Elijah Alkie Rivera

      I looked at mamang police who were still busy driving the car. A small smile crept on my lips before I returned my eyes to the window with a light heart.

"Thank you po, mamang police," I thanked him wholeheartedly.

Mamang police may be cold but he's the kindest, understanding, and protective man I have ever met in my life.

"Hm? What's with you suddenly?"

Umiling ako. "Nothing po. I'm just grateful na maka-try ng decent work."

Hindi na siya nag-talk after that. Nag-watch na lang ulit ako sa view sa labas.

"Why?"

My head immediately snapped sa direction niya.

"Po? What do you mean why?" I asked, confused by what he meant by his sudden question.

"Why sell yourself? You seemed to prefer working in those minimum wage jobs so why sell yourself?"

I feel shame trying to creep into me again. I bowed my head down and played with the skin on my arms, picking them, and scratching.

Nahihiya akong mag-tell sa kaniya ng totoo. Sa lahat ng person na kilala ko, si mamang police lang ang hindi ko gusto na mag-mock sa akin.

"Hey."

A large hand grabbed my smaller one and forced me to stop picking on my skin.

Magkasalubong ang mga eyebrows niya habang nakatingin lang sa front. He's still holding my hand kaya napa-stare ako doon.

His hand is so warm.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt yourself?" He asked through gritted teeth as he glanced at my arm na nag-red na.

I looked at mamang police and blinked

Umiling ako. "No, po. I was just..."

I was what? Making up stories para hindi mag-appear na pathetic kay mamang police? To look cool in front of him? Stitching scenarios up para hindi magmukhang loser sa kaniya despite being a lowly whore?

His hand moved from my hand to my arms. He gripped it carefully as if it were fragile.

"You don't need to answer me if you're uncomfortable, Elijah. Learn to refuse and say no when you do not want to.

Don't take it out on yourself. Stop punishing yourself for putting boundaries. Are we clear?"

I suddenly felt so naked and vulnerable after hearing him say that. He had seen right through me and I'm embarrassed na he always witnessed me being so weak and pathetic.

"Elijah." My eyes snapped back pabalik sa kaniya.

The car stopped moving cause of the traffic kaya nasa akin na ngayon ang buong atensyon niya.

"Look, I'm sorry if it made you remember stupid stuff. I was just genuinely curious, Elijah. Believe me."

Namilog ang eyes ko nang ma-hear ko ang sorry ni mamang police. I immediately shook my head.

"It's fine po. Kinakabahan lang po ako sa first day of work ko," I explained. Super makapal na ang face ko to receive an apology from someone like mamang police.

How could someone like him say sorry to someone like me? I feel so undeserving of it.

"You'll be fine. Just trust yourself and be confident," he said genuinely.

I smiled at him and nodded my head. "Thank you po.

It's not that I'm offended sa question ni mamang police. Hindi lang talaga ako comfortable mag-talk about that right now.

It didn't take long for us to reach a modern and eye-catching convenience shop beside a big university and a hospital. Labas-masok ang mga customers na mostly ay mga students and health care workers.

Meron pa ngang computer shop across sa street. The convenience shop seemed like a famous spot here sa area.

I went out na sa car and waited for mamang police. I'm super excited na but I'm also kinakabahan.

"Come on," ang aya ni mamang police sa akin after niyang bumaba sa car.

When we approached the door, nag-salute kay mamang police iyong guard. Nag-laugh lang naman si mamang police.

"Magandang araw, Mang Gado."

"Magandang araw, sir. Kapatid niyo ho?" Mang Gado asked and looked at me.

I gave him a shy smile at nag-hi.

"No, a friend. Pero parang kapatid na rin."

My smile became strained when he mentioned kapatid. But I don't want to be his kapatid. Can a younger brother finger his bum while iniisip 'yong older brother niya? I don't think so.

When we went inside, super busy na agad ng place. Seems like dito rin bumibili ng mga foods iyong mga people.

This place is quite big for a convenience store. There are like five tables that can occupy four people each.

There's someone sa cashier working and meron ding nag-aayos ng mga displays and naglilinis ng floors.

"Ajax!"

Someone caught our attention sa may bukana ng door sa gilid ng cashier.
I think it's a passage papasok sa storage room nila.

"Sam," mamang police called enthusiastically tapos hinalikan pa niya ito sa forehead.

Is this the person he's seeing ba? She's pretty. She looks elegant in that striped blue button-up shirt tucked into her black pants. She didn't look maarte din but she looked so admirable and dependable.

"So good to see you again! How's work?"

I saw people glancing on our way. Who wouldn't? Both of them look so eye-catching.

"Okay lang. Kumusta kayo sa States? How was Yohan?"

"He's doing better. Everyone was asking about you and your sister. Tinatanong nila kung kailan ka daw dadayo."

So he has relatives from the states pala. Nandoon rin kaya ang parents nila ni Ali?

"Still too busy. Anyway, I won't be here for too long. I'm just here to drop Elijah. I told you about him last night."

Nilingon ako ni mamang police that's why napatingin din sa akin iyong girl. Mamang police gestured for me to make lapit sa kanila. Nang makalapit ako ay kaagad akong inakbayan ni mamang police.

"I'd like you to meet Elijah, Sam. Elijah, this is Sam. She manages this place in my stead."

"Hi, Elijah. Madami akong narinig tungkol sa'yo mula kay Ajax."

I gave her a nervous smile and wiped my hands sa pants ko. I offered her my hand before aki nag-introduce ng self.

"Hello po, I'm Elijah. I'm looking forward to working with you po. Please bear with me."

I heard her giggle as she accepted my hand din. "Of course, Elijah. You're so cute. Siguradong dadami ang customer namin dahil sa'yo."

I saw her glance at mamang police's hands on my shoulder kaya I shook off his hand from there immediately. I also made sure to step away a little from mamang police.

I like mamang police but I don't ruin relationships. I'm not like that. Hindi ako ganon.

I don't want to be a menace.

I'm just—

"Elijah?"

Should I explain? Should I talk? Can I talk? Pero what if ma misinterpret na naman nila ako? Are they going to throw me away? Are they going to hurt me? Are they going to punish me? What are they going to do to me this ti—

"Elijah!"

Suddenly, I felt like I woke up from a dream. I saw mamang police's face so clearly and very close to me. Parang nag-pop bigla sa socket ang mga eyes ko.

"What's wrong?" He asked with his brows almost na mag-meet sa gitna. His eyes were also constantly checking my entire face while he was holding it.

Umiling ako.

He looked around then nag-stop sa akin. "Maybe we should just postpone today's agenda. I think you need some rest. Umu—"

"No!" I cried. "I'm sorry. I'll do my best. Just don't make me go home po."

"That's not it. You looked so pale and you were picking on your skin again."

"I'm sorry po. I just thought of something but I swear I'm okay lang po. I really want to do this today," I said, almost sounding like I was pleading. Maybe I am.

He stared at me for a long time. I waited for his response patiently. With my eyes moistening cause I'm really nervous sa magiging answer niya.

I don't want to go home. I know I needed to do this today. I don't want to disappoint mamang police, but more importantly, I don't want to disappoint myself again.

He sighed. "Sige. But you have to promise me, you'll call me every two hours. And be honest with your updates. Are we clear?"

I grinned and jumped at him para ma-hug ko siya. I nodded my head while Naka-bury ang face ko sa chest niya.

He hugged me back and patted my head.

"Alright. Sam, ikaw na ang bahala sa kanya. I want you to be patient with him. He's a bit inexperienced but he's teachable."

"No worries. Ako na ang bahala sa cutie-patootie na 'yan."

I looked up at mamang police and found out na nakatingin din pala siya sa akin. "She's nice. Don't be scared. Medyo maldita lang ang payatot na 'yan dahil buntis but she doesn't bite."

Namilog ang eyed ko nang marinig ang sinabi ni mamang police. Wait, she's pregnant?

I immediately pulled myself away from mamang police. I felt my chest tightening from the sudden information. Does Ali know? Are they getting married?

She threw a rag kay mamang police but he just laughed it off.

"I have to go," he told me. Me. M and E. Why me? He should be looking at his girl. "Dadaanan na lang kita mamaya para iuwi."

"You don't have to pick me up po. I'll ride a jeepney nalang pauwi or a bus. Thank you po for giving me a ride."

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "Do you even know where you are right now?" Ang tanong niya na nagpatigil sa akin.

Right. I don't know where I am nga pala. Umiling ako.

"Then I'll give you a ride home. You wait for me. Got it?"

Ngumuso ako at tumango. I'm not going to fight na lang kasi baka ma-late pa siya sa work niya. "Okay po. Alis ka na po. Baka ma-late ka po sa work mo."

"Good. I'll see you later. And also, stop calling me mamang police. May pangalan ako. Call me—"

"Daddy!"

Sabay kaming napalingon kay Sam nang magsalita siya. She was smiling cheekily at us and her eyes were sparkling like she just saw an amazing drama.

"Shut up, Sam," ang angil ni mamang police. Tumawa lang naman si Sam.

Okay, they really look cute together. I'll just be very extra careful na lang when I'm interacting with mamang police.

"And you." I blinked, confused. "Call me Ajax. Remember to wait for me."

I squized my eyes shut nang dumapo ang hand niya sa hair ko at marahan iyong ginulo. He really liked petting mt head but I'm not sure if its appropriate.

I don't want to be misinterpreted again but I just can't stop myself from blushing hard.

Lord, help me overcome this.

"Okay po. Ba-bye, A-Ajax."

He nodded at me and Sam before turning his back at us. My eyes followed his figure until he was gone from our sight.

I was confused. Di ba if you're in a relationship with someone, you usually become affectionate kapag nagg-goodbye? Why was it nonexistent? Or baka nahihiya lang sila sa akin?

"Crush mo siya?" A cheery voice asked beside me.

Blood drained from my face. Mabilis akong umiling.

"No, po! I swear!"

Please believe me.

"Naku, kahit itanggi mo, obvious na obvious naman sa mukha mo. Ang pula-pula kaya ng pisnge at leeg mo." She pointed at my face and my neck kaya napa-touch ako doon. "Okay lang 'yan no. Hindi lang naman ikaw ang may crush sa damuhong 'yon."

Umiling ako at napa-touch sa hand niya. "I swear po. Before lang po 'yon. Now na nalaman kong may girl siya ayaw ko na po. I'm not try—"

Malakas siyang natawa saka ako hinampas sa braso ko. I winced when she almost shove me down the floor. Bakit ang strong niya? Eh mas maliit pa siya sa akin.

"Gago, hindi! Pinsan ko kaya 'yon. What I mean is, marami na talaga ang nagkakagusto sa lalaking 'yon. Halos lahat rin ng employees namin type siya."

They're not together?!

Para akong fish na nag o-open at close ang mouth sa sinabi niya.

"So he's not the one who got you pregnant po?"

She gave a look of disgust. "Malamang! Jusko iniisip ko pa lang nandidiri na ako."

"I'm sorry po," ang teary-eyed kong hingi ng sorry sa kaniya. I'm so embarass na.

Tumawa lang siya ulit. "Hoy, okay lang. Ano ka ba. Oh di ba atleast alam mo ng walang jowa ang lalaking 'yon."

Napakamot na lang ako ng ulo.

"Anyway, let's start." She clapped her hands together and suddenly the atmosphere became serious.

"This job and business is our bread and butter and this is a memento of my cousin. Napakahalaga ng negosyong ito, Elijah.

Simula sa araw na ito magiging parte ka na sa mga taong magpapatakbo ng negosyong 'to. Try to avoid mistakes as much as you can dahil isang mali ng empleyado, maaaring madamay ang lahat. Maliwanag ba?

Hindi dahil si Ajax ang nagpapasok sa'yo dito, pa-chill-chill ka na lang. Ajax is just your door, but me, us," itinuro niya ang ibang empleyado na present ngayon sa convenience store. "We are the real thing. Are we clear, Elijah?"

Tumango ako. "Y-Yes, ma'am!"

My knees are beginning to shake na. I think she noticed it kaya nginitian na naman niya ako. Women can be really intimidating and confusing talaga. "Good! Now to begin with...."

I slumped on my sit after my training ends. It's so nakakapagod! Mas nakakapagod pa 'to compared doon sa nakikipag-sex ka sa mga guys.

But I like this tiredness better. I feel more human. I feel more me.

Sam can be really intimidating and scary most of the times but she can be sweet naman. She made libre nga sakin kaning lunch sa isang fast food resto na pina-deliver niya. I'm so happy rin kasi may uniform na ako like a real employee.

I look cute pa nga dito kaya nag-take ako ng maraming pictures and then ni-send iyon kay mamang police.

"Elijah, una na ako ha. Andiyan na mister ko. Just wait for Ajax here baka maya-maya ay dadating na rin 'yon."

"Okay po. Ba-bye! See you tomorrow, Sam. Mag-ingat kayo ng baby mo."

She waved at me one last time before making her way to her husband na naghihintay sa labas. I sighed contentedly and yawned.

I'm so happy!

Kahit minsan mean sa akin si Sam, she's super patient sa akin. Kahit bobo ako. Kahit stupid ako. Kahit slow learner ako, she never forgets to praise me kapag I do something excellent.

And kahit papaano, I feel worthy. I feel like I can do more and I can do better.

My phone lit up kaya chineck ko. I beamed when I saw mamang police's name.

Almost done. Wait a bit.

I looked at the surroundings and suddenly everything looked so bright and sparkling. I pressed my phone on my lips and watched the world move as day slowly became night.

The sky is getting dark... but I don't feel afraid for once. There was no pain and shame to look forward in the dark.

4/24/2024