This Chapter Includes Self harm and other triggers. Do not read if you are easily triggered.

Hayden

Holding her fragile body against mine was like a dream come true. Had the circumstances been better I would have pulled her even closer, but she was too fragile right now. I could feel her tears soaking through my shirt. Warm blood was slowly seeping through the back of my white tee.

Did I care?

No, not really.

She was safe in my arms.

But the wounds needed to be patched because blood loss would be hard to combat.

I pulled away enough shift one arm away without breaking contact. The way her face was nestled into my neck was adorable. Bending down slightly I wrapped my loose arm under her knees lifting her bridal style.

Walking with her through my bedroom into the bathroom I set her down on the counter before pulling away. Her pale face was red from crying, her eyes puffy and lips chapped.

Every feature on her body seemed to beg for kisses. I bent down trying to find the first aid kit. Pulling it out, I began to clean and cover the wounds on her arms. twelve in total. Seven on one arm and five on the other. I wiped a tear from my eyes.

"You're staying in here for the night." My voice cracked; I couldn't look up at her. I took my time tending to her wounds. Dabbing them with disinfectant one at a time, she winced as I touched the first one. I knew the disinfectant was going to sting her. I needed to clean her wounds, but I didn't want to hurt her. Taking a deep breath, I fought my own tears as I cleaned them up. Wiping the blood off, it reveled very light scars I had never noticed before.

She has a history.

Why didn't I think of that. I thought she was ok.

"Sometimes ok means broken."

It took some effort before I could meet her beautiful eyes. Their breathtaking blue gaze swept over me as I stood slowly. My breath caught in my throat as I looked down at her. Tears were still running down her cheeks, her eyes begged for forgiveness. Her cheeks bright red from the rubbing. Streaks of salt were covering her face from dried tears. Placing my hands on either side of her I leaned down, so we were face to face.

"Why would you do that?"

I don't know why I expected an answer from her. I was just hoping, begging I would get one. All I got was a simple shrug in response.

"You're beautiful Ocean." The words poured from my lips before I could stop them. "You don't need to feel like your worthless. Or useless. Or whatever you feel."

I took shaky breath, trying not to seem angry. I wasn't. I was scared. I remembered hearing my father say the same things. Those were different times. I hung my head avoiding her eyes. It took a second before I could speak again.

"You are stunning. You are amazing. You are strong. You deserve as much as the next person, more even. I know I'm not the one to give it to you, but please let me help you." Those words hurt to say but they were true. She would never except me, and I wasn't ready to tell her the truth.

Finally, after what felt like years, I looked back up at her.

She reached up and wiped the tears pouring from my eyes. Her lips were parted slightly as she avoided my eyes, staring instead at my cheek and chin. Rising my hand to her chin, I lifted it, forcing eye contact. I tried to be gentle as possible as I did so. We held eye contact for what seemed like eternity. Her eyes suddenly flicked to my lips.

I wanted more then anything to press my lips to hers.

I leaned forward slightly our faces were a couple inches apart she closed part of that gap. I turned my head slightly, closing the distance. her lips tasted salty from her tears. I closed my eyes waiting for her to pull away.

Instead, her lips pressed against mine, slowing retuning the kiss, as her arms snaked around my neck. I straightened slightly, resting my hands on her back pulling her into my arms and off the counter.

I broke the kiss trying to catch my breath. Her eyes were closed, slowly fluttering before fluttering open. Her lips were such a luscious pink, begging for more. Gently I kissed her again. Her responded faster this time; instantly her eyes fluttered closed again. Finally, I pulled away, holding her gently against me. Nuzzling my nose into her neck, I found myself smiling.

Placing her down, I let go, missing her body close to mine.

"You can sleep on the bed; I'll take the couch." I disappeared into my closet to grab a blanket, returning to find her curled up shivering on the couch. I covered her with the thick blanket I had in my closet, kissing her forehead gently.

I returned to the closet to grab a clean shirt. After getting changed in the bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror.

Something about Ocean was just so mesmerising. Her grace and her beauty. To think she would ever hurt herself was unimaginable. And yet here we are.

I curled up in my bed, words ringing through my head. "Sometimes ok means Broken." Silent tears dripped down my cheeks as I faded off to sleep.

When I woke, it was well past when my alarm should have gone off, meaning we were late for school. I had my arms wrapped around something small, curled up like a teddy bear. The long hair drifted across my bare chest.

Ocean.

Was.

In.

My.

Bed.

I was mentally freaking out. Scared. No terrified. What happened?

Trying to shimmy away, I struggled to remember last night. Ocean rolled over curling close into my chest; her skin was cool compared mine. I wrapped my loose arm around her looking down at her face. She was looking up at me her blue eyes pleading, arms still wrapped in gauze.

"Sorry." I muttered unsure of what else to say.

She smiled and cuddled closer to me.

I loved the comfort until my stomach let out a growl.

Ocean pulled away from me, and instantly tried to get up. She hadn't even taken a step before she started swaying. I sat up as quickly as soon as I could pulling her back onto the bed.

"Ocean you need to take it super easy today." I spoke softly. "I'll make us breakfast."

Lifting her off the bed I trekked down the stairs to prepare us for today.