Ocean

My first real thanksgiving in 16 years. It was an eventful one.

Hayden's toast from dinner ran through my mind over and over. I lay on the couch staring up at the ceiling in the dark.

"To friends, and family and the most precious person in my life, Ocean."

I couldn't be the most precious person in his life. I was here for show. That's it.

My father used to call me his precious. I was his doll, his precious, his princess. and mom was his queen.

I miss you mom and dad. I miss you so much. I wish I could see your smiling faces and hear your laughter. Sometimes when I listen to the silence long enough I can. Tears slipped from my cheeks as my heart ached. I miss you but I'll always love you. I got up quietly and grabbed the phone Hayden had gotten for me. I plugged my earbuds into it and sat back on the couch. Popping them into my ears, I opened my phone to find my music. It was the only way I could hear their voices.

Laying back down I buried my face into a pillow to muffle whatever noise escaped as I cried.

My eyes were raw when I woke up; my earbuds tangled up. I took a deep breathe and got up stretching. I took my phone downstairs with me as a went to see how bad the mess was. It was nice and early, so they wouldn't be up for at least another three hours.

I got to work on the dishes that were piled high in the sink. By the time I was finished cleaning the kitchen and Living room, two hours had gone by. It was only 8:30 but I decided to get started on breakfast I pulled out the dough that was left over from the pies. I rolled it out and pressed it into five single serving pie tins. I tucked these into the fridge to set and began to prepare the quiche filling. Cooking up some bacon and cutting up some left-over ham, I cracked 5 eggs and beat them with heavy cream and spices. I tucked the crust into the oven for 5 minutes to start cooking the shells before pulling them out and adding bacon, ham and cheese followed by my egg mixture. Tucking them into the oven, I cleaned the mess I made. The timer went off as a set of footsteps started on the stairs. Pulling the Quiche out of the oven, I set them on the stove to cool and grabbed my phone and made a dash for my library. Luckily the person didn't see my and I made it without issue.

I collapsed into my beanbag chair. Tucking my earbuds into my ears again I let my music play. Listening to my father's deep voice I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead against them.

I love you mom. I love you dad. I miss you mom. I miss you dad. I miss you grandma and grandpa. My eyes burned with tears that couldn't fall.

My lips were chapped and rough. I promised I would be strong but I'm not mom. I'm not strong, I'm scared and weak.

"Hey," Hayden pulled the earbud out of my ear. I glanced around seeing that the door was closed, and it was just us in here.

I looked up at him but dropped his gaze as soon as I noticed the pity. "I just wanted to check that you were ok."

I nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

"Are you sure?" I nodded again and he stood up to leave. "Um they do want so see you before they leave." he spoke softly "so please come out to say goodbye at least." I nodded as he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Taking a deep breath, I began collecting myself, and worked on putting my mask back on.

I left my library and walked down the hallway, unintendedly eve dropping on the conversation.

"Well, I mean a wife that can cook is nice."

"I would trade you but she's so shy."

"Yeah its not normal."

"Is she like..."

"Would you just shut up!"

Hayden yelled and I froze in place, flinching slightly. I stood maybe three feet behind him. my heartbeat quickened.

The silence that had fallen on the room felt heavy.

Vira motioned to Hayden, and he spun around. He was still mad, and I tried to make myself smaller.

When he saw me his anger seemed to melt from his face. "Hi baby." he spoke softly as he reached out and pulled me closer. I took the hesitant step froward afraid of what would happen next.

He pulled me into his chest for a hug. I let him wrap his arms around me and he inhaled nuzzling his face into the top of my head.

"How are you feeling angel?"

How am I feeling? Weak. Sick to my stomach. My head was pounding. My ears rang slightly. My head spun. I felt exhausted.

"Why don't you head upstairs to rest for a bit ok?" It was almost like he read my mind.

I nodded, climbing the stairs, and heading into Hayden's room.

Laying down on the bed, I wished for sleep to come but I simply lay staring at the ceiling.

I heard the door creak open but didn't bother looking up.

"Hey," The soft female voice spoke. "Hayden is quite upset with them right now."

I glanced up as Vira sat down on the bed next to where I lay.

"I brought you a little snack." Vira offered me a cookie from the plate she was carrying.

I sat up, pushing my long messy hair out of my face. I sat cross legged on the bed and carefully took a bite from the cookie.

Vira spoke softly and kindly like my mother used to. I brushed my hair from my face again.

"Hey, if you want I can braid your hair." Vira offered softly.

I hesitated for a moment before nodding.

"Ok ill be right back." She got up and left the room, when she returned, she brought two different brushes and a bag of tiny rubber elastics. "Are you ok with cornrows?"

I nodded, not sure what the meant exactly.

When she finished, I felt a lot better. Vira made a little small talk but for the most part the interaction was silent. The tight braiding against my head felt odd to begin with but it reminded me of when my mother would braid it.

I'm glad I met her; she might be my first real friend.