I wanted to answer Murky. Gusto kong itanggi at halakhakan ang tanong niyang iyon. But I couldn't move my lips! Nanatili lang ang mga mata ko sa kanya at alam kong namimilog ang mga iyon. Kung hindi lang tumunog ang alarm ng elevator at bumukas ang pintuan ay tuluyan na akong magiging bato sa kinatatayuan.

"Ano pang hinihintay mo, Ysa?" Nagtaas ng kilay sa akin si Mari.

Napakurap ako nang makitang nasa labas na sila. Taranta tuloy akong lumakad palapit sa kanila. "Medyo may naiisip lang..."

Naningkit ang mga mata ni Murky sa akin. "Don't tell us na dinibdib mo ang tanong ko kanina?"

Umiling ako.

"Joke lang iyon, Ysa, ano ka ba! Saka as if naman na papatulan mo ang anak ng boss mo at magiging boss mo in the near future," sabi ni Murky sabay halakhak.

Hilaw akong napangiti sa kanilang apat. I didn't know why that question bothered me so much. Kahit nang nasa condo na ay hindi ako tinantanan niyon.

"Right, Ysa? Hindi ka naman girlfriend ni Sir, 'di ba?"

Mariin akong napapikit at napailing nang marinig na naman ang boses na iyon ni Murky. Why was it a big deal to me! I said I don't believe in love without a deep connection and a strong bond! Bakit nagkakaganito ako?

Hindi kaya...

In love ako kay Diego?

No.

There's no way!

How could it be?

Tumunog ang doorbell ko, kaya namimilog ang mga mata ko nang magmulat. Sino 'yon? It was already ten! Wala akong ini-expect na bisita ngayong gabi. Malabo rin na isa kina Tiya Flor at Aira ang pupunta sa condo ko nang ganito kalalim ang gabi.

With my heart beating so fast and loud, I left the balcony and trudged towards the door. Nagpakawala muna ako ng malalim na buntonghininga bago ko binuksan ang pinto. And my eyes grew bigger to see who it was.

What is he doing here?

"H-Hi!"

My eyes fixed on him as he waved his hands at me. Pero napakurap din agad nang atakehin nang matapang na amoy ang aking ilong.

Wait.

Is he...

Drunk?

Sinuri ko ang mukha niya. And a gasp escaped from my mouth when I saw his red face and eyes. Lasing nga siya!

"A-Anong ginagawa ninyo po rito, Sir?" taranta kong tanong.

"Is that... how... you treat your visitor, Ysabella?"

His eyes moved up and down and seemed to be searching my body. And when he found what he was searching for, his eyes fixed on it. Mas namungay ang mga mata niya nang tumigil sa may dibdib ko. Doon ko lang napagtantong naka-night dress nga pala ako!

Handa na sana akong matulog, kaso hindi ako tinatamaan ng antok dahil sa letcheng tanong na iyon ni Murky. It played on my mind over and over again. Kaya nasa balcony ako kanina para pagmasdan ang payapang kalangitan at ang mga kumikislap na mga ilaw sa baba nang sa ganoon, maikalma ko ang isip at nang maantok!

"Is that... how you faced your visitor?" His voice became hoarse.

Napayakap ako sa sarili ko para takpan kung nasaan nakatitig ang mga mata niya.

He hoarsely laughed.

"P-Pasok ho kayo, Sir—"

I was surprised when he entered himself voluntarily, even though I was not done talking. His massive body almost didn't fit on the doorway, kaya napausog ako para bigyan siya nang sapat na espasyo. Tumaas ang kilay ko nang dumiretso siya sa couch at naupo na para isang hari. With his legs spread widely open, like claiming his territory.

"Coffee, tea, juice..." he mocked, lifting his eyes to me. "Or water?"

He offended me. I could feel that I was starting to burn. I still wear a welcoming smile, though. "Ano pong gusto ninyo, Sir?"

"You," he straightly said, almost choking my patience out on me.

I still sported a smile. "Water?"

Tatalikod na sana ako para kuhanan siya ng tubig sa kusina nang bigla siyang nagsalita.

"I want you, Ysabella. You're the one I want."

Pumikit ako at huminga nang malalim bago siya hinarap. "Hindi ho ako nakikipagbiruan, Sir. If you are here to mock me... please... wala ho akong time."

"I am not."

I blinked as I saw the sensuality in his eyes.

"Hindi ako nakikipaglaro sa 'yo, Ysabella," he added. "I really want you."

Napailing ako. Tatalikuran ko na sana siya nang bigla siyang tumayo at hinuli ang braso ko. And with a blink of an eye, he pressed his lips on mine.

Nanigas ako nang ilang segundo habang sinasakop ng labi niya ang labi ko. That was my first kiss! But the weird thing was, I didn't feel annoyed! Dapat nagagalit ako, 'di ba? Pero hindi ko mahanap sa sarili ang pagtutol.

Pinakawalan niya ang labi ko. He caught his breath and rested his forehead on mine. I took a deep breath, too.

"Ahm... Ah... Ikukuha lang kita ng maiinom," sabi ko at iniwan na siya para kumuha ng tubig.

Nang nasa kusina na ay napahawak ako sa dibdib ko. Why did I let him kiss me? Dapat magalit ako. But why didn't I feel any anger because of what he did?

"Why took you so long, Ysabella?" he asked throatily behind my back, which made me jump a bit. Sumunod pala siya sa akin sa kusina.

Agad kong binuksan ang maliit na ref at kinuha ang pitsel ng tubig, natataranta. Hindi ko siya nasagot dahil wala akong mahanap na irarason sa kanya.

He caught me in the act!

Matapos magsalin sa baso ng tubig ay iniabot ko iyon sa kanya... nang tiklop ang bibig.

With malice in his eyes toward me, he took the glass and sipped on it. "Why are you blushing, huh?"

Umiling ako. "Mainit."

Umukit ang malisyosong ngiti sa kanyang labi. "Because of my—"

"H-Hindi," sabay iling ko.

Mas lumawak ang ngiti niya nang ilapag ang baso sa may sink. "You like it?"

"Bakit nga po ba naririto ka, Sir?" pag-iiba ko ng topic saka siya iniwan doon.

"I already told you my reason," he said, stalking me.

"'Wag ninyo naman po akong paglaruan, Sir—"

"Who said I was playing?"

Hinarap ko siya. Slowly, my eyes stopped blinking as I watched him gulp and stare at me like I was a fragile thing. Kunting kibot ay mababasag agad.

"I am serious here," he said throatily. "I... love you, Ysabella."

I breathed out, like I forgot to do it for a millisecond. The seriousness on his face made me shake my head. Not that I wasn't convinced. But I am! Pero hindi ko naman mahanap ang rason.

"As if naman na papatulan mo ang anak ng boss mo at magiging boss mo in the near future..."

I shut my eyes. "H-Hindi ho 'to tama, Sir—"

"Why?" His eyes widened and darkened. "Because you're my father's secretary? You working for him?"

Napakurap ako at nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Look, Ysabella, I already talked about this with my father."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niyang iyon at nag-angat ng mukha sa kanya pagkatapos. He wasn't serious about that, right? He didn't tell Mr. Sandoval about this, right? Dahil kung oo, anong magiging tingin sa akin ni Mr. Sandoval?

I promised him that I would find this man a woman... who could help the SEI in any aspect. But me?

Nailing ako.

Hindi.

"This isn't right, Sir."

Tinalikuran ko siya, pero kaagad niyang nahuli ang palapulsuan ko.

"Why?"

I faced him with my raging eyes. Hindi na mapigilan ang hindi ipakita ang galit. "Because what do other people think of me? Na... pumatol ako sa anak ng boss ko? Why? Because I want your wealth?"

"That's stopping you from... liking me?"

Umiling ako at iniwasan ang tingin niya. "Hindi kita gusto..."

"But you let me kiss you!"

That shocked me. Yes. Why I let him kissed me by the way?

Hindi ko mahanap ang rason kaya tinalikiran ko siya at tumungo sa balcony. I expected him to stalk me, and he did!

"We are not done talking, Ysabella," he warned me; his voice was thick and deep.

"This is nonsense! You came here drunk. And you expect me to seriously talk about this shit?"

His eyes widened in shock. No. In surprise. Maybe he didn't expect my sudden outburst. "So... you will believe me if I wasn't drunk?"

Napalunok ako.

"Look. I'm drunk because I want to have confidence to tell you this. I want to have courage, even if I already do. But it seems it doesn't suffice. I already told you about this... sober... but did you believe me?"

Hindi ako makasagot, kaya nagpatuloy siya sa pagsasalita.

"Will you believe me now?" Nagtaas siya ng kilay. "Alam mo na hindi magsisinungaling ang lasing."

I rolled my eyes as I took a deep breath and avoided his gaze. Ang mga kumikislap na ilaw sa mga matataas na building sa malayo ay hindi sapat para pawiin ang malakas at mabilis na pagpintig ng puso ko.

Why are you feeling this way, Ysa?

Do you feel something romantic toward this man?

Pumikit ako dahil hindi ko mahanap ang sagot. Tutal hindi ko pa talaga nararanasan ang ganito. Ngayon pa lang.

Kahit may magaspang na humawak sa baywang ko, nanatili akong nakapikit. I felt the warm breath kissing my nape. Nagsisi tuloy ako na mataas kong tinali ang buhok ko. It just gave him access to my nape to whisper in my ear.

"I love you, Ysabella," he said, like music to my ears.

Malakas ang kaba ng dibdib ko at may kung anong kumikiliti sa loob ng tiyan ko. Pero parang nagugustuhan ko yata iyon.

"Yes, maybe we just met. But your beauty already captivated me the first time my eyes laid on you... on that bar."

Nanatili akong tahimik.

"The second time we met was on the awarding," he added. "I already fall for you."

"Pero imposible—"

He cut me off with a hush. "No. It is possible. It already happened to me."

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Ang liwanag na sumasakop sa madilim na kapaligiran ay mas dumagdag sa kakaibang nararamdaman ko. It looked magical. I was fascinated by its beauty. Despite the darkness, those lights gave little hope to a lonely heart. Pero malungkot ba ang puso ko?

Yes.

And that was the answer.

Itanggi ko man.

"If you can't feel my feelings toward you by words... maybe you can feel them if I make a move."