly. Aditya fed her the medicines. She held his hand and said "Mat jaaiye idhar se." Aditua said "Main yahin hoon ab humesha ke liye."

He slid into the bed and Zoya hugged him and slept. Aditya stayed awake lest Zoya needed something or something happened to her and he wasn't alert. At midnight Zoya woke up and Aditya said "Kaisa lag rha hai ab tumhe?"
"Better hai hum. Thodi si bhook lagi hai."
Aditya smiled and said "Khichadi tyaar hai. Main lekar aata hoon."
He went down and got it for her. As he was feeding her, Zoya was looking at him and he said "Kya hua?"

She said "Bachpan se leke aajtak jab bhi humari tabiyat kharab hui hai kisi ne ek baar bhi palak jhapka ke nhi dekha. Aur yahan aapne humare liye poori raat jage rhe. Humein ek baar ke liye bhi akela nhi choda. Aapke jaisa insaan humare naseem mein kyun hai humein pata nhi lekin hum aapko kabhi khona nhi chahte. Kabhi nhi."

Aditya didn't say anything and continued to feed her. Then he got a bowl of water and a towel and wiped her face. He gave her the medicines for night and then said "Tumko main ek sponge dekar tumhare kapde change kar doon. Subah se inhi kapdon mein ho. Fikar mat karo , andhere mein karoonga so that you dont feel awkward."

Zoya was a bit taken aback at this sudden proposal said hesitantly "Nhi hum kar lenge."

Aditya said "Khadi ho paa rhi ho khud se ki khud naha ke aa jaogi. Fikar mat karo main kuch nhi dekhoonga. I have performed surgeries with just the light of a single phone torch so I guess I will be able to give you a sponge and get you into fresh clothes without looking. Baaki jaisa tumhe theek lage"

Zoya said "Acha theek hai kar di jiye."
Aditya got a tub of hot water and towel and a night dress of hers from the closet and switched off all the lights.Slowly he unzipped the kurta of hers and helped her get out of it. He could feel Zoya's skin getting goosebumps. He said "Zoya relax. Mujhe kuch dikh nhi rha hai. It's a normal routine for any patient. The only difference is the nurse usually does this. Just relax okay."

Zoya nodded. Gently and slowly Aditya wiped her back , neck, chest and hands and then helped her get into the fresh night dress. He then asked her to rinse her mouth with salt and water and then with a mouthwash. He wiped her face. Then he covered her with blankets and switched on the lights. He said "Ab better lag rha hai?" Zoya said "Haan and thank you so much." She smiled weakly and then said "Thak gye hai hum ab. Sona chahte hai. Aap humare saath rahiye please."
Aditya said "Haan bas paanch minute mein aata hoon."

As he was getting ready to come to bed Zoya thought how utterly beautiful her husband was. They were so close now. He could have easily said that it was his right as her husband to give her a sponge with the lights on. But he didnt say so. He waited for her to give her consent and then went forward. He made his work difficult so that she wouldn't be uncomfortable. She knew that God had chosen the best possible man for her.
Aditya came back and asked her "Kya soch kar itna smile kar rhi ho?"
She said "Kuch nhi. Aaiye so jaaiye."
He slept next to her and she snuggled in his chest as that was her safe place. He held her like a delicate china doll and went to sleep.

The next day passed more or less in the same way. Aditya again came back in the afternoon and saw Zoya watching Game of Thrones. He looked at the time and said "Ab main Zoya ko kaise boloon mujhe Naagin ka repeat dekhna hai. Ek toh uski tabiyat kharab hai, zyada kuch bol bhi nhi sakta. Lekin pichle dono episode maine miss kar diye the. Bolta hoon use ek baar."

"Zoya. Tum zara naagin lagao na colors pe. Pichle dono episode mere miss ho gye hai."
Zoya rolled her eyes and said "Aap GOT ke saamne Naagin dekhne ki baat kar rhe hai. Hum nhi change kar rhe hai channel. Aap humare saath GOT dekhiye."

"Lekinnn Zoyaaa. Mera episode reh jaayega na. Bela is this close to get the Naagmani. Please dekhne do na."

"Aditya aap aur aapke hindi shows ke shauk. Humein nhi dekhna naagin. Aap yeh dekhiye nhi toh so jaaiye."

"Ek toh main tumhare liye kaam chod ke aaya aur tum mujhe hi bol rhi ho ki main so jaaon. Aur tumhare GOT mein aisa kya hai? Incest, murder, violence and those flying creature which spit fire. Aisa toh kuch khaas hai nhi."

"Aditya aap chip rahiye. Cersei is about to do something really bad and I want to watch it. She has not gone for the trial. That means she is... Aap voot pe dekh li jiye na. Humara dimag mat khaiye. Dekhne di jiye humein."

"Voot pe dekhna hota toh pehle hi dekh leta na main. Kitni hi toh smart ho tum."

Zoya ignored him and he went to bed muttering curses. "Agar iski tabiyat kharab nhi hoti toh main abhi remote chen leta." But a part of him was happy to see her arguing with her. Everything was fine again. And he went to think how and when he would confess his love to her.

Two days later Zoya was fit and joined work. In the lunch break Zoya didnt come to Aditya's cabin like she usually did so he went to her cubicle and saw her hugging a man.
Suddenly Aditya felt furious. It was a normal hug but he hated it. It wasn't as if he wanted to be that controlling husband who dictated whom his wife should hug and whom not. But he couldn't control his jealousy that was creeping in him. His insecurities of being betrayed which had been long dead and gone because of Zoya were again creeping back to him. He was suddenly scared of losing Zoya or maybe afraid that Zoya might do the same to him that was done to his sister.

He removed all those baseless thoughts and told his brain "Its just a hug. What rubbish are you thinking.?"
He cleared his throat and said "Zoya"

Zoya broke apart from the hug and with a huge smile on her face said "Aditya acha hua aap abhi mil gye. Yeh jaane hi wale the. Inse miliye. Yeh Sahir hai. Inse humara nikaah hone wala tha lekin fir inhone huamre sapnon ke baare mein suna aur humare abbu se baat karke rishta tod diya. Tab se yeh humare bohot ache dost hai. Inka ek fashion ka business hai. Aur Sahir yeh humare shauhar hai Dr. Aditya Hooda."

Aditya was already stuck on the sentence "Humara nikaah inse hone wala tha." That little insecurity monster was creeping back in. However he smiled politely and shook hands with him and said "Yahan kaise aana hua?"

Sahir said "Voh mujhe ek meeting attend karni thi toh Maine socha ki Zoya se milta hua chala jaaon. Mujhe nhi pata tha uski shaadi aap se hui hai. I mean last she told me about you was when she had been cornered in the lift by you aur aap uske akdoo aur khadoos boss the." Sahir laughed. Zoya laughed with him. Aditya however didnt find it remotely funny and said "Haan lekin ab main uska akdoo sa pati hoon. Anyway , Zoya chalo lunch kar lete hai."

Zoya said " Oh voh humne kha liya. Sahir khana leke aaye the. I am sorry aap humare liye wait kar rhe the."
Aditya said "Zoya ek baar batana toh chaiye tha na."
Zoya said "Hum batane aaye the. Tab aap ek bohot hi important case mein busy the isliye humne disturb nhi kiya."
Aditya said nothing but his displeasure was visible on his face.
Sahir cleared his throat and said "Hmm. Mujhe chalna chaiye Zoya. Kal milta hoon tumse. He patted her shoulder and nodded at Aditya and left.
Zoya looked happy while Aditya was fighting the monster he didnt want to wake.

Precap: Zoya; Agar Aditya ko pata chal gya iske baare mein toh?
Sahir: Toh ismein galat kya hai. Agar pata chal gya toh acha hi hai. Thoda prepared ho jayega.
Zoya:Agar unko yeh sahi na lage toh?
Sahir: Toh usmein uski problem hai. Yeh sab sahi hai Zoya. Fikar mat karo. Main hoon na ab tumhare saath. Main sab sambhaal loonga.
Zoya:Agar Aditya ko ek second ke liye bhi pata chal gya ki hum aapke saath iss wakt hai toh pata nhi kya hoga.
Sahir: Kuch nhi pata lagega. Aisa hum pehli baar thodi kar rhe hai.
Main toh bohot khush hoon ki main tumse fir mila aur yeh sab wapas shuru hua.

Aditya overhears this conversation and misunderstands Zoya. The monster in Aditya awaits Zoya at home





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