"GO GO GO!" The officers yelled. "Cut him down, quickly!"

Fuck. Sangwoo thought as his eyes went blurry. Foiled again.

Three large officers cut him down off of his noose.

You should never have been born. I wish your mother would have aborted you in her womb.

"Sounds about right..." Sangwoo had mumbled to himself as his face twisted up. In fact, it not only sounded 'right', it was exactly what his mother had consistently tried to do.

As he quietly ripped up his sheet in a state of mania, his mind drifted back to a Christmas conversation he had had with Yoon Bum.

"Once upon a time, there was a beautiful devil. And ever since she was little, she was incredibly depressed. Then one day, a young man fell in love with this devil. He was so in love with her, he pursued her with all his might." He didn't know why he was sharing this story with the skinny, sleeping man in front of him. Sangwoo was drunk and his mouth was just flowing freely with everything that was bottled up. He couldn't help it. "The two eventually became a couple. The young man was so happy. But over time, he found himself unable to understand the devil. The devil became pregnant, and the young man began to change. The devil became so depressed she wanted to die. She may have always been like that, but this time she wasn't in her right mind... after all, she took out her anger on something as defenseless as her own unborn baby... She tried to abort the baby many times. But the child was born healthy on the 27th of January."

Sangwoo's heart felt black.

"So my birthday... is January 27th."

Did all women that he loved want him dead and aborted?

He might as well try and grant their wish.

But here he was, thwarted once again by the South Korean prison correctional officers. They were, of course, just doing their jobs, but he wished they wouldn't. Perhaps that would ease your mind and make you feel better. If he would just kill himself, then maybe at least you could get some sleep. Inadvertently, he would get some as well.

But for now, all he was going to get was a trip to medical, an ugly suicide smock, 24-hour watch  and all of his possessions thrown into a box. That's what an attempted suicide got you in prison. Certainly, it wasn't sympathy.

As he was wheeled out of his cell on a stretched, he listened as the other inmates mocked him.

"You think you're too beautiful for the world?!"

"Did your little boyfriend leave you for another dick?!"

"Can't take the real prison life, huh!?"

He couldn't. But really, could anyone? It was lonely, especially in solitary. It wasn't really any different than the outside world though for him. He had made such a persona that no one knew the real Sangwoo. And now, the inside just matched the outside.

Sangwoo was all by himself. No support. No love. No one wanted him.

And your last letter reminded him of that. Not even his mother had wanted him.