(This is my first fanfic ever. I'm really sorry if its sucky, but I'm gonna try :') i'm not a very good author)

    Dave sat at his computer, scrolling away, bored as all hell. He had a little bit of free time at the moment, and he was using it to surf Tumblr and stare at iFunny memes ironically. After he reached the end of the features, he leaned back in his computer chair. The past few days, he had tried to get a date. He was tired of being alone, and having nobody to lean on whenever things got tough on his career. And, most of all, he hadn't gotten laid in a while. Only fangirls wanted to date him, though, which was bad for him. Because Dave wasn't.. attracted to girls. He kept this on the low, he didn't want anything to break out in the media and ruin his career. He could only imagine the bad articles written about his gayness. 

   Dave clicked open Pesterchum, messaging his best friend, John. He would ask John out, but John kept insisting he was straight. But, lets be honest, nobody believes that bullshit.

TG: hey what up egderp

EB: dont call me egderp, dave!

EB: nothing much, stridork!

TG: hey hey if you get to call me stridork i have every right to call you egderp 

EB: fine whatever!

EB: what do you want this time, dave? dont you have actorey duties to attend too?

TG: ill attend to my actorey duties later

TG: anyway i know youre straight

TG: and i say that with heavy sarcasm

TG: but do you know a good way to get laid 

EB: is it okay if i ask why?

TG: egderp im tired of being alone

TG: and i havent been laid in a long ass time

TG: just give me the deets on how too

EB: the deets.

EB: okay well..

EB: you could try a dating site?

EB: thats an effective way.

TG: i never thought id say this but

TG: i might as well try one

   Later, after a long conversation with John about him being "straight," Dave finally got the guts to sign up for the site. He selected his preference for guys, and he turned on notifications. Now all he had to do was sit back, relax, and be worried that some 40 year old murderer would find his account.

((SCREE THIS IS SO BAD im so bad at being dave and john im so sorrryy 

any feedback? criticism? plss i need

thank you for taking time out of your day to read my horrible fanfic uwu))