Morning is peacefully quiet in the forest. That's the first thing I observe when my conscious mind awakens. I roll over in bed, eyes still closed, and reach for my boyfriend. I find an empty space. Then I open my eyes. And my gaze fixes on a wooden wall. I whip around and find that instead of a tent in the middle of the pine forest in Not Quite Heaven, I'm in my bedroom at the cabin. I sit up and angrily kick the covers onto the floor as tears begin to sting my eyes.

"No!" I shout in frustration. All the miles we put in yesterday, as close as we might have been, it was for nothing. We were brought back. We can't leave. I eye the stupid lamp on the nightstand and feel a sudden hatred for it. I slap it with all my might and it falls to the floor with a resounding shatter.

Mere moments later, the door opens and Sawyer bursts through, his hair a mess as though he just rolled out of bed and is likewise clothed in his hiking outfit from yesterday.

"Autumn?" He questions, concerned.

"We're back at the cabin!" I shout, throwing my arms out. "We-we got reset! We can't leave!"

He glances around as if he had yet to notice. "Oh."

"I don't want to be stuck here! I don't-" I sink down on the edge of the bed and squeeze my eyes. "I don't want to be dead. I want my dirty bedroom and homework and my crappy life back. This can't be it. Sawyer, it can't be over."

He sits down beside me and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "I know, babe. I wish there was something I could say that would help."

"What is this place?! It's not Heaven! Heaven is supposed to be peace and happiness, and all I've been is in pain and tears. Why aren't you upset? Don't you want another chance at life and to see your family again?" I ask Sawyer, incredulous at his lack of emotion.

"I didn't have any hope to begin with. I guess this place has just made me numb," he shrugs. "I'm just...here, you know? Purposeless."

"I wish I could go numb," I mutter as I wipe my tears away.

"You have to accept this as your fate," Sawyer says.

I shake my head, defeated. This feels as close to acceptance as I can get.

"We can try it one more time if it'll make you feel better," Sawyer suggests.

"Why bother? We'll get reset the next day."

"Well...maybe not if we stay awake."

I give him a funny look. "Stay awake? There's no telling how many days it'll take us just to get out of the forest."

"Maybe we don't need to sleep here. We haven't tried to neglect our human needs. I don't see why we would need them in the afterlife. It's not like we can starve to death."

I feel a lightbulb switch on in my head, and suddenly I feel a newfound hope. "Sawyer, that's a great idea!"

He grins. "What do you say then? One more time, go for the gold?"

"One more time." I nod with a smile and wipe the tears from my eyes.

Suddenly, a strange feeling, like pins and needles, hit my extremities. I stretch my hands in an attempt to make them feel normal again, and then I realize what's happened. I scowl.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer asks.

"My hands are going numb."

He smirks. "Careful what you wish for."

"I really, really wish a portal would open up right here and now that would take us back to the real world," I declare.

He and I wait for something to happen, but nothing does.

"Guess it can't be that easy," he says.

Mid-afternoon the same day, after we've enjoyed long showers and a hot meal, we prepare and leave our cabin for the second time. There's no point in beating around the bush. We have a few minutes of debate about which direction to go this time, and we come to the agreement to go north today, which is directly behind the cabin. There's a saying that if you follow the North Star, it will lead you home. Neither of us could identify it in the sky, but north is north. The plan for this go around is to go until we can't go anymore - which hopefully won't be until our after-living legs give out.

Sawyer's the pack mule for the backpack again, and like last time, we head off into the mouth of the forest that has swallowed us. We move along rather quietly as the day and miles pass, stopping occasionally for rest and snack breaks. I find myself internally struggling on whether or not I feel actual hunger - because that would be a sign that we still have needs. With my stomach growling at me, I tell myself: like Sawyer said, it's not like we're going to starve to death.

I find myself wondering: what if we do make it out of the forest? What if it's just more of this alternate reality? What if there is no way back? There's no guarantee this is going to work, but all I know is staying in that isolated cabin isn't going to get us anywhere.

Night number one falls, and we have a campsite set up by dark. There's a fire but we didn't pitch the tent since we won't need it. Instead, we just spread a sleeping bag across the ground near the fire and sit on it, cuddling into one another and waiting for daylight to continue on.

We eat, talk, and play mind games for the first few hours, until eventually we retire to quiet boredom. Sitting there in the dim glow of star and moonlight, I realize I don't think I ever sat and did nothing for such an extensive amount of time in my life. I don't recall ever being this bored. Just for the sake of moving, I get up to grab another log from the pile for the fire.

"What are you doing?" Sawyer asks.

"Throwing another log on."

"I just put one on about twenty minutes ago."

"I know, but I wanted to move. How do you feel?"

I begin doing some stretches.

He answers, "Like a mushroom."

Oddly, I understand what he means. 

"You?" He asks.

"Same," I answer. "I'm not sure if I'm tired of being bored or just tired. Or both."

He too moves to get up.

"I'm going to go pee. I'll be right back."

He stomps off into the darkness. I yawn and continue my fireside yoga for the next few minutes.

"Autumn?"

The disembodied voice of my mother suddenly echoes out again. I snap upright and glance around. Again, I see nothing. 

"I'm here!" I call desperately. "Mom?"

There's no response. To my left, I hear the crunching of leaves getting progressively louder as someone approaches. Sawyer emerges into the light. He eyes me confusedly. "What's wrong?"

I shake my head. "Nothing." I don't want to admit my hearing things. If he was hearing voices, he would've told me already. I think. As much as I want to believe my mom is attempting to make contact with me through the veil, I know I'm probably losing it.

I have no idea how many more hours we sit, waiting for daybreak, but I do know that by dawn's early light, we are both feeling the full effects of the all-nighter. Sawyer is the one to speak up first.

"Autumn, I hate to say it, but I don't think this is going to work. We're both sleepy and I'm starving. Apparently, we still have to look after ourselves. I think we should call it and go back to the cabin."

"We could be close to the edge of the forest. We could make it out today," I argue. "Let's keep going for today and we'll see where we are by nightfall. We're going for the gold, remember?"

He caves and nods his head, though he looks a bit disappointed. "Yeah. Okay, babe. We'll go until we can't anymore."

"Thanks. It's light enough to see where we're going. Let's get an early start for the day."

"Sounds good. I can't take sitting here any longer, anyway. I'll pack up. You put out the fire," Sawyer says.

We prepare to leave and then begin the next leg of our hike continuing north, holding flashlights to illuminate the path ahead. In his free hand, Sawyer munches on a granola bar like a squirrel.

We see no sign of civilization or the opening of the forest as we drag our carcasses onward throughout the morning. The bit of hope and determination I've been running on is slowly dissolving into anger. Somewhere in the hours of high noon, Sawyer and I crest a large hill. We stop on the peak of it to catch our breath and gaze into the distance. The trees open up enough to see the earth rolling onwards in front of us. My jaw goes slack at the sight. 

There is no civilization. No roads. No signs of life. Just god damned trees and mountains, sprawling on in the distance. I knew we were in for a journey, but this? This looks like something straight out of Lord of the Rings. It's as if we're Frodo and Sam, on our own impossible, hopeless quest.

Sawyer's knees buckle and he falls to the ground in defeat. My gaze is locked on the distance as my mind shifts into overdrive trying to process it.

"There's no way," Sawyer mumbles, shaking his head. "We'll never make it out. Heaven, Earth...Hell- it doesn't matter where we are. This is it. I'm sorry, Autumn."

I shake my head, unable to find words to respond. A heavy weight presses upon my shoulders, and I sink to the dirt too. It isn't acceptance, like in Sawyer's truck the moment before the lights went out. It's defeat. We sit silently for a long moment. A tree branch above me shakes, and I watch an eagle soar off into the sky. And then a quote from a grey-bearded wizard comes to mind: "Fly, you fools!"

"Sawyer," I breathe, pupils dilating as an idea forms in my head. "I wish we could fly."

He looks at me, eyebrows furrowed. "What?" 

"Fly, you fools." I quote Gandalf. It takes a few seconds, but I see the realization register in Sawyer's expression.

"Oh my God. We could fly!" His eyes widen.

We scramble to our feet and I yell into the air, "I wish we could fly!"

Sawyer and I stare at each other, waiting for my wish to be granted. I'm not sure what he has in mind, but I'm expecting fairy wings to sprout from our backs. Thus, when nothing happens, our expressions fall again.

"What gives?" Sawyer asks no one in particular. "Where's the helicopter, huh? Maybe a blimp?" He starts yelling into the distance. "How about you turn us into pigeons so we can fly ourselves!"

While Sawyer curses at the powers that be, I contemplate what the rub is. All my wishes so far have been granted, even ones I don't state aloud, like my Seagram's surprise. Of  course, alcohol and chocolate were simple creature comforts. A backpack can't hurt anything either. Could it be possible that the wish didn't take? Could the wishes not be used as a loophole to break out of this prison?

I test my abilities - closing my eyes, meanwhile Sawyer is still ranting, and the first thing that pops into my mind is a toasted steak and cheese footlong sub from Subway. Why am I always wishing for food? It would definitely be nice if one of those fell out of a tree, though. I open my eyes just in time to see a paper-wrapped footlong come tumbling to the earth. It whacks Sawyer in the head on its way down.

"Ow!" He winces and looks down. "What the heck?"

I pick up the sandwich. "I can still make wishes."

"And that's what you wished for?" He stares at me incredulously, rubbing the top of his head. "Why don't you turn us into birds so we can fly off into the sunset?"

"I don't want to turn into a bird!" I scoff. "I have to truly want what I wish for." 

"Oh." He gives me an understanding nod. Deep down, he wouldn't want to be a bird either.

I shrug. "Maybe the wishes can't be used as loopholes to leave. I don't know."

Sawyer sighs. "Realistically, I think growing wings was our only shot. Even if a plane came down through the trees, we wouldn't know how to fly it, unless it came with a pilot too."

I throw my arms up in defeat and turn my face to the sky. "Can a plane come down through the trees with a pilot and land safely on the ground to take us home?"

Of course, I am ignored again.

 "What are we going to do, Sawyer?" I toss the warm sub sandwich onto the ground.

He wraps his arms around me for comfort. "We'll just keep on until we can't go anymore."

"We're not going to make it out on foot. We'll fall asleep and reset."

"If we do, then we do. At least we'll have given it our best shot. There won't be any more wondering. That was the plan when we left, wasn't it? Either we make it out or we accept that it's impossible."

I nod.

He replies, "Now, first thing's first. How about we split that sandwich before it gets cold?"