Tom's Perspective

A few hours later

Seeming as Tord hadn't awakened on his own yet, I arose from my desk to go check on him myself. I left my assistant to do her normal load of work and walked through the army base halls. Soldiers calmly saluted me with a form of respect that had been gained since winning the literal world war. My heels clicked as I walked towards Tord's bedroom calmly, expecting that he'd be splayed out on his bed like a silly goose as usual. He's so cute like that. As I neared the bedroom door though, my thoughts changed. Soldiers seemed to be glancing at it and even stopping and staring worriedly. I turned to one of the stopped soldiers and folded my hands. "What's going on here soldier?" I asked sternly and he placed his hands behind his back. "Honestly and truly, I have no idea sir. I just heard loud, excruciating noises in there. I didn't know what to do." He explained and I shook my head. I would have lectured the man, but I had more pressing things at hand.

I unlocked the door with my fingerprint and flipped on the switch, fearing for the safety of my beloved boyfriend. My eyes started at the bed, which had messy bedsheets. I followed the trail of blanket to where a considerable amount of blood was slathered on the ground. My gaze followed the crimson splatter into the closet, where I guessed Tord was hiding. I slowly approached the closet and stepped in something gross and squishy, cringing at the texture under my shoes. I looked down and stared at the unidentified fleshy lump coated in blood under my foot. I couldn't tell what it was at all. I removed my heel from the fleshy substance and slowly opened up the closet as to not startle the most likely panicked Norwegian in the closet. I looked around for a bit, noticing a shivering body curled up. "Hey sweetheart... Why don't you come out and let me help you?" I spoke softly as to not scare him and waited for him to look at me. "N-no- go away..." He whimpered and tried to hide himself under some clothing.

I crouched down and peeled away the clothes he was hiding behind, getting a good look at the shaking man. He had blood smeared across most of his body, especially near his stomach. I couldn't get a sense of where the blood was coming from, but I knew he was in poor condition. He tried to cover himself and looked away from me. "Honey it's okay, it's alright.." I tried to coax him into letting me look at him, but he wouldn't budge. After a while of gently pulling on his wrists, he let me look at his bloody body in the light. I didn't have any words. "... Are you.. Are you okay?" I asked the man who was holding back sobs. He shook violently and covered his face, looking away from me. I wrapped my arms around him and slowly rocked, comforting the poor boy. "Hey, it's okay.. I'm sure whatever happened was for a big reason. We'll figure it out together okay?" I said calmly and rubbed his back as he sobbed.

"I-I- wh- I- I wanted- I did-." He choked out and clung to my clothing desperately, dirtying it with his blood. I shushed him and continued to rock him. "It's okay my sweet imp.. It'll be okay." I whispered and stroked the back of his head. "We've got to get you some help though okay? If you keep bleeding out like that you'll get infected and die." I told him and he shakily nodded, allowing me to pick him up. Working out has really paid off. I only carried him to the bed, covering him up slightly to keep him warm. I then got one of the soldier's attention and sent them off to get the medics. I turned back to Tord who was still crying and held his hands. "Hey, it's okay sweetheart... we'll make it through this together. I'm here for you." I assured him and he firmly gripped my hands for support. He simply nodded in response and hugged me tightly, which I didn't mind at all. I slowly rocked him and let him cry on my shoulder for as long as it took for the medics to get here. Then I had to help them coax Tord into letting them check his wounds, which wasn't easy. After a bit of back-and-forth, Tord got cleaned up and somewhat dragged for further help in the medical center. I comforted him so that he wouldn't resist anymore than he already was, but he sure tried to be a problem.

After all of the kerfuffle was over, Tord was comfortable settled in a bed with an IV in his arm. I still had the uncomfortable knowledge of knowing what he did to his own body, but not why he did it. He might have been super stressed, or having an episode of some kind. I didn't want to press him on it right now when he had finally calmed down enough to nap. I was slowly rubbing circles on his hand, listening to the background noises set in. I zoned out as my mind swam with worry and stress. Tord needed help. Serious help. But I knew he was too afraid and too in denial to get it. He's so old fashioned that way, acting like mental health doesn't even exist. The room stayed silent minus the machinery's constant buzzing and beeping until the door opened and footsteps approached. "Hey.. Erm.. Tom, I know this isn't a good time of course, but you're missing a big meeting. I don't remember what it was about, your little assistant is so quiet. But anyways.. Erm... That's not why I'm here." Edd babbled on before pulling back the chair beside me and sitting down. He filled up the chair and neatly folded his hands together, looking over at me with his compassionate chocolate eyes. I stared at him from the corner of my eye and waited for him to speak. The air was awkward and had a muddy feeling.

"Listen, Tom, I know that a lot has been going on recently. Well.. A lot has gone on in our lives in general. But I just wanted to ask you really..." He paused and cleared his throat, searching for a way to word his next sentence. "Well, Tom, Do you really think Tord is the person for you? Everything has been going so badly around you two this whole time, and you've got such a terrible history. Do you even really love him?" He spoke unsurely and with guilt, clearly not the type to ask if he wasn't really curious. He must really want to know. I still had Tord's hand in mine, slowly tracing circles with my thumb and feeling his warmth. I stared down at my boyfriend without a reply and shook my head in frustration. I was so tired of life being complicated. I loved him, and that was simple. Feelings aren't complicated until you make them that way. I took a breath and turned my head to the Brit who was nervously fidgeting. He was very uncomfortable asking those questions in the first place, it seemed. But I was confident of my answer.

"I do love him. Maybe I didn't always love him, but that's good. And maybe I'm just confused and mistaking it for some other feelings that are like love. I wouldn't know because I've never done this before. But I love him as far as I know, and that's good enough for me. We're happy and that's all that matters." I said and then took a breath. What a long way to say "I love him and that's it". Edd seemed to have mixed emotions about my statement but nodded. "I'll be honest with you Tom, I asked because I've been trying to be with you for a long time. But I'm glad you found someone who you're happy with, and I'll respect that. But I guess I'm also that weird second option if anything goes wrong, which I hope it doesn't. So um.. Yeah." He said and awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. It took me a moment to process what he had said, but I soon understood. He loved me all this time. I can't imagine how terrible of a let down that is on his end. I wordlessly replied by giving him a gentle hug. He's such a sweetheart, maybe a little crazy but he doesn't deserve this.

"I'm sorry Edd. Not for my relationship of course... Just that I didn't realize it sooner." I said solemnly and felt Edd's loose grip on the soft material of my jacket. "It's okay Tom..." He whispered barely loud enough for me to hear. It sounded like he was holding back tears. I began gently rubbing his back and had to pull the taller boy into my lap. It was a bit awkward, but I don't think he minded in the moment. "It's okay to cry Edd.. I'd probably cry too." I admitted and felt his face press against my shoulder. By the feeling of his ragged breathing and slight shaking, I could tell he was silently crying. After a few minutes of him choking on his tears and trying to stay quiet, he stopped crying and just enjoyed my embrace. We didn't get to hug often at all anymore, especially like this, so I understood completely. I was enjoying it as well aside from the crying. "Better?" I asked quietly and he nodded, still snuggled up to me.

I stopped my hand in place on his back and placed my head on his shoulder. "I love you Tom." He hummed calmly and I closed my eyes. "I love you too Edd. As a friend, and as a sibling more like. But I don't reject your feelings, just your advances." I clarified and he nodded, shifting slightly so that he could look at me. "I think you've changed for the better." He said and smiled softly. He had such a sweet smile that could lighten up any room. "I've always been that way, I just... Needed room to grow." I explained and he nodded. "I'm still proud of you Tom. Very proud." He stated with a wide smile. It made me smile as well. "I'm glad you are. If my mom had more of a human mind she'd probably be proud of me too..." I mentioned a bit off-topic and he nodded quickly. "Of course she would. She's so cool and loving." He said and buried his face in my shoulder once more. I patted his head and chuckled at his shenanigans. He's the best sort of sibling I could ever have. Even if he had romantic feelings for me. "Erm- Edd- did you leave Matt in charge of the meeting with my assistants?" I asked and Edd's head shot up like he had just heard guns. "Oh shit-! Erm- See you later-!!" He exclaimed before launching himself off of me and out the door. I laughed and smiled warmly. That man always knows how to cheer me up. I returned my loving gaze to Tord's sleeping body and reached out to his hand, beginning the whole ordeal again. Getting lost in the background noise. My thumb slowly massaging his hand while I think. But now I knew more than ever that I loved him for sure.

Never answered the title, did I spagette123