🎶🎵Caleb

"Dad, we need to talk." I stepped into my fathers office. It's been a week since being back and I've been so sick. No word from Nathanial since returning back home, but then again - why would he speak to me?

I left him, again. After I explicitly told him I would never do that to him again. I could barely stand looking at myself since that day I walked out of the wedding. My dad has barely spoken to me since I came back home with no engagement news, too.

He wouldn't take my reasonings as an answer either. I'm a disappointment in his eyes. I couldn't stand it! And the fact that he didn't even know the whole truth and still found me disappointing. Now that was just the cherry on top.

"Caleb, I don't have time for your foolish ways right now." He said rummaging through a stack of papers on his desk. His glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. We barely sunk the Jefferson account no thanks to you. Not to mention, you stroll in here sulking like I didn't just fund your little weekend away. I mean, come on Caleb," He slammed his hands down on the desk. "Can't you for once get serious about something in your life."

I breathed in. Here it goes.

"I know. And, I am. Dad...I quit." I exhaled.

Dad went still. "No." He grunted, looking back down at his papers.

"Dad, I have to. As much as I like what I do - I hate disappointing you even more."

"And you don't think this doesn't disappoint me?" He huffed.

I strolled over to the desk and sat on the chair opposite him, looking straight in his eyes.

"I'm so thankful of you and everything you've done for me all my life. You really have done everything you could for me after Mom passed." I looked down at my hands. "But, you've been right this whole time. I have to get serious. About myself, about my future. And I just can't do that when I'm being spoon-fed from my dad the whole time. Pushing me towards engagement with Sarah I think was the final straw for me. You can't puppet master my whole life or else I'm going to constantly disappoint you. I need to stand on my own two feet, Dad."

He breathed out and leaned back in his chair. "And how do you suppose you'll do that?"

"I talked to Troy and he got me an interview at the high-class restaurant he works at as a server. It wont pay me nearly as much as you were but at least I could make ends-meet for a bit while I look for another marketing job. I will need a reference, of course." I plead with him through my eyes.

He remained still, not giving me any hint of what he may be thinking. "Caleb...I pushed you too hard. I see that now. I never wanted you to quit, I just wanted you to be the best version of yourself."

I was shocked. I may be egotistical enough to never apologize (or so I thought) but my Dad was even worse. Hearing him feel sorry for how he's treated me...I felt relieved.

"I know, Dad. I want to make you proud but I think I can only do that if I have a chance to stand on my own two feet." I shrugged.

He slowly nodded his head and looked away, out the window of his apartment.

"Let me take care of your rent for the next three months while you look for a new job. You don't have to serve. I'll take care of you until then."

I bit my lip as pressure rose up behind my eyes. "Dad...there's something else."

He looked at me confused.

"The reason I couldn't go through with proposing to Sarah...it wasn't just because she was over me. It's also..."

"Spit it out son, I don't have all day."

"I'm bisexual Dad. I like women and I like men. I think I've always been like that but I really came to terms with it this weekend when I..." I could barely get it out. But I knew I had to. Now or never, he had to know. "I fell in love with someone. I think I've always been in love with him but I only now just came to terms with it." I swallowed hard and looked down at my hands.

There was a beat of silence and I felt dizzy. "If you don't want to be in my life anymore...that's okay. I know I'll be okay. It would really suck - but I'll be okay." I breathed in.

"Caleb..." Dad's voice broke through the silence. I looked up at him, trying to manage seeing him through my watery eyes. He was all blurry. "What ever made you think I wouldn't be okay with you being gay? Do you think I'm homophobic?"

My mouth dropped open. "Well...you-you really wanted me to marry Sarah."

"Yeah, because I thought you loved her. You were constantly going back and forth with her, I just thought you were being stupid and wasting both of your times." He shrugged, clasping his hands on the desk. "Son, you will be my son forever until you die. I don't care if you want to marry a woman, a man, a they or them, I just care that you're happy. Does this someone make you happy?"

My tear rolled down my cheek as I thought about Nathanial. He's always been the happiest part of my day. Last weekend just cemented how much he meant to me. "So much. I think I might've lost him though..." I bowed my head.

"Well, you said it yourself. It's time to get serious. You've got someone waiting for you? Don't let them get away, Caleb. Go catch 'em." He shifted his glasses back up his face and started rummaging through his papers again.

I guess the conversation was over now. I stood up from his desk and started walking towards the door.

"Oh, and Caleb?"

I stopped in my tracks and turned to look at him over my shoulder.

"I love you and I'm proud of you." He said.

I felt my shoulders drop. I should've done this so long ago. I've always wanted to hear those words from his mouth.

"I love you too, Dad. Thanks." I smiled.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me : Lunch at Gusto?

Sarah: Be there in 15.

I took in a big breath of air. I haven't seen Sarah since that night at the wedding and I have to admit - I was feeling pretty nervous. Not necessarily about seeing her but more about what she was planning on telling me.

Was she with Nathanial now? Were they back together and planning to get married? Babies? UGH! My stomach hurt. I walked to the restaurant and tried to calm myself down.

Apparently I was all about big moments today. First quitting my job, then coming out to my Dad and now speaking with Sarah. I was on a real roll.

I rounded the corner and strolled up to the same café where this whole thing started. I guess, ended when it came to me and Sarah, but started something so amazing with Nathanial. My heart sunk at the remembrance of his absence.

"Hi!" A cute redhead walked up to me, flashing her nice smile. "Table for one?" She said in a happy tone, clutching a menu with her hand.

"Table for two, actually!" I smiled. She nodded her head and ushered me to a nearby booth inside.

I slipped in, said my thank you and sunk into the booth. I don't know why but I feel exhausted.

I ran my hand through my hair and pulled on my collar. I can't wait to get out of my work clothes. This buttoned up shirt is choking me at the moment.

"Caleb brown." Her sharp voice cut through my thoughts. I turned my head to look at the tall, slender blonde towering over me. She rested her hand on her hip and shook her head. "You have a lot of explaining to do."

I groaned, and slumped into the booth even more. "You know."

She gave me a quick laugh before slipping into the other side of the booth across from me. Brushing her blonde hair over her bare shoulders, she revealed her cute little white strapless top. "You think you could hide anything from me? I've known you for how long now?" She rolled her eyes.

The redhead came back around. "Can I grab you two some drinks to start?" She smiled.

"I'll take an expresso martini." Sarah smiled, clasping her hands together and leaning on the table.

"I'll take a vodka with sprite, please." I smiled up at her. The waitress nodded her head and went on her way.

Sarah looked at me confused. "Since when do you drink those?"

"Since Nathanial got me onto them in Toronto. It was kind of our drink." I shook my head as a flash of memories of us laughing on the couch together over the drinks sprang to mind.

Fuck. I missed the guy.

"This is just so crazy. You two follow me to Toronto - very romantic, by the way, only to...what? Fall for each other?" She shook her head.

"I guess...wait, how much do you know?"

"Nuh uh. You're not squeezing information out of me. If you want to talk to Nathan, you can ask him yourself. Have you two even talked since being back?" She crossed her arms and leaned back in her booth.

I looked down at my palms.

"A note, Caleb? Seriously?" She huffed. I know she was referring to the poor excuse of a 'goodbye' I had left him back at the hotel before I ran off to the airport.

I've got some things to take care of. Sorry for running off. I'll be in touch. - Caleb

"You don't understand. I had to leave, my dad bought me a plane ticket and I had to go."

She rolled her eyes and groaned. Just then, the waitress walked back over to us with our drinks.

"Just the drinks, thank you." I smiled up at her. She nodded her head and walked away.

"Caleb... you know that has nothing to do with it. You could've called him. Texted him. Anything to tell him you weren't just...leaving." She said before taking a long sip of her drink. I followed suit as I thought over her words.

"You don't think I already know that? I messed up. Again. All I ever do is mess up when it comes to that kid. First, stealing you away from him and then now with this. I can't win."

She held up a finger in front of her face and waved it. "Nope, you're not doing that. You're not throwing yourself a little pity party and calling it quits like you did all those years ago. We both hurt Nathan that night, not just you. You could've...I don't know - apologized? Like I did? We messed up but he's such an honest person. He would've forgiven you. I didn't understand it then why you two were best friends but I honestly understand it now." She shook her head.

I was confused. "Why?" I breathed.

"Because you two were two halves of a whole. Soulmates. You two shared something so special that it's ignited even throughout all these years. I saw it in his eyes when he talked about you the other night and I see it in your eyes now. You two are in love." She gave me a sympathetic smile. My heart pounded underneath my chest.

I looked around the restaurant. This was all so much. I feel like I knew it deep down but I haven't come to terms with it yet.

I loved everything about Nathanial. I always have. How smart he was, how kind he was to everyone else around him. I loved how he made every situation fun and new and exciting. It was like I was relearning the world all over again with him. There's so much I imagine doing with him and it makes my heart speed up.

"Yeah...I am in love with him." I exhaled. I feel like a huge weight just fell off my shoulders. "Is that weird for you?" I asked.

Sarah smiled. "No." She reached across the table and held my hand. "I love you both, so much. But I have a lot to figure out myself. I'm clearly all over the place and I wasn't doing either of you any favors." She shrugged. "I'll always want to be in both of your lives as long as you'll have me." She squeezed my hand and I squeezed hers back.

"You really are amazing, you know." I rubbed the back of her hand with my thumb.

She shrugged her one shoulder. "I know." She winked.

I laughed.

"Just do me on favor." She breathed.

"Anything."

"Fight for him. Nathan deserves to be fought for."

I blinked at her. She was so right. Nathan spent so long doing the chasing, it was his turn to be caught.