I liked this general idea even though it has an unrealistic plot for dealing with these issues. Plus this is an absolute mess on my part. There's a lot less thought behind this and I think it shows. So let me just say now I'm Sorry. SOMEONE PLEASE LEAVE A REQUEST MY IDEAS ARE AWFUL!

Your POV

"Hey.... Hey... Y/n look at me.... Look at me okay. Focus on me, look at my eyes. Breathe in for four hold for seven exhale for eight. Shhhh it's okay, you'll be okay."

I looked up at him trying to steady my breathing as my eyes darted around and my heart pounded. I quickly wiped all the tears and snot from my face before trying to inhale. I clenched my eyes shut because everything was still spinning.

I breathed in before letting out another sob. Coving my hands with my face, I began to breathe through my mouth again. Choking on my saliva.

"No y/n, here's another tissue," He handed he a tissue "Blow, then breathe through your nose."

He slowly coaxed me out of my panic attack. Simply he just let it happen but knew how to handle it. It was amazing. For the first time ever I wasn't being judged for this ridiculous thing I was stuck with.

By the time I could see correctly again and breathe without choking he sat down in front of me looking at me.

I inhaled feeling the after fact exhaustion taking over. "I'm sorry Mako-I MEAN thank you!" I say correcting myself.

"There we go, you need to stop apologizing. I help you because I want to." He leans in and brushes my hair away from my eyes.
I exhaled through my nose again.

"T-thanks again, Makoto"

He handed me a water bottle and smiled softly. "Tell me that you're alright?"

"I'm alright." I smiled back before just giving into my exhaustion leaning back to the wall. He chuckled pulling, trying to pull me to my feet.

"Good" He shot me one of his lopsided smiles. I chuckled back ignoring the stares of the students around us....
________

That was the one time of many that Makoto had helped me deal with the panic attacks. He also had recently started trying to stop my habits and break my 'irrational' fears.

Like the ocean, amusement parks, airplanes and public speaking. Personally these are all rational things so hate. But not to Makoto. He wants me to be fear ridden and it drives me nuts.

I pick the skin around my nails and apparently I clean too much. So he's been keeping me out of my house. My mom and siblings don't mind much though. They say there glad that I have someone to trust.

Frankly I didn't get much choice in the matter. He set his mind on helping me after I broke down that day. The first time I was ever helped. My family just left me alone during panic attacks because they have no idea what to do.

Me and Makoto we're currently walking on the sidewalk near the beach. With me trying to stay in the middle of the side walk. I hate the ocean and I hate streets with cars.

You can drown or get attacked or hurt in the ocean. Who knows what happens there's no mercy in nature. But it's the same with humans because you could get hit by a car because a human stopped paying attention. Just think about all the dead animals on the road. Hell, some cruel people kill those animals on purpose.
Who knows if they'd stop for me.

"So do you want to go walk down on the shoreline?" Makoto asked. I don't understand, I know he isn't particularly fond of the ocean either but he's making me do this.

"Not really." I replied.

"We're going anyway." He grabbed my hand and I felt that usual little shock that I get. He dragged me off the side walk towards the rushing waves.

The sun was out warming everything, the scenery was practically picture perfect. Something you'd see on an asthetic blogger page. I hated it, it made me uneasy.

But I could feel the sand beneath my feet and the wind whipping around me. Makoto stopped once we got to the shoreline. I backed up as far as I could. But he clung to my hands. I felt myself shake a little.

"Okay y/n. Take off your shoes." I slowly complied. I knew what we we're doing. He's done this with me before. I took a deep breath inhaling the salty air.

"Why do you hate the ocean?" He asked. The water behind him lighting up his silhouette. He looked directly into my eyes.

"Because it's big, not a lot is for sure about it. The creatures inside could kill me. There's no easy way out of drowning so I could easily be pulled in and drown. So if I just stay away to be safe."

"So you're scared of what you don't know? You're biggest fear is uncertainty?"

"Apparently, you know what's going on better than me" I remarked.

"Come on I'm just trying to help."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry"

"Hmm." He smiled at me.

Rubbing the top of my hands with his thumbs he slowly starts to back up into the water.

I gripped his hands feeling the anxiety take over. I knew I was fine, I knew there was a slim chance anything would hurt me. But I was scared anyway. My breath went ragged and my stomach churned.

I felt the water touch my feet and I immediately freaked. It felt disgusting. Like I could feel all the sand and moss in the water. It made me want to throw up. So that's exactly what I did. Freeing myself from Makoto's grasp I ran to the nearest garbage can emptying my stomach. As my breakfast rose through my throat burning my insides, Makoto ran over and rubbed my back.

Once my stomach was empty and the burning slowly settled in my throat hot tears Singed the corners of my eyes. "Damn" I muttered under my breath.

"Hey it's okay. We'll try again!"

"I don't want too. It just distracts you. You should be training for the swimming season. This is just bothersome to you."

"Y/n I want to help-" "Don't! I'm fine having this so called problem."

Makoto just looked at me sadly. Then pulled me in for a hug. "NO! I DON'T NEED HELP MAKOTO! Seriously stop!"

I was raging. I didn't need this, I was a perfectly functioning. So what if I hated possible dangers. These fears won't hold me back from what I want. I'm fine. But I did kind of feel like I was betraying Makoto.

"You...you...... Makoto am I a chore or something? Because all you've ever done sense we've become friends is try and 'make me better' not willing to listen to me. I know you want to help, but why?"

He looked at me stunned and I bit my thumb nail waiting for a reply I knew I probably wouldn't like.

"I...... I helped you the first to because I was empathetic. Then the more I learned, the more I wanted to help and.... I guess it became pity. BUT I really care about you y/n! I'd never joke about that with someone! Especially you!"

I ripped my thumb nail and shook my head. "Sure Makoto. You wanted to feel good about yourself by helping the fucked up girl! RIGHT? Actually! Don't answer! I need some time. I'll see you later. Go catch up on your training. Haru and Gou will be happy you're back."

I began to walk away trying to ignore the pounding of my chest and his cries to get me to listen. I don't fucking care if I'm bruh immature or unreasonable. I'm pissed. I won't bottle this. I hate pity.

This is ridiculous. I walked in the center of the side walk making my way back to my house where I knew I was safe.

__________

So it's been like four days since my encounter with Makoto and since it's summer vacation I haven't left my house. I've been up in my room, writing and trying to perfect the outlines to my novel. I had no regrets to the situation.

Then that's when the inevitable happened. I felt a knock on my bedroom door and when I opened it. There he was, his usual adorable self. He had a T-shirt with an unbuttoned flannel on and his glasses. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. I crossed my arms and looked at him.

Sighing I invited him in. He sat on my bed and I sat in my desk chair. "So why are you here?" I asked Makoto as kindly as I could given the situation.

"I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I still really want to help you. But I should have tried to earn your trust before diving into your personal life."

"Damn right" He sighed.

"But, I should've said something sooner. I knew you we're trying to help. But you overwhelmed me, out of no where. I was quiet so I wouldn't drive you away. But we see how that worked." I slouched back in my chair.

"Want to start over? Let go to your favorite place to eat. My treat of course."

I sighed thinking about it.

"Sure, but next time you pick and I'll pay." He laughed. "Whatever you say y/n. Whatever you say.."

A/n As I said... Ew