✏️ Nathan

"Come on Nathan, I miss you and it'll be so fun, I promise," Sarah begged into the phone.

It's been a week since I've gotten back from Toronto and I could honestly say there's nothing less I want to do than go to a rooftop party. Excuse me for not feeling in the party mood.

But then again, this is Sarah we're talking about and when have I ever said no to her? Well, besides last weekend when I told her I wasn't interested in getting into a relationship with her.

"Sarah, I don't know...I've been feeling kind of off these past few days." I mumbled, clicking on my screen pointlessly.

I heard her sigh. "I get it. I really do. Caleb is...he's unforgettable. But so are you, Nathan. You've always been so special. You deserve to have fun. Screw Caleb, for just one night."

Screw Caleb, she says. Funny, that's exactly my problem. How badly I want to screw Caleb and he hasn't even texted or called me since Toronto.

My heart hurt.

"How about I'll let you know." I smiled. "You've always got a way with words, you know."

"I know!" Sarah laughed.

Just then, Marcus came up to lean over my des divider. "You ready to go?" He smiled.

I nodded my head and signaled to him that I'd be one minute. "Hey, Sarah. I've got to go. I'll talk to you later?"

"You better be coming this weekend, Nathan. I mean it."

I stood up and grabbed my cross-body black laptop bag. Something stirring in my mind that I had to ask before we hung up. "Um, Sarah?" I asked, following a good distance away from Marcus as he walked out of our office building.

"Yeah, babe?" She answered.

"Is..." I breathed. This was so silly. I was acting like I was back in high school, worried about bumping into my crush in the hallways. Funny how that crush was always Sarah and now I'm speaking to her about someone else. I rolled my eyes at myself and pushed open the last door leading us to outside. Marcus was leaning on a nearby tree on the sidewalk, biting into an apple.

"Is he going to be there?"

"I mean... he's invited but... no. He told me he couldn't make it." She said.

My shoulders slumped. I don't know if that made me happy or sad. If I'm being honest with myself, I'd say I was pretty disappointed. But honestly, should I want to see him? He left me. Again. After he explicitly told me he wasn't going to.

"Okay, yeah. Thanks. Ill let you know if I can or not as soon as I know."

"Okay!" She sang into the phone. "Love you, bye!"

"Love you, bye." I repeated back, hanging up the phone.

"The famous, Sarah, I'm guessing?" Marcus smiled, straightening up as I joined him on our walk.

We had a half an hour to spare on our break so we decided to grab a bite to eat at our favorite food truck Chip-ahoy before we had to head back. I knew he was going to grill me about my trip since I haven't been able to have lunch with him this week due to "being away sick".

"Yeah." I nodded.

"When you texted me you were really going to see her over the weekend, I thought you were crazy but I was pretty proud! I never knew you had such big balls." Marcus laughed, taking another bite of his apple.

I rolled my eyes. "It didn't exactly pan out how I had planned, so I wouldn't be judging the size of my balls just yet." I laughed.

"What? Did you not tell her how you felt? You've only been obsessing over this girl for... how long has it been?"

"Four years."

"Four fucking years, bro. You should be... I don't know - engaged or something at this point." He shrugged.

I coughed at that. Funny he should say that since I wasn't the only one on that mission this weekend.

"I know but... things changed. My feelings changed."

"You're being so cryptic right now, I can barely stand it. What happened?" He shook his head. We made it to the line for the truck. I loved this place. The workers actually dressed up as pirates, it was great!

"I'm into someone else and I didn't realize it until I was there. It was a wild weekend."

"You met another chick?" Marcus looked at me amazed, while we moved up spaces in line.

I gulped, burrowing my hands in my pockets. "Not exactly.... A guy."

His eyebrows almost shot off his head. "YOU'RE GAY?!" He pretty much yelled.

"Marcus! What the hell man?!" I punched him in the arm while I looked around to any onlookers. Except for the couple of girls that were directly in front of us, no one that I could tell looked over.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, rubbing his arm. "I just... I knew you were a pretty lowkey man. Never talked about anyone but Sarah so I just assumed you were really in love. Not gay."

I nodded my head and moved up. I guess I understood. "I didn't know I was either."

"James is going to be so upset you found another dude" Marcus laughed. I looked at him confused.

"Our boss? Why?"

"Are you blind? He's so into you. When you were gone he couldn't stop talking about how much he hoped you'd feel better. He's always touching you - you never assumed?"

My face went hot. I mean, I guess he was always finding ways to compliment me and touch me. But, I never thought he was into me.

Realistically, James is a pretty handsome man. With that rugged beard going for him and dark black hair and proper way he dresses. He's good looking.

But Caleb. With his black long, slicked back hair that hangs just right over his eyebrows. His chiseled sharp jaw that I just want to bite. The way he brushes his hair back with his tattooed fingers. Ugh, his tattoos all over his body.

I can't get over him. I don't think I ever have gotten over him. I've got it bad.

I shook my head. I almost forgot I was talking to Marcus.

He was next in line and ordered his tacos while I settled for the enchiladas.

I was thankful it was a sunny day in the park. We could find a nice picnic table underneath a tree, like we liked to do when the weather permitted.

"I'm not interested in James. Plus, he's our boss. Isn't that breaking some sort of rule book or something?"

"I don't know, probably." Marcus laughed. He pointed to a free table and we made our way with our takeout boxes. "I'd go for it if I was gay but that's just me." He shrugged, taking a seat.

"And you're sure you're not?" I laughed.

"Woah, now. Just because I'm 100% secure in my sexuality and can call a good looking guy like I see it - it doesn't mean I'm queer." He smiled, taking a bite out of one of his tacos.

"Fair enough." I nodded, breaking off a piece of my enchilada.

"So what are you going to do about this guy you met?" Marcus asked.

"We actually were best friends in high school. Ended poorly over Sarah. Funny story, we were actually chasing after her again in Toronto."

"No shit." Marcus's eyes went wide.

"Shit." I nodded, taking another bite.

"So you two were fighting after the same girl and wound up falling for each other?"

I thought it over. "Yeah, I guess that's how it ended up working out."

"Maybe you guys were subconsciously chasing after each other the whole time." Marcus shrugged before taking another bite.

I looked at him stunned. "So profound" I smiled.

"I can be smart." He nodded and grinned back at me. "So are you going to see him again?"

"What's with the 21 questions?" I quirked an eyebrow up at him.

"This is the most you've talked about your love life since... ever. I can't get anything personal out of you. I'm cashing in." He laughed.

I guess that's true. I like to keep to myself normally since there isn't a lot to tell. Although... Caleb always made me feel interesting. Maybe I was and didn't give people a chance.

"I hope to see him again, but I don't know. Things were left up in the air and now I feel sort of shaded." I looked down at my plate feeling sick all of a sudden.

"Maybe talking it out would help."

"Yeah, maybe." I muttered, taking a bite. "There's a party at Sarah's place this weekend. Want to come with me? I don't want to go alone."

"Party at your ex-obsessions house? Count me in! Maybe she has some hot friends I can obsess over for the night." Marcus winked.

"You're a pig." I shook my head laughing.

At least he's got someone to look forward to seeing. Mine is apparently AWOL.