LILLY

Carter took over the mafia a week ago. And it has been a very suffocating week for us. He doesn't talk much and he does not eat. He comes home after I sleep, holds me in bed, and then leaves before I wake up. He's so damn stealthy that I don't notice when he comes and goes.

Carter was getting scarier to me day by day. The pressure of the mafia work was getting to him. His face said it all. He looked like he got older by ten years instantly. Got a new haircut, and I can't help but see his father's reflection in his eyes now.
The suits, the hair, the way he talked and walked, the way he dealt, the way he was too deep into all of this- a spitting image of Rafael Romano. He doesn't wear his chain or bracelet anymore. Just his thorn ring on his ring finger, the same as mine.

I get drowsy as I wait for him on the stairs. I had to do this. I had to wake up just to see him and touch him properly at least once. I was going crazy without him. I wanted him to talk to me. I wanted him to tell me what was going on inside his head but he shut me out completely.

It's always two steps forward and three steps back with him.

The corner where we lived in the mansion didn't feel private anymore because of the new security cameras and the new thick door with a passcode lock. There were cameras every there except our bedroom and the bathroom. He got them installed the next day he sat in his father's seat. They say everything changed. I tried to talk him out of it many times but the stubborn man doesn't listen. He doesn't even calm me down when I stress about worrying all day long.

He hardly holds me or kisses me anymore.

I almost drift and then I hear the chime of the passcode being accepted. He walks in. It was dark everywhere except for the dim kitchen light above the island.
He stops, takes a deep breath, and sighs as he takes his jacket off, "Why are you up?" I knew I was perfectly hidden in the shadows but somehow he still knows.

He neatly drapes his jacket over the back of the couch and rolls his sleeves up, "I asked you a question, Lilly." The tone in his voice makes my heart speed fast. I swallow and ask, "H-how did you know?" He doesn't smirk, he doesn't smile, he doesn't even look at me as he says, "Why are you up?"

"I-I was waiting for y-you."

"Did you eat?"

"No."

I don't miss the tick of his jaw and I don't miss how his fists form tightly. He bites, "Why not?" There's this pointless anger inside him these days. He's angry about the littlest thing.
No, he doesn't lash out. Or use physical force. Or scream or yell. Nothing like that. Just that tone- his voice gets lower and his tone gets sharper.

I shrug, "I wanted to eat with you." He unbuttons the top three buttons of his shirt and says, "You know you shouldn't do this. You should've eaten and then been in bed. I should come home to you sleeping, not waiting for me for no reason."

"No reason? It's been a week since we've talked, Carter. It's been a week since we've touched."

"We touch whenever I get in bed."

"I'm sleeping at that time. And I don't even know when you get in bed or when you walk out."

"You don't have to."

I slowly stand up, "So I have no right to know where my fiancé is? I don't have the right to know when he's coming home or leaving home. I don't have the right?"

"Don't twist my words, Lilly." He huffs and walked up the stairs past me without glancing at me and without saying another word to me. I follow him up to our bedroom. He takes his shirt off and throws it on the bed and then takes his shoes off, then comes off his socks. He says, "Get in bed. You should sleep." Whatever he said got on my nerves badly, "What if I don't want to?" His back is facing me and I don't miss the way the muscles tense and then calm down, "Then lay beside me while I do."

"What if I don't want that either, Romano?"

His back tenses again and he slowly turns around to face me, jaw clenched, clearly too much anger under that skin, "What did I tell you about calling me by that name?" I scoff, "That is your name. I bet everyone calls you that now since you're the new mafia leader. Since you took over the mafia. Why can't I call you Romano too?"

I know I was stupid by getting on his nerves but I couldn't help it. I was hurt. I was being suffocated. I feel lonely all damn day. Like a prisoner.

He steps a warning step, "You know I don't like it when you call me that." I smile, "I'll keep that in mind, Romano."
One minute I'm standing at the threshold of the door, and the next, he grabs me by my shoulders and pins me on the wall. His knee pressed between my legs, and his hands pressed on the wall behind me. Trapped by him. He looks down and leans closer, "Talk to me." It wasn't a request. My heart warms up for him for some reason. I know he was tired.

His short hair looked good on him but I missed his long hair. I missed the sparkle in his eyes every time he looked or smiled at me. I missed his smiles. I missed him.

He has been losing a lot of weight but at the same time, he was gaining muscles. His abs were tighter, his chest broader, and his perfect constructed v-line below his stomach getting deeper. His arms looked, even more, stronger and he got even tanner. His face was sharp with features. His cheekbones are sharper as well as his jawline.

I gently put my hands on his chest and I don't miss the little flinch of his breath. I trail my hands up to his neck and then take his face between my hands gently, feeling overwhelmed that I was touching him properly after a week, "I miss you, Carter." He closes his eyes and takes a sudden sharp breath in and then lets it out. He holds my wrists and pulls my hands away from his face, takes a step back. It was as if I burned him and he wanted some space between us to protect himself.

Where is the Carter who wouldn't let me have personal space? Who would hold me as many times as I wanted or kiss me whenever I asked. He says, "Is that it? You're trying to pick a fight with me because you miss me?" He shakes his head and turns around to walk away but I grab his hand and make him stop. I hold his face and turn him around to look at me. Thankfully, he lets me do whatever I want. I get on my toes and peck his lip. Maybe this will help. I peck him again. He doesn't reciprocate my kisses, just stays there without an ounce of emotion on his face. Watching me. Not getting a kiss back inflicted hurt on my pride but I stand firm. This time I beg, "Talk to me, Carter."

"What if I don't want to?"

I felt hurt again at the way he threw my words at me. Tears sting the back of my eyes and my throat hurts from holding in my cries, "Why is it so hard to see you? Why are you so distant when I need you the most?"

"I'm right here, Lilly."

"You're not." My bottom lip shivers and I curse myself for crying right now, "you're not here. You're not with me. You're not- you're not my Carter." He sighs again, "Lilly, I am so fucking tired, okay?" He pushes my hands away again but every time he's damn gentle in rejecting me. I ask, "Why are you not letting me touch you?" That gets him exasperated and he sighs loudly, "It's not what you think."

"Then tell me! Tell me your thoughts. Tell me what you're feeling. Just talk to me, please."

I watch him swallow, "You will never understand." And a bullet shot through my heart for the fourth time this night and the only thing I could think to ask him was, "You don't love me anymore?" His eyes go wide, he grabs my hands before I straighten them down, "You know I do."

"I don't know anymore, Carter, because you don't tell me."

He lets my hands go and grabs my hips, pulling me closer, "You know I love you so much." I just nod without looking at him, "Yes, to the point I suffocate you."

"What- where did that come from?"

"That's all I've been feeling now. I feel suffocating because you're not with me. I feel suffocating being locked in this corner every single minute. You don't let me go out."

"You know that this is for your safety-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence."

He swallows again, wraps his arms around my waist, and pulls me closer so that his forehead rests on my temple. His soft breaths fan my cheek. His phantom lips planted on my skin. He sighs, "I'm trying but you won't understand."

"Then explain it to me. If you think I won't understand, explain it to me. You think I won't see it, show me. You think I won't feel it, touch me. It's easy, Carter. You just make it difficult."

He pulls me to the point he's hugging me now. His chin rests on my shoulder and he takes a deep breath. I won't touch him because I don't want him to push me away again. I need to take my time with him at this moment.

He slowly explains, "I feel like I'm becoming like my father. Taking over the mafia, sitting in his chair, doing his work- I'm becoming him. I've seen the way he treated my mother. I've seen the way he changed when he came into more power. I'm turning like him, Lilly. And I'm afraid to hurt you. I don't want you to leave and I won't let you go. Ever. But I'm so fucking scared." His arms tighten around me and I slowly wrap my arms around him. He sighs and relaxed more in my arms.

His skin was warm under my hands as I gently rub up and down his spine. He relaxes with every stroke and falls deep into me. He turns his head and buried his face in my neck, his lips pressed to my skin as his soft exhales through his nose tickled me. He just wanted to be held at this moment but he was afraid to ask for it.

Typical male pride. It makes me smile. It makes me almost laugh. I chuckle softly and he tenses, "Are you laughing at me?" I won't lie, "So all this for a hug? Mafia baby." He snorts but then he pretends to be annoyed, "I am not a mafia baby." I agree, "Okay, baby Romano. Whatever you say." He nibbles on the skin of my neck and I yelp, "Carter!" He holds me tighter, "Don't move. I wanna give you a hickey."

"What? We're not in high school!"

"Let's pretend we are."

He kisses up my neck to my ear and whispers, "You know what high schoolers do, Lilly?" I whimper, "No."

"They fuck in the shower."

"Since when-" I don't even have time to protest that his words made no sense when he's pulling on the hem of my sweater, "Off! I want it off now." He doesn't even let my brain settle into the fact we're gonna have sex in the shower when he's pulling off my sweater and then pushing down my shorts. I wore no bra or panties. I'm instantly naked.
His pants are off the next second with his boxers and my eyes go wide at how attentive was his cock.

I ask, "A little hug and that's your reaction?" He chuckles, "A little touch and I want to fuck you. That's my reaction." He holds me and presses his lips on mine. Kissing me deep and hungry. He starts walking and I start taking steps backward to the bathroom.
He slides open the shower door and we're inside, he doesn't even close it and opens the water tap. I yelp again at the cold water but he fixes the temperature to soothing warm.

He pins me on the cold wall tiles and kisses down my neck. I don't wait for him at all as I take his cock and gently brush my thumb over the tip. He shivers in my neck and says, "You will kill me one day, Lilly. And I will die a happy man." I smile and gently stroke from the base to the tip. I wrap my other hand around his neck, taking his short hair between my fingers, and pull him away from my neck. His eyes are closed and his mouth is parted as I keep stroking. He's feeling every second of it and I love it.

I feel powerful. I feel dominated. I feel like... smiling.

I smile as I watch his reactions. The way his throat bobs as he swallows, the way he sighs from his mouth followed by a moan. I pull his head back and he smiles, his face facing up, "Always the fucking nerds." I chuckle and ask, "Does it feel good?"

"Yes."

"Do I do this better than all the other girls you've been with?"

"Oh god, yes."

"Are you about to cum?"

"Fuck. Yes. Fuck, Lilly. Fuck!"

I don't go faster and I don't go slower. I keep the same movement since the start. His breathing gets stuck in his throat and he growls, "Fuck me!" And then he cums all over my hand. He looks down at me, catching his breath, and then his eyes go to my hand. I wash my hand under the shower and he watches me with surprise and delights in his eyes.

I look at him with a victorious smile. He thought I could never make him cum and I love proving him wrong every single time.

I get on my toes and peck his chin, "And you thought I could never do it." He smiles and nods, "Your turn."

He turns me around and presses my front to the wall, spreading my legs wide with his foot at my ankles. Then he's crouching, grabbing my hips, and eating me out from behind. His tongue worked at my entrance up to my clit, then sucked it. I could barely stand up. Could barely keep my balance.

I moan, "I'm slipping, Carter." He groans and the next thing I know I'm being hauled out of the shower and into the bedroom. I cry, "But we're all wet! My hair is wet!" He growls, "I don't give a fuck. I'm having you right now." He throws me on our bed and spreads my legs wide, going on his knees and putting his mouth on me. It doesn't take me any time to start moaning his name, squirming under his mouth. Every time my legs try to close, he pulls them apart even wider so that I'm bared and stretched for him.

I cry as I orgasm, my body shivering, my hips thrusting. I want him off but I want this orgasm to last longer than my life.

I push my fingers in his hair and cry, "Stop. I need you, not your mouth." He stops and stands up, pulling me to the edge of the bed and raising my legs to rest on his shoulders. He tears the wrapper of the condom with his teeth and then slides the rubber down his cock.

I don't even know when he had time to grab it.

He pushes in, slowly, inside me. I moan as I feel him stretch me from the inside. Deep into the pit of my stomach. I look him in the eye and I don't miss the smirk and I don't miss the lust. He pulls out to his tip and then pushes in with full force. And then he's thrusting. Hard and fast. I throw my head back and moan his name and he moans mine. I clench around him and that makes him groan, makes his body spasm, but he keeps going. Thrusting inside me, filling me up, satisfying his hunger.

He growls, "Tell me you love me." Tears start spilling down my cheek and I cover my mouth with the back of my hand to stop myself from a loud cry. He pries my hand away and pulls out. He sits on the edge of the mattress and hauls me up, making me straddle him and gently pushing me down his cock again. My back arch as I feel him inside even deeper than usual and hiss. He moves my hips for me and I control the pace, going up and down on him by wrapping my arms around his neck. His eyes are never closed because he always wants to see what he does to me. He always wants to know how much I love it and him.

He whispers, "Tell me you love me." I'm close. Way too fucking close. He knows and he still guides my hips. I moan, "I love you."

"Tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours."

"Tell me you love it when I fuck you."

"I love it. I love it so fucking much."

Then I'm cumming. Shaking in his arms and my brain feels numb and my stomach feels overwhelmingly full. We slow down and I catch my breath. He has not cum yet but he waits on me. He waits for me to calm down for rounds two and three. I swallow, and kiss him, "I love you so much." And I start moving again, slowly, clenching myself around him purposely. His teeth grit as he stops his moans but I grab his face and whisper, "Moan my name. Tell me that you love me too." I keep clenching and unclenching, making slow up-and-down movements on his cock.

He moans, "I love you, Lilly." And then he's cumming. The vein on the side of his neck bulge and it takes him a while to catch his breath. He chuckles and lays down while I'm still straddling his lap with him inside me. He hides his face with his hands and laughs even more, "Fuck. Sex with you is the greatest thing in the world." I lean forward and kiss down his chest. He lifts his head to look at me and smiles. His hands rest on my cheek but I still keep kissing his warm wet chest. My eyes locked on his.

He says, "I'm so glad I have you in my life." I rest my chin on his chest and smile at him, well aware I was dripping down on his cock with the way we had sex 20 seconds ago. He says, "I'm sorry if you feel trapped with me, Lilly. I'm trying, I promise. I'm trying my hardest to protect us and get out of here as soon as we can and then live our lives. You don't deserve a man like me. I know you want children and I know you want normalcy but you can't have that with me. The only thing I can offer you is a life with me, a house near a beach. I can offer you all of me and all my love. That's it. That's all I can give you. I can even give you my life. Please don't be disappointed with this. I promise I won't disappoint you."

I swallow my cries and say, "Carter, I don't need all that. I just need you. I need us together. I love you and that is enough. I can't offer you a lot of things. I can't offer a house on the beach." He takes my face in his hands and pulls me in for a deep kiss, "The fact you're with me and that you love me is enough for me, Lilly. It's perfect enough. You're enough for me."

"And you're enough for me."

He smiles at my words and wraps his arms around me, pulling me up a little and planting his lips on mine. As we kiss, I feel his hips move again, thrusting inside me again as he keeps kissing me.

And round two begins.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Hope you liked this chapter.
Make sure to vote and comment.
Swipe up!

Love, Hope
♥️♥️