It was on the second week of the trip. We had just finished off Paris and other places of France like Bordeaux, Marseille etc. And we landed in Amsterdam. I have never been to the Netherlands before and this was a new country for me. So I was excited.

We stayed in this great five-star hotel. We had separate rooms of course. And I was getting ready for going down to the club nearby the hotel that was said to be really good.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a sequin short dress that clung to my body and enhanced my curves. I looked smoking hot, I thought. If Shiva was here, he would have whistled at me, for fun. He does that sometimes.

But thinking about him made me miss him even more. We had not talked much after that night. I had texted him that I was going on the trip and all he said was 'Okay'. That made me more furious. I was making sure that I click lots of pictures of us during the trip and post it on Instagram. Shiva did not even click like on them. I wanted to show him that I was having fun without him. But I was not sure that he was even checking his Instagram. He might be too busy to even look at his phone...

I walked down to the club. Janvi and Rhea were late. They had told me they will come and told me to go ahead first. So I ordered myself a margarita and waited for them at the counter. I was drinking it when the barman put another drink in front of me. "I did not order this," I said.

"It is a treat from that gentleman over there," The barman said.

I turned to look at the person that the Barman indicated. It was a guy in his early 30s, with a strong build and blue eyes. He was hot. I could not place his nationality. He was caucasian. I smiled at the guy because I felt he was hot.

Then he got up and came to me. Oh!.. I did not mean that to happen.

"Eh... Thanks for the drink." I said, "But I have a boyfriend." I said in English trying to make my stand clear.

"And, I am married." The guy said in English sliding into the seat next to me.

"What?" I asked.

He laughed; it had a nice ring to it. "Joking. Relax..." He said. "And I don't mind that you have a boyfriend. Can't we talk even?" he asked.

"Yeah, we can talk, I guess," I said. He was too hot though... and he was flirting with me with his eyes. I was feeling a bit guilty inside for promoting this. I was not single. Even if Shiva and I were not talking to each other right now, I was Shiva's girlfriend.

"My name is Jasper." He said. "Jasper Reels."

"Samaira Agarwal." I shook hands with him.

"Your eyes are beautiful," he told me. "Or more like you are beautiful..."

I blushed. I mean, it was the way he said it. I could not help but blush. "No wonder you have a boyfriend. The guy is lucky," Jasper added. "I hope he treats you right."

I was about to say 'he does' but then I remembered that he did not really treat me right these days. So I just smiled. Jasper's eyes were still flirting with me. "What do you do?" I asked.

"I am a surgeon." He said.

Doctor? Wow... I was impressed.

"I am here for a conference." He said. "It is over and I was getting bored." He looked at me with interest.

So I began to tell him that I was from India and I was there for a trip with my friends. And I work in my dad's company. And all about myself. Except about Shiva. Jasper was very charming. His laugh was so hot and he was too hot.

I was wondering where Rhea and Janvi were. It had been almost an hour and they were not there yet. So I checked my mobile to call them. Janvi had texted me a wink face and said '😉He is hot... Go ahead'. I frowned at her text. What 'go ahead'?

"So when are you returning?" I asked Jasper. He had mentioned that he was from America.

"Tomorrow," he said. "Where are you staying?"

I told him the hotel's name.

"Hey, I am staying there too. I am in Room 1012." I nodded. "You care for a dance...?" He asked as the music at the club switched to a fast song. I looked at my mobile. It was just 8 pm. And I was getting bored as Rhea and Janvi were not there.

'Please have fun...' Janvi had texted me just a few minutes earlier.

I guess there is no harm in dancing with a guy. It was not like I was kissing him or anything. "Sure..." I said. I will have fun. I went with Jasper to the dance floor. And then we were dancing.

I was drunk. A bit...

It was fun... I did not know what was happening, but I began to miss Shiva a lot. Maybe because I was drunk I was getting a bit horny as well. "Excuse me. Washroom..." I told Jasper and walked to the washroom of the club.

I checked myself in the mirror. I did look hot. I pulled my dress a bit down, exposing my cleavage and clicked a photo of me and sent it to Shiva. It would be 11.30 pm in India now. "Don't I look hot?" I texted Shiva.

He saw the message. And ignored it...

He ignored it. I felt so hurt and sad. I did not know what is happening. Shiva was actually being an asshole. I did not want this anymore.

I walked back to the bar, feeling pretty shitty. Jasper was at the bar. He handed me a tequila shot. "You okay?" he asked. I usually do not drink shots as it gets me badly drunk. But I needed it now. I emptied the shot and took Jasper's hand, "Come, let's dance." I said.

I led him to the dance floor and danced. I wanted to prove something. I wanted to hurt Shiva. So I danced with Jasper closely... He was enjoying it. He pulled me closer and we danced closely. And at a point... we were really close... He was looking into my eyes. And I knew we were having a moment. Jasper's hands were on my waist. His eyes into my eyes... He came closer.

His hands went tighter on my hips...

I realised that I had not pulled up my dress after taking that photo, and Jasper's eyes were hungrily looking down my cleavage. I craved for it. A man's touch and his desire for me.

"You want to come to my room?" He asked me.

I was drunk. But I knew what was happening... A guy, a guy who was not Shiva was asking me if I want to have sex with him. And for some reason, I felt like I want to... So I just blinked at Jasper. I did not answer.

He tucked my hair behind my ears... "I am here till tomorrow. And you know my room number. So if you want it... come to 1012." He had a naughty smile. "I guess I will take off now." He said and walked off leaving me there. He has a confident smile on his face. Like he knows that I will follow him.

I went back to my room. In the hotel. I stumbled in, removed my shoes and lay on the bed. I looked at Shiva's number on my phone. I called him...

"Yeah..." Came his voice. I wanted to melt into that voice... I wanted to be in Shiva's arms. I wanted to feel his lips on my body. Feel his hunger for me. I wanted to jump on him and tear off his clothes and have sex. I wanted to feel his love for me. I wanted us to make love to each other...

I stayed silent.

"Mia?" He asked.

I miss you. I wanted to say. But no sound came out.

"Mia, can I call you later? I am in the middle of something." He said.

I love you – I wanted to say. But no voice came out.

"Mia?" He asked.

"Sure," I told him. "call me later," I said.

"Okay." He said. "Thanks. Good night." He hung up the call.

I got up from the bed.

I remembered mom. And how she left me. I remembered Harsh and how he loved Kashish and not me. Shiva was my anchor... I loved him more than anyone else now. And so... this hurt like hell.

I wanted disaster... I want to burn down this earth. I wanted to wreck myself. I did not care about anything anymore.

I felt sick and tired of my life. I wanted to destroy myself.

So I walked out of the room. And walked down to room number 1012. Barefoot. My head spun because of being drunk. My heart hurt. I pressed the calling bell to the room. Jasper opened it. Jasper had opened the buttons of his shirt. He looked hot.

I walked into the room.

"Knew you would come," Jasper said. I turned to him. He came up to him... and pulled me to him by having a strong hand around my waist. "I am glad you came." He added.

I stayed silent. My mind was on Shiva. I wanted to hurt him.

So I closed my eyes and kissed Jasper.

Jasper's lips began to devour mine. He pushed me down to the bed and got on top of me, while still kissing me. I liked his lust for me. He was impatient. He removed his shirt, while still kissing me and he kissed down to my neck and shoulders.

A fire began to erupt between my legs. I parted them for him. His hardness through his pants pressed down to the space between my legs. I pulled Jasper closer. "Fuck, you are gorgeous..." Jasper gasped kissing my cleavage. I moaned...

His hands cupped my ass and pulled me closer to him, grinding himself over me. He bit my shoulder, hard. And it began to hurt. Not in a good way. This woke me up a bit. What was I doing?

Jasper began to pull my dress up.

Then and there, I froze. I was about to get naked with a guy who was not Shiva. Wait... I did not even know this guy. I did not even know if he carried STD or if he was actually married or not. His hand was tracing my thighs.

And then I thought of the consequences. If I have sex with him... Shiva and I are over. Forever. What was I even thinking??? I just wanted to hurt Shiva. Take revenge. But do I really want things to be irrevocably broken between Shiva and me? No... I will be the one who will be broken if I let this happen.

"Jasper, stop..." I said as Jasper was trying to remove my panties. He did not register that, as I said that softly. "Jasper... Please stop." I said more loudly now.

"What? Why?" He asked, looking up at me.

"I can't do this." Tears came now.

Jasper looked into my eyes. "Is this because of your boyfriend?" he asked.

"Yes," I said.

"He doesn't need to know," Jasper said. "No one needs to know. This can be just a one-time thing. I will be gone by tomorrow anyway... And man, I can't stop now. Here feel this..." He took my hand and placed it over his pants' zipper. "Feel that?" He asked. It was hard. "Damn, I want to fuck you so hard right now..." He began to kiss me again.

But I resisted again... I did not want this anymore. I tried to break free from the kiss. "Jasper, stop... no.." I said. He did not. He held my hand down... "Sh... It's okay. It's okay..." he said to me. "I will be gentle. You will feel good..."

But he was not gentle. His hand holding my wrist down hurt. I began to twist and turn... "Stop," I cried out.

"Why did you come here if you did not want this?" He asked. "It's okay, Samaira... Even you want this. You like this. You want me." He crooned in my ears. While kissing my neck, and grinding himself against my pantie...

"Please leave me," I begged.

"Stay still..." he grunted. "It will be over before you know it..."

He unzipped himself with one hand and pulled his pants down. Tears fell, as I tried to push him off and pull free. But he was strong and he was pinning me down. "Here feel this..." he took my hand and gave it to his dick... "Isn't it long and hard? You will be in heaven. I satisfy my women thoroughly..."

"I don't want this. Please..." I cried. My hand felt like it touched dirt. I did not want to touch it, but he was making me stroke it now and enjoying it. "Would you like to suck it?" he asked. "I so badly want to stuff it down your throat, and fuck your mouth and fill it up with my cum." He grunted.

I felt gross. Dirty... I have always had an aversion to blowjobs. The only thing that makes me want to do it is because I can see Shiva lose his shit when I do that. His expressions and grunt moans are so worth it. I did not want another guy's thing anywhere near my mouth. I would rather die than have that...

"Please... Please leave me..." I cried. Begged... I felt scared. Terrified. And so so bad. But he was not stopping.

"You asked for it when you came here." He said. And pushed my panties down. I began to scream... And then... I was slapped. Hard... Everything hurt like hell. "Shut up, you Bitch." Jasper yelled at me.

But he had left me. In a hurry, I moved back away from him, pulling my panties up. I was crying too badly...

"This is so not fun..." Jasper snapped as if it was my fault. "Such a cock-blocker." He panted, getting up. "Why did you come here if you did not want this?" he asked. "if you were going to scream while we tried to fuck?"

I did not reply. I was just glad that he was off from me. I backed off and sat leaning against the bed post.

"Just get the hell out of here..." Jasper yelled at me.

I nodded and ran out of the room.

My cheek hurt like hell. And everywhere else on my body felt so dirty. I ran into my room. Locked it and went and stood under the shower. And Began to cry...

I cried for hours.

And hours....

Everything felt blank...

I tried to scrub off the dirty feeling from my body.

I lay on the bed, wearing my pyjamas... Still crying. Not able to sleep.

I did not know how much time passed.

I was unable to process anything.

The calling bell was ringing constantly... The phone was ringing too.

And I did not have the energy to walk up and open the door...

I wanted to die.

I wanted to see mamma.

Or not... I could not even face mamma after what happened. Especially not her.

"Sammie..." I could hear Janvi's voice outside. "Open up..."

I did not want to open it. I wanted the time to stop.

I wanted to erase last night.

But it would not go.

"Sammie... Samaira." Rhea's voice.

In a while, they came in. I do not know how... They later told that they got the hotel staff to use a spare key to open it up. They came to me and made me sit up. "What the hell happened?" They asked.

And I began to cry. I could not tell them anything.

"Did someone hurt you?" Rhea asked, panicked. "Are you hurt?"

I was... My cheek still hurt.

"Look at her cheek..." Janvi was saying.

"I want to go home..." I finally mumbled.

The girls looked at me. I looked at both of them. "Please... Take me home." I said.

They looked at me and nodded. They hugged me.