"You finally made it!" Cana exclaimed. "We were so fucking hungry we just started eating."

"Psst! Cana, language!" Erza scolded but the girl ignored her.

Lisanna was smiling.

But she was looking at everybody but me.

I felt a hand grab mines. I smiled thankfully at Levy. She must've sense my entire uneasiness from the mere presence of my ex-fiancee's new wife.

"Sorry. There was an accident by the highway where we live so traffic was backed up pretty badly." Mira proceeded to apologize. "But we had to come and formerly welcome back our new striker."

I didn't miss the little hint of hurt in Lisanna's blue eyes.

The guilt was becoming way too much now. With everything that has been happening, taking her starting spot as striker was something I didn't even think of. How thoughtless could I be? She's been in the position all year and all of sudden I come home just to snatch it away from her.

I guess I really am just a terrible person.

Mirajane and Lisanna finally sat down...directly across from me.

"Welcome home, Lucy." Mirajane was all smiles. Of course she would be. From what I learned earlier, her wedding is a mere three months away. 

"Thanks. It's nice to be home." I forced. 

It really is, don't get me wrong. There's just a lot of things eating away at me.

"Aren't you guys gonna eat something?" Cana asked.

Mira shook her head. "We have a dinner to get to with the boys in a bit."

"Yeah. Natsu is excited." Lisanna suddenly said. 

The tension suddenly built. Before, the girls were really careful with what they were saying; not one slipping up and saying his name. So even the sudden appearance of his name was enough to throw everybody off balance. Mira even tried to give her sister a look to tell her to watch herself. 

But Lisanna's eyes, suddenly, became so interested in me.

I couldn't meet them. I just stared at my sandwich sitting in front of me half-eaten.

"What restaurant is it?" Levy said, attempting to alter the conversation a bit. "Gajeel and I would love to try new food any time."

"It's this hot-pot place with like ten different levels of spicy soups. Natsu was gushing about it so much this morning that we decided to make it a double date, isn't that right Mira?" 

Mira looked nervous. Her eyes darted at me real quick before returning back to her sister. "Um, yeah. I'm sure he'll enjoy it very much."

I thought the onslaught was done. Just so much as hearing his name was enough to tear my heart but what Lisanna continued doing was just beyond that. 

She kept talking about how much of a good husband he is; how he wakes up every morning to make her his signature breakfast. I know! How he makes his pancakes. 

I know!

I used to be the one that wakes up, throws on his shirt and find him in the kitchen with his dark red boxers flipping pancakes for us. I was that woman he would beam brightly at and give me exactly two and a half because he knew that was the exact amount I can eat to be full. 

He knew how I preferred orange juice over coffee for breakfast and how I only love chocolate chips in my pancakes. I don't eat it with butter and I only like the Log Cabin syrup drenching the fluffiness of the cakes.

He knew I liked to lazy around until the sun was high up in the sky before I started my jogs and my sprints. He was my partner, sweating right beside me as we ran the five miles from my apartment to the stadium and back three times. 

Then after, we would just cuddle on the couch enjoying whatever is on Netflix or if I'm feeling it, firing up the two consoles on the two TVs to play some Rainbow Six: Siege.

I don't need to hear him doing that with another woman. I always thought it was something special for just us but I guess it was just childish thinking. 

"Stop it, please." I'm fighting. I'm fighting a war with myself to stop any sort of tears from coming. 

But if this keeps coming.

No treaty signed will be enough to stop the victory of my feelings from winning.

"That's enough, Lis." Erza suddenly snapped.

Lisanna stopped smiling on cue. Her face grew cold and she just stared at her captain. "Enough of what?"

Oh she's playing dumb now.

"What exactly are you here to accomplish anyways?" Titania continued. "I called this brunch together to welcome Lucy back into the team but instead you choose this of all times to tell us what kind of shampoo he uses for his hair."

Lisanna just shrugged. "Well, I'm sorry I love him so much that I want to share it with my friends."

"But you know exactly what's it doing to Lucy so why would you?" Erza wasn't done. "It makes no sense."

"Because she deserves it." The snow-haired girl growled. 

Yeah, I really do.

"No one deserves to have a broken heart stomped on." Erza just shook her head. "Especially by one of their own friends."

"I don't get why you guys feel so sorry for her anyways!" She finally blew her bubble. She's lost it.

Lisanna finally lost it. "She left her own fiancee to care for himself when he was in the worse part of his life to do what? Travel the fucking world and become the name everybody speaks about? That's selfish and just stupid. Natsu needed her and she left him. You remember how he was for almost six months that the treatment almost didn't work because his heart was always in so much pain and stress! Now, you sit here and defend her like she did something so fucking noble by getting scouted by some high-end FC."

"Lis -" Mira tried to intervene.

"No. The code we all made for Fairy Tail is we're a family. We stick together no matter how far apart we are or how close. Tell me when any of you got one phone call from her during her time in bigger fame. She forgot about all of us. She didn't even check in ONCE during Natsu's treatment. So no, I'm not welcoming her back into the Fairy Tail with open arms. You might think I'm jealous she took my starting position but that the last thing on my mind at the moment."

Then she finally spoke to me; her voice laced with venom enough to kill a six foot man.

"Especially when I entrusted her with taking care of him and she completely betrayed my trust." 

With that, Lisanna Strauss-Dragneel grabbed her purse and stormed away from our table in utter silence. Mira was the first to speak up and that was just to apologize to me profusely for how Lisanna is acting.

"I really don't know what's gotten into her. She promised she wouldn't bring anything with Natsu up but I don't know what's gotten over her."

I was able to finally find my voice to say. "It's okay. It's not your fault. Besides, all she said was true."

"If you keep thinking that way, I might as well join the anti-Lucy club." Cana interjected. "We know you don't call us because we know you feel guilty to leaving. We know you're constantly busy with promoting Adidas or something. Fuck, you might be all the way in Antarctica one morning and back in Spain the next. We are not fucking mad at you for anything. We accepted that you got out and you had your fun. Now that you're back, you mean business and that's all that matters."

I looked at her and Cana's face softened. "So stop being so damn hard on yourself because I don't think anybody at this table or Fairy Tail are angry with you. Lisanna and Natsu will get over it. There's no need to worry anymore about any of us hating you, alright?"

Everybody nodded their agreement. Everybody looked at me and I felt Cana's words come to life. 

I'm not hated for leaving. 

I hurt Natsu for not taking him with me but that's because he needed to stay to be monitored. I would've done anything back then to jump on that one-way trip to Barcelona with my one and only by my side.

But I couldn't.

I can never be mad at Lisanna for acting the way she did because back in high school from the day she found out about Natsu and me, she was nothing but supportive. 

That outburst was needed. 

It's enough to light my ass on fire to make sure I do everything I can to rekindle everything I left behind. I know I will always have the friendships I formed from day one. That's never going to change no matter what happens.

I just need to get two more to understand that as well. Even if it means I have to clench my teeth and hope them forever happiness.

I will do just that.

Since that is a punishment I deserve.

~

Natsu Dragneel

I woke up the moment the clock stroked 3; a little more sweaty than usual.

That's most likely because of the stupid dream I keep having. 

It's like...I'm back in my hospital bed for those months I was receiving treatment for my stupid heart. It was a risky treatment so I really didn't have all that much hope of making it through. I always just thought that was it for me.

Left with a forever broken heart on my deathbed all alone since I really don't know how to love anybody else like I loved her.

It just sucked a lot for me, I thought. I wasn't good enough for her to take with her and I would only hold her back if I went. 

I blamed her for being so miserable.

Yes, Lisanna was there. She was there the moment Lucy left. She knew how I was in my most depressed state and she stayed.

I cried for hours for another woman and Lisanna was still able to say she loves me. How can I leave her alone on this Earth now?

So I fought through the treatments and it was all a success. I realized then that Lisanna is the woman I should be with. She was with me when I needed someone the most and that was enough to prove to me she will stay with me no matter what.

But I keep having this same fucking dream.

There's someone in a hoodie coming in my room late at night when Lisanna goes home. The person had the touch of a woman if I remember correctly.

Ugh!

It's frustrating because she always chose to come when I'm the most sedated and...I don't know. I guess I was just so desperate for someone to be there with me at nights when I'm left alone I must've created her in my mind. Whoever she was, I guess she can really be named my savior.

I never told anyone since it just made me seem like a complete crazy idiot who can't be by himself. 

If I could calculate correctly, it was like once a month or something. So whenever the month was over, I always anticipated her arrival. It was never the same day. It was always some random day but each time there's a new month cycle, I knew she was coming.

Even now that I'm completely healed, I still dream about her.

Was that all she ever was?

A dream I projected on myself because I was so lonely?

"Natsu?" Lis' tired voice caught my attention. "You okay, honey?"

I reached over, stroking her face. "Yeah I'm fine. Just need some water. I'll be back."

Kissing her on the forehead, I went downstairs to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of something stronger to wash down the guilt.

I don't tell Lisanna because I know how insecure she can be; especially when it comes to Lucy. So her husband dreaming about some cloaked woman that used to visit him in the hospital is only going to make that insecurity worse.

No.

I need to keep this to myself until all the drugs finally clear out of my system and my mind is clearer. This whiskey isn't helping at all though.

My phone vibrated on the counter where it was charging. Taking another swig, I picked it up.

"Dragneel residence." 

"Oh, you are up. Sorry if I woke ya." My brother's annoying voice filled my ears.

Great. Just what I needed.

Please note the sarcasm.

"What is it this time, Big Bro?" 

"So I was just up looking at some of your medical records or whatnot..."

"That's some sort of violation but I know you really don't fucking care so do continue." I need more whiskey just for that statement.

I love my brother. Don't get me wrong.

But the guy doesn't know the definition of the term: "boundaries".

"I was just wondering why you paid for everything?" 

I choked. "Excuse me?"

"It says that our money was never accepted and that someone else paid for it. So I'm just assuming you or our in-laws did."

Would Lisanna actually pay off everything. It was a treatment that cost more than $100k and with the job she was holding at the time, she never would've had enough. Could she have asked her siblings to help?

No, that's not possible either. With Fairy Tail on hiatus, there was no way Mira and Elfman could've just had spare money laying around. And that just rules out everybody else in Fairy Tail as well.

"Does it say who?"

"If it did, would I have called you? Think a little bit, brother."

"Hey shut up! I'm just in shock, alright?"

How can a hospital bill come up like this? They should at least have someone's name on the credit card the swiped.

"How'd they pay?" I asked.

"Part in cash and the rest in check." 

"Then we need to get that check."

"No we don't. Look, I love you and all but I don't need no damn felony on my name."

"Well, how else are we supposed to thank this cloaked person?!"

"Wha?"

Shit. I slipped up. "I mean as in the person behind the cloak paying for my damn hospital bill like I couldn't afford it."

"You couldn't afford it."

"You know what I meant."

"Well, I'll call the financial office in the morning so for now, you get some rest. Remember, first day of practice tomorrow."

Right.

Back on the pitch in cleats, wearing the Fairy Tail training jersey again for the first time in a year.

Just like the good old times.

Only this time, my striker isn't someone I want there.