✏️ Nathan

"It should be right up here. I hear music." I said, stepping up the staircase leading to the rooftop.

Marcus was in step right behind me.

"Dude, you look great. If Caleb was here, he's going to love what you're wearing." Marcus said.

"The more you talk, the more I question if you're really straight. Are you hitting on me?"

"Dude can't tell another dude he thinks he's looking real good? Grow up." Marcus laughed.

I laughed back with him. He was right though, I specifically picked out what I was wearing tonight in hopes of catching the attention of a particular person in the off chance he made it here tonight after all.

I was wearing a white t-shirt underneath a ribbed long-sleeve dark navy buttoned-up shirt - left unbuttoned, of course and some black khaki pants. I knew Caleb would like something like this.

I'm happy Marcus was here with me to ward off some of my unwanted thoughts. I had to shake him out of my head so having company could keep me distracted.

That's when I heard it. Walking through the door that led to the rooftop patio, we stepped into the crowd. It was a huge turnout.

But I was more focused on the lyrics of the song was ringing through the air. And more importantly, the voice of the one singing them.

"Holy shit. They're good." Marcus shouted beside me over the music.

🎵 I've never been a fan of chance,

But I'd follow you to any place

If it's Hollywood or Bishopsgate, I'm coming too

If you're feelin' down, I just wanna make you happier, baby

Wish I was around, I just wanna make you happier, baby

"That's him. Caleb is here." I said. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He looked incredible. His long black hair dropping in his face, his bare chest glistening with sweat as his open black shirt sways in the wind. He pushes his hair off of his face and I want to crumble right there.

I step over to the side for a better view and Marcus follows me.

"Holy shit. You didn't tell me he looked like a Jake Gyllenhaal and Aaron Taylor Johnson love child."

"I guess I left that part out." I sniffed, stuffing my hands in my pants. Suddenly I felt wildly nervous. There Caleb is looking like the magnetic, gorgeous man he always was and here I am. Plain Bob. Why did he ever even like me? He could get any guy or girl, looking like that. No wonder he hasn't called me back.

"Hey. Get out of your head." Marcus gripped my shoulder. I looked at him, trying to focus back into the present moment.

"Sorry." I grimaced.

"He's lucky to have gotten a chance with you. You give off a whole young Matt Damon vibe. It's pretty striking." Marcus pointed at my face. He was standing super close to me and I couldn't help but laugh and grabbed a hold of his arm. After realizing I was gay, I've also realized 'straight' Marcus is super touchy. He looked back at me

I averted my eyes back to the stage and breathed in. Calebs gaze was focused right on Marcus and I. He gripped the microphone and I instinctively moved away from Marcus, sliding his hand away from my shoulder.

"What?" He asked, following my stare. "Oh." He smiled, standing up straight. "I think I'm making your boyfriend a little jealous." He whispered in my ear.

"Jesus, Marcus. Stop." I turned around so I could focus on something, anything else.

"I'm going to find us a drink. Don't get yourself into too much trouble." He patted me on the back and I nodded my head.

Walking over to a nearby ledge, I looked off into the distance. His voice was falling all around me and I couldn't help but close my eyes as I continued to listen to the words.

🎵 Now you're in my life

I can't get you off my mind

I couldn't help but shift my eyes back to Caleb. Did he pick this song for me? I'd hate to be egotistical but the lyrics did sound pretty spot on.

The song came to an end and the crowd went wild. I smiled at the reception. They obviously could see what I could see.

"He's great, isn't he?" A small voice said beside me. I turned and was greeted by Sarah's dazzling smile.

"There's my girl." I smiled, wrapping her up in my arms. She nuzzled her face in my neck and I kissed the top of her head. I practically picked her up as a result of our height difference.

"Don't you forget it." She smiled as I placed her back down. "I'm so happy you came tonight."

"Yeah," I breathed in, looking back at the stage. Caleb looked like he was anxious. Taking a sip of his drink and talking to Tony about something. His eyes never left me. "I thought you said he wasn't coming." I nodded towards the stage.

Sarah followed my eyesight. "Yeah, about that...I sort of lied to you a little bit." She grimaced. "Please, please, please don't be mad."

I looked at her shocked and then confused. "Wait, why would you lie about that?"

"I don't know. You both have been so mopey since coming back from Toronto. I wanted to see you and him happy." She shrugged, smiling at the stage.

"He's been upset?" My heart hurt. But, I also felt relieved. It's nice to know it wasn't all in my head. What we had that weekend. What we had in general. It was special.

"He thinks he hurt you." She muttered.

I sighed. "Well, he sort of did. He didn't have to leave me there with no answers. I felt like an idiot."

"Maybe, just maybe for once in both of your lives - you could, I don't know, talk about it?" She teased, poking me in the side.

"Ouch!" I laughed, rubbing my sore spot. "Why? What do you get out from all of this?"

Her smile faded and she looked down at her shoes. "Nathan, I'm going to Australia for a few months. I need to sort out my life. I can't keep doing...whatever this is." She laughed sadly.

"Sarah...I don't know what to say." I felt sick all of a sudden. She was my safety zone for the past four years. And now she's just going to be gone?

"Just say you're happy for me and you'll be okay when I leave." She pleaded with her eyes. I could never say no to her.

I exhaled and looked back at Caleb on the stage. Something tells me I'll be okay. "I'm proud of you." I smiled down at her. "Just promise me you'll face time me."

"We'll make a night of it! Every Sunday." She grabbed my hand and pulled me in close. I laughed as our foreheads leaned on each others. She was so cute.

"Am I interrupting something?" Marcus coughed behind us. We both looked back to see Marcus standing there with a couple of beers in his hands. I should've told him I'm on a vodka sprite kick right now but it'll do.

"No, you're good." I smiled. "This is Sarah. Sarah Lockwood." I tilted my head down to Sarah but got distracted once I saw the look in her face.

She was staring at Marcus like she just seen Chris Hemsworth for the first time. I looked back at him who had a similar look plastered on her face.

"Oh, dear god." I rolled my eyes. Does this girl have this effect on everyone she meets? Wait, I know the answer to that. Yes. Yes, she does.

"You must be Marcus. Nathan has told me so much about you." She said holding out her hand.

"Oh, he has - has he? Now I'm just wondering why it's taken him so long for us to meet." He said wrapping his hand around hers. Are handshakes supposed to last this long?

I shook my head and laughed while taking my beer from his hand. Turning my attention back to the stage, I realized they had started playing another song.

Ode to a Conversation Stuck In Your Throat by Del Water Gap

One of my favorite bands. He must've told Tony to play this moments ago. This can't just be a coincidence, right? The lyrics hit me like a bullet train. His voice surrounded me and brought me closer to the stage.

🎵I do not want to fight this anymore

I just want to lay back and watch you pin me to the bed

I used to call you my best friend

Way back before you were my everything

I moved my way through the crowd, pushing past the others, leaving Marcus and Sarah giggling and dancing on their own.

I walked up to the stage slowly. Looking up, locking eyes with Caleb as he strummed on his electric guitar. His eyes never left mine. Pinned to me keeping me in his trance.

🎵 And it hits me

I don't want anybody else touching you like I do

Like I do, like me?

It sent me back to that hotel room when I woke up to his mouth wrapped around my dick. Him telling me that my dick was his and only his. I wanted it to be true, I wanted it to be true so badly. Fuck, it was true.

The song slowly came to an end and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Everyone started clapping and I felt my heartbeat start to speed up.

"Okay, we're going to take a 20 minute break, thanks everyone!" Caleb called into the mic.

I suddenly didn't know what to do with myself. Looking for an exist nearby, I was interrupted by a slight movement in my peripheral.

"Was that a friend?" Calebs smooth voice hummed through the noise around us. He was crouched down at the edge of the stage in front of me taking a sip of his drink.

I gave him a confused look. "Who?" I asked, taking a sip of my drink.

He looked down at my beer and shook his head. "You don't like that. Here." He pushed his drink at me. I looked at his deep blue eyes and sighed.

I placed my beer on the stage and instead picked up his drink he was offering. Our fingers brushed against each others and I could feel the sparks practically jumping off my skin.

"He's a friend." I admitted. I wanted him to sulk more but seeing his worried face had me cave. I didn't want a second to go by with him thinking I was unavailable.

The corner of his mouth quirked up into a slight smile. He obviously liked that answer.

"Well, tell your friend to keep his hands off of what's mine." He winked.

"We'll see about that." I rolled my eyes, placing the cup back beside the beer and turned away from him.

"Where are you going?" He shouted standing up.

I smiled at him before turning back around on route to find Sarah.

With the sun setting and the little lightbulbs hung up all around us, it was such a beautiful night. I found Sarah rather quickly. She was talking to a group of people, including Marcus at the corner of the party.

"Hey babe, everything okay?" She looked at me concerned. Marcus looked at me worried too. I must have it written completely on my face.

"I just need some air." I shrugged.

They looked at each other and then back at me. "Dude, we're outside."

"Right." I exhaled, looking around. Maybe I needed to leave.

"Here, why don't you take my keys to my apartment. Just hang out there for awhile and then you can come back. Take your time." She said handing me her keys. "Just don't go in my bedroom bedside table."

"What's in your bedside table?" Marcus smiled. Sarah looked up at him and blushed.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Okay, I'm out of here. Marcus, you good?"

Marcus looked down at Sarah and smiled. "Yeah, dude. I'm good."

I gave them both a nervous smile and brushed past them.

Rushing through the doors of the rooftop, I ran down the steps until I found her floor.

I don't know what I was thinking coming here. If Caleb wanted me, he would've seeked me out. He's been back for a week and hasn't reached out. Clearly the time away wasn't as euphoric for him as it was for me. And I wasn't about to chase him. We've all seen what happens when I chase someone. Chaos. That's what happens.

I find Sarahs door at the end of the hallway and quickly push through the door. Slamming it shut behind me, I feel a rush of relief. Away from all those people, away from the million questions floating through my mind about Caleb.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the door, breathing in and out.

Suddenly, the door burst open pushing me forward. The man of the hour, Caleb makes his way hurriedly inside and slams the door behind him.

"What's going on? Did you follow me?" I asked.

Caleb was panting. "I forgot how damn fast you were. I really need to work on my cardio."

I laughed. "Yeah, you really do." And then it clicked. He was chasing after me. After me.

"Why did you-" I started.

And before I could finish my sentence, Caleb was across the small distance we had between eachother, placed his hands on either side of my face, and pressed his beautiful soft lips to mine.