"The female mind is certainly a
devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise.
"Well, of course it is.
It has to deal with the male one."

― Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals

15. It Is a Gift

For some reason it was very hard to measure time in Lothlórien, and Kat could not say how long it took until Legolas returned to the Mirror. When finally he did, he peeked out from behind the hedge almost shyly.

Are you decent? he thought.

Kat checked her reflection. Galadriel's cloak had become a sort of nest, which she would try to worm her way back into whenever she had been away to eat or use a flowerbed as a bathroom.

Probably not, by your standards. My shoulders and arms are bare.

He cautiously came closer, avoiding to look into the bowl, where the water had become littered with dead insects and cat hair.

Boromir said you asked after me. He seemed to be talking to the air above Kat's head.

Yes. Why would he not look at her reflection? It pained her more now that he stood only at a meter's distance. At least, when he had been absent, she could tell herself it was because he wanted to spend time with his elven relatives.

My apologies for not coming sooner. I was taking walks with Gimli.

Am I that scary? The thought slipped out before she could stop it.

His gaze landed on her reflection for a millisecond before darting away again. Nay.

Then why are you acting like I've got the plague?

He sighed and stiffly edged a step closer. It is not your fault. I just... I... He faltered, and appeared to be thinking for a moment. I do not feel comfortable to see... Well. But it is not only that. I also... Hm. It is hard to describe, but I guess it just feels strange. With you as a... person, I mean. Of course, mentally I knew you were a woman, but... there is knowing, and there is knowing, if you get me? I had imagined you differently, and it was shocking to... see the real you. And now it feels almost as if we were strangers. But none of this is your fault, like I said, and I should have come sooner. Sorry.

I see. At another time, Kat might have found it amusing to hear Legolas search for words awkwardly like a school kid during a presentation in class. Not now, however. He had made a mental image of her, and she did not fit it, that much was clear.

And darn, it hurt.

Legolas sat down cross legged in the grass. Shall I tell you what Gimli and I saw during our wanderings in Lothlórien?

No thank you.

A silence followed. Not uncomfortable, as such, just a bit morose.

This situation reminded Kat of an experience she had several years ago, when Pappa was terminally ill with the cancer that later took his life, and Mamma was beginning to show the first signs of dementia. They worried so much Kat would be lonely after they were gone, so for their sake she had decided to get a boyfriend.

She had actively dated for over a year, both at the pub and using a dating app, meeting several men – but no matter how great they seemed in their profiles, she had not connected with them somehow. And those she met at the pub were mostly scumbags only interested in one thing, which they would not get that easily. It had been tiresome, and stressful, and disheartening – and meanwhile, her parents' health gradually worsened.

Kat had been ready to abandon the plan and tell her parents the truth – that she actually did not mind staying single, only having herself to please – when one of her colleagues hooked her up with a relative, whom she claimed was 'the perfect guy for you'.

Joel, as his name was, actually did seem promising. He was around her own age, had similar interests and faith, lived in the same city as she, and even knew roughly the same people. It was almost strange they had never met.

They texted each other at first, but soon moved on to phone calls. He turned out to be just as great as he had seemed. She liked his voice, and he was fun and sweet to talk with. Neither of them knew what the other looked like, but since they got along so well it did not seem important to exchange pictures. In addition, Kat found it romantic in a way to disregard physical appearance, and first grow to love what was on the inside of a guy.

Then at last came D-day, when they would meet for the first time. D-day, as in Date Day – or Disappointment Day, as it were.

Kat had not had any expectations when it came to Joel's looks, and really did not care. He turned out to be blond, tall and gangly, fairly ordinary. It was not important; she was prepared to like him no matter what.

But for his part... Well, it was clear the outside did matter to him. He had acted like Legolas just now – startled at first, and then uncomfortable.

Perhaps she should have told Joel she was adopted. Or was it something else? Was she too short, or too chubby? Not pretty enough? She had never asked.

Somehow Kat's looks and her inner self must be mis-matched. Those she dated before Joel had all turned out to be the kind of guy who wanted a short-term, sexual relationship; guys she had nothing in common with. And when she finally found a man whose personality she liked, he was not attracted to her. It was so unfair.

She was still friends with Joel – or had been until she was shot. After the initial awkwardness on their first date, he firmly pushed her into the friend zone, and when that was established all was good again. He even accompanied her to visit Pappa at the hospital, and had been there for her in the stressful time after he passed away, helping her organize all the practical things with the funeral and selling the house. She appreciated Joel's friendship, but it hurt too. It had taken a long time until she got over the loss of him as a potential partner.

But actually, this whole situation with Legolas now was worse. He had already friend zoned her before, right? All that talk of not being the marrying kind.

Why could he not even bring himself to look at her? He had been staying away for several days, as if she was some sort of monster.

Kat was beginning to get annoyed now, which was a lot better than feeling pain.

You. Get over here.

Hm? Legolas sounded surprised at her tone, but obeyed.

Look at me, she ordered. When he still hesitated, she added angrily: I don't bite!

Finally he turned his gaze to the water and regarded her in silence.

Why would he not say anything? She hated this. Well? Was that so hard?

You should cover your shoulders.

For Christ's sake, Legolas! What's wrong with you?

He stiffened. Perhaps I was just brought up differently, he thought coolly. For me, it is disrespectful to... gawk at a half-clad lady. Maybe for you, it is completely natural to expose your nudity to the whole company. Perhaps the ladies in your world love to show their... breasts and butts. He made a wry face. But here we save that for our future spouses.

Kat got the reference; she had pressed him to tell which body part he preferred earlier in their journey. How immature she had been! But that was before the wargs and Moria, when she was still in shock after being shot and sent to Middle-earth in a cat's body. Not everyone reacted well to that sort of thing.

The annoyance slowly left her and was replaced with remorse. She should not have forced him to look when he clearly did not want to.

The nudity was an accident. How was I to know the Mirror would show the real me? Of course we wear clothes in my world. Sorry for making you watch against your will.

Part of the tension left him and he looked at her reflection again. Just let me... He arranged the cloak closer around her cat body, until only her head was visible. There. Better. Galadriel's cloak suits woman-you.

You don't despise my looks then? she asked in a small voice, knowing how shallow and superficial she must seem, but this time she just had to know.

His eyes met hers in the Mirror and he seemed genuinely surprised. Of course not. Did you think so?

Well... What was I supposed to think?

He got a thoughtful expression. Aye...  I realize how my behavior could be interpreted that way, but you can rest assured I am in no way appalled by your looks. Actually, I...

He did not finish the sentence, and suddenly Kat needed to know what he had omitted.

You...? she prompted.

I am glad the misunderstanding is cleared up.

She frowned – or at least her reflection did. She was certain that was not what he had intended to say. Darn elf. But it was relieving to know he found nothing wrong with her appearance. Legolas was probably the most honest person she knew; he would not say something unless it was true.

Are you sure you do not want me to describe Lórien? He smoothly changed the subject.

Alright then. It's kind of cute with your fangirling over trees.

Fangirling?

Never mind. Go ahead. I know you're itching to start.

He sat on the dias beside the bowl and began a long tale about Lothlórien, with its history and all the interesting sights he had explored with Gimli. Amazingly, it seemed those two were on a good way of becoming fast friends. Considering how prejudiced Legolas and the other elves seemed to be about dwarves, this must be a very unusual friendship.

You can make even trees sound interesting. I almost want to go there now.

He smiled at her reflection. It is not far. We can take a walk together and I will show you.

She sighed. I don't want to leave myself until I have to. Pathetic, I know. She leaned closer to the water, until her cat nose almost touched her human one. I miss me.

It is not pathetic, he thought, his eyes filling with sympathy. I cannot even imagine what it must be like for you... Removed from your own world, your family, and friends, becoming trapped inside an animal. Of course you miss your real body.

Kat's throat constricted. Thank you for understanding.

Sorry for adding to your burdens with my... untimely notions of decorum.

Sorry for forcing you to look at my scandalous shoulders. She tried to smile.

He looked away, his cheeks turning an interesting shade of red. Bare shoulders are not that scandalous, but they reminded me of... Well. Can we just forget what happened and talk no more of it?

Okay.

Let me tell you about the glade I found yesterday. It was full of baby mellyrn.

Kat listened, and soon his calm voice made her drowsy. Ever since she came here, she had fallen asleep early each night, and slept long in the mornings. Like the best kind of summer vacation. (And she was a teacher, so she knew all about long, lazy summer vacations)

In the middle of Legolas' recount of the height and girth of the mother mallorn, she drifted off to sleep.

ʕ( u _ u )

When Kat woke up late the next morning to another beautiful, sunny spring day, Legolas was gone. She bit down her disappointment. Of course he would be; watching a sleeping cat-woman was probably no fun at all. Maybe he had a talan to sleep in somewhere, or had gone to a supper party with his elf friends. Or maybe there was a certain tree waiting for him.

At the thought, she got disturbing images of Legolas in a compromising situation with a tree. Okay, that was gross.

Kat had just finished her morning wash when he returned, looking very pleased with himself for some reason.

Did you find another sapling? Or perhaps an extra tall mallorn?

Nay. He grinned. I actually do have other interests than trees.

Really? I'd never have guessed.

I am fond of animals too. Such as cats. His smile widened. I want to give you something.

Me? I hope it's chocolate. I really miss that.

It is something I hope will make it easier for you to leave the Mirror, and explore Lothlórien with Gimli and I. He opened his hand and held out a flat oval of wood, hanging from a leather thong like a name tag on a dog collar. I made it of mallorn wood – a fallen branch, of course, no tree was hurt.

It's beautiful. But what's it for?

I would like to carve your likeness in it, if I may.

You want to make a portrait of... me? Mirror-me?

Aye. He looked very pleased at her reaction. That way, you can carry your reflection with you wherever you go.

That's... Thank you. Yes. I would love that. She was too full of emotion to say more. Wearing her picture would be wonderful, even if it obviously was not the same as a magic mirror. She was certain it would comfort her and help her remember who she was. And knowing that Legolas would take the trouble to do something like that for her made Kat go all warm and squishy within.

Legolas sat down on the dias and began to sketch with a sharpened piece of charcoal. When Kat tried to get a glimpse, he covered the oval with his hand, smirking. Curiosity killed the cat.

Nobody had ever drawn Kat before, and she found it strangely intimate to be observed so closely. Legolas' eyes moved back and forth from her face to the small piece of wood as he worked. She struggled to hold the pose and not drop her gaze, and kept forgetting to breathe.

Relax. I don't bite. He grinned.

Darn elf. Stealing her lines like that.

After a while, he exchanged the charcoal for a knife to do the actual carving. By now Kat really felt like the curiosity would kill her. She was dying to see the result.

Close your eyes.

She obeyed, feeling an expectant flutter. His fingers touched her neck as he put the pendant on her. There, you can look now.

Opening her eyes, she bent her neck to peer down at the portrait. He had fastened it upside-down so it would be turned right for her, and again she forgot to breathe when a miniature woman-Kat looked back at her.

It was amazing. Her face and hair were carved in exquisite detail, and colored in shades of charcoal. With only a few lines he had captured the essence of her, and the likeness was astonishing.

Oh, Legolas! You're an incredibly talented artist. It's like a black and white photograph.

I am glad you like it.

Like it? I love it! Thank you so, so much! She wanted to say more but again her words got caught in her throat. It was such a thoughtful gift, and such a kind gesture. She wished she could have given him a long and hard hug.

My pleasure. He met her gaze in the Mirror. Ai... Do not cry.

Sorry. It's just... This is the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a very long time.

It was no trouble at all; I enjoyed doing it. He broke eye-contact, but not before Kat noticed his eyes were a little misty too. Now, come, let us go explore the woods!

Kat nodded happily and jumped down from the dias. Without a second glance at Galadriel's Mirror, she followed Legolas out of the garden.

A/N:

After drawing her portrait, Legolas is sure to have memorized Kat's real appearance and will never forget she's a woman. But how will that affect his behavior? Are the future cuddles at risk? Vote below. :D

1. Yes, no more cuddles for Kat. :(

2. No! Legolas will not be able to resist. :)

As always, your comments warm my heart. Thank you dears!

Image Credits:
Public Domain