I'M FROZEN IN FEAR AND I'M BACK in this damned arena.

Sejanus is kneeling over Marcus' body, he has tears in his eyes and I can see his lips moving as if he's speaking but no words come out.

I hear a scraping from above, and I look up to see a tribute staring right down at me, taunting me with an axe.

Once I go to look back at Sejanus, Coriolanus has appeared with his hand on my brother's shoulder and he, too, is speaking but I can't hear a word.

Their movements are slow as I watch Sejanus' face contort in an emotion I haven't seen on him in a long time.

But before I know it, the world has fallen silent and Coryo has grabbed my hand and he's taken off running.

My feet feel like they're floating and my entire body is weightless—drifting through this arena with nothing but the sound of my ears ringing.

Sejanus trips and Coriolanus runs to his aid, leaving me and the tribute to battle.

He strikes—his machete nearly hitting me as I dive under the metal bar and let my body move me.

I dodge his second and third strike but by the time I've gotten to the fourth, he's cornered me and there's no where left for me to go.

My arms are tucking my head beneath them, acting as a shield as I await my fate.

However, there's no hit in my back or my arm and I'm left without pain.

I slowly let myself burrow out of the shell I've made with my arms and I look up and the first thing I see is the tribute collapsing on the ground next to me.

The boy takes his last breath and his eyes almost go empty but before Coriolanus' last hit, he says something to me and it's the only thing I've heard spoken yet.

"You've fallen in love with a murderer."

My entire body jolts up with a gasp and I'm suddenly in a room I don't recognize.

Dark, scraped up Gray walls surround me and it feels as though they've begun to close in on me.

I'm sticky and tucked into these white sheets and I can't breathe. I'm being buried alive and cocooned in these 4 walls and—

A hand touched my bare back and I jump.

I can't breathe and there are hands touching me and I'm enveloped in a bed I don't recognize and the only thing I can feel is my clammy hands as I go to push my hair out of my face and the feeling of the air escaping my lungs.

"Mare," a soft voice says out to me and I feel another cold hand lay on my shoulder. I quickly shake it off and lean forward, my head now buried in my hands as I tremble in fear. "Marian, it's me."

His voice echoes in my mind and I'm sure I'm still trapped in this nightmare.

I can feel the bed sink beneath my body as he stands from it and he's kneeling in front of me. 

"Sweetheart," he whispers, his hand slowly coming up to cup the side of my face. My eyes meet his and I don't think I've ever seen him look so worried. His eyes are wide and crazed with concern as he looks down at me. "you're okay. It was just a dream." 

I nod back at him, blinking back the tears forming in my eyes. 

It was just a nightmare, and I've probably scared him out of his mind. He's likely assumed I'm a lunatic and if he did, I wouldn't blame him.

"I'M SORRY FOR SCARING YOU," I tell Coryo with a defeated sigh. I keep my eyes averted because I'm afraid that if I look at him again I might worsen the guilt bubbling up in my belly. 

"You don't have to apologize, Mare." he replies quietly, eyes scanning me as we walk up the stairs of the academy. 

I do need to apologize. I need to apologize a thousand times because I've become so infatuated with Coriolanus Snow and now I can't let him run off because I had some stupid nightmare. 

"Are you sure you're going to be okay today?" 

"Probably not. But," I offer him a sad half-smile. "What choice do I have?"