Let's burn
To my passion, burn
To my hopes, burn
My life, burn

CARTER

I smile on the drive home. She glanced at me now and then, so fucking confuse that I almost laugh.

Fuck, I will kiss that confusion out of her one day. The girl does my fucking head in. I didn't want to stop one bit. I wanted to keep going till she cums but I have to be patient. I'm desperate to hear my name on her lips and I know that she knows it's what I beg for the most, she's very careful to say it now.

I hate it.

I hate her calling me by my last name instead of my own. Carter on her tongue is just damn euphoric. It makes my cock go hard and my balls tighten badly. The cold shower every day for the past two weeks is a pain in the ass now. I fucking hate cold water. It barely calms my dick down and it's painful to have the icy water sprayed on it.

My phone rings and she looks at it. I glance at her, put the AirPod in my ear and take the call.
"You won't really get away with it."
Luca. I roll my eyes "Top of the morning to you too, sunshine." He scoffs "You're an idiot if you think your father would believe you married that girl." I roll my eyes again "Well, my father did believe it. Who's the idiot now?" Luca chuckles "So why was I never invited to the wedding?" My hands tighten on the wheel and her eyes go wide at it as I say with as much coolness as I could "We were saving the money. You know, for a luxurious honeymoon."

Then he changed the subject "You know what I'm doing right now, Carter?" My jaw clenched "If you tell me that you have your hand inside your boxers, that is just disgusting." He snorts again " I am watching a repeat video of you and Lilly in the car." I halt the car to stop instantly. Lilly is worried but I keep talking "What do you mean?"

"Oh, you know, the sexy stuff that you guys did almost five-point-three minutes ago."

I insanely search the cat for cameras. How did the fuck did he do that? Fuck! I find nothing at all. Then I get this gut feeling that we shouldn't be here. I put my finger on my lip at Lilly, silently indicating that she stays quiet. She presses her lips together and I keep talking casually "And did you enjoy it?" He clicks his tongue "No, I did not. There were too many clothes." I gently open the car door and get out "Porn not up to your taste?" He chuckles "Exactly." I walk around to her side and open her door, pulling her out. She goes with it, whatever I do, she goes with it. Luca says "Oh, would you look that, the car is empty." I gulp and calm my breathing down "Going for ice cream, you want one?"

He chuckles "Childish, Carter. It sometimes amazes me that you know how to count with all that childish behavior you possess."

"Oh yeah? You want me to count to ten to prove it to you?"

Then his voice is low "How about I count to three?" Then he starts counting "Three, Two, One," I grab Lilly and I'm pulling her from the car as fast as I could, diving into the concrete she hisses. But I hide her under my body when everything blows up. My car blows up, the pieces of metal rolling in the air and dropping out with loud thuds that make Lilly scream. And it wasn't only my car that blew up, no. It was also the cars that were behind mine. Three cars blew up right in front of us and it produced a massive fire. As my phone was already in the car, it got disconnected. I threw the AirPod out of my ear and looked down at her trembling figure against my chest, curled like a baby to me.

She cried and my heart feels fucking hollowed. She has a bad concrete burn on her elbows and her jeans were a little torn at the knees. Her index finger had a broken nail from the side that caused a little bit of blood to pool. I pull her to my chest and kiss her forehead. She wraps her arms around my waist tightly and cries in the crook of my neck.

I only waited so far because I wanted to play the game of the cat and the mouse with Luca. Now, he will fucking burn.

♡

We get back home.

I carry her to our bedroom and gently place her on the mattress. She was still sniffling. Her eyes, nose, and lips were red with crying. Her cheeks were pink. Her blue eyes sparkle. I loved when she cried but I loved it only when I made her cry. Not anyone else.

I walk to get the antiseptic from the bathroom and I come back. Her knees are against her chest as she cries with her head on them. I sit beside her with my back resting on the headboard and hold her elbow, tugging gently. She pulls back and sniffs, looking the other way. I sigh and get on my knees, scooping her in my arms and sit back down with her on my lap. She silently lets me clean and put cream on the burns as she sniffs.

Once I'm done, I put the cream down and kiss her temple. She looks at me and holds my arm "I can't do this." She looked like she was crying again when tears started spilling down to her shirt "I can't do this, Carter." My chest feels even heavier when she says my name like that.
She gets on her knees and practically straddles my legs "Is that how you live? Every single day? On the run. In danger. Is this what mafia life is?" I put my hands on her shoulder and make her sit down and pull her closer.

God— I loved it when was on top of me.

I hold her face and pull her close to peck her lips. She lets me but she asks again "Tell me." My voice is soft because she is terrified. "I wish I could lie to you, baby, but I can't." She glances at the ceiling, trying so damn hard to push back the tears but I tilt her head down so she sees me again. I don't want her to stop crying. I don't want her to hold it in. In some fucked up way, I want her to cry in front of me. I want her to me trust when she's vulnerable. I want her to come to me for protection and comfort.

I want her to make me hers.

She sniffs as she searches my eyes for something. Always searching for something that I don't know. Emotions? A fucking heart? I don't think I have a heart.

I swallow "You know, I never wanted to be in the mafia." That one sentence from me gets her full attention. It's like she wants to know me. The real fucked up me. I almost smile at her when she asks "Then why are you here?" I rest the back of my head back on the headboard and sigh "Fate wanted me to be a Romano."
My hands go down to the hem of her shirt as I roll it around my finger but she's curious "You can still turn your life around. Get out of here. It's not too late." The corner of my lips perks up at her innocence. I want to say more, I want her to know more.

I want her to know my fears and I want her to know what makes me happy. But I'm afraid of her. I'm afraid that if I let her become the reason that makes me happy, I will die.

I take a deep breath and snake my hand on the nape of her neck, pulling her down and gently placing my lips on hers. She lets me kiss her and it takes everything inside me to hold back a moan. I feel her scrunch my sweater at my chest into her fist and I smile at her lips and open my eyes. Hers were closed and she moved her lips with mine. Slowly and sensually.
I caress the seam of her lips with my tongue and she gasps, parting her lips. I enter my tongue in her mouth and she makes a sound in the back of her throat that is vibration to my tongue and I deeper the kiss even more. My hands trail down her back and land on her waist. I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer so that she's almost laying on me.

We part for a second to fill the air in our lungs and she opens her eyes to look at me. Her blue eyes were the most dreamiest thing ever about her. I whisper "Come here," and pull her head to my chest, wrapping my arms around her again and rubbing my palm up and down her back. She quiets for a second, and her back is stiff, but then she sighs and adjusts herself on me. Burying her face in the crook of my neck so that her lips are pressed on my skin. I feel her relax and wrap her arms around my waist, holding me tightly that it makes me smile.
I kiss the top of her head and rest my cheek on her hair.

Just five minutes.
Just five minutes of silence and peace is all I need with her.
Just five minutes.

♡

I leave her to sleep for awhile while I fix dinner downstairs. I got a new phone and new AirPods an hour ago.

I cut the carrots into slices as I spoke to Elijah "Find him." Elijah sighs "His last location was an hour away from the mall. He's moving towards his warehouse." I nod even though he can't see me "Good. Keep tracking him. I want updates every hour."

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Luca hurt my Lilly twice now. I'm gonna do this."

♡

I made her chicken with rice and I left it on the island and then I left.

It was almost the middle of the night as Elijah and I sneaked into Giovanni's mansion. Getting past the security guards wasn't that hard when you had known the place since you were seven.

Luca isn't here and I wasn't here for him. I was here for his heart. He tried to wound mine and I will fuck up his.

I got into Giovanni's room and he was sleeping too damn peacefully. Elijah helps me grab his arms and Giovanni is up, screaming but we gag him with a balled up napkin in his mouth. His eyes are wide and Elijah ties him to the railing of his bed. Tie up his arms and legs.
I nod at Elijah and he walks out of the room while I sit on the chair in front of him. Furious at his son.

I sigh and pull out the gag. He screamed again and again for his guards so I cackle "You're just being annoying, Giovanni. I bought you, men. They weren't that hard to buy, you know? Showed them that they can have a secure job with more money and then they just came to my side without question."

He huffs in anger "My son will kill you, Carter." I roll my eyes "Your son? Please, we all know he isn't yours. You found him outside the church. Touching story but no one cares." Giovanni shakes his hands, trying to fight against the restraints "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I take my lighter and flick it so the flame would ignite "What do you mean?" Then I take out the cigarette and light it between my lips, taking in a long drag.
Giovanni shakes his head "We were ruling, Carter. You had to go and kill Russo. You broke us up for that pathetic bitch." I look at him and say calmly "Be careful how you speak about my Lilly, Giovanni." He scoffs "Your Lilly?" Then rolls his eyes "You're pathetic. I remember how she used to be scared that you would turn out like your father one day when in reality, you're not even close to him. You're weak, pathetic, and terrified. Just like her."

I smile in anger, flicking the lighter to ignite the flame and letting it burn out the next moment. I kept at it for a while as I thought hard. Giovanni watches me, aware of my every move. I take out the cigarette and blow out the smoke. Then I put the cigarette out on the sole of his foot. He throws his head back with a scream and I smile at his pain. Pain pleases me but Lilly keeps me in a state of euphoria all damn day.

Giovanni screamed, "Fuck you!" I chuckle at that and stare at his state. In boxer shorts and a red silk robe. Eyes angry. I stand up and make my way to his side and grab his hair on the top of his head, tilting his head back. He lets me. He has no choice. The bastard is tied up. I lean down to say closer to his face "I remember what you were doing six years ago, Giovanni. You were high on your drugs that day. You injected her with some of it so she would relax and become easier to fuck. I watched you pound inside her laughing out loud." I scream at him as anger rises in my veins "You kept laughing, and laughing, and laughing. While she cried and cried and cried," I pull on his hair so he would feel pain "she begged and begged and begged for mercy. For herself. For me. She begged everyone to push me out or cover my ears and eyes. But you all let me watch. Your drugs were in my veins too that night. I stayed limp on the floor while you had your eyes on me, tongue out like a dog, and you pounded inside her screaming how good she felt wile she screamed at everyone to stop."

Giovanni smiles "I always wanted to fuck her. I got my chance when your dad invited all thirteen of us to fuck her in that cell." He chuckles and I let his hair go "She felt so good on my cock that I still can feel myself pound inside her." She thrusts his hips and laughs loudly.

(ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕘)

I came here to beat up Giovanni so that his son would back out. Plans change. I tilt my head and smile because it felt good to imagine this scenario that I created in this second that I had to act upon it.

I take out my flask and twist the cap, take a sip and I pour it all over him. His laughter stops as he demands "What are you doing?" I laughed as I watched him struggle, getting wet with my whiskey. The way he screamed, Elijah pushes open the door. I looked at him and he had his eyes wide "Carter, what are you doing?" I take the last drop of whiskey on my tongue and ignited the flame of my lighter again "Dieci in meno. (Ten down)"

I let the lighter drop right on Giovanni's cock and it catches fire that Giovanni screams. Elijah gasps real hard that he coughs loudly and gags when Giovanni's whole body catches fire and he's nothing but a struggling bright orange flame. I smile at him, so damn proud of my work "Che tu possa bruciare all'inferno. (May you burn in hell)."

I was going crazy with happiness because this was the moment when I did not care how dark my mind was. I did not fucking care.

I enjoyed it.

I grab the bottle of whiskey from his nightstand and twist the cap open, taking in a big gulp and pouring it down all over the carpet, the curtains— every piece of furniture, and silently watch by the door how everything catches on fire beautifully. Elijah shakes his head with his jaw clenched as he watches the body burn. But there are no more screams anymore which means he is dead. I scoff "I'm going back to my Lilly." And I walk down, dripping the whiskey on a trail as I walk down the stairs and out of the mansion. I know Elijah will out in seconds but I needed to get back to my Lilly. She must be up hungry and scared.

My Lilly.

♡

LILLY

I see the food he kept for me on the island but I don't eat it. I don't think I can. It's just been a rough day and knowing that you almost lost your life many times now, doesn't make it any better.

I sit on the high stool with a glass of water, in a change of clothes. A pink sweater and black pajamas that had red kiss stains on them.
My hair was wet as I got out of the shower hardly 20 minutes ago.

The door opens and there he was. In a black hoodie and black jeans. The hood on his head is pulled too forward that it hides his face.
He closes the door and as he's about to walk without paying me attention, he stops. Stays like that for a second and then turns to look at me, making his way to the island.
He puts his hands on the marble and asks "You didn't eat anything." I chew on my bottom lip and then answer "I wasn't hungry." I notice how he couldn't keep his balance.
He sighs and I watch his shoulders visibly relax as he makes his way around to me, pulling his hood down. His hair is pushed back but messy. He looks like he aged 10 years and his eyes are too drunk.

He was drunk.

He slides his arm around my stomach and then the other one around my waist, pulling me to his chest and then resting his chin on my head. He sighs again and I feel him releasing his weight on me, using me as support for some time. I stay still for him. I let him do it.
He says "I'm gonna take a shower. Then we can have dinner together, okay?" I don't nod. He assumes I did and pecks the top of my head.

I watch his figure go up the stairs. That's it.

I wait five minutes, then ten, then fifteen. When it's been 30 minutes, I walk up the stairs.
Could still hear the shower running and just to make sure he was okay, I call out "Romano?"
No answer at all. I say it again, "Romano, you okay?"

No answer.

The door to the bathroom was ajar so I walked in uninvited. I could see his figure inside the clear foggy glass. His back to me as his hands were on the wall. Water ran down his back and he heaved almost violently.

His skin was red and there were marks as if he scratched himself many times. His fists balled up and he presses his forehead to the wall. I watch when his hand reaches down to the knob and he turns the shower to hot. The glass fogged up even more that I couldn't see him at all.
I slide the door open with worry and he was red all over. My eyes go wide and as I touched his shoulder my hand burned so bad that I pulled back, yelling "Romano, you need to come out!" He stays like that as if he couldn't hear my voice.

I reach my hand to the knob to turn off the water but he grabs my wrists in a bad grip that hurt. I cry, trying to pull back, the water burning my hand badly. And with my other hand, I close it. The sound of the shower was gone but he stayed the same way, heaving, too inside his head. I swallow and bite my lip, turning on the water but I made sure the temperature was perfect. Not too hot, and not too cold.

I take steps inside, closer to him "Romano?" He doesn't budge but he lets go of my wrist. I rub the pain away for a few seconds. He turns around and leans against the wall, the water coming down his body, drops trailing down the ridges of his muscles and abs as if trailing the shapes of him, and going down his thighs.

He pushes his fingers inside his hair, pushing his hair back as he keeps staring at me. Head leaning back on the marble wall. Then he holds out a hand. An invitation of some sort. I don't hold his hand instantly, I wait that he might reject or refuse but he's patiently waiting. Hand still held out. His ring was nowhere on his hand and mine was on the nightstand.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

(ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕠𝕟𝕘)

I'm hesitant at first but I press my fingers in his wide palm and then flatten my hand on his. He gently curls his fingers around me and pulls me closer that I'm standing under the water with him. My clothes get wet and I almost squeak because the water was cold for me but nothing fazes him at all. He utters a single sentence in Italian "Sei una dipendenza. (You are an addiction)." Then he flips us around, pinning me to the wall and he presses himself on me.
He presses our foreheads together and closes his eyes, his bottom lip quivers as he says "I don't think I can control it anymore." He holds me by my hips and sighs "I'm too deep into this, Lilly." My brows furrow for a second, trying to decipher what he meant but my brain turned foggy when he takes my hands and places them on his cheeks, his breath heavy, "I need you to touch me, Lilly."
He lets my hands go once he's sure I'll keep them there and I do. The back of his fingers strokes my right cheek lovingly and he says again "Lilly, I need to be touched by you." Leans his lips to my ear "I need to be kissed by you." Then he groans "Fuck," he almost moans "just one taste, okay? Just a little bit of taste of you, Lilly. Just a little bit, I promise." He pulls back to look at me with pleading eyes and I can't think.

Without meaning to, I swipe my thumb across his cheek and he moans, putting both his hands on the wall beside my head as if using that as support so he won't fall too deep.
He looks back up and then crashed his lips on mine. I whimper but then I ease into it. Feeling drunk with his mouth on me. My back arch when he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer and lifts me off the floor so that my feet are dangling. I tilt my head and the kiss deepens and he moans in my mouth.

His tongue pushes into my mouth and I'm breathless but I don't want to stop. No matter how much I regret it all the time, I never want to stop kissing him.

He puts me down again, his lips pressed to mine as he grabs the hem of my wet sweater, pulling it up and off me. I wasn't even wearing a bra and my nipples harden instantly.
He kisses me again but this time rough. Not letting me breathe was a second. His hands grab the waistbands of my pajamas and he pulls them down till they're pooling around my ankles. He lifts me again, the pajamas separating from my ankles and he kicks them away, setting me down again.

His hands roamed all over my body. Squeezed my breasts and my ass. His fingers bury in my hair and he pulls my head back, kissing down my neck to my collarbone. Then my chest and takes one peaked nipple in his mouth, sucking violently that the pain mixed with the pleasure was like fireworks in my stomach. I cry out again and he slowly goes down, kneeling, and kisses down my stomach. He kisses my pelvis and trails the kisses to the side of my hip.

I hiss when I suddenly feel this sharp pain in my hip and I look down. He smiles because he bit it hard and then gently kissed it to make it feel better. He pushes my hand into his wet hair and aligns his face with my core.
Hoisting my leg to settle on his shoulder, he kisses between my legs gently all the while his eyes are on me.
Then he licks, his tongue pressing inside the lips of my core and gently teasing the clit. I push both my hands in his hair, tangling his hair in my fingers. He licks down the slit and then back to the clit, kissing it and then licking down till he finds an opening. He gently pushes in his tongue and my hips tense and shakes because of it. My mouth is open but there is no sound because I can't bring myself to moan. It's too overwhelming that it felt so damn good.

God— so damn good.

I threw my head back with a moan as he starts sucking on my clit as if he knew my body more than me. I moan and then let out a whimper when I feel sensitive "Carter, I'm— oh, yeah— I'm— Carter!" My feet curl and I was afraid that I might slip. He grunts and pulls me down to sit on the marble slab coming out of the wall, spacious enough for a person to sit.
But he pulls me to the edge and pushes my legs apart, attacking my core with his mouth again.

He lets go and looks up with a smile, his hand trailing up my torso and squeezing my breasts "Do you have any idea how much pleasure it brings me to know that I am the only one that has ever tasted you?" He leaves a peck inside my thigh that my hips jerk but his smile goes brighter "Fuck me— Lilly, you have no idea how happy that makes me know that I'm the only one who makes you cum. It makes me crazy and excited."

His middle finger circles my clit and I barely balance the weight of my legs on my toes. He smiles and slides his fingers down and then circles around the opening. He keeps kissing the side of my knee and I groan when he pushes his finger inside. This was the first time I felt anything like it. He hisses "Fuck— you can take it, baby. You can take my fingers and then you can take me." He keeps pushing his finger in till it's in till the base, then he curves it. I moan and lean down to press my head on his brow, needing this support badly.

His lips stretched into a smile and then it's pressed into a straight line, something dark in his eyes as he asks "You think you can take two fingers like a good girl?" I shake my head and he catches my lips, standing up and pulling me to stand up with him.

He wraps his arms around me as he presses me to the wall. I felt something push between my legs, not in but between, and I clench my thighs around it. I look down as he chuckles when my eyes are at his hard length between my thighs. He kisses my brow, then the tip of my nose, then my chin "You and I... we're gonna have some fun." He gently pulls out and then thrusts back in, groaning my name and I clench my thighs even tighter, squeezing his length. His hand is against the wall beside my head while the other is around my waist.

He shivers in my ear with a whisper "Good girl. Make me cum." Then he starts thrusting. Ever time he thrusts, I felt it against my clit— the little sparks of friction that were too much for my sensitive nerve.
He speaks in my ear "You know what I'm so damn desperate to see, Lilly?" He thrust his hips harder "I want to see you lose control over me." He pulls out and pushes back again "I want to see you grab me by my hair and make me place my lips on that gorgeous sensitive clit." He chuckles with a moan, the vein on the side of his neck bulging that it looks like vines of trees, "I want you to make me use my tongue anywhere you want."

I bare my neck to him as I moan, letting the water come down my face and almost drowning me in pleasure. He says for the last time. A whisper that makes me moan his name loudly "I want you to make me yours in every way possible."

"Carter," and I orgasm hard. Upon hearing his name, he cums between my legs and I feel this heat, then the stickiness dripping down my inner thigh. His breath is heavy and he rests his head on my shoulder, kisses my collarbone, and whispers as if he's drained from his orgasm "Make me yours."

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

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Love, Hope
♥️♥️