A/n: nsfw warning lol. Actual lemon is next chapter but this is the set up for it. Gotta build that RELATIONSHIP. And provide for the fans that read L x readers by innocent authors who cut it off right before the good shit.

And so you sat back on the swings next to the orphanage. LABB wrapped up, back in England and awaiting details from the bio-terrorist investigation currently happening. It felt good to be back in England. You were only gone for a week but the boys were exited to see you and L again. And of course, they got the presents from LA you promised them.

Matt got a new game, Near got some collectable toys and you got Mello a leather jacket that practically screamed his name when you saw it. He wouldn't take it off now.

That was it. LABB marked the first case you and L had to travel to. You knew there'd be many more to come, you hoped the boys wouldn't get lonely and as they got older could fend for themselves. You kind of had a mother instinct for those three.

"Hey"

Turning, you saw L behind you, reaching out to push you on the swing.

"That's it? No more LABB emails?" You said.

"Yep, case officially closed. I still have many questions but I'm afraid I can't find answers" he replied.

"Yeah, I want answers too but I know it won't happen that easily. Maybe in like 30 years we'll be working on a case and something will add up"

He went from pushing you on the swings to stopping you, feeling his arms wrap around you from behind and his head rest in your shoulder with a sigh.

"What's wrong?" You asked.

"I just don't know what to feel anymore..."

You broke from his grip to face him, then let him embrace you again.

"I know sweetheart, I know. This case was... close to home"

"It won't leave me alone the questions and the guilt keep... haunting me" he mumbled.

You put both your hands on his cheeks, making him face you. You looked up at him with a warm smile.

"Sweetheart, none of this is your fault" you said.

"I can't help but feel like it is though"

"Should I do something to keep your mind off it?"

"Like what?"

You thought for a moment. When he was all gloomy like this it wasn't just because of the guilt, it was a driving factor but with L when one negative thought comes into play, all the others follow. He's never had good self esteem, never really watched out for himself and his own well-being. He was probably just thinking a million negative things right now. He needed praise, and lots of it.

Praise...

"Why don't... why don't I give you a dopamine kick?" You suggested.

"How exactly do you plan to do that?" He questioned.

"Lawliet, darling. You need to listen to some praise for once in your life. Feel it, believe it. And I mean... there's always one way to achieve that, intimate time together" you suggested.

Praise? Intimate time?

His cheeks flushed red upon the realisation of what you were suggesting. Partly because you'd only ever done it once so far and it was more of an experiment to get the feel of it, see what each other likes and such. But this time you have the goal of making him feel praised, good about himself, loved.

He could already picture what you'd say to him, what you'd do to him. And in all honesty... he wouldn't mind it at all. He knew full well it'd work.

Something about the idea of having you kiss every inch of his body and call him pretty was very appealing.

"Ok..."

There was a small problem though. It was still pretty early in the night, the orphanage was wide awake still. Bit risky to be fooling around in there. Luckily, you knew how to drive unlike L, and there was a lovers lane a little while away.

"Come on, I know a spot. When I'm done with you all the negative thoughts will have left your body" you smiled, placing a kiss on his forehead and taking his hand.

You walked him over to the car parked down the side gate of the orphanage, already buzzing with excitement as you got on and drove off. This was the kind of stuff you'd meant when you'd gush about living a wild and free life with L as a teenager. Not only travelling, solving cases and spending the rest of your lives together. But doing risky things too, just for the thrill of it.

L seemed a bit nervous, thought it wasn't the first time you'd done it, this time you had a motive that wasn't 'try it out and take each others virginity'. He knew how stubborn you were when it came to him. If he made one even slightly dark remark about himself you were on that shit so fucking fast with a kiss and a 'no you're perfect'. On top of that, he'd never been to a lovers lane before. He's driven past it before but never actually stopped at it.

The town was relatively quite safe so he wasn't scared of a horror movie situation happening when the couple are getting freaky in a car and end up getting killed by some mysterious killer. Plus, he was a detective that knew capoeira, he could defend himself if he had to. That and the windows were tinted.

His nerves were more from the risk factor of being in public even though well hidden, and the shyness of being exposed before you. He never did have the best self esteem, last time it happened it was in the dark so your vision was a bit obscured. This time the car light would be on meaning you'd see everything. That what nerved him. When it came to detective work, defending you, fighting, brining people to justice, he was confident in his actions. When it came to the way he looked? Not so much.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the car engine turning off as you'd parked off the dirt trail well hidden by trees. The last bits of sunlight from the sunset shone through the windows illuminating the car as well at the light above your heads. You unbuckled your seatbelt and reached down to pull at the lever on L's chair in the passenger side to slide it back. Now having foot room, you climbed over to his side, sitting in his lap and taking his seatbelt off.

"Why so nervous? It's not the first time" you giggled.

He stayed silent, looking away slightly.

"Look we don't have to if-"

"No it's just... the lights on" he said.

"And?"

"And... I'm not as amazing looking as I am in the intelligence department..."

He knew it was coming, it always happened when he talked himself down but it still caught him off guard. You grabbed his head by the cheeks and turned him to face you.

"L Lawliet what have I told you about self deprecating words?" You said.

He just have you a worried look in response. You sighed.

"Sweetheart... look I know you're not doing the best right now, but you've gotta stop all the shit talk on yourself. You're literally the worlds greatest detective, you have so much to be proud of. Not many people can pull off the look you have, but you do. Somehow you take tired and make it look like the most attractive thing in the world"

One hand caressed his cheek, the other reaches down for the leaver to push the back of the seat back. His hand rested atop yours on his cheek, a weak smile painting his lips.

"You're going to listen to everything I have to say right now. And you're going to believe it. You haven't done anything wrong, you're the most gorgeous person on earth, you're the reason I got this far in life..."

You grabbed the lever, pulling it and the seat fell back taking the both of you with it, catching him off guard as you now had him pinned under you.

"Let me lead this time. You need this, just forget about everything else ok? We can take turns with this. This time, I'm doing the work, ok?" You finished.

"Ok..."

With the go to words of consent, you pulled him into a kiss, fully intending on spending hours out here doing nothing but touch every inch of him and hammer home just how amazing he really his. Maybe if he heard it from the one he loved, in such a venerable, intimate situation, he'd actually believe it.