Dedicated to: Crown-Seal

Me:
you unsent a message

Me:
okay, same place?

I immediately unsent the first one. I don’t want to act like I’m desperate. He can go, I can’t control him.

Siguro tanggapin ko nalang talaga. All I can do is to cherish the last moment we'll make.

Jhon:
yes tomorrow

I simply left a heart on his message. I went to sleep to avoid staying up late to appear well-rested when I see him tomorrow.

The day has arrived, and now I’m preparing for our final moment. I dressed neatly, wearing cardigan and trousers, letting my long straight hair down. I put on small lively earrings, but for my face, I could only manage a bit of powder and a touch of pink lipstick.

Me:
otw na ‘ko.

Sa biyahe ay pinagkatitigan ko lang ang chat room namin.

Never did I imagine that we would reach this point. I didn’t expect that my first move would lead to something beautiful. I never thought we’d become close, sharing our hobbies, thoughts, and dreams.

And I also didn’t anticipate the day would come when we would part ways once again.

Jhon:
nandito na ‘ko

Nang matanggap ko ‘yon ay siya ring paghinto ng sinasakyan kong taga amin lang din. Nagbayad na ako ng pamasahe at pumasok na sa gate ng baywalk park.

Me:
sa’n ka banda?

I asked wandering around.

Jhon:
sa likod mo

His reply felt like a splash of cold water. I turned to look, and there he is, a figure in a polo shirt and pants, now sporting a cap.

I smiled.

He approached me, and I hesitated to speak. I didn’t know what to say.

I still wasn’t accustomed to his handsomeness, finding myself staring blankly again. Nervousness crept in with his presence.

“Kumakanta ka ba, Maze?”

I stopped romanticizing him when he asked that.

“Ako?” I asked confusedly pointing myself.

He giggled. “Sino pa ba ibang Maze rito?”

I made a face. “Mazie ang pangalan ko, kailan ka pa nag-Maze sa akin ha, Jhon?”

“Wala lang, it suits you.”

Gulat ngayon ang mukha kong napatingin sa kanya. “Bakit?”

“We’ll not talk about it now, kain muna tayo. Tara sa Mcdo, treat ko.”

Curious man ay napatango agad ako at sumunod sa plano niya dahil kumakalam na rin ang sikmura ko.

When we’re half way there, he started to talk.

“Hindi mo pa rin sinasagot kung kumakanta ka ba.”

I chuckled. Paano ko ba sasabihin sa kanyang kumakanta nga ako pero matagal na akong tumigil do’n dahil sa anxiety.

“Kumakanta ako, ‘di ko nga lang alam kung maganda,” biro ko nalang.

“Maganda ‘yan, naaayon sa mukha,” he just said complimenting me again.

Para naman akong nai-estatwa. Hindi ko pa namalayan na pinagbukas niya pala ako ng pinto.

Eto na naman siya. Pa-fall.

I told him what I wanted to eat, and it turns out we both wanted to order the same thing, making the decision-making easier.

Once we placed our orders, I didn’t know what to do next. I felt shy about eating in front of him. He began to eat, and all I could do was watch him.

He laughed a little. “Go on, eat yours. Hindi ‘yang tinitignan mo lang ako.”

Tignan ka palang e busog na ‘ko.

I repeatedly shook my head with what I’m thinking. I brace myself and start to scoop my food.

We didn’t talk much while eating, and our focus was solely on the food. After he finished, while I was left with just french fries, he finally started a conversation.

“May plano akong bumili ng maleta ngayon sa Mall, ayos lang ba sa ‘yo?”

Now that he’s talking about that thing. My expression suddenly changed. To think na aalis na talaga siya, parang nanghihina ako.

I nodded as my response.

Susulitin ko nalang siguro ang araw na ‘to na kasama siya.

Nang matapos ako ay sumakay na nga kami ng sasakyan pa-Mall. Dumiretso kami sa 2nd floor dahil doon naka-display ang mga maleta.

He was shopping, and I joined in the selection. When I found a perfectly sized plain gray one, I immediately pointed it out to him.

“Maganda oh!” I suggested.

Agad naman siyang napatingin sa akin imbes na sa tinuturo ko.

“Saan ka ba nakatingin?” gulo kong tanong.

“Sa maganda,” salita lang niya.

Nag-init bigla ang mukha ko sa bwesit na salitang ‘yon.

“Iyong m-maleta k-kase.”

I heard him chuckled before getting the one I’ve recommended.

“Ganda ‘diba? Iyan na dalhin mo,” pangungusenti ko sa kanya.

He just shooked his head. “Kung pwede lang ikaw dalhin ko.”

Shuta pwede ba tumigil na siya! Huhu

I instinctively hid my face against him.

Tangina. Tangina.

What the hell is he doing? Nambobola na naman siya at nakakainis dahil sobrang kinikilig ako!

“Kanina ka pa ah, hindi porket aalis ka kailangan mong gawin sa ‘kin ‘to,” I complaint.

He just shrugged. “I’m just stating the obvious.”

I tsked. “At sa maleta mo pa talaga ako pinagkompara?”

This time, he laughed. “Kahit saan kita i-kompara, mas maganda ka.”

And my heart fluttered again. Hindi ko alam kung totoo pero bahala na.

Kahit kaya sa ex niya? I wonder.

We’re at the counter now, and he chose the suitcase I suggested. He even asked if I was going to buy anything. I just shook my head, although I wanted to get a new hoodie.

As we were about to leave, a song we both knew suddenly played. We looked at each other and shared a smile.

“Looking in your eyes I see a paradise...~”

He started singing, syncing with the song. His voice was impressive.

“This world that I found is too good to be true~” I continued.

And then we smiled again to each other.

“KTV?”
“KTV?”

We both forgot the change at the cashier in our excitement. As we approached the KTV room near the baywalk area, we quickly selected the songs we wanted to sing.

Unexpectedly, he chose a song that took me by surprise. I couldn’t imagine how he could sing that particular song, especially with me in the room.

The delightful sound of the chosen song’s instruments began to play. All I could do was gaze at him, holding the microphone, waiting for his turn to sing.

Unang tugtog palang parang hihimatayin na ako sa kilig.

“When a day is said and done. In the middle of the night. And you’re fast asleep, my love. Stay awake looking at your beauty. Telling myself I’m the luckiest man alive.”
He singed those lines staring me. I swallowed hard not letting myself to burst in front of him.

“Cause so many times I was certain. You were gonna walk out of my life. Why you take such a hold of me, girl. When I'm still trying to get my act right?”

“What is the reason when you really could have any man you want? I don’t see what I have to offer. I should’ve been a season. Guess you could see I had potential. Do you know you’re my miracle?”

I’m sweating. I’m really sweating. Siya ang kumakanta pero ako ang pinagpapawisan!

Bakit ito ang ikinanta niya? Bakit! Gusto niya bang mahulog ako ng todo! Dagdagdan pa ng boses niyang nakaka-bwesit sa ganda.

Suddenly, Gray comes to mind, along with the story I’ve shared and everything that has unfolded.

Jhon seems to mirror the qualities I’ve written about the guy – he’s my Gray, my kind of Gray.

He exists.

“I’m like a statue. Stuck staring right at you. Got me frozen in my tracks. So, amazed how you take me back. Each and every time our love collapsed.”

“Statue. Stuck staring right at you. So, when I’m lost for words. Every time I disappoint you. It’s just because I can’t believe. That you’re so beautiful.”

As he concluded, emotions overwhelmed me. Without hesitation, I hugged him. This is our final moment together; I couldn’t let it pass without feeling his presence. I embraced every second we still had together.

After a brief moment, he hugged me back, and we held onto each other, savoring our final embrace.

“Gray... Jhon,” I finally mouthed.

He released himself from the hug, wearing a puzzled expression as he turned to face me.

In response, I genuinely smiled.

“That name also suits you.