IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE I'D LAST SEEN CORIOLANUS and I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or angry for the daughter he's neglected for thirty-one days. 

Now, Janus was at Festus' house and Eliot and I had just gone on our first date night in months. I was giggling up a storm as he guided me into our penthouse, my hands covering my eyes as I awaited him to reveal whatever big surprise I'd been walking into was. 

"Can I look now?" I asked, grinning from ear to ear. 

"Just a few more steps." He said quietly, and I could hear the smile in his voice as he moved me around the corner with his hands on my hips. I could feel the rough paint of the wall against my bare arm and I could only imagine we were on our way to the living room. He releases my waist and exclaims. "Now!" 

The palms of my hands flew away from over my eyes and what I saw was horrifying in fact. It should be something that'd make me want to scream and throw my arms around Eliot, but instead, I feel the complete opposite. 

Marry me?  The rose petals read out on the wall in front of me, candles lit at the floor shaped in a heart. 

I blinked and when I looked down, Eliot was down on one knee, beaming with that thousand-dollar smile. He had a gorgeous ring with what appeared to be a purple-amethyst gem inside. 

Purple is my favorite color. 

He's asking me to marry him using my favorite flower and favorite color in the house I've always dreamed of living in and I should want to say yes. I would say yes. 

But I can't. 

He notices the tears welling in my eyes but that doesn't tug the grin off of his face, no, it isn't until my brown eyes are burdened with guilt is that he finally realizes something is wrong. 

His face falls and he's gone pale as a ghost. "What? What's wrong?" 

My bottom lip is quivering so intensely and I feel like my chest is ready to cave in on itself. I don't feel entirely human--I feel like I'm dying, like I can't breathe and my heart is going to explode--

Eliot's hands fall on either side of my arms and I realize he's now standing, the red velvet box that holds the engagement ring rubbing against the bare skin of my back my dress allows to show. 

I pull away from him and I didn't even necessarily mean to, let alone have it be such an aggressive manner. 

 My cheeks are wet with tears now and I can barely fucking see because of them. 

"Mari?" his voice is soft as he calls out for me, still standing in front of me I fixate on the rose petals, not bearing to look at him. 

And I don't. "I slept with Coriolanus." 

But for whatever reason, I do. I look into his brown eyes as I say the words and I watch his entire world fall apart behind his eyes. 

My shoulders shake with the sob I let out. "I never meant for it to happen." 

I don't think I've felt this suffocated with so many emotions since seeing Sejanus on that platform. 

God, even the image makes me sick. 

I'm so guilt-stricken now that my entire stomach threatens to release itself out of my body--I suddenly want to vomit that I have to contain it with my hand covering my mouth. 

"When?" he asks, tears pricking his own eyes and shattering my heart into a thousand pieces as his bottom lip begins to quiver. 

I clutch the cloth of shirt over my heart for support from falling apart right here, on my knees in front of him. "The night we fought." 

Saying the words makes me feel just that much worse. I feel awful on the inside, but on the outside, I must look like a pathetic muster of tears and a storm of unloyalty. 

"I--" Eliot chokes out, eyes flickering with disbelief. "Marian, that was a month ago!" 

"I know!" I cry out in response, but my voice is barely above a whisper. All overwhelming emotion has stripped each bit of energy from me. 

He sits down at the edge of the bed we share and collapses. He hides his head in his hands and I feel worse now, being the one who cheated, than when Coriolanus confessed to cheating on me with Lucy Gray. 

But, as if things couldn't possibly get worse. There was a pounding on the door. 

Quickly, I wiped the tears of my face and went to answer the door--it sounded important given the urgency in the knock. 

However, once I opened the door, I thought this is the end. This is where I actually fall apart. 

"I had to see you." Coriolanus says, hair messy and eyes unfocused and crazed as he looks at me, but then, the urgency in his eyes dims like a light at the sight of me. Coriolanus, unfortunately, knows every bit of me, inside and out, and no matter how much time has passed, he'll likely always be able to tell when something is wrong in my fucked-up mind. 

I quickly slim the space between the door and it's frame, trying to hide the fact from Eliot that Coriolanus is at our door. "You can't be here--" 

It's too late. Eliot opens the door wide, startling me as it slams against the wall beside me. 

Eliot's jaw is clenched tight and it's the last thing I see before his fist connects with Coriolanus' jaw.