"Not everyone in your life, stays."

(Two days ago)

NAKATULALA ako matapos kong basahin ang letter ni Papa at ni Aries mula sa envelope na ibinigay ni Ludwig na galing daw kay Aries.

Yes, penmanship iyon ni Papa at hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko ngayon. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ba akong magalit o matuwa o ano ba ang dapat?

Imagine that your whole life is a lie.

Una, tatay ko pala si Mr. Figueroa when all I thought, patay na ang mga magulang ko.

Second, the meeting with Aries, iyong pagkawala ng ruby stone kung saan nagsimula ang lahat, ang pagta-trabaho ko kay Aries... lahat kung paano pumasok sa buhay ko ang isang Aries Chastin Palermo, planado lang.

And last, iyong supposed to be wedding of Aries. Na akala ko ikakasal talaga siya kay Katarina. All the things he told me, it gave me pain. It disappoints me. Winasak niyon ang puso ko tapos malalaman ko na lahat ay staged? Lahat ay naka-plano. The bottom part is, nagpanggap lang siya kay Katarina na gusto niya itong pakasalan.

I checked the USB flashdrive at hindi ko inakalang solid evidence nga iyon. Sa pagpa-plano nang pagpatay kay Papa, sa paghahanap nila ng big vault ni Papa, kung paano nila makukuha lahat ng kayamanan ni Papa. Fuck them, nakakagalit na mapanood ang lahat. Pati ang pag-uutos sa lalaking pumatay kay Papa ay recorded ng CCTV. Evidences that are enough to put them in jail. Each everyone of them.

But the worst part is... nakakasalamuha ko lang pala ang mga hayop na pumatay kay Papa.

Si Aries, I think he knows everything. Tulad ng sabi ni Papa sa letter, he knows him even before. At imposible namang malaman agad agad ni Aries ang suspect? Alam ba niya ang nangyayari sa pamilya ko?

I need to fucking talk to him. Right now.

Nagmaneho ako ng sasakyan ko. I called Ludwig and asked him to tell Aries to meet me at the Hashtag Bar. That will be the safest place when it comes to talking kesa sa mga bahay namin or where ever.

Ang daming tumatakbo sa isip ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala e. Para bang ayaw mag-sink-in nang lahat. I was ready to move on. I let him go. I accepted the fact that he doesn't love me the way I love him that's why he is marrying another woman but everything is... staged. Fucker!

Maraming tanong ang sunod sunod na pumapasok sa isip ko. Hindi ko na alam paano kong itatanong ang lahat ng iyon kay Aries. Pero gusto kong malaman lahat lahat. Mas mahalaga sa akin ang katotohanan at justice for Papa. Saka na iyong sarili kong feelings. That can wait.

Dumating ako sa Hashtag Bar. I parked my car. Bumaba ako saka kumunot ang noo ko nang salubungin ako ni Ludwig.

"Magkakabalikan na ba kayo ni bro?"

"Shut up. Puro ka tsismis, Ludwig."

"Pota, naging tsismoso pa nga. VIP room 3. Ando'n na si bro."

Nilampasan ko na siya. I walked towards the VIP room's door and opened it. I saw him... I missed him, fucker! Galit ako sa gago na 'to.

I locked the door and sat on the couch. He is looking at me. He looks tired.

"You read the letter, did you?" Tanong niya.

Ano pa bang magiging dahilan kung bakit gusto kong makausap siya.

Huminga ako nang malalim. Alam kong mahaba habang pag-uusap 'to. I want to clarify things, I want to know every single thing.

"Hmm, you have a lot of questions. Am I right? As much as I wanted to fucking hug and kiss you right now, I want to answer everything first." He said seriously.

I cleared my throat and looked at his eyes. Let's start from the very beggining.

"Since when did you know me?" I asked.

"Since your debut. I am one of your 18 roses." Diretsuhang sagot niya. "Don't worry I will answer your questions honestly."

Kumabog ang dibdib ko. "I admit, I can't remember you being one of my 18 roses."

"Yeah, because you had a boyfriend that time. That was understandable that you won't look at other guys. You're maybe so in love with him."

Naaalala kong may boyfriend nga ako noong debut ko pero puppy love palang iyon. I was eighteen. At dahil nga eighteen roses iyon, matatandaan ko ba silang lahat? I only had my eyes on my boyfriend that time.

"Then... by that time you knew Mr. Figueroa as my father or as an uncle?"

He stared at me. "Father."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "You knew."

He nodded at me. "Because after the party, I asked him where's your father. He asked me why. I told him I wanted to marry you in the future."

Iyong puso ko...

"So with that, he decided to tell me the truth that he is your father and made me understand the situation. That was a love at first sight, Cassidy. Your fucking smile, your pretty face, your voice, oh damn it! I could still clearly remember how I made you laugh while dancing with you. I was mesmerized with your laugh, your smiling lips, your eyes, fuck."

Napalunok ako. I can't really remember. Mabait lang talaga ako noon.

"Tell me everything what happened in my debut." I said.

Naiinis ako sa puso ko na panay kabog. Galit pa ako sa kanya at lalong hindi ko pa makakalimutan ang masasakit na salitang sinabi niya sa akin noong nakaraan.

"Alright, I talked to your supposed to be uncle but your real father. I asked him if I could marry you. He just laughed at me. Naaalala kong ginulo pa niya ang buhok ko telling me I was a playboy and a kid. He asked me if I am true to my words. I said yes. He asked me if I wanted to court you right away and I said no because you were not single and besides, I want you to be mine soon. Hindi sa oras na iyon because I was a student. Wala akong maipagmamalaki kundi ang surname ko. I am a Palermo, Cassidy."

Lalong kumakabog ang puso ko sa sinasabi niya.

"He told me, I can marry you. May basbas ako ng tatay mo, tangina." He blushed. "But then, after the debut, I studied well, gumanda ang grades ko. I was ready to ask you out while I was a college student but you still have a boyfriend. So I stopped. Until I graduated college, manage some of my family's business. I was busy with business. Nilaan ko ang oras ko sa business, Cassidy. I admit I had girls, yeah flings. Not in a serious relationship, though."

I took a deep breath. I am still listening to him. Hindi lang ako makapaniwala na may ganitong pangyayari na hindi ako aware. All this time, he knows me.

"You know what, I also had a crush with my brother's woman. I even tried to snatched her from him. I was devastated that time. I was in the state of wanting to be a successful businessman dahil gusto kong may may maipagmamalaki akong achievement ko as Aries and not as a Palermo. I know my family is famous when it comes to business but I want to carry my fucking name with my skills and ability to succeed with business."

"So you had a crush."

He nodded at me. "Maleha Roxas. I like her as a friend maybe, and besides my brother was an asshole that time when she gets pregnant that's why I stood up to take care of her. I was just being a good uncle to my nephew, I guess?"

Best boy naman pala.

"But everything is settled between the two of them. I realized that my brother is my rival not with his woman but with business. I fucking understand that he's older with me but he got most of the recognition. I was an asshole for competing with him, damn it."

"And what?" I asked.

"Natauhan ako." He said. "I don't need any recognition except from your father. So I worked hard and I had a business with him, the investment with FF Jewelry. We talked a lot about business. Nagkasundo kami pagdating sa bagay na iyon. Imagine talking with him again after how many years after asking him the permission to marey you in the future."

"And then?"

"That's where he suggested to run FF Jewelry so I could see you regularly. Well, I told him that after all these years, I still wanted to marry you but I refused. I honestly wanted you to fall in love with me. Ayokong dalhin ka sa sitwasyon na wala kang sariling desisyon. He even asked if I want an arranged marriage but I also said no. That would be unfair to you."

"Kaya naisipan mong gumawa ng kwento para magtrabaho ako sa 'yo, under mo?"

Tumango siya. "Well yes, I won't deny that." He stared at my eyes. "I want you to get to know me, to fall in love with me naturally, I want you to love me the way I love you, Cassidy."

Punyeta ang puso ko, parang sasabog.

"May nangyari sa atin but you told me you will only fuck me behind because I wasn't your girlfriend." Sabi ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit naisip ko pa iyon pero gusto ko kasi talagang maging malinaw ang lahat. "I felt sk dirty that time. Pakiramdam ko talaga binastos mo ako."

Itinaas niya ang dalawang kamay niya bilang pag-surrender. "I admit, it was my fault. I... actually wanted to fuck you behind dahil alam kong kapag kaharap kita, hindi ko mapipigilan ang sarili kong isigaw kung gaano kita kamahal. Posible pala 'yon? Just by knowing your daily routines, just by seeing you from afar, just by looking at your smiling face, just by your mere existence, I fell harder. That's why when I had a chance to be with you, putangina pakiramdam ko mababaliw ako sa saya. I just can't believe I could touch you, I could kiss you, I am fucking crazy madly in love with you, Cassidy."

Hindi naman ako nananaginip 'di ba? Hindi din naman siguro ako nabibingi? Parang hindi lang ako makapaniwala sa sinasabi niya ngayon.

"Let's change the topic." Sabi ko. Sasabog na ang puso ko sa nalalaman ko. "So alam mo ang sitwasyon ni Papa? Alam mong nasa panganib ang buhay niya?"

"We almost talk every day, Cassidy. He wanted me to know everything just in case na may mangyari sa kaniya. He asked me to protect you. That's when I strted to investigate."

Kumunot ang noo ko. Buhay pa si Papa at maayos pa ang lahat nang makilala niya si Katarina.

"You mean, nalaman mo agad na pamilya ni Katarina ang matinding kaaway ni Papa? Na ang pamilya niya ang gustong magpapatay sa kaniya?"

He hissed. "I am not a Palermo for nothing, Cassidy.  Yes, I fucking know. That's why I started to invest with their company. That's when I met their daughter, Katarina and I used her as my excuse so I could get evidences. Hindi pwedeng basta lang silang paratangan. Solid evidence ang kailangan to gave them a warrant of arrest. I tried harder to pursue Katarina. I made them believe that I was inlove with her but fuck her, kahit tuldok, wala. My heart is only for you Cassidy."

"Ituloy mo 'yong kwento. Itigil mo 'yang pagsisingit ng feelings mo." Nakakairita dahil hindi ko na kaya 'yong matinding pagtibok ng puso ko para sa gago na 'to.

He chuckles. "I needed to hurt you to make her believe that I was madly inlove with her. Minsan nga lang, hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko. Tangina araw araw kitmg gustong halikan, Cassidy."

I felt my cheeks blushing. Hayop na Aries! Kailangan ba talagang isingit niya ang kalandian niya?!

"I made it. I made her believe that I am sincere to her. Until your father died.  I was devastated. Nasa kamay ko na ang suspects pero wala akong nagawa. They killed your father. Fuck them." I saw anger in his eyes. "That's when I decided to asked her to marry me because I was eager to put them in jail. Everyone of them. I needed to do that so I could get a solid evidences. I stayed at their house for that. Not because I want to be with her but because I want to fucking get an evidence. But baby, I swear, walang nangyari sa amin. Alright?"

Huminga ako ng malalim.

"I also realized I am being tapped when I started staying with her at her house. She also installed a tracker on my phone. Damn her. Gusto kong patunayan na wala akong intensyong masama kaya hinayaan ko lang. I let her think I had no idea about it. That's why when we were at the bar, fuck baby, lahat ng sinabi ko, that's all a lie. Tangina kung pwede ko lang bawiin agad lahat ng sinabi ko, I can't because I was being monitored. Mas lalo akong nabaliw kakahanap ng solid evidence so I could ge back at you and explain everything. Hindi ko kayang makita kang nasasaktan. Tangina, just by seeing your tears that night. Putangina."

All of them are lies. So meaning, wala talagang namagitan sa kanila ni Katarina? Wala siyang nararamdamam para sa kaniya? All the things he told me, nasabi niya lang dahil siguradong nakikinig si Katarina sa amin because he is being tapped?

"I got everything I needed, baby. That's why I chose to write a letter pra iparating sa 'yo ang tungkol sa nangyayari. Kumuha pa ako ng tyempo para makawala. I had a spare phone at my car and texted Ludwig to go to Katarina's house and tried flirting with her."

Muling kumunot ang noo ko.

"That was my reason to take off the ring that we have as an engaged couple that was being tapped. I also threw my phone at the wall para mabasag. I acted mad and furious and went out of the house. Iniwan ko ang envelope sa sasakyan ni Ludwig and just sent him a text about it. And now I am here, I am free because I am playing a hard to get fiance to her."

"You mean..."

"Yes, Cassidy. Please coordinate with your father's lawyer so they can asked the police to issue a warrant of arrest to her whole family. Your father needs justice and I won't just sit down. He is my... inspiration when it comes to business. He is the first person who recognized my achievements by my skills and knowledge and not because I am a Palermo. He also trusted me. And... he is your father, Cassidy. The father of the woman I love the most."

Halos manghina ako sa confession niya. Ni katiting na tyansa, hindi ko naisip na maaaring ganito ang sitwasyon.

Mahal ako ni Aries. Mag isa siyang gumawa ng paraan para makuha ang justice para sa pagkamatay ni Papa. He sacrificed a lot.

My hands are shaking. I don't know what to say anymore. I don't know what should I do...

The burden of thinking that Aries is marrying another woman and the burden of doing the best I can to seek justice for my father.

Lahat iyon ay parang bulang nawala.

I just stared at him. That's all I could do right now.