SICKNESS AND HEALING

Baekhyun dreaded attending his performance and arts class for three reasons. First, he would have to see Taeyeon. Second, his friends would be watching him; waiting to see how he acted around Chanyeol with the information they had learned. And third, Chanyeol would be wanting to know why he keeps rejecting him. And to top everything off, Baekhyun felt like crap.

He had been super tired waking up that morning and his throat felt weird, like he was at the beginning of catching a cold. Also, he never realized how often a dog would have to go pee. It seemed like Lady Macbeth had been waking him up every two hours to pee and take a shit. She was also a bed hog.

Baekhyun made sure to dress warmly and let Muffin out before he left. The weather wasn't too bad and it wasn't overly cold, but Baekhyun was dressed as if it was winter in a fleece jacket and a scarf. He sighed and tiredly trudged from his apartment to drive himself to school.

He didn't remember the drive or the walk across campus, he just knew when he blinked his eyes open, he was sitting in his usual sit in the top row of the auditorium.

Taeyeon wasn't beside him, and his friends were avoiding him — he was alone. When the bell rung for the end of class, Chanyeol's voice pulled him back to the present. As he turned towards him, he noticed his friends watching him. Baekhyun sighed and made his way to Chanyeol.

When he was close enough for them to talk quietly, Chanyeol asked, "Are you okay?"

Baekhyun merely nodded and mumbled, "Yeah, I'm just tired."

Chanyeol nodded. "So did you get your dog?"

Baekhyun blushed and nodded. "Um, yeah. She's doing great. All nice and shinny."

Chanyeol nodded again, an awkward silence settling over them as neither of them knew what to say next. But then Chanyeol asked, "So what you said yesterday, did you really mean it? Because you've left me twice now and . . ." Chanyeol trailed off as he glanced around, to see if anyone was watching, before he grabbed Baekhyun's wrist and pulled him back stage.

Baekhyun stumbled over his feet as he followed him, and then Chanyeol was turning around and dropping Baekhyun's hand as he continued to say, "And now I don't know how you feel. I like you, but I don't know if I can be with you if you keep disappearing so much when I . . . kiss you. And technically you're not even mine, but maybe that's a good thing because . . ." Chanyeol trailed off, needing a moment to compose himself before softly saying, "Because I'm not strong enough to lose someone else. I'm sorry, Baekhyun, but I'm ending whatever this is."

Then he leaned forward to press a prolonged kiss to Baekhyun's forehead, his thumb stroking Baekhyun's cheek as he whispered, "Goodbye Baekhyun, this could have been something good." And then he was gone, leaving behind a very numb and brokenhearted Baekhyun.

For the second time in his life Baekhyun ditched his classes to seek the comfort of his bed. He was laying with Muffin — who for once decided to be docile and allow him to pet and hug her — when his phone buzzed with an incoming text message that had Baekhyun wincing with the loud noise. Baekhyun sighed and wiped his nose, reaching for his phone to read a text for Kyungsoo.

From: Squishy
To: B.B.H. Bunny

This isn't an apology. I just wanted to let you know that Jongin has mono, and I suggest you get yourself checked out. You looked like shit today, by the way.

That's all he had said. Baekhyun's eyes widened when he realized this wasn't just a simple cold, but mono!? And then something else dawned on him, and he mentally punched and cursed himself.

I have to tell Chanyeol, Baekhyun thought. Shit. What if I gave our professor mono? How lucky am I? Baekhyun thought sarcastically.

Internally weeping, Baekhyun slide out of bed and grabbed his warmest jacket and scarf and gave Muffin a pat on the head before shuffling from his apartment. As he walked, his legs felt like they were running through water — a nearly impossible task — and his head was pounding so much he felt like his skull was going to split in two at any moment.

He grimaced and continued to push himself forward, but when he tripped over his own feet and smacked his cheek against the cold hard ground, he couldn't find the energy to get back up as sleep started to tug him under.

He was unconscious within seconds, the pain finally disappearing.

Baekhyun was in and out of dreams from a fever induced sleep, and every time he thought he was finally awake, he would see Chanyeol and knew it couldn't be real. Chanyeol wouldn't be here. He made his feelings perfectly clear, Baekhyun thought as he slipped away into his dreams once again.

He dreamed of times when he was little; he dreamed of his friends finally forgiving him; he dreamed of never hurting Taeyeon. And, of course, he dreamed of Chanyeol.

Those dreams were always the sweetest and the cruelest because they would never be his reality. He wished he could apologize for real and tell Chanyeol the truth. He wished he could be brave enough like his dream-self when he confessed. He wished he could really feel Chanyeol's arms around him and not the illusion of him. And he knew he didn't know him, but he so desperately wished he could have had the chance too.

—–

The next time Baekhyun woke up his body was slick with sweat and he was parched. He sat up slowly, rubbing his face. And then he noticed something from the corner of his eye. His eyes had landed on a foot that was connected to a leg that was connected to a torso that was connected to....Chanyeol!? Baekhyun's jaw dropped and he pinched his thigh really hard, but when Chanyeol still hadn't disappeared, Baekhyun gasped at what that meant.

Chanyeol is really here, Baekhyun thought.

Baekhyun bit his bottom lip and just looked at Chanyeol, and as he did, he suddenly noticed that Chanyeol was shirtless. A furious blush raced up Baekhyun's neck into his face as he quickly averted his eyes to Chanyeol's face. That turned out to be a mistake too, because his lips were slightly parted and his cheeks were a soft pink and his hair was a curly mess.

Baekhyun furrowed his brow, and then realized that Chanyeol was slick in sweat. Baekhyun reached forward and tenuously placed the back of his hand against Chanyeol's forehead, and pulled it back with a gasp when he realized that he was burning up.

"No wonder he's not wearing a shirt," Baekhyun mumbled, his voice coming out hoarse and raspy from under use.

Baekhyun carefully slide to the edge of his bed and stood up, testing to see if he could walk before slowly shuffling his way to the kitchen. He got a wash cloth and soaked it under cold water before ringing it out. He walked a little easier back to his bedroom where he placed the cloth over Chanyeol's forehead after dabbing it over his face and chest.

Then feeling more energized he went to make himself a sandwich before taking a shower to wash away the sheen of sweat his fever had created. He felt better when he got out, and since he now realized his dreams of Chanyeol taking care of him were actually real, he decided the least he could do was repay the favor.

While Baekhyun had been in and out of consciousness, there had been moments when Chanyeol was there — always there really — and he had insisted that Baekhyun eat something and drink water. So now Baekhyun was doing the same.

Although he wasn't the best cook, he decided to make a simple pot of soup his mother had always made him when he was sick. Baekhyun ate a bowl himself before ladling some into a bowl for Chanyeol.

When Baekhyun walked into his room, Muffin was laying at Chanyeol's feet, watching everything with those big brown eyes of hers. Baekhyun smiled and patted her head, she sneezed at him, and Baekhyun rolled his eyes. Then Baekhyun noticed that Chanyeol's eyes were slightly open, showing that he was more or less awake. Baekhyun smiled again and gingerly sat on the corner of the bed.

"Hey. I have some soup for you, you should eat so you can get better. I'll help you, is that okay?" Baekhyun asked.

Chanyeol nodded and tried to sit up, but when he started to struggle Baekhyun instantly moved to help him. Baekhyun noticed with flaming cheeks that Chanyeol's skin was back to a normal temperature, and also, that he was now very close to him. Baekhyun blushed again as he scooped up some soup and held it out in front of Chanyeol.

He ate three spoonfuls before he said, "No more, Baek," and his eyes drifted shut once again.

Baekhyun nodded and stood up. He was almost out of the room when he heard Chanyeol softly say, "I wish this could be my forever . . ." And then Baekhyun was rushing out of the room, his cheeks ablaze and his breathing erratic as Chanyeol's words swirled around inside his head.

What did he mean? Does he mean . . . me? Am I his forever?

After composing himself long enough, Baekhyun walked back into the bedroom with a cold glass of water and set it beside Chanyeol. Then feeling brave, Baekhyun slipping into bed and laid as close as he dared beside Chanyeol as he softly studied his features. He got so lost in Chanyeol that he didn't notice he was watching him until Chanyeol spoke.

"Why do you have to be so beautiful?" Chanyeol whispered.

Baekhyun's eyes widened and he snapped them up to look at Chanyeol, his cheeks instantly reddening.

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol whispered as his eyes slowly began to close; he was falling back to sleep within minutes.

Baekhyun's heart clenched, and with silent tears rolling down his cheeks, he scooted closer and laid his cheek against Chanyeol's chest and wrapped an arm around his waist.

I'll regret this tomorrow, but for now just let me imagine . . . Baekhyun thought.

They laid in bed together the next day as well, only leaving the comfort of Baekhyun's bed to eat and wash and take out Muffin. Neither one of them ever said anything when the other would pull them into their arms. Neither one of them would say anything when they exchanged tender kisses, and nothing more because they were both too weak and healing from their sickness. Neither one of them wanted to talk about tomorrow — they'll only wanted to stay in the now.

Neither one of them wanted this to end.

The next morning, a Sunday, they were both well enough to venture out of bed. Baekhyun had excused himself first to shower, leaving Chanyeol alone in the kitchen as he contemplated whether or not to cook. He didn't think he should out of fear of upsetting their stomachs, so instead he settled on heating up some of the leftover soup Baekhyun had made a few days ago. He sat with Muffin on the couch as he waited for both Baekhyun and the soup to finish.

When Baekhyun finished with his shower he dressed warmly in a sweatshirt and sweatpants before making his way into his living room where he found Muffin laying with her head in Chanyeol's lap as he casually petted her.

Baekhyun's eyes widened and he cried, "H-how are you doing that? She never let's me get so close."

Chanyeol looked over his shoulder at Baekhyun and smiled. "I don't know. Maybe she likes me better," Chanyeol replied with a grin.

Baekhyun pursed his lips and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, eyeing Chanyeol suspiciously before saying, "You must have given her something. She's never that nice."

Chanyeol just laughed and reached his hand out, brushing his thumb over Baekhyun's cheek as he muttered, "Awe! My poor baby, the puppy doesn't like you." It was a moment after when they both realized what Chanyeol had said and done and he dropped his hand. "Um, I-I'm sorry."

Baekhyun felt tears in his eyes as he murmured, "Please, don't apologize. I . . . I want you to call me yours."

There was another moment of silence before Chanyeol said, "But you always run away from me." Baekhyun nodded and sniffled as he replied, "Y-yeah, I know, but . . . I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Chanyeol asked.

"Afraid of taking that step."

Chanyeol furrowed his brow in confusion and muttered, "Baek, I'm sorry, but I don't know what you mean."

"Sex, Chanyeol. I'm afraid of it. I'm . . . I'm a virgin," Baekhyun finally admitted.

Chanyeol's mouth formed a little "Ooh" of surprise as he asked, "So that's what it was? Why didn't you tell me before, I never would have . . ."

Chanyeol sighed, and then he gently tapped Muffin's backside to get her to move. Once she had, Chanyeol scooted towards Baekhyun and gently took his hand as he said, "I never would have pushed you or attempted anything if you would have told me before. I— Okay, I know what I said before about not wanting you, but it was a pathetic lie to keep you away. To somehow make myself forget about you." Chanyeol took a deep breath.

"But I was stupid, I realize that now. Byun Baekhyun, for some reason I can't help but to think about you. I can't help but to dream about you. I can't help but to . . . fall in love with you."

Baekhyun gasped, his eyes widening as he whispered, "Chanyeol, do you mean that?" Chanyeol nodded and slowly leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Baekhyun's forehead.

"I mean that wholeheartedly, Baekhyun. And sorry again for only just now being brave enough to tell you," Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun shook his head. "No, it's okay. I know now and that's all that matters. Thank you, Chanyeol, and I — I think I'm in love with you too," Baekhyun whispered.

But then he realized that Chanyeol hadn't said those words exactly, but that he was falling in love and not in love. Baekhyun blushed and quickly hurried to correct his mistake by saying, "I mean, I'm not in love with you but just falling. Being in love would be too soon. So I'm not, I'm only falling in lo—" Baekhyun's aimless babbling was cut off with a kiss.

Baekhyun blushed again and sheepishly murmured, "Thank you."

Chanyeol softly smiled and stroked his thumb over Baekhyun's cheek as he muttered, "Okay, I've changed my mind."

Baekhyun glanced at him confusedly, hurt starting to show on his face before Chanyeol continued by saying, "I mean, I'm no longer falling in love but already in love." Baekhyun had tears in his eyes, and Chanyeol brushed them away as he delicately kissed his lips. "I love you, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun closed his eyes and dropped his face to Chanyeol's chest, where he rested his cheek and wrapped his arms around his waist. "I love you too, Chanyeol," he softly muttered.

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Author's Notes

Hello, my lovely readers! How did everyone like this update? It's one of my favorites and I would love to hear your thoughts on it?

Also, please don't forget to vote, comment, and share with your friends. Thank you to everyone who has read and/or voted/commented on this story, it means a lot. It may also be coming to an end soon, but there's still for sure four or five chapters left.

Anyway, until next time.... 🌸🌸

Love from,
BunnyBaekkiee ❤️