AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey pretties and handsomes. :) This is Layne. Layne was created by Miss Lalla. Layne sounds like rain and rain is pretty. But I doubt Layne is as pretty as the rain. As long as he's sane, I won't complain ;)

Ok, so ignore my awful rhyming and let's continue, shall we?

1. Who are you?

My name is Layne. Don’t ask for a last name, because there isn’t one. When Alice dies, I’ll get a new name. New look, too. Right now her subconscious has forced me into the being the skinny muse (again! I’m always the skinny one!) with blond hair (but I found a way around it! Pink hair dye, baby!) and for some reason she sees me as kinda…pale. Like a computer addict. Fine. I burn easy, though. Um…oh. Right. I’m a guy. I’ve always been a guy. Hey, if you have a few minutes, will you make sure my dye’s actually even? I don’t want her to find out I’m blond under here.

2. What's the title of your story and what kind of story is it?

“The Muse”. Lame title, huh? I mean, how obvious can you get? I know I’m a muse. I’ve been a muse since you people were cavemen. I’m pretty good at it, too. The ‘great, all-seeing god’ up there says this is a novel. I think it’s a novella. We’re at odds right now.

3. Are you in love? If so, with who?

Nope. One-night stands are fine. Long-term relationships? Forget about it. Too much work, and they always yell at me for looking at other women. It’s not my fault! When you waltz out in three inches of clothing, people are going to look!

4. Do you have any talents?

Um…let me get this straight. You are asking me if I have any ‘talents’? I AM A MUSE. I am the reason writers like you get to write at all! I worked with Shakespeare! I create best-selling plots and with a perfect combination of nagging and sweetness, I get them out there for people to read. What do you think?

5. Who is the closest to you?

Erm…Alice, I guess. I live in her head, after all. That’s pretty close. Oh, I should tell you about the time she told this boy…never mind. She’s giving me a scary look. Kind of like a rabid cow or something. She’s such a sweet person.

6. Describe your perfect moment.

The moment I realised that I could be heard when they weren’t writing. Oh, the possibilities just opened up! Now I can get them while they’re on dates, in the shower, otherwise occupied…and they can’t do a thing to me. You know, or they’ll get thrown into the crazy house.

7. What animal do you most relate to and why?

A cat. Cats rule the world. I rule over their little minds. Close enough.

8. Who is your creator/author? Do you like them and why/why not?

That would be Miss Lalla over there. She’s fine. Kinda quiet, boring…a bit like Alice, really. But hey, she makes Alice be nice to me, so I guess she’s cool. You know, for a human.

9. How would you describe your creator/author and why?

She’s just there. She throws me into horrible situations (Lalla, I did not appreciate you sending an axe murderer after me) and then brings me back to be awesome again. She’s kinda cruel, actually.

10. Favorite color(s):

Black, probably. The colour of angst and bad dreams and death. All great topics to write about.

11. Favorite Song or Genre:

Black Sabbath’s “The Wizard” probably. I can play it on harmonica!

12. Speaking of Genres, what type is your story?

Fantasy-ish. I mean, I’m not exactly human. I never was human. So that’s the only place you can put me, I guess.

13. What do you like doing in your free time?

I have nothing but free time. There’s no law that says I have to inspire Alice. If I want, I can just lay there and look through all the memories she doesn’t want me to see.

14. What's your favorite time of day and why?

Depends on what I want to do. If I want to write, three in the morning. If I want to sleep, four in the afternoon.

15. How do you feel about makeup?

It would look much nicer if they’d quit caking it on.

16. What's a memorable moment in your life?

Oh, that’s a long life to look over…eh, probably that one night I spent with Lenore-Poe’s muse. You’ve heard of him, right? I’m not gonna get graphic here, but…yeah. That was a good night.

17. Describe yourself in one word.

Perfect.

18. What's your goal in life?

To cause as many sleepless nights as I possibly can.

19. If you could tell your creator one thing, what would it be?

That axe murderer was unnecessary.

20. If you read halfway through your story and could end it your way, how would YOU do it?

I don’t know. Probably for Alice to go to that shrink a lot sooner. I like feeling well, not puking up bile all damn day.

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I LOVE the last sentence of #3! So true.

Layne definitely sounds like an arrogant butthead. A funny one, but still a butthead. He'd probably be my friend XD Check out The Muse by LallaSqueglia for more of this muse's crazy antics!