PART TWO 

(From here on The Narrator changes to Samaira)

THREE YEARS LATER

Lonely...

Pretty lonely...

I sat looking out of the window of my room. Today also Shiva is working till late night. I did call him. Then he was like 'Mia, I am doing this for us'. What is for us...? There need to be an 'us' for him to be doing this for us. But ever since he got a job in a corporate, he is busy all the time. There is rarely any time to meet.

He still has not moved away from his tiny apartment in which he has no room for himself. Instead, he sometimes sleeps in the office. Which is ridiculous.

I have a job as well. I have joined as an intern at dad's office. Dad said he won't give me any higher posts in the initial days. That I have to work my way up to the top. But still, I get all the benefits of being the CEO's daughter. People are even scared to ask me to do any work...

So I am double board in the office. I sit looking at my nail paints and new shoes...admiring them... and missing Shiva. I do try to call him at times, but it is either 'Mia, I am busy, I will call you later', or he does not pick up the call at all.

He works on Saturdays as well. And we do meet sometimes on Sundays. But he would be so tired that we cannot even have a proper conversation, let alone sex.

My dad seems all happy about this development. He was roaming around looking like 'I knew this'... He is waiting for us to break up.

I don't know what is up with this world. Everyone expects me and Shiva to break up. I was with Janvi and Reha the other day at the mall, looking at the new Gucci collection. And I was telling them about how Shiva barely has any time to meet me, Jahnvi looking through the new collection casually asked me, "Isn't it high time that you break up with him..."

"Why?" I asked her puzzled.

"Sammie, You are not thinking about marrying this dude, are you? I mean, he is okay to just play around with. But come on... Isn't 3 years enough? You have dated him enough. Move on, babes."

I did not immediately tell her that Shiva had asked me to marry him three years prior itself. She would make fun of us. She would not get the connection which Shiva and I feel for each other. She won't understand that before Shiva came along into my life I was always lonely. Even with these two were with me... I always felt like there is a hole in my life. A hole that mom left... I did not feel honestly loved and cared for.

I tried to fill it up with superficial things and believed that if I could get Harsh to love me, it would be the perfect solution. Until Shiva came and... I was not so lonely anymore.

But what about now though? Now I am lonely again... Shiva is not there for me.

I was asleep when Shiva called. It was almost 1 am. I took the call. "Sorry, did I wake you up?" He asked in a tender voice.

"No..." I lied.

"Sorry, my work finished only now." He said.

"Okay," I said flatly.

"I am still at the office though..."

"Hm..."

"You okay? Are you mad at me?"

"No..." I lied, "Why did you call?"

"Do I need a reason to call you?" He asked, a little bit edging towards irritation. I stayed silent. "Mia?" he called.

"Sorry, I am just a bit sleepy," I said.

"Oh..."

"Shiva...?"

"Yeah...?"

"Nothing..." I said, "Good night..."

"Okay..."

The next morning I was eating breakfast with dad. I was taking the salad when dad asked, "Hm...how is, how is Shiva?" I looked up at him.

"He is good, why?" I asked. I knew why... My dad is waiting for us to break up. He is damn sure that it is eventually going to happen.

"You guys don't meet often nowadays, huh?" He asked...

"He is working hard." I said, "to impress you..." I felt irritated because I felt this is all because of my dad.

So turned back to my toast, and dad mumbled, "best of luck with that..." and chuckled as if saying Shiva can never impress him. And that is exactly the point too. Shiva can move a mountain and dad won't be impressed. He has this prejudice towards Shiva...

"How is Harsh?" Dad asked He still expects me to end up with Harsh.

"I don't know. It's been a while since I saw him last." I said.

"Why don't you throw a party and invite all your friends? Harsh too...."

"Shiva too?" I asked.

"Well, Shiva is too busy, right? He won't be able to make it...?" He asked.

"Are you stating that or hoping that?" I asked.

"I was just saying... don't look at me like that, Samaira?" He grunted as I was staring at him accusingly. "I am your father." I rolled my eyes. "God, this was much easier when Pratiksha was around."

Pratiksha is my mother. "Back then you did not even have time for me..." I told him, "then of course things would be easier for you. Even now you don't have time for me..." Even Shiva does not have time for me. And if things go on like this, I will end up with a husband who is like my dad who will never have time for me and will leave me alone.

"Make me a junior employee in the marketing team."

"No."

"I have been an intern for three months."

"The internship is for six months. And then also I will decide where to put you according to your performance." He said.

I sighed and said.

"I will throw the party..." I said, getting up and leaving my food unfinished, "in the celebration of my misery. HashTag my life sucks."

The party did not seem like a bad idea. I will be less lonely if I am surrounded by friends. So I threw the party a night when dad was out of town. Everyone from college and some from the office too was there.

"Hey... you made it...." I cried and jumped into Harsh's arms. It has been ages since I saw him last. I saw Kashish standing next to him. "Hey, babe..." I turned to her. "You're looking nice." She was wearing a cheap ass dress. But yeah, she looked nice. She was beautiful by nature, not as much as me, but... whatever.

"Is Shiva here?" Kashish asked me.

"Not yet," I said, "But he will come later..." I made him promise that he will come to the party even if it is late. And I was excited to meet him after so many days. I wanted to make him stay overnight, and sleep in his arms. No, it was not sex that I was missing. I was missing just the comfort of his arms around me, and his voice in my ears which soothes me so much.

As the party went on, I was getting impatient. But I did not call Shiva, in case he is in some meeting or anything. I waited. And it was not like I was not having fun. I danced with Rhea and Janvi and had fun after a long while.

Then when it was about 11, I checked my mobile because there was no news of Shiva. Then I noticed the text that he had sent at 10 pm. 'Mia, I am really sorry, but can't make it today. Work. I am sorry...'

What the Fuck!

I walked out of the party while calling him. He picked up the call at least... "What the fuck, Shiva..." I asked, without bothering to let him say 'hello'.

"I know. I am sorry. But I have to write a report that needs to be submitted tomorrow." He said.

"You promised me that you will try to come to the party." I reminded him.

"I know. But what can I do?"

"Do you realise it is been three weeks since we last met?" I asked him. "This feels like I am in a long-distance relationship..." When we are not. When he is in the same city. He did not say anything to that. He stayed silent. I felt like crying... "I miss you," I said miserably. "And I don't want to miss you... I just want to see you." I was on the verge of tears.

"I miss you too," his voice came a bit irritated, "You think, I don't. I do..."

"Why are you getting angry?"

"I am not..."

"Your tone was angry..."

"Don't make this more complicated... I have a tone of work and I don't have time for this right now..." now he sounded actually angry. "Do you think this is easy for me? I am working my ass off here so that we can have a better future."

I was walking upstairs now to my bedroom.

"It is not like I am having a breezy walk in a park," He was continuing, "The work is difficult... I am frustrated and stressed. I wish I could go to your party, not because I want to party, but because I want to see you. But I can't, na? It sucks but I can't."

"Fine..." I snapped. I was angry too.

"Mia, can you stop being such a child for once?" He asked.

"What?" What did he say?

"This is life. This is the real world. Not everyone is born with a golden spoon like you are. Not everybody gets to chill at their dad's company and do nothing. In the real world, freshers like me, have to work their ass off to get somewhere in life."

He was hurting me. A tear fell from my eye. I did not want to continue this conversation. I cut the call and threw the phone on my bed.

I climbed on my bed and drew up my legs, hugged them and cried... Shiva has changed. Or not... He went back to how he was before we came together. I was scared... Did he not love me anymore? Was he doing this just because he promised to never leave me? Just for an obligation?

What if we really fall out of love?

That thought was scary...

I sobbed into my knees.

After a while, I heard a knock on the door of my room. I looked up. It was Rhea and Janvi. "Hey, Sammie..." Reha called me cautiously. "Are you okay, babe?"

I have never cried in front of my friends. The only person I cried in front of was Shiva. And Harsh. So I dried my tears. "Yeah, I am..." I flashed a smile at them. "Why are you here? Are you not enjoying the party?"

"We are... We could not find you. So..." They walked in. They came to sit with me on the bed. "Is this because of Shiva?" Janvi asked me.

I just looked at them. I was still feeling miserable. I controlled my tears.

"Babe, he is not worth it..." Janvi said. But he is though. He is worth everything. They just do not know him as I do.

"I love him," I told them, softly. And a tear fell. Shit!

"Oh, Sammie..." Jahnvi said and hugged me. "He is such an asshole for doing this to you." She said.

"Babe, don't waste your tears on him," Rhea said. "Come downstairs and have fun with us. Show him that you don't need him to have fun in life."

"Yeah," Janvi said. "Men... don't deserve our tears. Have fun in your life, babe. You don't need him to have fun. You know what... let's plan a trip. Just the three of us."

"A trip?" I asked.

"That's a great idea." Rhea agreed.

"How about a Euro Trip." Janvi asked. "I have never gone to many places there."

"Cool," I said. It's been ages since I went to Paris too. "Let's go."

I danced with them downstairs for the rest of the party. And sat and drank with them, planning the trip. But it was in the back of my mind that Shiva had not called me back. I cut the call in the middle of the conversation and he did not bother to call me back and check on me. I was furious at him. So I decided I will just go on the trip and not think about him and have all the fun that I can.

But I did not know that that trip will change my life for the worse... That I would regret some things so much and it will affect me forever.