Ocean

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't be here. Or anywhere for that matter. Like when Vira found me and dragged me over to sit with Nicola and the boys for lunch. I just wanted the floor to open up underneath me and I could fall into another reality. one where I wasn't the main character. One where I didn't need to feel like shit all day everyday.

One where Hayden could truly love me. Somebody could truly love me I corrected myself.

After lunch, I had half an hour to kill before class. Vira dragged me to the library with her. One thing to love about Vira is she is a quiet person unless she has the chance to speak. Her ideas could be very intriguing. Her ideas and opinions were sweet and innocent. It was almost refreshing to hear her speak. She spoke of how she hoped that she could aid people like they had her little brother.

She mentioned some of her favorite books and activities. I took a mental note to look into the books she mentioned. There was something about how kind and gentle she was that put me at ease.

I waved to her as I set off to class and she reminded me, "I'll be waiting in the parking lot for you."

I sat with my head against the window. Nicola sat behind the driver chatting with Vira about her brother. We approached the intersection in front of my work. I had thought one day I would get control of this company. But I never would. Lucas had made it very clear. With my forehead resting against the glass, I closed my eyes, trying to relish the last moments of calm before work.

The car lurched forward meaning the light turned green. I opened my eyes and watched as we slowly rolled into the intersection. The car coming from the right seemed to speed up as we came closer. Before I could react it nailed into the passenger side of Vira's car, sending us skidding into the intersection.

The glass of the window shattered around me as the impact threw me over closer to Vira.

Please. Not again. I thought to myself. Not like this.

I desperately jabbed at my seatbelt as the car door crumpled inward, as if trying to crush me.

If it were only me, I would be ok with it, but I couldn't lose Vira or Nicola this way

Finally, the click of the release let me free as I pulled myself away.

"Ocean? Ocean!"

I looked up to see someone reaching out their hand for me. I grabbed it and they helped me out of the car. They helped me over to the side of the road.

I glanced up at Vira as she checked me over, Nicola next to her.

"Are you ok?"

Before I could nod a scream emitted from the other car. "You Mother Fucking Homewrecker!"

A woman had climbed out of the car and was running toward Vira.

"You have got to be fucking joking." Nicola gasp as she grabbed my arm.

"Hello Tegan." Vira greeted calmly.

The girl threw a punch at Vira. Nicola let go of me, jumping to intercept. I watched as Nicola deafened Vira against the attacker. There were some screams exchanged but I couldn't understand what was said of the roar over the traffic.

The commotion of the three girls drew the attention from me and a rough hand grabbed my shoulder. The grip was tighter then necessary, painfully tight.

I hung my head, waiting for what would happen. My breath held as the noise seemed to be overtaken by eerie tension.

"Inside, now." The stern voice was familiar.

I glanced up at Lucas, whose eyes were trained on the other girls. He let go of my shoulder.

He waited for me to head into the building before following. The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

I glanced back to the girls, but fear clouded my vision. Please, please, please be ok. I prayed in my head. I could suffer but not them. I wasn't the reason for their pain.

Inside the building Lucas sent me upstairs to his office while he spoke with the receptionist momentarily.

Reaching his office, I collapsed onto the extra chair and touched my face. Pulling my hand away it came back covered in blood. I got up and glanced around before hurrying to the bathroom.

I took the time to look in the mirror, grabbing some paper towel to clean up the blood. If I were the only one hurt I was ok. I couldn't be the cause of their pain.

Closing my eyes, I tried to breath. The flashback from that night flew through my mind as I forced my eyes open again.

This time had to be different. Nobody was dead. Yet.

There were three smaller cuts on my forehead. That seemed like the extent of my visible injuries. I had a mild limp from the bruising that was forming on my leg, but I could fake through that pain.

I pressed the paper towel to my forehead to stop the bleeding. I dropped the paper towel in the trash on my way out and made my way back to Lucas's office.

He stood behind his desk leaning heavily on his hands.

I stood in front of him waiting for something, anything. He was going to yell. Closing my eyes I waited.

"What the Fuck were you doing?" Lucas growled in a low tone. his voice was barely over a whisper.

the sound sent chills up my spine. I had never heard him speak like that. I dared to open my eyes and glance up at him.

His sudden movement shocked me, and I flinched away from the item he threw.

A stapler hit the wall behind me. I fucked up. Big time.

Lucas reached over and grabbed the large tape dispenser and let it fly.

I didn't move, letting it nail me in the shoulder. The impact took me down with it. The sharp edge of the dispenser caught the edge of my neck.

Blood dripped from the new wound. A small one, luckily.

"If you draw attention to yourself again I will make you wish you never existed."