Kakuzu and Shinju were in love. It seemed one was never without the other and they spent inordinate amounts of time locked in their rooms. After many sleepless nights, Itachi finally got irritated enough to place sound blocking seals on their doors and Kay moved out of their shared room.

Hidan was sitting on the couch, arms folded, pouting and mumbling to himself. "You know, if you drool a little, you'll look like a mental patient" Kisame said as he sat next to Hidan. "I'm NOT crazy! I'm fucking pissed!" He growled. "Woman problems? Glad I don't have those" he chuckled and Hidan's face grew red with anger. "I WAS FUCKING THERE WHEN HE WASN'T! I HELD HER! I COMFORTED HER! AND HE FUCKING GOES AND FUCKS HER AND ITS LIKE I'M FUCKING NOTHING! I'M NOT NOTHING!" he yelled as he got off the couch and stormed to his room.

Shinju giggled as Kakuzu left little kisses on her neck. "Kazu~" she cooed and ran her fingers through his hair. "Hmmm?" he hummed as he continued to kiss her. "I have a mission. I have to go" she said as she tried to push him off her. "Let someone else go" he said as his hands slid under her shirt and lazed up her ribs. "Mmmm I can't," she gasped as his fingers traced the swell of her breasts, "Kay- ah! - needs me~" she said breathily as he ground himself against her. "Too bad for her" he replied.

Loud knocking sounded at the door. "OI! Juju! We gotta go!" Kay said. "She's occupied!" Kakuzu yelled. This angered Kay and she wasn't having it. "LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT! I DON'T CARE THAT YOUR DICK HAS STARTED WORKING AGAIN! WE HAVE A GODDAMN MISSION AND SHE'S MY GODDAMN PARTNER!" Kakuzu looked down at Shinju, "she's almost as bad as Hidan!" She laughed but quieted when she heard Kay's voice again. "Ju, don't leave me hanging. We have to go". She looked at Kakuzu and made up her mind. "Sorry Kay. I'm going to sit this one out!" she called out. "Fine. Don't come crawling back to me when he fucks up again" she said, her voice growing fainter as she walked away.

"Ladyboy! You're my partner for this mission. Let's go!" Kay said to Deidara and pulled him along by his hair. She stopped to give Kisame a kiss before leaving the base. "I'm not a girl, un!" "Yeah yeah, that's nice. We're going to Tenchi Bridge. Move it Barbie!" she yelled, smacking him upside the head. He grumbled and summoned his bird and they left.

Days later, Kay and Deidara still out on their mission, Kakuzu was given a bounty mission. Shinju joined the men as she didn't want to be separated from Kakuzu and because she wanted to get out of the base. Hidan lagged behind, his anger simmering as he watched the two lovebirds together.

After they had finally tracked their target, killed him and cashed the body in for the bounty, that there was time to relax. Sitting under a tree Hidan watched as Shinju draped herself over Kakuzu's shoulders and nibbled his ear as he counted the money. "Ju!" Hidan called to her. She stopped nuzzling Kakuzu and looked at him with a puzzled expression, almost like she had forgotten he was there. This was the last straw for him.

He stood to his feet and stomped over, grabbing Shinju by her arm and pulling her up. Kakuzu immediately got to his feet, bank notes flying everywhere, and pulled her away from Hidan and moved her behind him protectively. "What the fuck?!" Hidan yelled at them. "Keep your hands off my woman" Kakuzu growled threateningly. Hidan ignored him and looked at Shinju. "Are you serious?! You chose him?! What about the nights we spent together, making love and shit?! What about when I comforted you, held you, as you cried about this old geezer?! What about...what about when you said you loved me?" He finally asked.

"That was then, this is now. She's mine and I won't share!" "FUCK YOU OLD MAN!" Hidan screeched as he swung his scythe, the blades embedding themselves in Kakuzu's chest and abdomen. The blades missed his hearts by millimetres and Kakuzu gripped the scythe in his large strong hands. "You really want to do this?" He growled. "YES!" Kakuzu pulled the blades out of his body and Hidan brought his scythe back to him.

Kakuzu unleashed his tendrils, his forearms detaching from his body and wrapping around Hidan's neck, trying to strangle him. Hidan cut the tendrils and swung his scythe in a large arc. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes and tore his shirt off. Surging his chakra he unleashed his elemental beings and sent them to attack Hidan. Hidan battled furiously and managed to kill two of the beings before Kakuzu's attack knocked him to the ground.

Walking up to the prone man Kakuzu stepped on Hidan's neck, feeling satisfied when he heard the vertebrae crunching under his foot. "Fucking...let go! Shit!" Hidan yelled as Kakuzu kicked his scythe away from his hands. "You owe me two hearts you ungrateful bastard!" He growled as he slammed Hidan's head onto the ground. "I'll be keeping your share of the bounty" he said as he slammed Hidan's head onto the ground again, "and my woman" as he punched Hidan in the face, feeling the man's nose break under his fist.

Groaning Hidan pushed himself off the ground, blood flowing into his mouth and down his throat from his broken nose. He looked at Shinju and saw her standing at Kakuzu's side, her eyes full of concern and her hands pressing against the cuts he had sustained in the fight. He hung his head and accepted that she was lost to him.

She was the closest thing I had to love, he thought. I wanted to show her Jashin-sama and grow old with her...hell maybe knock her up once or twice... he sighed as he picked up his scythe and began walking in the direction of the base.

Kakuzu glared as he watched Hidan's retreating figure and pulled Shinju close to him. He was never letting another man take his woman.