soyi gaped at the amount of food the group had prepared in such a short amount of time. jaemin and lin admitted to running to a restaurant after the fact, but soyi didn't care. she sat between mark and yuxi, her smile permanently etched into her rosy lips.

daniel laughed at something haechan said before turning to face sosuke with a suspicious eyebrow raise. "what's in your eggnog, anyway?"

"death," jisung deadpanned from his spot across soyi.

"bad dreams," miles chimed, unable to look up.

the corner of sosuke's mouth tugged into a grin as he happily sipped his eggnog. "just some spices and alcohol."

"and every horrible image you can generate in your mind," yuxi added with a small laugh.

hyeyeong shrugged and continued drinking the eggnog as well. "lightweights," she commented with a small smirk.

as soyi dug into her food, she paused when she felt a little nudge to her left. glancing up, she smiled when mark said, "congrats on your win, by the way. chenle and i agree that there should have been, like, a prize or something for first."

"i don't mind," soyi said, simply happy with the fact that she was able to beat both chenle and miles. "and thank you."

the dinner was so full of laughter and conversations that soyi was never 100% sure what was going on, but she was more than a little happy to be there. she even managed to catch chenle's eye a few times since he was sat a bit away, and the last time their gazed locked, he shot her a quick wink that left her blushing into her mug of cocoa.

mark's little jabs to the side didn't help as soyi tried and failed miserably to stay subtle, but he didn't say much.

once everyone was finished, hyeyeong and jiae smiled widely as they brought out a large white sheet cake and multiple bags of colorful frosting. when miles's raised a brow, jisung explained to him that during christmas, some families have traditions where they decorate cakes with their partners and loved ones. miles definitely did not tear up at the idols thinking of them as loved ones, which certainly didn't set yuxi off next.

after many... many "i love you guys"s, the large group migrated to the couches to listen to seasonal music and play games. the various amounts of alcohol in everyone's system made the latter all the more interesting.

soyi sipped her glass of rosé as those willing to participate moved aside to play truth or dare. the only ones who wanted to watch movies instead was jiae and haechan (more haechan so that he could watch over his girlfriend, who was dozing off in his arms).

yuxi leaned forward first with an evil little grin as her eyes landed immediately on eunjin. "truth or dare?"

"dare," eunjin replied without hesitation as she finished off her glass of rum.

a quick pout fell on yuxi's face, followed by a huff. "aw, i wanted you to say truth. oh well! i dare you to tell us who your nct dream bias is!"

chuckling, eunjin scanned the room and tapped a finger against her chin before settling on one, eternally blushing man. "jeno. followed by haechan, if i have to pick two."

miles and yuxi squealed as they pulled on each others limbs, heads flicking between an amused eunjin and an awkward jeno who could stop smiling or touching his hair. "ah, th—yeah, um, thanks?"

still grinning, eunjin used the bottom of her empty glass to point at him. "truth or dare, jen."

"truth," jeno replied, hesitant after seeing the growing smile on the woman's face.

"tell us about your first kiss."

gasps and cheers were smattered around the room as heads turned to fall on jeno's bright red face, evoking a large "cute!" from mark.

taking some time to gather his thoughts, jeno pulled his knees up so he could rest his clasped hands on them. "um, i don't remember a whole lot. i'm pretty sure it was in middle school, when i was still a trainee." he paused to shrug. "i didn't really like her, but she was nice and liked me and i wanted to say that i'd kissed someone before dedicating all my time to sm."

eunjin nodded and soyi pursed her lips as the urge to pat the idol's back became almost overwhelming. thankfully, someone else had a similar idea.

"your turn, jeno!" mark cried after tackling the male to the ground in a giant hug. jeno let mark continue holding him as he glanced at daniel, who was sitting cross legged with hyeyeong's hand tucked warmly between his.

"daniel. truth or dare?"

daniel hummed as he thought for a moment before saying, "truth."

after a brief pause, jeno gestured to hyeyeong, who was trying to subtly watch the movie instead of play with the others. soyi guessed sosuke's eggnog was starting to hit her as it hit jiae. "how did you and hyeyeong meet?"

a safe question that drew some groans from the group, especially after hearing something like a first kiss, but daniel only smiled thoughtfully as he glimpsed over at his fiancée.

"i was working at a library back then, and she'd always come in with jiae after her shifts. i'd sneak her discounts when she wasn't paying attention, or we'd share book recommendations when she'd check out, but i thought she had the most beautiful smile i'd ever seen."

"hye? smili—oof!" chenle was cut off when lin elbowed him in the stomach, her gaze focused on the smiling storyteller.

"so, i gave her my number one day, and after a few, i realized that maybe she was just being nice and wasn't really interested in me like that. it wasn't til i think a week or two later that i saw her again, and she confessed that she'd lost my number and was too embarrassed to come back and ask again. so, i wrote it on her arm so she wouldn't lose it, again."

yuxi let out a dreamy sigh. "i love that story."

daniel, still smiling, faced the group and nodded. "i didn't know asking her out would get me here," he gestured to the idols with the wave of his hand, "but i wouldn't change a thing."

"how are you real?" miles mumbled aloud as daniel grinned and pointed at the idol closest to him. "jaemin! truth or dare?"

"dare," jaemin hummed with narrowed eyes.

"i dare you to finish the rest of sosuke's eggnog." thankfully there wasn't much left, but jaemin would definitely sleep well.

he nodded as if accepting the challenge and mixed the remainder of the eggnog together before chugging it. the group cheered and lin kept a steady hand on his thigh as he tipped the empty glass over his lap to confirm he'd completed the date.

"next!" jaemin grinned wildly as he scanned the room. "i want to know somebody's celebrity crush," he cackled before honing in on soyi when she avoided his gaze.

"soyi~" he sang, and there was no way for her to avoid how red her face was. "celebrity crush, please~"

her mind went into overdrive. the alcohol was compromising her ability to lie as she stammered for an answer. don't say chenle, don't say chenle, you can't say chenle. when she looked up, her eyes instantly met chenle's.

fuck. "jaehyun," she breathed after some struggle to get her thoughts aligned with her mouth.

chenle shot her a knowing look over his glass as miles gave her a playful shove. "what?! that's not a secret. plus, he's single again!"

"and in the military," jisung added with a smal sigh.

soyi mimicked the tone. "i hate being a military wife."

the girl zoned out a bit after that since she wasn't picked again, and eventually went to cuddle into hyeyeong's other side so they could finish the movie together. she ignored the wag chenle's eyes followed her as she got up, and ignored the little jaehyun jabs from miles when she sat down.

eventually, she was fast asleep under hyeyeong's arm.

miles
what are you doing

chenle
hello ??

chenle
i'm sitting like two feet away from you

miles
i mean with SOYI

miles
because i may have totally accidentally
spotted a notification on your phone from
someone named ailian and jisung confirmed
it's the same one you ditched my girl for

chenle
accidentally

miles
i thought your phone was mine

chenle
my phone is bigger than yours

miles
I GOT CONFUSED OKAY

miles
IM DRUNK

miles
NOW SPILL MISTER

chenle
WHAT IS THERE TO SPILL

miles
WHY HAVENT YOU MADE
A MOVE TONIGHT

chenle
BOY

chenle
we have a date planned for
when we get back 🤩

miles
okay that's cool but what
about RIGHT NOW

miles
look at her sitting all
by her lonesome 🥺

chenle
😒 she's sleeping dipshit

chenle
yk im not a fan of meddlers

miles
what????? no way???? i'm shocked???

chenle
i hate you

miles
same plus you stink 😝😝

miles
just don't hurt her feelings again or i'll
tell fans you don't brush your teeth

chenle
🙄
i won't

miles
i'll believe that when i see it

"do any of you have some extra mouthwash? i forgot mine," soyi huffed as she rummaged helplessly through her travel bag. yuxi hummed in her sleep, which probably meant no, and jisung and miles were too engaged in gaming on their phones to respond.

sighing, the girl checked the time on her phone. it was almost 2 am, but she was fairly certain that at least half of the idols were still awake due to their hectic schedules.

soyi padded anxiously across the hall, raising her hand to knock as she slowly pushed into chenle's room. she knew he always packed way too much, so knowing he was likely to have some, she figured it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"chenle?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper when she realized that both jiae and haechan were fast asleep and snuggled together in the bottom bunk. soyi debated taking a picture before focusing on the task at hand.

unable to see clearly in the dark, she stepped closer to the bunks to get a better look. "chenle?"

"soyi?" someone asked in a groggy voice, and soyi's heart dropped when she recognized it as mark.

she shot a quick glance at the top bunk, since mark was apparently on the bottom, and didn't see any light from chenle's phone to indicate that he was awake. so, soyi inched a bit closer and kept her voice low as she asked, "do you have any extra mouthwash? i left mine at home."

stifling a yawn, mark sat up and rubbed his head with a nod. soyi politely looked away when the light from his phone revealed the spider-man t-shirt and plain boxers he'd fallen asleep in, and a moment later he was holding a little bottle out for her to take.

"all good?" he asked once she grabbed it, and soyi flashed a quick thumbs up before hurrying out a thank you and speed-tiptoeing out of the room.

she closed the door as quietly as possible before resting her head against it, hoping the shiver that shot through her was only due to nerves.

—

renjun inhaled shakily, looked at his dripping face once more in the mirror, and turned the light off before leaving. he'd woken up suddenly due to a nightmare and stumbled out of bed, sure he'd lose dinner, but managed to breathe through it.

he hoped his rummaging hadn't awaken his temporarily roommate and felt his heart drop when he opened the door and saw that the lamplight between their beds was on.

sosuke was propped up against the headboard, covers in a rumpled puddle around his waist and thick yellow string knitted in his fingers. when he noticed renjun, he looked up with a brief nod. "everything okay?"

"um, yeah," renjun mumbled as he crawled back into his own bed. "just a dream."

sosuke was quiet for only a moment. "do you want to talk about it?"

it was renjun's turn to be quiet. he didn't want to relive whatever mess just happened in his head, but his therapist told him that talking it out would help. plus, he liked talking to sosuke. so renjun told him about the consuming darkness and the struggle to breathe as it drowned him. all his anxieties and worries and thoughts of criticism.

it was several minutes, perhaps even an hour before he finished talking, and sosuke didn't look away or speak until renjun nodded that he was done.

finally, sosuke opened his mouth. his voice hadn't changed, but it sounded different, softer, in renjun's ears. "will you be able to fall back asleep, or are you just going to stare at the ceiling again?"

renjun choked on a laugh and ran a finger along the soft fabric of his rudolph pant leg. "stare at the ceiling, probably."

with a curt nod, sosuke was suddenly shifting away from renjun's bed, and when the idol looked over in confusion, sosuke only tapped the space he'd made. "you can watch me get this knot out, then," he said as he held up the ball of yarn in his hands.

renjun's chest filled with warmth as he stared at the empty space sosuke had made for him, but the man didn't say anything else as he turned his attention back to the ball in his hands. he probably wouldn't say anything else for the night, and before renjun knew it, be was tucking himself into sosuke's side, careful not to touch him and disrupt his focus. 

he tried to stay awake, but the warmth and the quiet rustling of sosuke's yellow yarn made his eyes heavier and heavier. renjun woke up facing sosuke's back and watched his shoulders rise and fall for several moment before realizing for the first time in weeks... he hadn't had another nightmare.

•
thoughts??????

one more chapter than we're DONE WITH THE HOLIDAYS