I can't believe I just did that... You thought as you stood leaning against the wall of the shower.

Menstruation blood and a much... thicker but clear... fluid ran down the drain.

And to the thought of him. As the dread filled your mind, you slid down to a sitting position. What did this mean? Were you more fucked up than you thought? Did your deranged mind actually find him attractive?

"You can hold me hostage if you want."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore. I never wanted to hurt you. I only wanted to protect you."

"There's no need to be worried, YN."

"You look beautiful today."

"You look beautiful today."

"You look beautiful today."

"You look beautiful today."

The thoughts had replayed in your mind over and over until you couldn't help but feel some sort of way about it. Maybe he really had loved you and didn't know how to express it.

At least you knew what to expect from him, unlike the majority of your coworkers.

As you dried your hair off and got dressed for work, an impending sense of doom came over you.

"I haven't had an incompatible blood transfusion lately so..." You sighed. "Hello anxiety, my old friend."

After taking one of your pills for panic attacks, you left to drive to work, pushing the shower out of your mind. The drive wasn't very long but listening to the radio while you drove helped your goal and before you knew it, the vet clinic was in front of you. With a deep breath, you stepped out of your car, locked it and walked in.

"Good morning YN!" Si-oon greeted you cheerfully as usual.  But today you had vowed to move forward in the relationship.

"Hi, Si-oon. Hey, what are you doing after work?"

"Well I was thinking about getting my nails done, why?" Her face beamed.

"Could I join you? I've been feeling kind of down and I think it'd be nice to get out. Unless that's bothering you, of course. Don't feel pressured..."

"EEEEEK!" She squealed and tapped on the desk. "I would LOVE that! Okay, I'll text my nail technician and let her know to open another spot and we can just walk after work, it's right down the road! I'm excited!"

The door pushed open.

"Too much excitement in the morning, Si-oon. Calm it down." Min-Ah grumbled with her coffee in her hand.

"We're going to get our nails done after work, YN and I! Do you want to come?!" Her earnest smile was now directed at Min-Ah and you turned to examine what happened next.

"Oh, uh..." Min-Ah looked at you and you shrugged back, not sure what to say. "Sure. Yeah, my nails could use a good clean."

Another squeal and Si-oon got to texting for what you would assume was a third spot. After a small smile however, you did proceed to your own work station with Min-Ah behind you.

"So... You're going out? With Super Happy Si-oon?" Min-Ah remarked.

"Yeah... I haven't been getting out lately and it's made me kind of..." You searched for a non-extreme word, "bummed."

"Huh." She looked like she was thinking as she pulled on her scrubs. "Makes sense..."