Ocean

I was exhausted. It had been a long week. Despite being two weeks past the engagement party, the word of Hayden's mother still were ringing though my head.
"No woman is silent by choice."

She was right. But I was no Woman. I was but the shell of a girl hidden beneath the flesh that made me an adult. I was a girl. I would never be a woman.
Collapsing onto my bed, I glanced at the time 8 p.m.

Well, might as well got ready for bed, I mused.

I didn't care if it seemed early. I was done. My mind was flooded with pain and memories. I would read a bit before bed, I decided. I didn't bother turning on my alarm thinking I would turn it on after I had gotten ready.
I walked into my bathroom, changing out of the clothing that I had worn today. Tight pair of jeans with fake pockets that had pissed me off more then once today, a dark buttom down shirt and a light tank underneath. I turned around, assessing the damage my father had done to my back. It was black and blue. There was still a bit of blood crusted on there. I took a soft cloth and rubbed it over the parts of the wounds that I could reach. There were cuts that ran in zigzags across my back, small stab looking wounds and bruises all over. I slipped into my pjs. Glancing at myself, I wrapped my arms around me. I looked younger even now. Standing in an oversized tee that hung like a long dress on my skinny body. The shirts that I slept in were my dads. They had always been important to me.

Slipping out my contacts my face lost its focus. Using the cloth, I washed my face, trying not to hurt myself in the process. I reached down to scratch my leg. On the way my hand passed the oldest scar on my body.
It was a jagged line starting just below my kneecap and ending on the back of my heel.
On most days, my scar would be covered in makeup, but today. My jeans had been covering it all day, so I couldn't find the energy to cover it.
Exiting the bathroom, I turned off it light. I left the main light of my room on.
Sitting on my bed I grabbed my book, hoping to read for a bit. I opened to my page and that's all I remember as darkness swallowed me whole.
I stood on a dark road. It was late at night and everything around me was giving off an earlier mist. I found myself walking down the road. I came to a crossing. The world around me had gone silent. I could make out the sound of two car in the distance. Glancing around I saw a peach of flowers to my left. They were a beautiful glowing white. The moonlight reflected off them giving them a haunted look. The fog that was rising off the ground had become slightly thicker and yet it was stillest to see through. I heard a car approaching the crossing. I could also here a large truck coming closer. The car. Was moving the speed limit with a green. I began crossing the street when from beside me came huge semi truck. it was going way over the speed limit and showed not signs of stopping I wanted to. Call out. I tried to call out.... but it was no use. My voice didn't work. the truck bowled thought the smaller car. The car struck me as very familiar. Suddenly I knew it. It was our car. The one my dad owned when I was five.
I stood helplessly as the truck drove forward, crushing the front half on the car. I ran forward trying to save them, but I couldn't.
I could here their dying voices.
First the mother. "Ocean, don't give up."
Then the father, "We love you Ocean."
"Momma? Daddy?" Hearing the little girls voice broke my heart.
Glancing in the window, I saw a little red head girl, large cut on her leg. Her parent were bleeding from many places. Too many to be saved. Too many to survive. They spoke to her in their during voices.
"Ocean..."
"Ocean..."
"Ocean..."
The fading voices followed me as I found myself in the girls eyes. The blood around her was horrifying. The voices left her feeling lost. She wanted to save them.
"Ocean..."
"Ocean..."
They continued as my dream faded.
"Ocean."
The cries of the little girl rang in my ears.
"Ocean."
The calls became stronger.
"Ocean." The voice became different.
"Ocean."
I sat up in bed, tears streaming form my eyes.
I was covered with a blanket; my glasses were off.
"Ocean." The voice spoke again as a hand touched my own.
I grabbed it, holding it as though my life depended on it.
"Ocean it was just a dream." The voice said.
I shook my head. It was more than a dream. It was a memory.
It was part of me.
I couldn't breathe, everything around me was spinning.
Another hand was on my back.
"Ocean your safe." The voice spoke softly.
A single word tumbled from my mouth.
"Hayden."
The tears were streaming; my world was spinning. I reached for the only anchor I had.
"Hayden." My voice was broken, it held sorrow and pain that hurt me.
Arms pulled my close to someone. The bed dipped, meaning someone had sat down.
"I'm here." The voice sent a new wave of tears.
Holding myself close to the body I let it out all the fear. I cried. I cries for my mother. I cried for my father. I cried wishing I were with them or they were with me. The person spoke to me softly.
Every word reminded me of my father. Every touch was my mother.
"Ocean, you're safe." The words were supposed to calm me down, but they only brought my emotions.
I don't know how long I had been sitting with this person, but it took a while for my emotions to stop bubbling over.
All the crying had exhausted me and I had not even realized that the lights of my room were turned off. I lay my ear against the chest, listening to the steady heartbeat.
I felt the person begin to move and I griped them more tightly. I felt the blanket being lifted before being placed down again.
The person that was with my laid down holding me close.
"I'm not going anywhere." He spoke.
I slowly relaxed my grip on his shirt.
He suddenly rolled away and returned only without a shirt on this time. I found myself being pulled close and all I could remember was a voice whispering.
"Goodnight beautiful."