"You need to believe in things
that aren't true.
How else can they become?"

― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

2. Kitty Kat

The group was coming closer and Kat could see them more clearly. They wore strange, old fashioned clothes, reminding her of the cast of a fantasy movie, and all of them carried weapons – swords, mostly. She must have either been sent back in time or to a world much less advanced than her own.

The first pair passed by her, a bearded, elderly man in a blue hat and beside him a very tall swordsman – tall for a human, that was, for compared to a cat they were all giants. Next followed a short, stout fellow, who despite his lesser height looked dangerous with a huge axe strapped across his massive shoulders. Then came four even shorter guys, their faces were smooth and beardless so perhaps they were children. One of them led a sturdy pony. Behind the pony walked another swordsman, and last in line was a young-looking archer with unusually long hair, she was not certain whether it was a guy or a girl.

She regarded their retreating backs, unsure what to do next. Were those the people she was supposed to join, and was it one of them she would save the life of? What had Mr Pretty Voice said... something about following the Fellowship until it was time to go her own way? She wished she had a better memory for these things, and that Pretty Voice had not spoken in riddles.

Sighing mentally – because with her cat's mouth she apparently could not produce that sound – she began to walk after the group.

It felt odd at first to use four legs instead of two, and to walk barepaw for that matter, but her body instinctively knew how to proceed. Having a tail was another novelty. She could move it at will but a great deal of the time it seemed to live a life of its own.

When Kat had caught up with the company she got another unpleasant surprise. They were speaking in subdued voices, but the language was foreign and she could not understand a word of it. How on earth was she supposed to save one of them if she could not talk with him? Provided that they even were the right Fellowship, that was.

Suddenly annoyed with Mr Pretty Voice she felt her tail begin to wave back and forth and a low growl started somewhere deep within her body. How could he do this to her? Was he mocking her? Was this just some sort of cruel joke?

Why are you angry, Little One?

Kat stopped dead, looking around her. She had heard a voice in her head. A bloody voice in her head! This was not good. Not good at all! Suddenly all that had happened to her recently made sense in a most disturbing way.

She had lost her mind.

There was no mysterious heaven-like place, no heroic quest, no Fellowship and she was no cat. She was a dead teacher, or possibly a comatose one, and she was going crazy.

Are you alright?

The person in the rear of the group squatted in front of her, peering at her curiously. It was the one with the bow, and now she saw it was a young man, not a girl. Was it his voice she had heard? But it had come from her head for Christ's sake!

He reached out to stroke her back and she calmed down a little. Man, did it feel good to be petted! Without thinking, she buffed his hand with her head.

There's a good kitty. Kitty... I think I shall call you that.

She felt her tail begin to wave again. I hate that nickname! The words had formed in her head like a thought, but from his sudden grin she realized he had heard her.

Sorry. What would you have me call you then?

My name is Kat. Short for Katharina.

Alright, Kat it is. And I am Legolas. He gave her another pat and rose, increasing his gait to catch up with the others.

No, wait! She scurried after him, anxious to remain close to the only person who could understand her. How are you doing that? I hear your voice in my head. It's a bit scary actually.

I reach out with my mind. Us elves can communicate with most creatures that way.

Elves? She stared at him. Those were tiny guys with funny hats, were they not? And they also did not exist. This man wore no funny hat; his head was bare despite the winter chill and his long, blond hair was partly braided back from his temples. His ears actually looked a bit elvish with their pointed tips but he was certainly not tiny. He was tall and looked very fit, but no wonder, just by drawing that large bow he probably worked off the calories of a medium sized pizza.

Oh pizza... suddenly she realized how hungry she was. Would these people feed her? She got a mental image of herself eating Whiskas from a bowl and her stomach sank. Would she have to feed on mice and cat food now?

One of the children said something and the elf replied. This time he spoke with his mouth, words in the same strange language she had heard from the others, but his voice sounded exactly like the one she had heard in her head; mellow and pleasant.

When do we eat? she asked him.

Tomorrow evening. He chuckled. You are just like the hobbits.

What are hobbits?

They are. He indicated the children, and at a closer look Kat saw they were in fact adults. Did they suffer from some sort of medical condition? The word dwarf came unbidden to her thoughts, but that was outdated. Short persons was a better term. But why had the elf spoken of them as if they were a species?

Elves, humans, hobbits... Was this some weird fantasy world she had come to? She hated that genre, being much more of a murder mystery person if she read or watched movies at all. Why could she not have been assigned to help Miss Marple? Or Sherlock Holmes?

But what was she gibbering about? Mr Pretty Voice had spoken of this world like of a real place, and to remain sane she had to act as if it were, smothering all thoughts of the alternatives. She was not dead and not in a coma or a drug-induced dream, this was an adventure and she was going to save someone and become a hero again, so there!

To keep her thoughts off dangerous ground, Kat began to pay attention to her surroundings. They had left the forest now and were walking through a fairly open landscape, covered in dry heather and naked brambles, with the odd lonely pine. Somewhere in the distance was a mountain range, high enough for its peaks to be covered in snow, and from there blew a chilly wind. Thanks to her thick fur Kat hardly noticed the cold, but the others were shivering despite their cloaks and hoods.

It was late, the overcast sky was almost pitch dark but yet nobody seemed inclined to stop. Was this a secret mission? Perhaps they were burglars.

But wait, how stupid was she to walk this far without asking the elf if they were the Fellowship?

Hey. Elf!

My name is Legolas. I told you. He looked mildly annoyed.

Sorry. Back at you for calling me Kitty. Anyway, are you guys the Fellowship?

He raised his eyebrows in surprise first, but then he lowered them suspiciously. Who are you? And where did you hear about the Fellowship?

Ah, so he knew about it, at least. Then she was not too far off. I was sent to join you by Mister... She broke off. She had been about to say 'Pretty Voice', but obviously that was not his name. He had never introduced himself, she realized.

You were sent by who? The elf was frowning deeper now; with such blond hair he had surprisingly dark eyebrows. Then he said something to the others which made them all stop and gather around her.

Uh-oh. This was not good.

I don't know who he is, she said earnestly. He did not give me his name but... um. He was tall and had a nice voice.

The sturdy fellow had released his axe from his back and loomed over her, growling a series of foreign words. Kat felt the fur rise all over her body.

You scare me! she tried to say, but it came out as a hiss.

The elf said something sharply, making a motion with his hand, and the axe guy reluctantly backed a step.

He asked if you are Saruman's spy.

I'm not a spy! I'm one of the good guys. I'm a human, actually, and I nearly died and then I was sent here to help, but you're threatening me and now I'm starting to regret my choice. I just want to go home, you know, to my flat and my phone and pizza and...

Calm down, Little One. Calm down. She felt a hand stroking her back and realized she had squeezed her eyes shut and was huddling close to the ground. I see no evil in your heart.

You can see my heart? Her inner voice sounded whiny.

Nay but I feel your good intentions... It is hard to explain. Do not worry, I shall set the Company at ease.

The elf talked to them at length and a short, heated discussion broke out between him and a few of the others before they appeared placated enough to continue their interrupted walk.

Going by the dark looks he sent her, the burly one seemed particularly displeased about Kat's presence and his hand never left the axe handle.

Axe Guy hates me, she thought conversationally.

The elf laughed. He had a pleasant laugh, but then everything about his voice was pleasant actually. Not like Mr Pretty Voice of course, nobody could beat him, but the elf came a good second.

That is a good name for him. Axe Guy. I shall remember it.

You don't like him either?

Not at all. He is a dwarf. He shrugged like that explained everything.

Is he alright with you calling him dwarf? Did Legolas not know that was a belittling term? Pun not intended.

Why would he not be? It is his kind.

Oh, you mean he's like Snowwhite's seven dwarves?

Like whose dwarves? He scratched his head.

Never mind.

After a while the cloudy sky got a little brighter in the east. The night was almost over but the journey continued after only a short toilet break. As males in company tend to do, they lined up in a row to pee, not in the least embarrassed by her presence. But why would they be? She was a cat in their eyes.

Kat prefered to go a little to the side where her new body seemed to know exactly how to proceed. Her paws swiftly dug a small hole over which she crouched, and afterwards she scratched the dirt back, covering it up well.

I am not a cat, she said to Legolas when they continued walking.

Aye, you said before. You think you are a human. He gave her a compassionate smile.

I am a human. I was shot and given a choice to be reborn and save someone.

So you say.

You don't believe me. She wanted to scowl at him, but her whipping tail was actually fairly expressional as well.

I believe you believe it, Little One.

You think I am crazy.

His silence was answer enough, and she growled in frustration. Then she tried to form a picture of herself – her real self – and send it to him, but from his blank expression she knew it had not worked. She could only share words, not images.

If you had said you were a Maia, then maybe I might believe it possible. Or even a very old and wise elf. But for a human to shapeshift? Nay...

Maya? You mean a Native American?

A what?

They looked at each other in confusion. Then the elf patiently explained that the Maiar were ancient and powerful magical beings, older than the world itself. Some of them were able to shapeshift, including the most infamous of them; Mairon, or Sauron as he was called these days. In olden times, Sauron had been known to change into a werewolf and at one occasion a vampire, but the worst was when he posed as an elf, alluring other elves to trust him. The Fellowship's quest was to undo the evil result of that trickery, namely the forging of the One Ring – a seemingly plain gold ring but with a dark power strong enough to utterly ruin the world if Sauron got it back. Presently one of the hobbits carried it – the taller of the four – and his ultimate mission was to throw it back into the fires of Mount Doom where it was created.

Kat pondered over what her own role was in all this. Mr Pretty Voice had said she must save the one who climbs into the king's vessel at night – something like that at least, but more archaically put. Would that be before or after the Ring was destroyed? She was also supposed to walk her own path at one point, but how would she know when it was time to leave? And how would she manage it alone, a small, helpless cat as she was?

Her stomach felt heavy. Talking about heroic deeds and quests and missions with Mr Pretty Voice in that beautiful place with the scent of fresh baked bread in your nostrils was one thing, but walking through a bleak landscape with strange people knowing it was real and she might actually get hurt and die was quite another.

She was no hero, only a fairly dull and average middle school teacher who liked murder mysteries and languages. Saving the children of her class had been an instinctive action, she had been too shocked to really understand what she was doing.

Demurely she kept going, full of second thoughts and not a little homesick.

A/N:

Who is Kat supposed to save? Hit me with your guesses!

Also, thanks a lot for all the votes and comments! You guys are the best!

Image Credits:

Public domain.