"OF COURSE I'M UPSET." I throw my hands in the air, unsure of what to do with them except use them to exclaim just how angry I am. "I'm fucking pissed! I--I'm furious, Sej!"

My entire body is shaking, and I feel as though I'm buzzed purely off of rage. My teeth are clenching against one another, almost to the point where it hurts and my red-painted nails are digging into my palms so hard I think they might leave reddened crescents behind.

"You knew." I breathe out, continuing to stomp down the hallway, my heels clicking against the white-marbled floor. "You knew that my best friend was a tribute and you didn't tell me!"

"Mari--" Sejanus, too, sounds out of breath. He's probably riddled with guilt and struggling to think straight as well. "I didn't know she would be--"

"Mia." I cut him off, stopping. Her name is Mia, you prick.

"I didn't know that Mia would be selected. I only got dad to let you and I be the mentors for District 2. I thought that's what you wanted."

My dark brows are now furrowed together, pushed so far together they're nearly connected now as I turn and face him. "None of this is what I wanted! I didn't want a first-row ticket to watch my friend and your classmate die!"

"Then help her survive."

What he says catches me off guard--pings at my heart. "What?"

He blows out a breath and I watch his chest rise and fall through his red blazer. "Her life is in your hands now, Mari. You can give her strategies, food..."

I'm listening to what he's saying but I don't want to. He's right and I wish I didn't know it.

"You can save her." he says. "You're the smartest person I know, Mari. If anyone can win these damn games, it's you."

I wish that what he's saying wasn't true; that I truly believed I had no chance at winning. However, I don't want to fall victim to the Capitol's cruel and twisted games and unravel myself in the process.

A girl's life is in my hands and if something were to happen, all arrows would be pointing to me.

I swallow, clenching and unclenching my jaw. "I'm not letting her blood be on my hands."

"Mari—"

"Find another fucking mentor, Sejanus. I'm done." I snap, cutting him off.

I turn on my heels and begin to walk away but I'm met with Coriolanus looking at me like a dear in the headlights down the hall.

Fucking perfect.

I give a small shake of my head as I silently curse myself, trying to untense my shoulders as I take an imaginary deep breath.

My shoulder hits against Coriolanus', and surprisingly enough, I don't feel bad. I don't feel bad about hitting his shoulder or yelling at Sejanus and I don't have a single regret in my mind regarding my decision.

NEARLY MINUTES INTO MY WALK HOME, regrets begin sinking into my brain and I contemplate going back to apologize.

I feel guilty because my brother is sensitive and I've likely hurt his feelings, but I also feel accomplished—somewhere in my body.

My mind is like the leaves falling off the tree that lay in a pile at the bottom of where I walk. An assortment of red, green, and yellow crunching with each step.

Red to symbolize the rage and adrenaline still heavy in my veins and pumping my blood.

The golden leaves feel like a portal to the light in my heart— pride, gratitude, bravery.

And green, a well of negativity: I'm green with envy and dark with guilt.

A thousand and one emotions coursing throughout me that I feed off of, but am unsure what to do with.

The shadow of my body on the pavement in front of me is larger than my figure is, and I wonder if it's to symbolize my future—growth.