Chapter 42

"No no no. It can't sound like that! I need the bass to be louder." He orders.

It is here that I am able to see Michael Jackson, the performer. Michael Jackson, the perfectionist.

With him, everything has to be a certain way. It has to be. If not, just know it will be redone until it's perfect, or at least until it's what he thinks is perfect.

Every step, every beat, and every single note is exquisitely planned and carried out in an elegant way. It makes the performance. It makes the music come to life.

Michael is nothing short of a musical genius. You cannot easily create a list of artists that can make music like he can. He's just one of a kind. That, at least, is unarguable.

It's incredible to watch him work this magic. The way the music takes him to another level is indescribable.

I watch the exclusive rehearsal intently, scared and hating to miss a moment, because each second is filled with enchantment. The only people in here for the dress rehearsal are Michael, his band and crew, me, and his head of security, Mr. Bill Whitfield.

"From the top, and remember. Dun-dun-dun! Loud!" He points at the bass player.

The band starts playing The Way You Make Me Feel, from the beginning.

Michael nods his head to the beat and rocks his hips like second nature.

"Na na na-aa... Yeah! Better, then Tatiana will come out right here." He informs the band as the music silences.

The gaps in the room that were once filled with melodious tunes are again empty.

And there goes that name again, that makes my heart drop slightly.

Tatiana.

The band and crew all are awarded a ten minute break. I leave my seat and walk up to the stage. Michael crouches in front of me toward the edge of the stage and gives me his hand, pulling me up onto the stage.

"You're insane," is my first comment as we come face to.. well, chin.

He's two different people. I love the way he gets when it comes to music.

"What do you mean?" He asks as I follow him backstage.

"I mean," I grab his shoulder, turning him around, and pull him towards me, "I love when you get all 'perfectionist'. It's adorable."

Michael smiles, a little shyly as he holds me by my waist. "Well, it's who I am."

I kiss his chin right before he kisses the space between my eyes.

"I'm really, really excited for you to see me perform Bella. You mean a lot to me. I want you to like it." He says.

I wrap my arms around his neck tightly. "I'm sure I'll love it baby."

I smile, a little half-heartedly because of the burden I'm carrying in my heart.

What did he and Tatiana have? If they were actually in love, then I wouldn't know what to do.

He could possibly still feel something for her. What if he's been in love with her all this time? I sigh, finding myself pointing out my own flaws.

How could I have been so naive? Look at me, then look at him, and then at her.

Of course. They belong together.

They both have curls, he's a singer, she's a model. They're meant to be.

Why am I even in the picture? I'm a distraction from who Michael should actually be loving.

"Bella, what did I say? Why are you crying?"

It is his soft voice that pulls me out of my melancholy thoughts and makes me aware of the tears welling in my eyes.

"It isn't you." I whisper, turning away to wipe my tears quickly, even though he has already seen a few drop from my face.

I've had trouble accepting myself my whole life, but it's never been this bad. They're tears of not only self-pity, but self-loathing.

How can I expect Michael to love me if I don't even love myself?

"Talk to me." Michael pleads softly, taking my chin gently and pulling it up so that my tear-filled eyes connect with his.

I open my mouth to say it's alright, to lie so he doesn't worry about me, but Bill calls to everyone's attention that the ten minute break has now wrapped up.

Michael cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, "I'm talking to my girl! Extend the break!"

I frown deeply and look at him. "That wasn't necessary Michael. I'm okay."

He grabs my hand and kisses it softly. "Please talk to me. Come on, you were all smiles earlier. What happened?"

"Where's Tatiana?" I suddenly blurt.

My eyes widen at my own remark. Why did I ask that?

"Her flight got delayed, and she's coming in this morning."

If Michael was taken aback by my sudden inquiry, he didn't show it.

But a moment later, something clicked in his mind.

He looks straight into my eyes. "Please don't tell me you're jealous, Bell."

I decide not to answer his question directly.

"I just want a simple answer. Why would you give her up for me? Michael, she's beautiful. She's picture perfect... and here you are, loving me. I just don't get it."

He stares at me for a long while before shaking his head and grinning.

"I don't really see what's funny," I mutter quietly.

Michael caresses my cheek with his large hand and smiles gently at me. "That's what's making me smile Bella. You just don't see."

He grabs my hand and pulls me into his dressing room and in front of the mirror.

"Look." He orders.

And I do.

"All I see is myself." I say.

"Exactly. That's what I fell in love with. You. Because you're who you are. That's what love is." Michael explains.

I look at him. "So you don't mind that I'm not a perfect supermodel with perfect curly hair and a perfect smile?"

"You're my beautiful woman. You're beautiful. Isn't that enough?" He whispers, leaning closer.

A knock on the door interrupts our almost-kiss.

"Michael, open up! It's me, Tati!"

I breathe in a slow breath.

Is that enough?

--

Chapter 42

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~Joy ✌🏼️