"We were a clan of nomadic mercenaries and roamed the World, never staying in one place for too long and selling our blades to the highest bidder. We must've done well because Nations were in bidding wars to hire us.

We fought with and against the Senju, the Uchiha, and damn near all the Kages of the time. We never picked a side or became directly involved in politics; any change we encouraged came from behind the scenes. We obliterated some clans and helped other clans rise to prominence.

After the clan helped the Senju defeat Madara, as thanks and payment, Tobirama shared his Summoning Jutsu with us. That is how we came to have our dragon summons. There is a rumour though that Tobirama took up with a Kasai woman but that's never been proven.

Life went on until the Second Shinobi War. Unfortunately we had sold ourselves to the losing side and the clan was damn near wiped out. Between the war casualties and the genocide due to our having sided with the enemy, our numbers remained low until it was just me and Granny.

She taught me everything I know: our History, the jutsus I use, how to infiltrate and spy, how to charm men and women and how to use my Summon in battle. She was old though and wanted to spend her final days somewhere where she could remain in one place for more than a few months.

She had loved Konoha since she was a small girl so that's where we ended up. I found out later that she had a bit of an ulterior motive for choosing Konoha but at the time it was a good choice.

I remember it being so awkward to be in the Village, to be stationary, "rooted" she called it. I remember having my bag packed and ready to go month after month but eventually I accepted that we were staying. So, if we were staying, I had to get a job.

I went to the Hokage to ask about a job. In order to ascertain my skill level and future rank, he had me fight Kakashi Hatake. You know, the Copy Cat Ninja? I lost to that fucker! If he hadn't used his goddamn Sharingan I would've won! I'm still pissed about that.

Anyways! I was assigned the rank of Jounin and sent on missions. Boring, bland missions. I complained a lot and I suppose the Hokage got tired of it so he put me in ANBU and let me loose. I became especially adept at assassination and infiltration. From time to time I was partnered with Itachi and we became friendly. 

Remember that ulterior motive I was talking about earlier? Granny's big plan was to make a match of Itachi and I. She reasoned that our bloodlines combined would create a stronger fire nature wielder and of course the Uchiha were on board; anything to strengthen that clan!

As time went on we became friendlier and I began regularly training with him when he wasn't with Shisui or on missions. He's the one that gave me my mask, the black one with Tobirama's markings? I need to find that mask...

Eventually my hormones caught up to me and I developed a tiny crush on him. One day, after training, I kissed him. It was nice, my best kiss up to that point, but I didn't really feel anything. Not like when I kiss you. But we were both young and curious and we developed a kind of love for each other. It wasn't a romantic love, not really, but it was more than being just friends. And before you ask, no I didn't sleep with him.

Fast forward a few months and he massacred his clan. I didn't participate but I did help him get away and I left Konoha that night. Granny knew it was coming, the massacre, and she knew that I'd choose to help him so that night was the last time I saw her. Now when I go to Konoha, I visit a grave.

Itachi and I split up soon after as we had to put as much distance between the Village and each other as possible. I ended up North while he went South and eventually joined your organization.

I went from place to place, working contracts, exploring the World and tasting and exploring what each Nation had to offer in terms of pleasures and vices. I've even managed to get myself banned from Kiri! Oh Mei, so temperamental...

Eventually I found myself in the right place at the right time and partnered up with Shinju. She had a mission to break and/or kill Kakuzu and I went along for fun. I learned of your whereabouts and seeing as we weren't too far away, we found you and I seduced you.

I stole the coordinates you had, Deidara and Sasori kidnapped me, "Madara" beat the shit out of me, I died, Orochimaru revived me, I loosely joined the Akatsuki with Ju, helped kill "Madara", helped capture a Tailed Beast and fell in love with you. That's everything up to this point" Kay finished, leaning against Kisame's chest as he supported her weight.

He was silent for a while before he finally spoke. "That explains why you don't wear a shinobi headband and why you get anxious when in one place for too long. It also explains your kiss with Itachi and I'm glad that he's nothing more than an old friend to you. However I am a little hurt that you used me to steal information but I can't be too angry as I used you for my own selfish pleasure."

"What happens now?" Kay asked quietly. Kisame rested his chin on her shoulder. "What do you want to have happen?" he asked. "I'd like things to be how they were before you spied on us...and what was that about anyways?!" she asked, wincing as she tried to turn to face him. "Mmmm jealousy on my part. It was stupid" he muttered. "Help me turn around so I can insult you to your face."

Laughing, Kisame helped Kay turn around and she sat on her knees in front of him. She cupped his face with her hands and brought him close. "You're an idiot and a tool but because you're so handsome, I'll let it slide this time." "How kind of you" Kisame replied as he caught her lips in his. She moaned into the kiss and her nails dug into his shoulders. He pulled her closer and she broke the kiss, wincing at the pain in her ribs.

Kisame stood and scooped her into his arms, carrying her bridal style and with her wrapped right side braced against his firm body. "Come on, back to the base. We'll have to see what Kakuzu can do for your ribs."  "YOU can see what he can do and YOU'RE paying for the treatment! You caused this, you pay for it!" Kay said as she punched his chest lightly. "Yeah yeah" he replied as the couple teasingly bickered all the way back to the base.