Reviewed by : Mejososush

Author : SaVi_06
Title : Caught in the middle
Genre : Humor

Review

C

over :
4/5

The cover seems a bit childish but it does the work of hooking in readers. ( Especially, the bright purple that catches the eye! ) It also gives an idea of where the story could possibly be located.

Blurb :
4/5

A pretty good one. The blurb is written in a way that it describes the MCs' characteristic traits without really telling it directly. For example, most books we see have a common way of introducing their characters in the blurb, like,

Meet so-and-so, a smart, beautiful girl, etc.

In this case, well, you present something really simple and tell how the characters react to it. It intrigues readers and makes them consider reading atleast the first few chapters. But then, not many are interested in indirect blurbs. Though your idea was good, I would suggest that you try to change the way your blurb ends. (Especially, try to rewrite the blurb from the part where you tell about Neha wanting to fly and soar high using her wings.)

Title :
3/5

Your title's good, but quite ordinary. From what I've read, it suits the story, but doesn't have that touch to it that drags readers in. Personally, I don't think that your title goes well with your cover. Suggestions, well, your title's fine as it is because it goes well with the story. What really takes away the title's charm is the childish tinge added to it by the cover. 

Plot :
7/10

I can't really say that your story starts off perfectly. Well, all stories need an intro, but then, I just feel the introduction is too exaggerated. You know what I mean? Like, yeah you need to describe each character's feelings and emotions, but you needn't spend so much time on just describing the place that the character is in. You also needn't describe every single minor thing in detail. Those types of writing methods just slows down your story and will lose readers, unless you keep updating often. Emphasizing the word often.  From what I've read, the pace of the story is good, readers can go with it, but then, the main plot that takes the story and the readers for a joyride hasn't yet started in your story. It's better if you're more clear with when you change the scenarios from Neha to Kabir. It's confusing sometimes. Your story's also a bit too predictable. When a story is predictable, readers lose interest and you, as an author, lose readers.

P. S. Your attempt at inducing humor in the story right from the very start is appreciated. It was really good. You put in the places that it is supposed to be in and I must say this, you have done a great job at explaining the Indian mindset and attitude towards matchmaking.

Character Development :
10/15

You have done a good job with Neha and though I haven't yet gotten a good idea about what kind of a person she really is, I can easily understand her and she isn't much of a mystery, which, if I might say so, is a bit cliche but set in a different background.  

Kabir, well, he's still mostly a mystery except for the careless exterior, which I guess will be the same way we see Kabir for the next few chapters. Daadi and Maasi? So far, good job.

But, I must deduct points, because you've totally skipped Ankit, Neha's friend, when readers might have wanted to know more about him than just a person who's too childish, dramatic and clumsy. Ankit and Daadi are the main humor elements of the novel.

Notice that I've just mentioned good job. You could certainly do better. That way, it would surely get you genuine readers. ✌

Spelling and Grammar :
8/10

Not much mistakes. Here and there, there are some mistakes that can easily be overlooked, but then I advise you not to. I suggest you proof read your chapters before publishing them. 

Overall :
8/10

Overall, your story's awesome. It could do with some editing, fine-tuning and a slow re-read to make it flow better in the first 1-4 chapters so that it doesn't look like you are neglecting your characters or just filling up the page with words for the sake of good description. 
Other than that, I would say your book's the perfect thing that people are looking for if they're into carefree hot guys and sincere, punctual, well, you get the picture, our regular good girl with a tinge of sarcasm and a bit of an attitude.

Other comments (no marks) :

So far, I like your book an I'm intrigued by it. It would surely take me some more chapters if I'm expected to love your book. I would say that this is one of the first times a story is set in the Indian mindset and is written really well in that way without criticising our culture too much and I like that about your story. (First times in the sense, first time in Wattpad. ) Usually, if you look for a good book with a good plot which is located in India, the book mostly consists of criticising our conservative ancestors and cultures. Eventhough times are changing, people writing books don't seem to understand that. I'm happy you understood that criticising our own culture and actions is not really an interesting thing to read. Your book contains criticism, but in the perfect amount where we find it humorous, not in an exaggerated way where we are just sick of it. 

To frankly say, you've done a really good job and you've earned yourself a reader here! *Claps*.

***

I hope this is fine.

Yours,
Key-keeper Meenakshi.